Chapter 3
Chapter 3
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: It's Not a Self-Deprecating Stream
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“You should try playing the game once.”
A woman with soft brown hair and a puppy-like face.
Psychologist Shin Ara fed me a cupcake as she spoke.
I accepted the cupcake on impulse and stared at her in response.
In short, I openly showed the expression, “Are you crazy?”
“O-Of course, I understand that it’s scary! But wouldn’t it be better to give it a try for your treatment?”
“To confront my trauma?”
“Exactly. Victoria’s trauma started when you got possessed in the game, right? If you can just distinguish between the game and reality, your condition will definitely improve.”
“You mean I should treat those four years on the Eastern Front as just a game?”
“Ah, no! I’m not saying we should dismiss your dedication and efforts as mere gameplay. I just mean you shouldn’t view the reality you’re living in now and the reality inside the game as the same thing. I’m sorry if my words upset you.”
“......It’s fine. I’m the one who should apologize.”
Playing the game again to clearly separate nightmares from reality.
If it went as expected, it might not be a bad method.
After all, I was in a situation where I doubted whether this place was truly reality.
As Shin Ara said, my mind couldn’t distinguish between game and reality at all.
However, the biggest problem was still fear.
If, by some slim chance, I got trapped in the game world again, I wouldn’t last even a moment before going insane.
“What if I get possessed again? What if I can never return to reality?”
“I’ll watch over you. If anything happens, I’ll force you back, so don’t worry.”
“Forced logouts are bad for your brain, you know.”
“I-Is that so? Then I’ll call a technician to log you out safely.”
“......”
Complex emotions stirred at the sight of Shin Ara answering so confidently.
In summary, she was telling me to head to the battlefield without worry because she’d be my safety net.
At this point, I couldn’t tell if she was looking out for me or tormenting me.
They say excessive kindness becomes a burden, and Shin Ara’s gentleness was exactly that.
But I couldn’t just ignore her suggestion outright.
Living cooped up in this room, day after day in nightmares, might be worse than giving up everything and dying.
“Sigh... Fine. I’ll try it just once, as a test.”
“Yes! I’ll watch over you without even blinking!”
“That’s too much pressure. And speak casually. You’re older than me, after all.”
“Oh! Can I? Then you can call me unnie too, Victoria.”
“......Too much pressure.”
I shuddered at the word “unnie” and stood up.
Judging by Shin Ara’s reaction, she seemed determined to make me play the game, so I decided to try it in a fit of resignation.
Truth be told, I wasn’t without expectations.
If her plan worked as intended, I might reclaim the everyday life I’d dreamed of.
‘If I get possessed again, I’ll just die.’
With that somewhat negative resolve, I approached the VR device.
The girl reflected on the pitch-black lid wore a dark expression from fear and tension.
To survive anywhere, anytime, I had to take a step forward.
Recalling the experience I’d learned on the battlefield, I opened the VR device’s lid.
“W-What is this...”
“Hm? Victoria? Is something wrong?”
“N-No! It’s nothing!”
But the moment I took that step, I had to freeze in place.
Because the moment I opened the lid, I was confronted with a shocking sight.
‘An incendiary grenade?’
Inside the recliner-style VR device sat a pot containing an incendiary grenade.
It had even fulfilled its purpose, burned completely white.
My mind blanked for a moment before I hurriedly slammed the VR device’s lid shut.
Then, I started making awkward excuses to Shin Ara, who was peeking from behind.
“Um, th-that... Couldn’t I play the game alone when no one’s around?”
“Huh? Then it’d be hard to help if something happened...”
“Th-Then I’ll give you the doorlock key. If I lose contact, you can come back then.”
“Victoria... You can’t just give your house key to anyone...”
“You’re not going to stalk me or anything, right? Sorry, but could you please leave for today...”
Shin Ara’s eyes narrowed at my sudden eviction order.
But even if it meant being rude, I had no choice but to chase her out.
After all, wasn’t there an incendiary grenade inside the sealed VR device?
Anyone who saw it would interpret it as “the old Victoria attempted suicide.”
