The Finest Appetizer
Gulp.
Xun You was certain the sound of Xu Chu swallowing had filled the entire room. No — that was only his imagination. In truth, every man present was hearing the sound of his own throat working inside his head.
Two naked bodies, each clutching nothing but a single thin towel, had just stepped into the grand bath.
And of the two, it was Lady Mi's chest — that overwhelming mass, as if it could swallow every last particle of light like a black hole — that pinned every gaze in the room.
She's... she's not covering them...
Just as Li Dian had been so shocked to discover, Lady Mi was not covering her breasts at all. She held the towel modestly over her belly instead. The limp, gossamer cloth barely veiled her pussy, fluttering around her knees. Those insanely enormous breasts hung in complete freedom, swaying as they became, quite simply, a part of the grand bath itself.
Lord Yu Jin... he really can't take his eyes off them.
Xun Yu observed Yu Jin — a well-known breast maniac — sitting with his mouth half-open. Yu Jin's vacant stare followed the path of Lady Mi's chest as his body slid along after it, until he bumped into Yue Jin.
Oho... General Yue Jin, as expected, doesn't so much as twitch.
Yue Jin, as unshakeable in peacetime as he was on the battlefield, kept his small frame ramrod-straight, arms folded, watching the two ladies with an expression of complete indifference.
"Well, well. One of them's packing some serious size. That's the first wife, I take it?" Xiahou Dun shoved Xu Chu aside and resettled himself. Xun Yu nodded.
"As you can see, the one with the enormous breasts is the first wife, Lady Mi. Early twenties. The other is Lady Gan, late twenties — not yet thirty. Neither has ever given birth. We haven't finished analyzing their measurements or their points of attack, but they don't appear to have a great deal of experience."
"You don't need an analysis. That size speaks for itself." Xiahou Dun smacked his lips.
"That Liu Bei bastard's got an eye for women, I'll give him that. Sucking and chewing on tits like that every day... you'd never get tired of them."
"Lady Gan's ass is quite something as well. Her body looks remarkably firm... isn't that more your type, Lord Xu Chu?" Man Chong asked. Xu Chu shook his head.
"Even a guy like me who loves ass can't ignore a chest like that. They're insane! I couldn't even get my whole hand around one..." Xu Chu clenched and unclenched his rock-like fist.
"I'd love to squeeze them till they burst."
"I want to suck on them," Yu Jin said in a hollow voice.
"Can't we have Hua Tuo modify them so they produce milk? Lord Xun Yu, give those to us."
The generals' eager gazes all converged on Xun Yu. As if the weight of those stares was too much, he shrugged.
"Gentlemen, as you all know... which of the two His Lordship will assign to the generals — or whether he'll take both for himself — is a matter for Lord Cao Cao to decide."
The rule in Cao Cao's army was that any woman Cao Cao himself did not choose would be passed around among the officers. If Cao Cao took a liking to Lady Mi, the generals would never get their chance with her.
Of course, Cao Cao did sometimes hand women off to his officers once he'd grown bored of them. But those women, having served him so intensively and at such close quarters, were worn down to the nub and thoroughly remade to his tastes.
The only way to taste Lady Mi while she was still as fresh as sashimi — that innocent, almost naive expression on her face even as those violently massive breasts swayed — was if Cao Cao did not choose her for himself.
"Lord Cao Cao, please... give us Lady Mi... give us Lady Mi...!"
That was why Yu Jin, the breast maniac, had even started praying.
Unlike the restless, fidgeting generals, strategists like Xun You and Cheng Yu looked distinctly uninterested.
"Don't get your hopes up too high. You know how Lord Cao Cao is about married women... there's a very real chance he'll take both of them."
Xun Yu's attempt at consolation was met with a sneer from Xiahou Dun.
"Hey, Lord Xun Yu — you're going to fuck both of them yourself when you do your little 'analysis' later, aren't you?"
Xun Yu, the talent appraiser, was the only man in Cao Cao's army who slept with every single person who surrendered.
"Well... that is my job, after all."
Xun Yu said it with an awkward little laugh, and every other general clutched his head. Li Dian stamped his feet.
"Augh, Lord Xun Yu, you lucky bastard! You get to have both of them! I'm so jealous!"
When the ladies' bodies sank into the bath, the generals' excitement subsided just a little.
The wine cups grew busier instead. Xiahou Dun downed a gulp of wine equal to the water that overflowed the moment Lady Mi's breasts entered the tub.
The two ladies' naked bodies and the vivid scene of their bath made the finest appetizer imaginable.
Everyone was drinking so fast their faces flushed red. They emptied every last drop of the wine they'd brought before the bath was even over.
"Damn it, we didn't bring enough." Xu Chu smacked his lips. "I never thought they'd be this high-grade..."
"But that Liu Bei bastard's been married for years — why doesn't he have any kids yet? If it were me, I'd have both of them pregnant by now. You think he's a eunuch or something?" Li Dian asked, licking his empty cup as if there still wasn't enough wine.
