Chapter 79: Hot Spring(1)
Chapter 79: Hot Spring(1)
“Alright. We can tell Lady Undine you’re here. But first, we have to check the color of your souls! We can’t let bad people meet Lady Undine, after all.”
The spirits crossed their arms. It was a rather arrogant pose, but because they looked so adorable, it just came off as cute.
“Let’s start with this woman.”
“Just look us in the eyes. That’s all you have to do.”
Lina nodded.
The spirits came and stood before Lina, staring intently into her eyes.
As they gazed into her eyes, the spirits began to exclaim in admiration.
“Wow… no way.”
“I’ve never seen a soul this pure!”
“I think I’m falling for her. What do I do?”
“Alright! You pass. You can meet Lady Undine anytime. More importantly, will you be my friend?”
Lina passed with incredible ease.
Not only that, but she was now in the awkward position of receiving the spirits’ endless courtship.
“The rest of you can relax and take the test as well,” Lina said confidently, as if she didn’t have a single doubt that we would all pass.
Kerry, however, was actually a little anxious. He’d already had a bad experience with this sort of thing.
That bitch of a goddess… she looked inside me and threw a damn fit, too.
Just thinking about all the trouble he’d gone through in this world because of that still made his blood boil. Though he had managed to vent some of that righteous fury with a few well-aimed insults.
“You’re next.”
The spirits approached the grandmother.
For creatures that looked so young to be addressing her so informally. Then again, though their faces were youthful, there was no telling how old the spirits actually were.
The spirits stared intently into the grandmother’s eyes as well, as if peering deep inside her pupils.
“Hmm. Unremarkable. You pass.”
The grandmother passed, too.
She maintained an indifferent attitude, as if she couldn’t care less whether she passed or not.
Who was next?
“You’re next!”
The spirits pointed at Victoria. She was brimming with confidence.
“Huhu. Be careful not to fall for my noble spirit.”
Kerry shook his head. He was worried whether the lewd Victoria could actually pass.
If Victoria didn’t pass, Kerry was planning to refuse the inspection without a moment’s hesitation. He didn’t want a repeat of what happened with the goddess.
The spirits gazed intently into Victoria’s eyes.
“Hrmmmmm.”
“Ummmm! This is borderline!”
“That can’t be. Look again, more carefully. It is rare to find one with a soul as beautiful as mine.”
“Hmm… well, you’re not a bad person! Pass!”
Despite having passed, Victoria looked a little shocked. It seemed she had expected to receive the same fervent praise as Lina, only to barely scrape by.
Frankly, from Kerry’s perspective, it was a miracle Victoria had passed at all.
…So Victoria passed?
Then I have nothing to worry about, right?
Kerry knew Victoria’s lewdness better than anyone. When she had proclaimed her nobility to the spirits, he’d almost let out an accidental snort of laughter.
The spirits looked at Kerry, the last one remaining. Natasha was being carried on his back.
Bring it on. I’m not scared. Victoria passed, so I’m golden!
“Is it my turn?”
“No! We want to see the woman on your back first!”
Fine by me. But Natasha was asleep; would that be okay?
Amusingly, the spirits lifted Natasha’s eyelids to look into her eyes.
Was that even allowed?
After checking Natasha’s eyes, the spirits let out small gasps of wonder.
“Wow. This woman is truly full of love!”
“It’s true. In a different way, she’s just as amazing as the blonde woman.”
“Are you this woman’s boyfriend? You’re lucky. You better treat your girlfriend well.”
Kerry nodded. Natasha did have a lot of love to give. He could admit that.
Now, the only person left was Kerry.
“Last one is the man.”
The spirits seemed to be relaxing after the successive passes. The atmosphere was one where passing was taken for granted.
Lina was smiling fondly from over there, as if to say there was no way he’d have any problems. Of course, Kerry believed in himself, too.
Victoria passed. It makes no sense for me to fail.
“Spirits, will you look into my eyes now? We need to get inside quickly.”
“Okay.”
“Such an impatient man.”
The spirits approached Kerry.
Just as they had with the others, they began to stare intently into his eyes.
It was then.
One of the spirits suddenly screamed.
“Kyaaak!”
