Chapter 23
Chapter 23
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: Not a Self-Deprecating Stream
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I, who had been a hero, could not show tears in front of my comrades.
It was because crying was forbidden on the grounds that it would lower allied morale.
So whenever tears came, I always had to hide in some secluded corner.
I had no choice but to stifle my sobs, afraid my crying might reach my comrades' ears—or worse, the enemy's.
But now, I didn't care what happened to that damned order.
I had never wanted to be a false hero who shed blood instead of tears.
"Irina... Sergei... Ivan... Nikolai..."
I called out my comrades' names while gazing at their sleeping faces.
I couldn't remember who she was or her name, so I recalled all my comrades.
But among the hundreds of names in my head, hers wasn't there.
All I could do was shed tears at the fact that one more name had been added to the list of those I had to remember.
Thank you, I'm sorry. I wanted to say those words, but once again, it seemed I was too late.
I had survived again by devouring another comrade's life.
"I'm... sorry... I'll... follow you..."
No longer wanting to live, I quietly offered my apology.
To make sure this apology wasn't too late, I had no choice but to say it before dying.
But my gun was nowhere to be seen—lost somewhere in the battle.
There was a rifle lying next to the corpses, but I couldn't borrow a comrade's gun for suicide.
Just then, a grenade caught my eye on the ground.
I picked it up and looked at the nearby allies.
"Please... stay back..."
"Huh, yes?"
"The bodies too... please..."
"W-What do you..."
For some reason, strangely, allied soldiers who spoke Korean.
They hesitated for a long time instead of granting my request.
It seemed like I had to move first before my resolve weakened.
With that judgment, I began to painfully lift my battered body.
"Hng..."
I braced against the wall with my left arm, half torn off.
The exposed bone scraped, making a chilling sound.
Then I stepped down with my blood-soaked leg.
As strength entered my knee, the pooled blood trickled down.
Terrifying agony surged in, but I didn't give up walking.
If I endured just a little more, I could be completely freed from this pain.
"Aaah...!"
One step, two steps. I didn't get far before collapsing, but I kept crawling forward.
I couldn't bear to damage my comrades' bodies because of my selfish decision, nor did I want nearby allies to see me die.
Once I somehow made it inside the building, I'd pull the pin on the grenade. Then follow my departed comrades into liberation from hell.
If the afterlife existed, the comrades waiting there would surely scold me, but right now, I wouldn't mind being scolded—I just wanted to see their faces one more time.
Yet the path to death felt endlessly long.
I couldn't reach the open door beyond the wall.
But I had no intention of giving up on death, nor the will to live.
Recalling my comrades' faces, I reached out my hand again.
- Screeech—
It was then.
- —KABOOM!!
A military vehicle that had come rushing from somewhere slammed into the wall, blocking my path.
"Huh..."
The situation was so sudden that my strength gave out.
I felt like I'd never get up if I fell, but my crumbling body hit the ground.
I couldn't even tell if it was an allied or enemy vehicle.
All I felt was despair at having my death interrupted.
"Sukka!"
Then, with coarse swearing, the car door rattled.
The half-broken door couldn't hold and fell off completely.
Soon after, a blonde woman burst out from the driver's seat in a panic.
My comrade, whose name I couldn't recall until moments ago.
"Ttalgwi...?"
It was Ttalgwi.
"Sukka!"
The frantic Ttalgwi scooped up my collapsed form.
She bawled like a child and hugged me with all her might.
My whole body felt like it would shatter from the pain, but I couldn't utter a word.
Seeing a comrade who had died alive and well left me confused whether this was a dream or reality.
"You did great... You must've been so scared alone..."
Hearing Ttalgwi's choked sobs, the pain gradually subsided.
My dizzy vision sharpened bit by bit, and the surroundings slowly came into view.
It was like color seeping into a monochrome painting.
The Eastern Front battlefield overlaid on my sight washed away before the familiar golden hair.
"Thanks for saving me... I'm alive..."
This wasn't the Kursk plain. Nor Stalingrad's ruins.
It wasn't a dream either. And definitely not reality.
This was a virtual reality world where no one truly died.
A world resembling the hell that had imprisoned me, but seen as mere entertainment by others.
"You were so cool... Sukka..."
It was inside the game.
- Plop.
The grenade slipped from my loosened grip and rolled to the ground.
Ttalgwi flinched in shock and tossed it far away.
Then she glared at me as if asking what I was thinking.
It was the face of the comrade I'd longed to see, scolding me for my suicidal resolve.
"I thought... you really died, Ttalgwi... I was going to follow you..."
"As if! It's a game—why would you die?!"
"S-Sorry..."
"Don't apologize! The one who should apologize is me! Do you know how worried I was?!"
"I'm... sorry..."
"I said don't apologize!!"
Ttalgwi shrieked and hugged me with all her strength again.
It was as if she was saying just how much she'd worried through the embrace.
I could only wheeze, feeling suffocated.
Ttalgwi's shoulders twitched, and she released me, asking:
"Ah, does it hurt? It shouldn't hurt that much since it's a game..."
"No... It's bearable now... It hurt a lot earlier..."
