If the class average is an F, then a B is a genius.
If the class average is an F, then a B is a genius.
Luoyang, the capital of Han.
For two hundred years it had served as the heart of the empire that unified the Central Plains,
and befitting its renown and authority, a magnificent Imperial Palace of colossal scale stood at its center.
In a chamber deep within that palace,
a cluster of people sat with grave expressions on their faces.
"So... you are telling me they've lost again?"
"Th-that is correct, Lord Zhang Rang."
"They say the ten thousand troops led by the Governor of Guangping were annihilated by the Yellow Turbans..."
"Utterly pathetic..."
"To be routed this badly by mere bandits. What in the world are the government troops even doing!"
Ten eunuchs, their expressions a mixture of discontent and anxiety.
Those known as the Ten Regular Attendants were raising their voices as they examined yet another report of defeat.
"That makes five reports today alone. No matter how fierce the bandits' momentum is, this is truly too much!"
"Not a single decent victory report... To think the people we appointed could be this incompetent..."
"This is no ordinary matter. At this rate, the bandits might truly break through all the way to this very region of Henan."
For all the talk of the Ten Regular Attendants ruining the nation, even they were being forced to take the situation with increasing gravity.
Whatever else could be said, if these defeats continued, the bandits might well reach Henan... and further still, swarm all the way into Luoyang itself.
Were that to happen, it would not be merely a stream of bad tidings—their own personal safety would be imperiled.
If only to protect their own power and wealth, they could no longer afford to sit idle and watch.
Alongside the unbroken string of defeats, the credibility of the officials they had appointed in exchange for bribes was plummeting by the day.
In the end, though it grated on them fiercely, the Ten Regular Attendants began to consider that some sort of special measure had become unavoidable.
A report interrupted their deliberations.
"Lord Zhang Rang! A report!"
"... Hah..."
"This is maddening! Another defeat, is it?"
Zhang Rang sighed, and Jian Shuo cried out in thick exasperation.
They knew losing their tempers would not solve anything, but after days buried under nothing but news of defeat, their patience had all but run dry.
Except.
"N-no! This time it is news of victory!"
"What?"
"Victory? Where in the world? From whom?"
For a fleeting moment the Ten Regular Attendants' faces brightened, like parched earth meeting sweet rain...
but as the report continued, they found themselves frowning almost reflexively.
"General Who Guards the North Yuan Shu... won a victory, you say?"
"That is correct. He repelled several thousand Yellow Turbans encroaching on the border between Hedong and Bing Province, and in the process sent back the severed head of an enemy commander."
"... Hm."
"Tch... of all the countless people it could have been, why did it have to be..."
The Ten Regular Attendants wore expressions of mild discomfort, and Jian Shuo in particular openly displayed his irritation.
Even though he was a Yuan Clan heir with ties to them,
they had been burned in ways large and small back when Yuan Shu served as Changshui Colonel. From that standpoint, this victory report was hardly pure delight.
Jian Shuo's case was even worse—he still nursed a grudge over his late uncle's death—but even he, for now, had no choice but to interpret this "victory report" in a positive light.
"That brat... to think he might actually have a talent for this sort of thing."
"Well, still, a victory is a victory, is it not. Parts of it may sit poorly, but let us for now receive it favorably."
"Yes... I suppose we must. At the moment, the fact of the victory itself is what matters."
"Besides, it was none other than ourselves who appointed him General Who Guards the North and told him to suppress the bandits. If one looks at it squarely, he faithfully carried out the order we gave—there is no need for discontent."
At the words of their leader Zhang Rang, the Ten Regular Attendants gave their provisional assent.
With the atmosphere thus somewhat settled, Zhang Rang began to consider in earnest how to handle the matter.
"First, we must bestow a reward upon Yuan Shu for his victory. Another rank is... still a bit much at present; for now, send a monetary reward and provisions to feed the soldiers."
"It shall be done."
"At the same time, since things have come this far, work out how to make the most effective use of him. Whatever else, we must put out the most urgent fire first, must we not."
"Understood. We will devise a plan."
To be honest, the victory Yuan Shu had won was not particularly impressive if judged by scale alone.