The small, delicate spirit’s face turned bright red as it stumbled backward. Then it ran and hid behind Lina.
“What’s with her?”
“I don’t know. She’s always been a drama queen.”
Even the other spirits were confused. It must be some kind of misunderstanding. Kerry wanted to believe so.
Then, another spirit looking into Kerry’s eyes screamed.
“Gah! What is this?!”
Another spirit, its face as red as a ripe persimmon, fled. Something was wrong.
This made no sense. This was impossible.
“Kyaa! No way!”
“Oh, my, my, my!”
Every spirit that looked into my eyes turned beet red and ran to hide behind Lina. Of all the places to run, why behind Lina?
Lina was flustered, too.
Before things could get any worse, Kerry closed his eyes, preventing any more spirits from looking into them.
The spirits glared at Kerry, their faces flushed as if they’d been subjected to some outrageous sexual harassment.
I didn’t do anything.
Kerry even raised both hands as if to plead his innocence. Your Honor, I am truly not at fault.
Lina, her face now bright red, asked the spirits who had fled.
“What is the matter?”
“That… that man’s soul!”
“His soul?”
“It’s too lewd!”
“?”
Kerry was dumbfounded.
But what was even more dumbfounding was Victoria’s reaction upon hearing the spirit’s claim that his soul was lewd.
Victoria was nodding her head as if she completely understood and agreed with the spirits.
How was this possible? That lewd Victoria passed, so why was I getting stuck here?
He was already sensitive about this kind of thing after getting burned by the goddess!
It was so unfair it made him furious. Especially the fact that Victoria had passed!
Just then, Lina began to gently placate the spirits.
She was whispering something to them, but the spirits were still glaring at Kerry as if he were some colossal pervert. Your Honor, I’m being framed. This is a gross miscarriage of justice.
He didn’t know what Lina had discussed with the spirits.
But thanks to her, Kerry was able to enter the cave.
Lina smiled as if it were no big deal and said, “Sir Kerry, please don’t take it to heart. Just think of it as a cute little prank by the spirits.”
“It wasn’t cute at all.”
Lina would never know how hurt he was by the looks those spirits gave him.
“Kerry, from now on, you should try to think pure thoughts on a daily basis, like me. Huhu.”
Honestly, Victoria’s attitude was more infuriating than failing the spirits’ test!
Even a lewd noble whose head was filled with nothing but obscene thoughts every day had passed! Why did he have to suffer this humiliation?
In any case, perhaps thanks to Lina’s smooth talking, the spirits permitted Kerry to enter.
“It’s lewd… but it’s not an evil soul. So we’ll let you in.”
“Yes, yes. I’ll vouch for Sir Kerry. Please trust me.”
Still, Lina trusts me to the very end.
A wave of emotion washed over him at the unwavering trust in Lina’s eyes. His loyalty hadn’t been in vain after all.
“We’re here! This is where Lady Undine is.”
“Hey, you, lewd man! Don’t even think about trying anything funny with Lady Undine, or we won’t forgive you!”
“Who are you calling a lewd man?”
“Huhuhut. The spirits really are an excellent judge of character.”
“Victoria, did you leave your conscience at home?”
The party arrived at a pool of water.
It was a pool inside the cave, but it wasn’t filled with smelly, stagnant water; it was a pool of mysteriously clear water.
“Where is this Undine?”
The moment he said it.
The water in the pool suddenly shot up into the air and began to take the form of a woman. A perfectly beautiful woman with long, flowing hair and a classic hourglass figure.
“I am Undine.”
The water, now in the shape of a woman, spoke.
She was, as a matter of course, naked, but thankfully, her female anatomy wasn’t explicitly detailed, so it wasn’t particularly erotic. Besides, her body was made of water anyway.
“Lady Undine, my name is Lina Knightly. I have come, at the risk of being rude, because I have a favor to ask of you.”
Lina began her lengthy explanation, telling her that a companion was ill and needed the hot spring imbued with Undine’s power.
Undine, who had been listening quietly, spoke.
“Lina Knightly… My children have indeed mentioned that name a few times. The hero chosen by the Goddess Elena… Are you she?”
“Yes, I am.”
“…Indeed, I can feel a dignity befitting a hero. How splendid.”
