It's all my fault that things have come to this today.
It's all my fault that things have come to this today.
"Hah..."
It was a riverside spot, fairly far from the open field.
There, crouched on the ground, the girl let out a heavy sigh.
She was the girl who just moments ago, overcome with rage, had lashed out at her friends.
Now, having parted from them, only deep unease remained in her heart.
She did not regret what she had done, however.
'So annoying... How long do I have to keep hanging around with people like them, anyway?'
Her father had given her a strict command: go meet people and make friends.
Yet the harder she tried to follow it, the more it left her with nothing but displeasure.
The girl had always outshone others.
In scholarship,
in martial arts,
she had always been told, in every respect, that she was remarkable among her peers.
But this striking ability of hers
had planted in her heart a persistent feeling of frustration.
Why do they act that way?
Why can't they manage something so simple?
Why do they make such obvious mistakes?
When she gathered her courage to point these things out, their reactions fell into two broad types.
They would snap, "Just how special do you think you are!" and drift away, angry.
Or they would say they'd be careful from then on, only to keep repeating the same mistakes.
Either way, spending time with them only ever added to the maddening sense of being held back.
After all, even during cuju today, hadn't those fools' incompetence cost them the game?
"Tch!"
Filled with pure irritation, she picked up a stone lying nearby and flung it straight into the stream.
—Plunk!
The stone sank into the water with a sound.
Watching it wobble slowly toward the riverbed despite the noisy splash only sharpened her irritation.
Then.
—Skitter-click!
"Hm?"
Another stone skipped past the spot where hers had sunk.
But unlike her stone, which had gone straight down, this one did not sink all at once. It skimmed lightly over the surface, bouncing as it went.
"Whoa..."
Skipping about five times, it flew all the way to a far point before vanishing into the water.
It was a sight she had never seen before in her life, as though the stone had come alive, and it began to flood her heart—so full of irritation only moments earlier—with pure curiosity.
Then.
"In the old days I could make it skip eight times... Being out of practice for so long seems to have dulled my skill considerably."
"! ... You're obviously..."
It was the man who had nearly been struck by the ball earlier because of the others' mistakes.
Even to her, young as she was, he was strikingly handsome.
He looked at her, offered a light smile, then threw another stone toward the river.
—Skitter-click!
This time the stone skipped about six times before sinking beneath the water.
Watching this marvelous sight, the girl's eyes began to sparkle.
And,
to the girl thus spellbound, the man held out a stone and asked,
"If you wish, I can teach you. Would you care to try?"
"Ah... yes! I... I want to try!"
His clothing alone made it plain enough that he was a person of considerable rank.
But whatever she knew of that, the young girl's attention was fixed far more on the promise of learning the wondrous trick she had just witnessed.
As she took the stone, feeling a keen thrill, the man began to explain things step by step.
"Now, you hold it like this. You keep it low, as if skimming the ground, and put as much spin as you can into it..."
With a careful touch, he adjusted her posture.
Following his explanation, the girl took the stone and threw it toward the river.
But.
—Plunk.
"... Hnnn..."
Contrary to expectation, the stone sank at once.
Disappointment crept onto the girl's face, but the man kept his smile and offered her another stone.
"Do not be impatient. Drop your posture a little more, and sweep the stone across the water."
"Umm..."
She kept throwing stones as he instructed.
Each attempt ended in failure, but with her fern-like little hands she refused to give up and kept trying.
Imitating the man beside her, who now and then offered another demonstration.
And at last.
—Click!
"Ah!"
At last her stone succeeded in skipping about three times.
On seeing it, the girl's face instantly filled with intense delight.
"I did it! Finally!"
"Indeed, well done."
With a smile, the man gently ruffled her hair.
It was nothing like what he had shown her, but the simple fact of having picked up a skill she had never seen before brought her happiness.
Feeling pleased with herself, the girl sat down on the spot for a moment.
The man settled beside her and spoke in a calm voice.
"Was it enjoyable?"
"Yes, I never imagined you could do something like that with just a little stone."
"Indeed. As you say, even things you normally consider useless can bring you a good deal of joy depending on how you handle them. Even that small stone is like that. And so are the friends you find so vexing."
"!..."
His words held a pointed edge.
Flustered for a moment, the girl asked cautiously,
"You were... watching?"
"I was. You were certainly quite good for your age. But that was all. I found it regrettable that you achieved none of what you truly set out to do."
"What I set out to do?"
