Smitten with Cao Cao's Cavalry
Guan Yu had fallen for Cao Cao's cavalry.
"Bwahahaha! Did you hear that, you lot? He says it's a shambles! A complete mess!"
The axe-wielding warrior Xu Huang's roar of laughter exploded across the field. Guan Yu, arms still folded, merely gave a quiet hmph and shook his head.
The ever-courteous Zhang Liao requested instruction.
"If you would be so kind as to point out our shortcomings, Brother Guan."
Guan Yu raised the Green Dragon Crescent Blade and indicated two junctions in the triangular formation the three cavalry units had deployed.
"You appear to have mixed the Awl Formation with the Spearhead Formation to wring out every last drop of mobility, but with the connecting points that loose, the force is all too liable to split apart. Yide and I could snap those links in no time with a mere five hundred horse apiece."
Xu Huang marveled at once.
"Oh, that's our Guan Yunchang for you! A pinpoint observation. But claiming you could break it with only five hundred—that's stretching it, surely!"
The three men, close friends since the days when Liu Bei's army and Cao Cao's had fought side by side, addressed one another by courtesy name rather than given name. Yunchang was Guan Yu's courtesy name; Xu Huang's was Gongming, and Zhang Liao's was Wenyuan.
"Stretching it? Hardly. When the forward Awl unit maneuvers, a gap must open between it and the two Spearhead units supporting from the rear. We would form a thousand horse into an Awl of our own, charge them head-on, then split in two right before their eyes. Drive in from left and right through the gaps that open with the lagging Spearhead units, and the whole formation collapses."
Zhang Liao nodded.
"So you would let the forward Awl unit pass through and then drive into the flanks. But is such swift maneuvering even possible when cavalry collides head-on with cavalry?"
"It would have been possible with Liu Bei's cavalry. As for Cao Cao's—I couldn't say!"
Xu Huang let out a long whistle. The northern province of Youzhou, bordering the Wuhuan tribes, produced excellent horsemen in abundance. Liu Bei's cavalry, hailing from Youzhou, had been a shock force renowned across the continent for its mobility, standing alongside Gongsun Zan's White Horse Followers. Cao Cao's army had often struggled against Liu Bei's forces, which, though outnumbered, fielded an unusually high proportion of horse.
"Yunchang, then let's make a wager."
"A wager?"
"How about you and Zhang Liao each take five hundred and try to break the formation I command?"
At Xu Huang's proposal, Guan Yu's eyebrows shot up.
"One cannot treat the command of troops as a game. Besides, I have just laid out exactly how I would break the formation—how could that possibly be a fair wager? Xu Gongming, you would have no trouble stopping me."
"Ugh... well, that's true, but..."
"And what would Wenyuan stand to gain by helping me smash his own army? The wager cannot even stand."
Xu Huang, a man who would find a way to wager on anything, scratched his head in search of a solution—until Zhang Liao stepped in.
"Brother Guan, then how about this? You take command of our main force, and Xu Huang and I each take five hundred horse and attempt to break through your formation."
"You two, break through me?"
Guan Yu's eyebrows twitched. Even a provocation this mild was enough to get a rise out of the man.
"Yes. Though I, for one, do not believe you will be broken."
"Will not be broken?"
"Our army may appear to have weaknesses on the surface, but our defining strength is the way each unit's swift independent judgment, followed by coordinated maneuver, compensates for those very weaknesses."
"And so?"
"I would like to demonstrate our units' capacity for improvisation. We shall execute the very tactic you just described. Watch how our army responds, and if you retract your verdict that we are a shambles, we shall count it as our victory. Should you still find our army a mess, then we shall count it as our loss. How does that sound?"
Guan Yu considered for a moment, then agreed to the wager.
"Very well! Now that I have joined Cao Cao's army, I shall analyze its capabilities down to the last detail."
"Oh! Excellent! This is going to be fun!"
Xu Huang gave a thumbs-up of hearty approval. After a high-five with Zhang Liao, he called after Guan Yu, who was already spurring his horse toward the unit he would command.
"Yunchang! But what are we wagering? How about the loser covers the drinks until we all pass out?"
Guan Yu reined in his horse, turned, and asked,
"Are you certain? My capacity has been tempered drinking alongside my brother Yide. If you wish to challenge me, by all means, try!"
"Then tonight, let us set a new record together!"
Watching Zhang Liao's confident reply, Guan Yu gave a quiet chuckle, turned, and spurred his horse toward the cavalry.
Watching him go, Xu Huang whispered to Zhang Liao.
"That should do it, then? His Lordship did tell us to get Guan Yu drinking."
"Well, I have wanted to drink with Brother Guan until we both lost consciousness at least once, so this works out rather well."
"Good. Let's not go down too easily, though."
The two men bumped fists, then galloped off to take command of their respective units.
After an hour of sandstorms swirling across the training grounds, the wager was over.
This is what had unfolded.
The units led by Xu Huang and Zhang Liao struck the formation's weak points with precision. Guan Yu, offering no particular commands, simply watched as the formation split apart.