He had merely crushed a few thousand out of the Yellow Turbans, whose numbers were estimated in the hundreds of thousands at least,
and even those were not the main force led by the ringleader Zhang Jiao.
Yet one precious victory arriving amid a succession of defeats caused the Ten Regular Attendants and their subordinate officials to rate the talent of a man called Yuan Shu exceptionally highly.
The same principle by which, when everyone else is getting Fs, a B is treated as a genius.
And so the Ten Regular Attendants began to scheme how to squeeze every possible use out of this young lord who had delivered an unexpected victory report.
Naturally, they gave no thought to the wishes of the man himself.
Because for their part, no matter how much dissatisfaction the other party harbored, they held an absolute weapon that could crush it—the Emperor.
*
In the early stages, the Yellow Turbans' momentum was nothing short of ferocious.
Government troops were routed, weakened by every form of corruption, and the Yellow Turbans rampaged through villages and cities at will, establishing themselves as a force of pure terror.
Setting aside the thorough thrashing they would receive later, at the moment they first rose up they were a force that carried some genuine weight.
Even so, the news now reaching my ears was making a single thought rise to mind.
'These motherfucking bastards have gone completely insane...'
For the record, that remark was not directed at the Yellow Turbans.
The target of the profanity—which, with the imperial envoy standing right before me, I could not quite bring myself to voice aloud—was those Ten Regular Attendant bastards who had issued this sort of order... and the government troops of other regions who had faced the Yellow Turbans in battle.
After rising in revolt, the Yellow Turbans had spread their influence outward from the eight provinces of the Later Han's northeast, reaching even the surrounding territories.
In response, governors and inspectors in every region were mobilizing the troops under their command in a desperate effort to resist, and as a result, battles great and small were breaking out across the realm between government forces and the Yellow Turbans.
And the outcome, in most cases, was a complete and utter rout.
Or at best, if one were generous, a draw.
There was no way that governors and inspectors who had bought their posts with bribes would possess any respectable military ability.
Add to that a magnificent train wreck featuring soldiers who, far from receiving proper training, had devoted themselves to fleecing the common people with the weapons in their hands.
With things so thoroughly broken from top to bottom, what were called government troops ended up being literally and enthusiastically ground to pieces by the Yellow Turbans, who held an overwhelming advantage in sheer numbers at the very least.
There were a handful of decent people here and there, but most of them came from the Pure Stream Faction hostile to the Ten Regular Attendants, placing them in positions too low for command or where they could barely exercise authority.
The torrent of defeat reports pouring in from every direction finally alarmed not only the court's senior officials, but even the eunuchs and the Emperor.
Thanks to that, in the Original Timeline it served as the occasion for large-scale appointments of the previously persecuted Pure Stream figures centered on General-in-Chief He Jin in order to put out the immediate fire...
but separately from that, at this point in time, it seemed that the court was nonetheless showing considerable interest in me, who had sent them at least one small victory report.
'Fuck, I knew they'd all crash and burn collectively in the opening stage, but I didn't think it'd be this bad...'
The problem was, that interest...
was exactly like that one college student who gets stuck carrying the whole group project.
"So, what you mean is... a large Yellow Turban army is bearing down on Henei Commandery, and you are telling us to stop them... is that correct?"
"Yes, that is correct, General."
"You do know the distance from here to Henei, I trust?"
"Ah..."
Henei was technically part of Sili Province, and on the map it did press up against this region of Hedong,
but considering that our current location was the northernmost edge of Hedong right along the Bing Province border, it would take at least several days of steady marching to reach Henei.
If this were Korea, it would be like doing a good job in Gwangju and being sent on an expedition all the way to Busan.
And undertaking it not alone but leading a force of over ten thousand was, naturally, an immensely burdensome affair.
Faced with an imperial edict that was abruptly shipping me off on long-term detached duty...
and into a region that was not even under my original jurisdiction. My resentment rose straight to my throat.
"Of course it will not be an easy task, but it is a command issued by His Majesty the Emperor in his trust for the General Who Guards the North, so I ask you to carry it out with certainty."
Trust my frozen ass, the man's never even seen my face.
In the first place, when he stamped his seal on this, that person called the Emperor probably had no idea what was even written inside it, right?