"I heard it from Guan Yu a while back. Apparently Liu Bei's army has a tradition of bukkake." Xiahou Dun set down his empty cup.
"What? Bukkake? You mean... spraying it on a woman's body?"
"That's right. Bukkake. Those Liu Bei bastards can never put down roots anywhere, so if a woman gets pregnant it's hard to run. They all just agreed not to have kids. They always finish outside."
Xu Chu's expression sobered as if the wine had worn off.
"What kind of idiot does that? So they always pull out halfway through?"
"How the hell would I know! That's what I was told, so that's what I'm telling you! You think I've sat around watching those Liu Bei bastards fuck?!"
Xiahou Dun bristled. Xu Chu scratched the back of his head.
"Well, you were talking about it like you'd seen it..."
"Anyway, Liu Bei doesn't have kids, and neither do Guan Yu or Zhang Fei. Even if they did, they couldn't raise them properly, and if their wives and children got captured like this they'd just become hostages. That's why they don't have them."
Yue Jin spoke up for the first time in a while.
"...Then we'd be the first ones to come inside them."
The generals looked through the glass at the ladies with a sudden, renewed appetite. Not only Lady Mi with her enormous breasts, but Lady Gan's healthy body as well — both were premium fare that had never once carried a man's seed. These were generals who had held countless women in their arms, but women like these could only register as a rare delicacy.
"That's right... that's exactly it. So keep watching, gentlemen. Right now... our operational targets have just started drinking the medicinal tea."
The two ladies Xun Yu pointed to were happily sipping the tea Lady Zou had offered them.
The tea Lady Zou had offered the two ladies was, of course, no ordinary tea. It was certainly not a gift from the Emperor.
It was a drug painstakingly developed by Cao Cao's pharmaceutical division, under the direction of Hua Tuo, the greatest physician on the continent. Made from the finest mulberry leaves produced in the northern lands, combined with the highly refined bodily fluids of venomous snakes and insects specially imported from the jungles of Nanman — it was known as Water Philopon.
Originally developed as a sleeping draught to lure and capture key enemy personnel, it had been found to produce an unexpectedly powerful aphrodisiac effect exclusively in women, and was now being used on female captives.
It was not authorized for removal from the compound, but rumors persisted that Cao Cao's officers, grown bored in long marriages, would occasionally sneak some out and slip it into their wives' evening meals. And a far greater number of Cao Cao's officers were known to slip Water Philopon into the wine cups of women who were not their wives.
"How long until it kicks in? I'm ready for the main event."
"Just wait. Lady Zou is... yes, she's just flipped the hourglass."
The hourglass Lady Zou had turned was not merely a tool for timing the bath, either. Water Philopon required the time of two hourglass turns to be absorbed into the body and take effect. Lady Zou was measuring the timing until both ladies were thoroughly intoxicated by the Water Philopon...
And without the slightest idea, Lady Gan and Lady Mi had just cheerfully drained their teacups, as if the tea had been delicious.
"They're drinking it like it's good. No idea they're about to get fucked."
"That's what makes it fun. Ah, a huge-titted married woman bathing without a clue in the world — it doesn't get better than this."
"I really want to wreck them. They strip when they're told to strip, they drink when they're told to drink — complete airheads."
Just then, Lady Gan could be seen saying something to Lady Zou.
"Lord Xun You, what's she saying?"
The generals asked, and Xun You pressed his fingers to his temple again. "Heh heh... she's telling Lady Zou that after last night with Guan Yu... well, her lower half must be quite sore, so she should come into the bath."
Roars of laughter erupted among Cao Cao's men.
"Pffhahaha! That's a masterpiece! Did that Lady Zou bitch get caught fucking Guan Yu last night?"
"So it wasn't just a failure, haha. She must've gotten a full view of herself getting speared on Guan Yu's cock."
"I told you, that bearded bastard's thing is more than most women can take. I saw it when we were bathing once. It's ridiculously huge. If Lady Zou couldn't handle it, there's barely a woman in Xuchang who could."
At the end of that thought, Xiahou Dun considered that there was still one woman who might be up to the task.
"So they're so sweet-natured they'd even be kind to the woman who's prepping them to get fucked... that's something else... this is dangerous. I'm getting painfully hard." Xu Chu gripped the stiff cock standing at attention through his pants.
"Same here. I can barely hold it in." Man Chong cracked his knuckles in agreement.
Just then, Lady Zou flipped the hourglass for the third time.
Xun Yu quietly shot Xu Chu a look.
"Hup! General Xiahou Dun, stay right there!"
"Urgh? What the hell are you bastards doing?!"
Xu Chu and Yu Jin seized Xiahou Dun from both sides, locking his arms. There was no way Xiahou Dun could overpower the two of them in raw strength; he couldn't move an inch.
The fact that they had restrained Xiahou Dun could mean only one thing... new players were about to take the stage.
"No!"
Leaving Xiahou Dun's futile cry behind, Xun Yu introduced the newcomers.
To a thunderous round of applause, Cao Hong with his hair in a bun and Xiahou Yuan with her ponytail appeared in the bathhouse, dressed in white attendant's robes.