Chapter 1
Chapter 1
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 1
Chapter Title: Not a Self-Deprecating Stream
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Drip. Drip.
Raindrops splattered against the window of the dimly lit studio apartment.
Huddled on the bed and staring only at the wall, the quiet patter of rain began to intensify.
Already confused and depressed enough as it was, the gloomy weather made me feel like I was going insane.
I pulled the blanket over my head to shake off the horrific memories.
"That's just rain... not gunfire..."
I don't like rainy days.
And for good reason—the sound of heavy raindrops bore an unsettling resemblance to distant rifle shots.
If I listened closely to the 'drip-drip,' it would overlap with the 'rat-tat-tat' of gunfire in my mind.
I knew rationally it wasn't gunfire, but the deeply ingrained trauma made me flinch reflexively anyway.
"This isn't a battlefield... I'm safe right now..."
Still, today I was managing to hold onto my sanity, at least somewhat.
Yesterday, the thunder had tricked me into thinking it was incoming artillery, sending me into a full-blown panic.
It had been three whole days since returning to the real world, yet my mind was still trapped on the battlefield.
My chronic insomnia had worsened, leaving the dark circles under my eyes even deeper.
'Please, pull yourself together...'
But I couldn't hide away like this forever.
Forget lack of sleep— I hadn't eaten properly and felt like I could collapse any moment.
Tomorrow, I might just curl up again, tormented by trauma and ignoring reality.
With that thought, I grabbed the smartphone on my bedside table to at least get a grasp on my current situation.
"...ID card?"
As I fiddled with the phone, an ID slipped out from its case.
Name, gender, age, address—none of it matched my original identity at all.
20-year-old female overseas citizen, Victoria Chernakoshka (Виктория Чернакошка).
The details were slightly different, but this was unmistakably the personal info of the character I'd possessed.
My body and identity clearly had no intention of reverting to normal.
Betrayed by that faint hope, a whimper escaped my lips.
"Blin..."
I shook my head vigorously to fend off the creeping gloom.
If I gave in to these emotions now, I'd end up buried under the covers, groaning all day again.
Miss today, and who knew if I'd ever have another clear-headed day.
Steel ing myself to face reality, I looked at the smartphone again.
'The messenger app looks just like the one I knew...'
Touching the screen brought up a slightly unfamiliar interface.
Fortunately, no password lock, so I tapped the messenger app to check saved contacts.
But there were hardly any numbers saved, and even fewer chat threads— it felt utterly empty.
The original Victoria must not have cared much for social connections.
"Hm?"
Still, two contacts caught my eye.
One was a guy named Han Jintae, listed as 'Universe Game Director.'
The other was a woman named Shin Ara, marked as 'Psychological Counselor.'
I zeroed in on them for simple reasons.
I'd met the game director before, and the counselor was the only one who'd been messaging me recently.
'Han Jintae... he was the lead director on the game I possessed into, right?'
Come to think of it, I'd heard from a staffer when I was selected as a tester.
The character Victoria Chernakoshka in the game was modeled after some aspiring actress they'd scouted.
So, was the original owner of this body the real-life Victoria who became the model?
Did I possess the in-game Victoria first, then jump to the real one?
'Did we sell our country in a past life or something?'
If that theory held, it was one hell of an unlucky connection.
No guilt over taking her body, but it left an odd discomfort in my chest.
'Director Han Jintae... should I call him?'
The urge surged for a moment, but I let it go with a shake of my head.
A mere game director couldn't possibly tangle someone's fate this badly.
What happened to me was on the level of cursing the heavens, not suing a game company.
Pity there was no compensation, but my grudge against them wasn't as big as I'd thought.
'Four years possessing in the game... my real body is probably cremated by now...'
Either way, I had to live on as Victoria Chernakoshka.
And honestly, after surviving four years on the Eastern Front, this body felt familiar— not like someone else's anymore.
The only awkward part was that it hadn't grown at all, leaving me with this youthful look.
I gazed wistfully at the VR capsule tucked in the corner of the studio.
"No changes after four years..."
It was unmistakably the latest model, a comfy recliner-style VR capsule.
The glossy black lid reflected a familiar girl's face clearly.
Black hair brushing her shoulders, lifeless black eyes, and deep dark circles like smoky eyeliner.
Even the exhausted, worn-out vibe was straight out of the game.
Looking at her like this, I could almost understand why my comrades teased me about being cute.
She was like a doll embodying 'decadent beauty' perfectly.
"Sukka..."
But to me, she couldn't just look pretty.
Dragged to the battlefield in this body, I'd suffered endlessly, and that cute face had never once helped.
Worse, using the VR rig as a mirror soured my mood even more.
The horrific memories from the Eastern Front flooded back, nearly triggering a panic.
I wanted to scream, but I had to avoid another meltdown.
Forcing my pounding heart to calm, I picked up the smartphone again.
'Oh right, I'd been talking to the counselor recently.'
To distract myself, I quickly scanned the chat list.
Then, without hesitation, I tapped the thread labeled 'Psychological Therapist Shin Ara' amid the barren list.
Sure, it was peeking into Victoria's private life without permission, but I didn't care.
At this point, treating Victoria as a stranger felt impossible.
[Shin Ara: Victoria, don't try to understand a stalker's psychology. Stalking is a crime that can't and shouldn't be understood.]
[Shin Ara: You've already reported it to the police. Please don't try to handle it alone—it's dangerous. I'm worried something might happen to you.]
The counselor's chat was touching on a surprisingly thorny topic.
I'd figured a psychological counselor meant dealing with depression at most, not this stalker bombshell.
Checking dates, it wasn't a one-off— she'd been harassed for years, by the looks of it.
Unlike the original Victoria, I wasn't scared of some stalker.
If it were an armed SS Nazi, sure, but in modern Korea? No chance.
More irritation than fear bubbled up.
My mouth soured; I quietly scrolled down.
[Shin Ara: You live near our counseling center, so in-person sessions are possible. If you need someone to talk to, contact me anytime. I'll come right over.]
Still, reading the chats gave me some hope.
I desperately needed a psychological counselor's help right now.
After all, beneath this exterior, I was a veteran who'd fought four years on the Eastern Front.
In a harsh light, a killing machine responsible for hundreds of deaths.
And anyone could see my mental state was unstable.
If I panicked in public, it could escalate beyond bloodshed to a major incident.
[Me: Can you really do a home visit?]
So, I messaged the counselor right away.
The stalker issue aside, she might treat my mental condition.
I couldn't hole up in this room forever.
I might harm neighbors if things went south, so getting help while my head was clear seemed smart.
[Shin Ara: Yes! Of course! When can you make it?]
Her reply came instantly, bright as ever despite days of silence— true to a therapist.
[Me: Is right now possible by any chance?]
[Shin Ara: Absolutely! It's Hanmaum Villa Building 202, right?]
[Me: Yes.]
[Shin Ara: Perfect timing— just clocking out. I'll head over now! It's super close, so I'll be there in no time!]
I double-checked the address on my ID before replying carefully.
Peeking out the window, I saw the counseling center's sign right nearby— she wasn't kidding.
Then, someone burst from the center, dashing through the rain.
Racing down the street without an umbrella, she looked so precarious.
"U, Ura..."
No gun, so I couldn't even provide cover fire.
All I could do was cheer silently.
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