Why Can't I, Amael, Be Happy?!
Why Can't I, Amael, Be Happy?!
After the matter with Iomene was settled, I left the imperial palace and went straight to find Erpa.
This was my first visit since the Evil God fragment incident, what with the investigations and the reporters chasing me.
"The witch Erpa......."
"I'll guide you there at once!!"
Ever since I'd committed the act of detonating the Evil God fragment right in front of everyone at the imperial palace, the very expressions with which everyone looked at me had changed.
I was able to arrive in front of Erpa's lab like a bullet.
"Erpa? It's Amael."
When I knocked carefully twice, a brief clattering sound came from inside, then the door cracked open.
"P-Please come in."
Erpa, her hair a little disheveled, perhaps from hastily tidying the room, greeted me. I gave her a gentle smile.
"I'm sorry for coming by so late. I've had such a great deal of things to deal with......"
Truthfully, even today, I wouldn't have made it here had I not ridden in the limousine His Majesty granted.
The crowds would have made it impossible to take a single step.
At my words, Erpa opened the door fully and gestured for me to enter.
I stepped inside her lab.
Now that I thought about it, this seemed to be my first time inside Erpa's lab itself.
"Wh-What brings you......"
"Though I feel it's far too late to ask, you weren't injured anywhere, were you?"
Erpa nodded at my question.
I could see her four hands, with nowhere to go, wandering aimlessly about.
She must have been very embarrassed.
"I'm relieved. That you weren't hurt. I'd heard that being struck by a curse could cause severe injury. You must stay healthy."
"O-Of course! I don't do things that would get me hurt. I'm fine. You were far more remarkable, Saint. After all, you returned from the source of the curses without a single injury......"
"Ha ha. It was nothing remarkable."
"Yes......"
The conversation died.
Erpa was fiddling with her hair, and a melancholy feeling kept me from finding words.
She was pretty.
Some might say she was a little grotesque because of the four arms, but to me, she was completely acceptable.
If it were up to me, I'd want to make it an established fact at once.
But for her sake, not mine, I had to hold back my feelings.
I wanted Erpa to be happy.
I didn't want her to fall to pieces beside a man like me, whose ruin was foreordained.
I pressed my feelings down as hard as I could.
I'd secured the secret funds.
What remained was a way to deal with the tracking miracle and a way to use Time Stop more efficiently.
The reason I'd come to the Magic Tower was to look into a way to use Time Stop more efficiently.
"Actually, Erpa. I came because I have a request."
"Yes! Anything!"
Her eyes filled with anticipation.
I was sorry.
Because I was in no position to return her feelings.
"I'd like to meet with an expert on time magic. Would there happen to be such a mage at the Mars Mage Tower branch?"
A hint of disappointment crossed Erpa's face at my words.
"Magic Tower Master Oergen is a specialist in time magic. He wrote his dissertation in that field to become the Magic Tower Master. I am certain he would not refuse if you wished to meet him, Saint."
"Thank you, Erpa. Then I'll take my leave and go see the Magic Tower Master."
"Ah!! Saint!"
Erpa caught my hand.
"By any chance....... nothing happened between you and Princess Iomene, did it?"
So she had been keeping it in her heart after all.
I shook my head.
It was true that Iomene liked me. But considering the princess's current mental age, wasn't it less a romantic attraction, and more of a position akin to a trustworthy person?
Furthermore, even if the princess did have feelings for me, I had no desire to move into a romantic relationship with her.
Even just with Erpa, it was this painful.
I had absolutely no intention of increasing the number of women I had a thing with.
"It was nothing. I merely played the role of looking after the mentally unstable princess at her side. Nothing more, nothing less."
Erpa looked at me with a relieved face.
"I see. I'm sorry... for asking such a strange thing."
Blushing, Erpa gave a bright smile.
To think I had to leave a woman like this behind before long.
"Erpa. Regardless of whether I am here or not, always live for yourself. You must be healthy and happy in your own right."
"Of course!"
I nodded.
Erpa approached me, held my face, and gave me a light kiss.
I grew even sadder.
"See you again! Saint!"
At those words, I suppressed my sorrow as much as possible and smiled back at her.
***
"Saint. This is the first time since I saw you at the Heresy Inquisitor's office. Ha ha!"
Magic Tower Master Oergen looked no different from when I'd seen him at the Pantheon's heresy tribunal.
A portly build, a long white beard.
A character with a quintessential wizardly feel.
I hadn't even needed to go looking for him.
Because the moment I stepped out of Erpa's lab, the Magic Tower Master was already waiting for me.
"I hadn't imagined you would wish to see me, Saint! Might you be seeking magical advice concerning Her Highness's treatment?"
"No. I wished to meet with you because I had something to ask about time magic."
The Magic Tower Master burst into laughter at my words.
"Ha ha ha!! Time magic!! That is my specialty. Well. I never imagined the Saint would inquire about time magic."
A saint and time magic.
It certainly was a subject matter that seemed to lack any connection.
But I was a saint, wasn't I?
"There is a necessary reason for it."
A roughly delivered single phrase was generally enough to gloss over anything.
As expected, the Magic Tower Master smiled and nodded.
"In that case, I must inform you! What is it about time magic you wish to know?"
At last!
I carefully posed my question.
"When using time magic, is the mental energy consumption, by chance, immense?"
"You know the matter quite precisely, don't you? Correct. While the mana consumption itself is ordinary, it is a field of magic with an immense consumption of mental energy. For that reason, a technique that stops time within a confined space is often used. More so than for practical use, it's frequently utilized for experimental purposes."