"Gasp! What's wrong with your leg?! Is this because we dressed you up like that?! Aaaah!! I'll kill that bitch! I must've been crazy then!"
"N-No, this is just... from falling..."
"Snuuuffle... Medic! Please treat our Sukka quick..."
Ttalgwi started crying again, snot dripping as she begged.
Then someone approached me and began tending to my injured arm and leg.
Startled, I turned to see the medic who'd been nearby, our eyes meeting.
She smiled warmly—surprisingly, a female player.
"And you, Ghost! You promised to radio if the rescue succeeded! 'Squad success, going down!' And then you end the radio? What am I supposed to do with that?!"
"Ah... It was Squad 6, so I couldn't wait..."
"If the viewers hadn't told me, it'd be even later! I was just waiting on respawn in case we missed each other!"
"Really sorry."
"Ah... S-Sorry for yelling... I got too excited and took it out on you..."
"It's fine. It was my fault for taking the game lightly."
As I received treatment, Ttalgwi and Ghost started bickering.
No wonder Ttalgwi had arrived later than the others—she'd been waiting so we could meet even if I died.
The word 'viewers' in their conversation made me flinch.
Relieved from reuniting with Ttalgwi and the allies, the chat window that hadn't been visible finally appeared.
『If it dragged to Squad 6 with that callout concept, yeah, couldn't hold back lololol』
『Whoa... But seriously, watching the stream shaved years off my life...』
『Glad it worked out somehow, fr』
『What? Happy ending? I was flaming non-stop in Ttalgwi's stream?』
『Alright! Situation over! Good job everyone!』
『Sukka, if you're really okay, say somethingㅜㅜㅜㅜ』
"Ah..."
In the chat, Shin Ara and all the viewers were worried about me.
Judging by how long the scroll was, they'd been fretting even while I was out of it.
Knowing I had allies in the real world too warmed my heart.
With a faint smile, I signaled to the viewers that I was okay now.
"Sorry for ignoring the stream... I ended up showing you all an ugly sight..."
『Oh!! All good now??』
『Sukka... I was so scared... Hug me quick...』
『Sorry for the tactical dolphin pants. Can I touch your head now?』
"Ah. No need to apologize. It was my fault for rolling around. Thanks for worrying, everyone. I'm good now."
『But fr, you fought insanely well... Where'd you learn plays like that?』
『Cried cutely, so forgiven...』
『Fought insanely well = was actually insane』
"It's from playing a lot of FPS games. And I didn't cry. Don't say weird stuff."
『Didn't cry my ass lololololololol』
『You're covered in dust, tear tracks still there lololololol』
『Wanna lick Sukka's tears...』
"N-No... I don't cry normally..."
『Looking cute means you're fine lol』
『Look at her embarrassed lololol』
『Hnnng so hotㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ』
"......Manager, block that one."
『Ah!! Spare me once!! Can't I like you!!』
┗ Chat deleted due to block.
Chatting with the viewers helped me regain some calm.
Thanks to Ttalgwi, the allies, Shin Ara, and the viewers, even my PTSD felt pushed back a step.
My startled heart still pounded, but it was bearable.
As I bantered briefly with viewers, the medic spoke up—treatment done.
"All set. Max HP's down a bit, but you can move."
"Ah. Thanks. You saved my life."
"No need to thank me. Saving allies is a medic's job. I got tons of military merit points, so I'm the thankful one."
"Ah, yeah..."
I nodded at the medic's smile and tested my body.
It was uncomfortable wrapped in bandages, but I could manage a fight or two.
Then the medic, gathering her gear, waved goodbye.
Heading back to the front, apparently. Seeing that, Ghost checked his weapons and spoke.
"Then we'll return to the front. Hope we meet as allies next time."
I looked at Ttalgwi without hiding my worry.
Overhearing, she wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
"Sukka. Should we just rest here?"
"Huh? You said we need to fight for points... You okay?"
"Who cares about rank now? It's a won game anyway—points won't drop much."
"We... won?"
"Yeah. Basically a perfect game win. Turn on company radio and you'll be shocked? They're worshipping you as a point-blank legend."
"......Huh?"
I made a confused face, so Ttalgwi fiddled with the radio on my shoulder.
Suddenly, company radio blared loudly through the headset—inaudible until now.
= "Enemies are holed up in their spawn, can't come out!"
= "Pfft! They must hate it. Lots of dodgers too?"
= "Whoa... First time seeing a one-man carry... So this is possible..."
= "Anyone know the nickname of the one holding C?"
= "It's Sukka! She just started streaming!"
= "Sukka?"
= "Reporting for profanity."
= "What? Me? Why? What's up?"
It was chaotic with everyone talking over each other, but all about one topic.
How I'd bought time at C point, making the win easy.
What I'd done while blacked out had snowballed massively.
It felt like things had blown up unnecessarily, sprouting anxiety.
"You carried this game, Sukka. You'll definitely get the War Hero title when it ends."
"Ah..."
Sure enough, I'd become a war hero here too.
The loathsome title that had forced horrific battles on me and stolen my tears.
But for some reason.
Though it should have been hateful, something I never wanted to hear,
"War Hero..."
This time, it didn't feel so bad.
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