The Enlistment Notice
They say a man cries three times in his life.
When he is first born.
When his parents die.
And when he loses his country.
"Ugh… hhkk…."
I was weeping like my heart had been torn open.
I hadn't just been born. My parents hadn't died. The nation hadn't fallen.
I sat with my face buried in the kitchen table, shoulders shaking. Tears pooled on the wood beside a green liquor bottle and a single sheet of paper.
On that paper were five short, merciless words.
"It's not fair…."
I rubbed my forehead against the table and muttered under my breath.
"Why the hell do only men have to go to the military… What has this country ever done for me… If I'd just been born a girl…."
I jerked my head up, grabbed the bottle, and drained it straight.
Gulp, gulp—
The bitter stink of alcohol. The taste was so foul I nearly gagged, but I forced every last drop of soju down my throat.
Thud—!
Face burning red, I tore open a bag of candy and shoved some into my mouth. My only side dish.
"This is fucking bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit…."
I spat curses for a while, then staggered to my feet.
"Ah…."
I opened the fridge. Inside: one half-drunk bottle of water, and a kimchi container I couldn't even remember putting in there. That was it.
I stared blankly into the empty white box, then slammed the door shut.
"Fuck…."
I dug through my wallet. One thousand-won bill. One five-hundred-won coin. Not even enough for a single bottle of soju at the convenience store.
After a moment's hesitation, I pulled out my phone and checked my bank account. Balance: 1,200 won.
"Oh."
That would buy one more bottle. And if I grabbed a stick of hard candy for a side….
"Ha…."
I let out a hollow laugh and sank to the floor.
What the hell am I even doing….
I laughed because I could still afford one more bottle of soju.
And it was absurd that a single bottle of soju had me reduced to this.
"Drinking, with money like mine…."
I muttered to myself and crawled on all fours toward the bed, collapsing onto it. For a while I just lay there with my face buried in the pillow, breathing hard, before I rolled onto my back.
"Ugh…."
The ceiling spun. I felt like I was going to throw up any second, but I forced it down. The alcohol I'd already spent money on was too precious to waste.
"Hhh… hah…."
I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted to sleep and be done with it. But if I closed my eyes, tomorrow would come. So I couldn't sleep. Tomorrow arriving was more terrifying than anything else in the world.
I stretched out an arm and groped across the floor. My fingers found the phone; I lifted it and woke the screen. A short automatically started playing.
That endlessly familiar AI voice spilled out of the speaker.
The NOVA Syndicate tournament hosted by Peanut Man — Fall of the Great — has been mired in controversy lately.
During one of the tournament scrims, a hack allegation blew up around Bullet, a member of major streamer Aura's team.
I forced my eyes open and stared blankly at the blinding screen. On it, a man with a disheveled face looked straight into the camera.
"Uh, at present… nothing has been conclusively proven regarding the hack allegations against Bullet. Suspicious, sure, but I'd appreciate it if everyone could stay calm for now."
He let out a long sigh and went on.
"We've already put in an inquiry with the game company about the hack. Until those results come back, we'd be grateful if you could hold off."
The screen cut again. This time, a VTuber appeared.
Pinkish hair, eyes with a faint gray cast, a dark-violet lolita-style dress.
Bullet has not been seen for twelve hours since the controversy broke.
Her last confirmed statement was a single line left in chat right after the scandal hit: "I'm sorry."
On top of that, she vanished mid-scrim with the absurd excuse that she was running a tofu errand for her mother — which has only poured more fuel on the fire.
"What a fucking lunatic…."
I snorted and the corner of my mouth tugged up. A tofu errand. She must have been in a real damn hurry.
But the smile didn't last. When the short ended and the screen went dark, a suffocating silence settled over the one-room apartment.
"Hhk…."
I couldn't breathe.
The loneliness of being left alone in the world. Anxiety about the future. The black magic of early morning. All of it tangled together and crushed down on my heart.
Thump-thump—
The sound of my own heartbeat in my ears.
I clutched my chest and squeezed my eyes shut. Then I stretched out an arm again, groping for the phone wherever it had gone.
The AI's lifeless voice spilled out once more. As the dark screen lit up, the world in front of me seemed a little less black.
I slowly lifted my head and tapped open the comments. I needed to look at something — anything. Being left alone in that silence was too terrifying.
A comment section drowning in curses, mockery, and scorn. Looking at it, I felt disgust and relief at the same time.
"Uuuugh…."
The alcohol was hitting harder; the world in front of me blurred. I forced my eyes open, straining to read even one more word. That was how badly I didn't want to fall asleep. But the harder I fought it, the heavier my eyelids became.