Undine also showered Lina with praise. He was jealous. He wished the spirits would have doted on him, too.
“More importantly… Lady Undine, my companion…”
“Yes, you said your companion is ill. The one being carried by the man, I presume. Oh my… what a dreadful poison. I will help you at once.”
Natasha’s body, which had been on Kerry’s back, began to float. Kerry carefully let her go.
Natasha flew away, still unconscious, and disappeared somewhere.
Just then, Lina started fumbling through her pockets. She then took out her coin purse.
Lina handed Undine a single gold coin. She’s a spirit and she takes money? Is this for real?
“Here you are. She is a precious companion, so please take good care of her.”
“Of course. Do not worry, customer.”
Undine’s benevolent face suddenly started to look like one jaded by capitalism.
Then, a small spirit approached Undine.
“I have something to report, Lady Undine!”
It was one of the spirits that had looked into Kerry’s eyes.
The way the little brat kept glancing at him while whispering in her ear was seriously rubbing him the wrong way.
“Is that really true? What on earth is it like… Ahem! I do not mean to doubt the hero’s companion, but would it be alright if I, too, checked the man’s soul color?”
“…I’m sorry, but if I have to listen to more strange accusations, I’d rather not.”
“Ah, it seems my children were rude to you first. I apologize. I have taught them that it is impolite to speak of another’s soul color. You all. Apologize at once.”
At Undine’s words, the small spirits apologized with disgruntled expressions.
You little brats. I’ll let it slide just this once, because you’re cute. Just try saying something weird again.
“Then, may I also take a brief… look?”
“…Yes.”
Undine gazed into Kerry’s eyes.
As she met his gaze, Undine gasped in surprise.
“Oh my!”
“I knew it.”
“No… that’s… I’m sorry. I was just so surprised… But I am relieved it is not an evil soul. Though that is to be expected of a hero’s companion.”
Undine’s face, which had looked into Kerry’s soul, was flushed red. Even though it was a face made of water.
“Then, the rest of you, please rest as well. How about enjoying the hot spring together?”
“!”
Kerry’s mood improved dramatically at Undine’s words. Right. There was another reason I came here.
He had suffered quite the humiliation, but if this was his reward, he could endure it all.
Undine guided Lina’s party to the hot spring.
It was in a different direction from where Natasha had flown, so it seemed there was a separate spring for recreational use.
It wasn’t a long walk.
Before Kerry’s eyes appeared a natural hot spring, with white steam literally billowing from it.
A natural hot spring in a cave. It had quite the atmosphere.
Kerry looked around.
No matter how hard he looked, he could only see this one bath.
Could it be… could it be… that the spirits’ hot spring had no division between men and women?!
Then again, gender was merely a human distinction. For spirits, there was no male or female.
Hooray for this new world!
Fireworks and fanfares exploded in Kerry’s mind.
But his joy was short-lived.
“If you don’t mind, Sir Kerry, would you like to use the hot spring first?”
“Pardon?”
Kerry, who had been eagerly anticipating some mixed bathing, was taken aback. But it was to be expected. There was no way the iron-walled Lina would easily permit something like mixed bathing in a hot spring.
He felt as if he had just been given the entire world, only to have it snatched away.
“W-well, yes… men and women… can’t enter the same bath, after all.”
“Yes. Of course.”
“I don’t mind getting in with Kerry.”
“That is not acceptable, Victoria.”
“Don’t you feel sorry for Kerry, having to go in all by himself?”
The situation was so dire that Lina was even lecturing and stopping Victoria, who had offered to go in with him.
His world went dark.
At this rate, he was doomed to enjoy the hot spring in lonely solitude. That was no good. A solo hot spring is not a happy hot spring!
It was then.
Someone tapped him on the shoulder from behind. He turned to see Undine with her capitalism-jaded expression.
Undine opened her hand, revealing letters. They were letters made of water.
[How much will you give me to help you bathe with the ladies? As a side note, you can also select mixed-bathing gowns. The more you pay, the shorter the gowns get!]
Undine was making an offer he could never have imagined.
No matter how absurd this new world was, this was the first time he’d seen a spirit so crazy for money.
When Kerry shook his hefty coin purse, the corners of Undine’s mouth curled high.