The hundred-percent-certain full story is just that the Ten Regular Attendants told him, "This one's really good, Your Majesty, go ahead and stamp it," and he stamped it.
But just as with the cursing earlier, this was also not something I could say aloud, so in the end, for now, I could only smile and quietly accept this utterly fucked situation.
"It is His Majesty the Emperor's command, so naturally I must do my utmost... Sir. You've had a hard journey; please return now."
"Yes, General. Then I shall pray for your fortunes in battle."
The imperial envoy serenely departed, having neatly deposited his bomb in my lap.
Feeling thoroughly foul-tempered, I looked back toward Ji Ling and the other officers standing behind me and spoke.
"That being how it is, we move to Henei for now. Everyone, prepare to move out."
"Yes... General."
"Damn it. Those accursed Ten Regular Attendants, I never imagined they'd screw us over this way..."
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Ji Ling and the officers grumpily began heading toward where the soldiers were.
It was a scene that vividly demonstrated that a long-term assignment away from home was just as hated then as it is now.
*
Henei, pressed right up against Hedong.
Geographically it was the location that defended the northern approach to Henan, where the capital Luoyang lay, and the court was now gripped with dread that this very place might fall into the Yellow Turbans' hands—and worse, that if it were swallowed, Henan and even Luoyang itself might come under direct assault.
Of course, from my position of knowing the Original Timeline, I was aware it would not go that far, but separately from that, I was in the position of "if they say jump, you jump."
And so my soldiers and I were in the middle of several days of steady marching across the Hedong region, a distance that could by no stretch be called short.
"About how much farther?"
"If what the soldiers from Henei say holds, roughly three days. We still have to cross a river twice more along the way."
"Three days just to arrive... and who knows how long after that it will take to find the enemy."
Provisions were not yet a serious issue—thanks to the extra the envoy had brought along, we still had ample supply, and in a pinch I could contact the clan and draw on more—but the soldiers' fatigue from the long-distance march was an unavoidable factor.
At the same time, with no way of knowing when or how the enemy might launch their attack, we could not afford to take things leisurely.
So, once again feeling the full shittiness of this assignment,
and simultaneously thinking that if I somehow won this one too, they would likely hand me something even more batshit insane next,
I inwardly showered the Ten Regular Attendants with a torrent of colorful profanity as I pressed the march onward.
'I just wanted to peacefully suck some honey, these sons of bitches...'
A soldier's call interrupted my grumbling.
"General!"
"What is it?"
A scout came racing toward us.
I had orders in place to keep them constantly sweeping the surroundings like deployed observers, and he pulled his horse to a stop before me and spoke in an urgent voice.
"A serious situation! Not far from here, a body of government troops is encircled and under attack by the Yellow Turbans!"
"What? Government troops?"
From the sound of it, the government soldiers were in considerable danger.
They were probably one of the units currently getting beaten senseless by the Yellow Turbans, but even so I could not simply ignore them and pass by.
For one, they were allies, and more than anything, if government troops were to be defeated here, the Hedong area—which we had only just cleaned up once through the previous battle—might well descend into chaos all over again.
And so we hurriedly changed course and began moving toward the place where the government troops were said to be surrounded.
Just as the scout had said, it did not take long to reach the site.
The scene that unfolded before us was Yellow Turbans pressing the government soldiers from all sides.
And, resisting them as fiercely as a worm thrashing amid a swarm of ants, a band of government troops.
Among them, one figure in particular caught my eye.
A woman fighting mounted on a red warhorse that rampaged without restraint, wielding sword and bow with complete freedom.
Tall for a woman, with purple hair streaming behind her, she was displaying tremendous martial strength—every swing of her sword cut down three or four men at a time.
At the same time, she periodically loosed arrows to aid her allies, showcasing superb martial skill. This female general was single-handedly holding together a formation that looked ready to collapse at any moment.
"Not bad, that woman. She's in a tight spot, but her skill is definitely far above average."
As Ji Ling remarked, I watched her display martial prowess that drew real admiration,
and with a faint gleam in my eyes, I spoke firmly.
"This isn't the time to stand around watching. Alright, let's go rescue them."
"Mm! Understood, my lord."
And so, with the thought, 'If I play this right, maybe this time...' running through my head, I spurred my horse forward, leading the soldiers.