"If only…."
Right before sleep took me, I mumbled one last thing.
"If only I could've been a VTuber like that…."
Sunlight stabbed my eyes. I frowned hard and woke in a panic, flinging a hand up to shield my face.
"Augh, what the…."
Maybe from how much I'd drunk last night. Or maybe from all the nonsense I'd been muttering. My voice barely came out at all. My head felt like it was splitting open.
"Uuuuuugh…."
My eyelids were impossibly heavy. My tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth like it'd been stuck there with adhesive, and the inside of my throat scraped raw, like I'd swallowed sand.
"Ugh…."
My body didn't feel like my body. I tried to sit up, but a dense, unfamiliar weight made it hard.
Nausea surged. I bolted for the bathroom.
"Uweeeegh…."
Splatter—
I buried my face in the toilet and emptied everything inside me. Mixed in with the bile was something like a pale powder. Everywhere the acid had passed burned like fire.
"Cough, cough… ugh…."
I leaned against the bowl for a while, spitting bitter saliva.
Shouldn't have drunk soju on an empty stomach….
I'd never had a hangover this vicious. But had I even drunk that much last night?
"Hhh…."
The thought didn't last. Something surged up again and I heaved.
"Haa…."
I went on like that for a while — throwing up, breathing, throwing up. Only when there was truly nothing left could I push myself upright. Even then I staggered, unable to find my center of gravity.
"Ugh…."
I flushed, then grabbed the sink beside me for support. Below my face, an unbelievably full curve filled my vision.
"Huh…?"
Without thinking, I lifted a hand. When my fingers moved, I felt something soft and yielding. For some reason it was oddly calming, so I kept kneading.
"Th-that's not—."
I shook my head hard and finally snapped out of it.
"…Eh?"
I stared blankly at the mirror in front of me.
In my entire life, had I ever seen someone this beautiful this close up? No.
If a girl this pretty had been standing in front of me in an outfit like that, looking that flustered, I would have just stood there gawking.
The problem was that the pretty girl moved exactly as I moved.
"Wh-what the hell is…."
I touched my hair; the woman in the mirror touched her hair. I put a hand on my chest; she put a hand on hers, perfectly in sync.
"Huh?"
My mind went blank.
It took a while to stop spinning, but I more or less accepted the situation. How was I supposed to ignore a weight like this, anyway.
"Whoa, but what even is this?"
Only after washing my face and stepping out of the bathroom did the state of the apartment finally register.
Delivery containers and trash were piled everywhere. The stench of garbage and stale cigarette smoke made my head swim.
"Ugh…."
Empty soda cans and water bottles lay scattered across the table. Beside them sat an ashtray overflowing with ash and butts.
A pigsty.
No — even that was too generous. It was just a straight-up landfill. The only silver lining was that I didn't see any cockroaches. If I had, I would have abandoned the place on the spot.
How do you even live to make a house look like this?
The question was one thing. The crushing sense that I'd never get it all cleaned up was another.
"Ah…."
I squeezed my eyes shut. A wave of dizziness hit hard. Clutching my forehead, I dropped into the nearest chair.
"Hm?"
The mountain of trash had been so overwhelming I'd only just noticed — the desk setup was no joke.
A monitor sat dead center on a motorized desk, with one more on either side. Below that, an iPhone was fixed to a little tripod, and there was a mic too.
Two PC towers, even.
For a garbage dump of a room, it was an absurdly polished, textbook streaming setup. Had the owner of this body been a streamer?
A VTuber, even, by the look of it.
I'd heard VTubers used iPhones for face tracking.
Why, though?
I tilted my head. Why would someone with a face and body like this be a VTuber? Was there some kind of story there?
I reached out and powered on both computers. One for gaming, one for streaming, probably — not that I could tell which was which yet.
"This one's the stream PC, looks like."
The side monitor was plastered with streaming software. The front one had a pile of games installed.
What even is all this….
I scratched my cheek and poked around. Then I opened one particular program, and a character popped up on screen.
Violet hair, eyes with a faint gray cast. A lolita dress and garter belts.
"She's pretty."
The words slipped out on their own. As I stared blankly at the model, a scrap of memory and a sharp sense of déjà vu cut through my head.
"Huh?"
I rolled the chair in closer, grabbed the mouse, and hurriedly opened the streaming platform Zibzig.
I'd never streamed before, so I floundered for a bit, but I eventually managed to find the broadcast account.
The déjà vu clicked into place. She — meaning the body I was in right now — was that VTuber. The one from the hack scandal.
"Fuck?"
Off to a fantastic start.