"Say what you will, but in the end, the reason for playing cuju is to find enjoyment, is it not? Winning would be nice, of course, but if something you do for fun only leaves you irritated, that truly is putting the cart before the horse."
"Still... that's because those children..."
—Skitter-click!
Before she could finish, a stone left the man's hand.
Watching it skip seven times across the water before sinking, he spoke with a smile on his lips.
"Winning is not the only way to enjoy yourself. You can lose yourself completely in something as simple as skipping stones—so when it comes to games with your friends, I need say no more."
"Ah..."
What he said seemed to break the frame she had been clinging to all along.
As the man had said, the girl had been so single-minded about winning that she had never looked around at anything else.
The main reason was that she had never particularly wanted to act that way in the first place...
But after hearing his words, she began to think she had been terribly narrow-minded.
Toward the girl who was thinking these thoughts,
the man slowly rose to his feet and held out his hand.
"Will you stay here by yourself? Or go apologize to your friends and look for a different kind of enjoyment together? As I see it, a clever girl like you should be able to come up with a fine way, if you choose the latter."
"..."
Wearing a dazed expression, the girl looked at the outstretched hand.
Then.
A small smile touched her lips, and she took his hand and rose.
"I had heard the rumors, but... it seems you are far more remarkable an individual than I imagined. General Yuan."
"Hm? You knew?"
For the first time, the man's face showed faint surprise.
Watching that face, the girl gave a light laugh and began to explain how she had recognized him.
His face was unfamiliar, so he had to be from another region;
his strikingly fine attire and the woman warrior with a weapon accompanying him told the girl at a glance that he was someone of quite high station.
And... among high-ranking outsiders who had come to this vicinity lately...
"The only man who fits all of that must be General Yuan, who has his army encamped just outside the village."
"... Heh-heh. This child is far sharper than I expected. To piece together such simple facts and reason your way to that conclusion. You will certainly become a great person someday."
The general spoke with a deep smile.
Yet at the same time, the girl could read it.
A trace of regret lingered in his eyes.
What could that mean?
The girl felt she might dimly know the answer...
but she decided not to speak of it here.
Clever as she was, she already knew.
That in the present circumstances, talking about it would only deepen that regret...
'If I ever look for someone to become my lord... I think I'd like someone like him...'
Walking along, holding the man's hand,
that child—
the girl who bore the name of Yi—
found herself wishing, for the first time, that she could grow up quickly.
*
"Huff... We lost again."
"S-sorry, Yi... Even though you tried so hard..."
The children offered their apologies, full of guilt.
Toward them, the girl who only days before had openly shown her fury now offered words of comfort instead.
"It's all right. I know all of you did your best. Today's defeat is entirely my fault."
She gave her comfort and placed the blame on herself.
True, it hadn't been a bad strategy at all, yet they had clearly lost this time because her friends were out of their depth.
Even so, the girl's words only planted deeper guilt in her friends' hearts.
After all, these were children whose skill might be lacking, but whose hearts were good in many ways.
Watching this, the girl smiled deeply.
A smile, as though she found something oddly amusing, though exactly why was not clear...
Despite the loss, the warmth of the scene was so unlike the past that it filled me with pride.
"Impressive. To turn a girl like a wildcat into that. I never knew you had it in you to handle a little brat like that, my lord."
"It isn't exactly a skill. I merely made use of a child's simplicity. Unlike adults, children only need one small push to change easily."
"Really, our lord can do anything. Where in the world did you learn that? From a book, too?"
"Haha... well... something... like that."
To Ji Ling, who sounded so impressed, I gave a vague reply.
The truth was it was a skill I had picked up in my previous life from having often looked after my young nephews, but there was no need to tell her that.
At any rate, happy simply that the children before me had regained their smiles, I left the village and started back toward the allied encampment.
A familiar shout stopped me.
"Gwah! Found you at last! So this is where you were!"
Hua Xiong came running toward us in a great hurry.
Watching her charge over as though a fire had broken out in a griddle-cake shop, Ji Ling and I both asked, with a mix of curiosity and a touch of worry,
"First, calm down. What's so urgent?"
"Did something happen?"
"I-it is this! Here! Just now our scouts caught him and brought him, still practically flopping with life—a message from Cheng Pu!"
Normally Hua Xiong was already a handful, but today she seemed especially wildly animated. Ji Ling and I looked at the letter she handed over.
And.
"... What the hell."
"Oh, damn it!"