Chicken Mukbang (2)
Returning to my seat with the chicken in hand, the Jireongis were buzzing with excitement. Smiling contentedly, I asked quietly, "I put my earphones on and stepped away... Do you really like me that much?" Then I brought up the earlier story about raising your hand if you liked snakes.
The chat exploded again. Watching the flood of messages, I sent a little finger heart and whispered, "...I love you too."
"...Ahem, no. I might die giving birth."
The chat, which had started as a joke, suddenly turned serious. Watching the Jireongis apologize and tell me not to cry, I smiled gently.
'...With people like this around, what was I even thinking?'
Just because Dad showed up, I was ready to die. I felt genuinely ashamed of my past self. With people like this, where could I possibly go?
"...It was a joke. Thank you for liking me."
As I spoke, I kept scratching at the tape with my fingernail.
"Well, it's not that I don't want a baby... but I don't particularly want one either, so maybe I'll just live without. Marriage seems like it would be exhausting in all sorts of ways."
It would be hard on me, hard on my partner, and hardest of all on the child. Growing up under a mother with attachment issues would be painful. More than anything, I no longer had the confidence to take responsibility for raising something.
"...I've already burned that part of me to ashes... Ugh, why won't this come off......"
While I puffed out my cheeks in mild annoyance, the viewers filled the chat calling me cute. I carefully picked up the utility knife beside me and covered the blade with my hand before showing it to the camera.
"...Teacher, l-let me borrow your strength... Just for a second."
"...I've never cut anything except my own flesh......"
It was true. Ever since I'd bought the utility knife in a trance, I'd only ever used it on myself. There had never been anything else to cut, and even if there had been, I couldn't risk using it elsewhere and reopening old wounds.
"I can't use it to cut other things... because it's a noble one... Just a second, let me aim......"
I extended the blade precisely toward the gleaming tape. It caught with a soft click.
—Slice!
"Got it, hehe."
"Why are you crying again... It feels like you cry more than I do... It's enough if I'm the only one who's sad... You all just laugh and wait for me."
The chat went wild with emotion. Staring blankly at it for a moment, I smiled and opened the chicken. Steam rose from the soy sauce chicken inside.
"Whoa......"
The smell filled the room. It smelled genuinely delicious.
"I love this......"
The heavenly aroma made my head spin.
"Ah, my anemia's been fine lately... Hehe......"
I went on about my health. Of course, I hadn't actually gotten a checkup yet. But after meeting Mom and eating plenty of sundae and meat recently, the symptoms had mostly subsided.
"Mom... works at a gukbap restaurant... so I've been eating a lot of sundae lately, hehe... Though you never know, I might still collapse that day."
"Well... my meals aren't exactly regular, so it's random, but I think I used to collapse every time... from what I remember."
Yeon-a even verified it with a donation. I waved happily and briefly shared a story from back then.
"I collapsed once at school too... I was working a lot and couldn't eat properly... Um, yeah, I passed out......"
"Last time when they checked my legs, something came up... but I'm healthy otherwise."
Surprisingly, there weren't any major issues. My leg nerves were slightly damaged, which was why I hadn't done a full checkup.
"Should we use the health checkup as content next time......"
The Jireongis kept sharing gloomy stories. I puffed out my cheeks again and stood up, saying I'd go get gloves.
"Um... I'll bring the gloves, so stay quiet. C-calm down... I don't want to talk about depressing things anymore......"
"...I won't turn it off."
After saying that, I stepped away from the cam, grabbed the plastic gloves, and came back. Now it was time for the real meal.
"...Alright, I'll eat well...!"
"Why would you hit it...! No!"
I immediately lifted my leg and showed it off to the camera. It was my proud first catch.
"This... will taste good...! Eugh... drool."
The Jireongis just kept calling me cute. Ignoring them, I excitedly wiggled my body and tore into the chicken leg. Wildly, like a lion or tiger.
"Waaang...!"
With one big bite, the rich flavor of oil, meat, and salty-sweet soy sauce filled my mouth. The umami exploded across my tongue. I took two, three more bites, feeling like the king of beasts.
'Ah... heaven.'
That thought crossed my mind as I pulled the chicken away from my mouth. The chat went wild.
I answered with satisfaction, "I'm a beast...!"
A beast, I said. The chat went even crazier.
Even Yeon-a wasn't an exception—she donated while laughing like crazy. Wondering if it was an impersonator, I checked the ID.
'...It's really Yeon-a... Why, why is she laughing.'
It really was Yeon-a. Laughing like mad. I could only fill my head with questions as I watched her.
"I'm going to drink some cola......"
Noticing my deflated tone, people mentioned it. I said I didn't know and brought the cola close to the mic after opening it.
"Eh... you want to hear it...? Hmm... the mic's right here."
People begged me to do it. "Then... I'll eat, brush my teeth, and come back to do it for you."
The Jireongis chuckled at that. I muttered quietly while watching them.
"...Still, I've raised two kids though."
It was the kind of statement that could be very misunderstood if someone overheard.