The counseling couldn’t get more difficult because of something I didn’t do.
In the worst case, I could end up hospitalized in a mental ward, so I desperately wanted to hide this horror from Shin Ara.
“Is there some special reason?”
“Uh... Well... I realized that having someone watch me would be too embarrassing...”
“What’s embarrassing about it? I’m just going to watch, not do anything else...”
“W-What if I get so scared while playing that I wet myself? And I feel sorry for relying on you too much...”
“Oh... I see... I didn’t think of that. If that’s your worry, I guess there’s nothing to be done...”
Fortunately, Shin Ara didn’t cling stubbornly.
As expected of a psychologist, she knew how to respect her client’s feelings.
However, she couldn’t completely ignore me as her client.
After pondering with a serious expression for a moment, she clapped her hands as if struck by a good idea.
“Ah! How about doing a personal broadcast?”
“Huh? A broadcast?”
“Yeah. What Victoria wants is to be alone in the room while playing, right? But I can’t feel at ease without watching over you. If you stream, I can indirectly experience your trauma too, which will make counseling easier. Isn’t that killing two birds with one stone?”
“Killing two birds... Yeah. That sounds good. Let’s do that.”
It seemed like an impromptu idea, but it wasn’t bad.
No, in this situation, it was the perfect suggestion—almost too good to be true.
I nodded as if entranced and led Shin Ara to the front door.
I handed her the doorlock key I’d seen when opening the door earlier and bowed my head.
Now, unless I went with Shin Ara, I wouldn’t be able to leave the house.
After all, I didn’t know the doorlock password the old Victoria had set.
But that didn’t matter much.
I had no intention of going out until my PTSD improved anyway.
“Then, I’ll head out since it’s a shame. Promise to contact me when you start streaming? Otherwise, I might drop by unannounced because I’m worried.”
“Yeah. I’ll log in as soon as you leave.”
“It’s a promise. And could you keep today’s session confidential? A lot of people in mental health frown on therapists getting involved with games... In return, I won’t charge for the session. This is personal counseling.”
“There’s no one I’d tell anyway... Thank you for everything. Really.”
“Yep! Then I’m really leaving! There are cupcakes left, so eat them later!”
“Okay. Take this umbrella.”
“Hehe. Thanks. I’ll use it well.”
Shin Ara waved to me until the door closed.
Though today was our first meeting, she felt like someone I’d known for a long time.
She was truly a mysterious person who put my mind at ease just by being there.
Thanks to her, even the PTSD that had been plaguing me nonstop seemed a bit quieter.
‘For now, let’s get rid of that incendiary grenade.’
But I couldn’t help feeling depressed again soon after.
The traces left by the old Victoria carried an extraordinary weight.
As I took the pot out of the VR device and washed it, my mind naturally grew complicated.
I couldn’t help but realize what had happened to the Victoria who’d handed her body over to me.
‘She killed herself before I returned.’
She’d probably gotten inside the VR device with the lit incendiary grenade.
Then tried to end it all with carbon monoxide poisoning.
No wonder I’d felt like dying the moment I opened my eyes after returning.
It seemed I’d returned to reality at the exact moment of Victoria’s death.
‘I hope she went somewhere good.’
I wanted to pray for her soul and ease my mixed feelings.
But unfortunately, I had no spare energy to worry about the old Victoria.
‘I’m in no position to worry about others.’
After roughly finishing the cleaning, I sat in the VR device without delay.
If I hesitated here, I’d lose to fear and never move forward.
If I got possessed in the game again this time, the next suicide hopeful might be me.
Follow Victoria or succeed her. This challenge was a gamble with my life on the line.
[Starting new user update.]
A mechanical voice rang out over my pounding heartbeat.
I debated calling Shin Ara even now, but it was already too late.
Even though I’d squeezed my eyes shut, my vision began to clear.
Soon, even the faint smell of gunpowder faded, and virtual reality unfolded before me.
[Welcome to Another World, Universe.]
Another World, Universe.
It was one of the many names representing hell.