But what came next was astonishing. The subunit commanders of the divided formation immediately rallied their troops, wheeled about, and—matching Guan Yu's position—deployed into a Crane Wing Formation, closing a net of encirclement. Startled, Guan Yu matched the maneuver with a Crane Wing of his own, and Xu Huang's and Zhang Liao's forces—which had driven into the center to split the formation—found themselves surrounded and annihilated by the three units.
Guan Yu drove Cao Cao's cavalry, soaked through with sweat, back to where Zhang Liao and Xu Huang waited.
Guan Yu was genuinely impressed.
"Hah... hah... See? Not so... easy, is it?"
"Huff... huff... That Brother Guan... acknowledges it... is a relief."
The soldiers under Guan Yu's command were thoroughly exhausted, but Zhang Liao's and Xu Huang's men looked no better. It was fortunate they had used training weapons. Had they fought with real steel, every last man would have been left a corpse upon the field.
"The subunit commanders led splendidly. Which generals are they?"
The subunit commanders who had served under Guan Yu offered their respects from horseback.
"Cao Xiu, courtesy name Wenlie."
"Cao Chun, courtesy name Zihe."
The Cao clan! Guan Yu felt a fresh sting of defeat—not only at the Cao family's fearsome talent, but at how extraordinarily young these two generals were.
"So you are both kinsmen of Chancellor Cao. I see now where such outstanding talent originates."
Cao Chun replied.
"You honor us too much. For the soldiers of the Tiger and Leopard Cavalry, it is rather we who are honored to train under General Guan, whom our uncle so admires."
"The Tiger and Leopard Cavalry... I see. Cao Cao's finest elite horse, then."
It was not merely the Tiger and Leopard Cavalry's improvisation that had astonished Guan Yu. He had also been stunned by how swiftly and superbly the soldiers moved—as if they were a unit he had trained for years. A mere flick of the fingers completed a formation; the slightest signal produced coordinated, systematic movement.
Guan Yu felt a rush of exhilaration, as if an F1 racer long trapped in a beat-up old van had just climbed into a brand-new sports car.
When have they ever served under my command, that they should take to me so quickly?
He found himself marveling even at Cao Cao's army for accepting, without friction, the command of a surrendered general. Even in the midst of commanding, he had begun to hate himself a little for how much he was coming to like Cao Cao's forces.
Remembering the soldiers of Liu Bei's army I left behind... I drove them too hard.
Thanks to Guan Yu relentlessly driving the soldiers at a terrifying pace and intensity, even the formidable Tiger and Leopard Cavalry had been pushed nearly to their limits. Yet, clinging to their pride as Cao Cao's strongest horse, they barely managed to keep from collapsing out of the saddle.
Brother Liu Bei, Yide... if this Guan Yu were to admit he found a certain allure in commanding Cao Cao's army, would you be disappointed...
As Guan Yu sat lost in thought upon his horse, Xu Huang came up and clapped him hard on the back.
"Hahaha! Don't look so sour, Yunchang! We'll split the drinks! I'll take you to the finest wine house in Xuchang!"
"No, I..."
"Brother Guan, surely you do not mean to break your word!"
Caught in a strange guilt, as if he had been unfaithful, Guan Yu allowed Xu Huang and Zhang Liao to lead him toward the tavern.
That night, Lady Gan and Lady Mi were struck speechless as they received Guan Yu, who had come home thoroughly plastered.
"Ah, Brother-in-law, how much did you drink to end up like this..."
"Urgh... Sister-in-law... I... apologize... kh..."
"Th-the smell of wine is overwhelming... Lord Guan Yu..."
Xu Huang and Zhang Liao, who had labored to haul the massive Guan Yu home, offered repeated apologies with guilty faces.
"W-we are terribly sorry. We got... rather carried away after winning the wager, and ended up pouring far too much into Brother Guan..."
"W-we believed Yunchang when he said he could hold his liquor, but we never expected him to collapse so suddenly..."
"That's quite enough—please go home at once! We will look after General Guan ourselves!"
Lady Gan, eyeing the two generals with suspicion—neither of whom seemed particularly drunk—firmly sent them packing, even as they insisted on staying the night in Guan Yu's room.
How could you come home this drunk, Lord Guan Yu!
More hateful and disappointing than the two generals was the sight of Guan Yu himself, staggering off to bed.
No. It isn't Lord Guan Yu I resent...
They themselves had gone to an audience with His Majesty the Emperor today, then thoughtlessly taken a bath and gulped down every cup of tea they were offered. However pleasant the massage had been, they had stripped without a second thought, surrendered their naked bodies, and—though nothing seemed to have happened—had even briefly lost consciousness...
How pathetic. We are all so pathetic, Lord Guan Yu!
The self-reproach she felt for her own carelessness seemed to bleed into anger at Guan Yu, who had drunk himself unconscious in what was, for all intents and purposes, enemy territory.
Lord Guan Yu has drunk through the night with his brothers and never once shown himself this intoxicated. Just how much did he drink...
She could not shake a lingering sense that something was amiss.
Perhaps they used some kind of drug on him, too?
Lady Gan stepped out into the courtyard and looked toward Guan Yu's room, where a shadow moved beneath the lantern light. The one arranging Guan Yu's bedding, changing his clothes, and laying him down to rest was none other than Lady Zou.