"I see. By chance, how do mages handle that immense mental energy consumed when using the magic? Is there a special training method or technique?"
Magic Tower Master Oergen shook his head.
"Time is, in the first place, a subject far too abstruse for the human mind to comprehend. So, rather than mental energy training, methods that reduce mental energy consumption through artifacts or items are frequently used."
That was intriguing.
"What sort of items are used?"
"Something like a psychic amplifier made from magic crystals is primarily used."
"Are they items one can personally carry around?"
"Impossible. As they are experimental equipment, the objects have had any portability-related features boldly removed, making them enormously large."
Damn it.
So that meant they were objects I couldn't use?
What was I supposed to do.......
The moment a sigh seemed about to escape me.
"Of course, a psychic amplifier of a size that an individual can carry does exist."
Magic Tower Master Oergen said something enticing.
"What kind of object is it?"
"The horn of a unicorn is the most powerful psychic amplifier in existence. With that alone, one can fabricate a portable psychic amplifier."
A unicorn's horn??
Even at a single hearing, it didn't sound like an object commonly rolling around on the roadside.
"Might there be a way to acquire a horn?"
"The unicorn is a creature of extremely vicious hunting difficulty. Using its horn, a powerful psychic amplifier, it applies mental manipulation as easily as breathing, which means even well-trained mages or hunters cannot easily capture it. Therefore, the quantity circulated on the market is exceedingly small."
Ah.......
Was there no way to acquire one?
"Thus, while our Magic Tower also does not possess a large quantity of them, is a horn strictly necessary? There is an already fabricated, individually portable psychic amplifier. If you wish, I will give it to you."
My eyes flew open at those words.
"Would that truly be all right?"
"Of course. I have heard that you provided elixir free of charge and raised research funds, granting convenience so mages and witches could conduct research in greater comfort. On top of that, what would one begrudge the person who saved the empire? It would surely be more useful in your hands, Saint, than with an old man like me."
Magic Tower Master Oergen took a locket-shaped necklace from a drawer and showed it to me.
"It is an object I fabricated for research in my youth. As I never actually used it and merely kept it as a memento, some repairs and tuning here and there will be needed before it can be used. It seems it will take about a week. I shall hand it over to you immediately after that."
A savior!! A true savior!!
"Thank you, Magic Tower Master."
"Think nothing of it. By your leave, might I occasionally visit the Magic Tower Temple to study your healing activities, Saint? I find a desire rising within me to magically interpret your miracles."
I was going to go underground soon anyway.
At least until then, I ought to let him do as he wished.
Given he was giving me such a precious thing.
"Of course. Please come whenever it is convenient."
"Thank you."
With that as the final matter, I left the Magic Tower.
When I returned to the Magic Tower Temple in His Majesty's limousine, the Royal Guard Knights and court mages, along with the White Order's priests and holy knights, were stationed all throughout the temple interior.
And at the center of it all stood the members of the imperial family.
"Have you come already?"
As I ran over in surprise, Iomene sprang from the empress's embrace like a coil and threw herself into my arms.
"Good!!"
Yes. Yes.
You little cat-like thing.
I stroked Iomene's hair, and His Majesty watched the scene with satisfaction.
"Iomene wished to see the Saint even a day sooner, so we hurried over. For the next two days. I entrust her to your care."
"Of course. I shall assist at Her Highness's side as much as possible until the procedure."
The empress approached me and carefully took my hand.
"Truly, thank you, Saint. Truly, to a degree difficult to express entirely in words......."
"It is nothing, Your Majesty. You need not speak so formally."
But no such thing occurred.
The empress, the emperor, and Princess Almene all continued expressing their exceedingly deep gratitude toward me until they departed.
And only after all that was I finally left alone with Iomene.
Iomene, like a cat, was stuck fast to my side, purring away.
"Good!! Good!!"
I stroked the head of Iomene, who was clinging to me and constantly rubbing her face against me.
"Now together!! Sleep together?"
"No. We can't sleep together."
"Because not married?"
I smiled at the pure, child-like question.
I took her to the room.
The White Order's holy knights and the Royal Guard Knights who remained to escort her left the room on their own and began standing guard outside.
Once only the two of us remained in the room, I gave her cookies and snacks, but she didn't so much as glance at them.
"Sleep together! Sleep together! Marriage! Marriage!!"
At her throwing a tantrum, I shook my head gloomily.
Since Iomene's mental age was like that of a young child, how should I put it.
Words came out of me frankly before I knew it.
"If you stay by my side, Iomene, you'll get hurt."
"Won't get hurt. Got better."
"For now, perhaps. But later on. When later comes, you'll get hurt. Iomene. So, once the treatment is over, you must not lean on me any longer. You have to live diligently and wonderfully by your own strength. All right?"
"No!! No!! Like Saint!! Like! Marriage! Marriage!!"
Seeing her throw herself at me and cling tight, I felt sorrow well up.
"I'm sorry. Iomene. I'm sorry."
Why, when there were so many women who liked me, was it impossible to live happily with them?
Why did I have to leave?
I wanted to be happy with Erpa.
I genuinely wanted to just live ordinarily, acting as a saint in this place.
But I couldn't.
To prevent the people who loved me, not myself, from getting hurt, I had to leave.
"I'm sorry, Iomene."
My emotions intensified before I knew it, and I began to cry.
Seeing my tears, Iomene seemed startled.
"Don't cry. Don't cry."
Flustered, she held me in return.
That child-like purity made the tears come even more pointlessly.
That day in particular, oddly enough.
It was a day I resented and hated the goddess more than ever.