Graduating from Primitive Life

Acquisition? What acquisition.

Did these people even know what it would cost to buy me out before they started running their mouths? I didn't even know what I'd sell myself for yet.

Yuna looked up from her gear and turned to me.

"Hello. I'm Yuna from YunaTV. I'm sorry for dropping in unannounced. If it's not too much of an imposition, would you mind giving me a little of your time on my stream?"

A collab with a mega streamer — something I'd never managed in my previous life. And I had to become an NPC to finally pull it off.

For the record, back in my nobody days, I had sent collab requests to channels that were only a little bigger than mine.

I never got a single reply.

I called them requests, but they were begging, plain and simple. I didn't know any better back then.

Collabs weren't something a small-time streamer asked for. They were something you showed up for when a giant called your name.

Exactly like today.

"Yes, of course!"

The concurrent viewer count started climbing like it had lost its mind.

The mega-streamer siphon effect is insane!

And just like that, a collab that had no business starting this smoothly was underway.

"Yuna, there's nowhere to sit, though… Is that rock over there alright?"

"Hmm…"

The seven-hundred-thousand-subscriber YouTuber didn't answer. She surveyed the front yard of my cave instead.

"I have some camping gear on me. Would it be alright if I set it up here?"

"Of course!"

Yuna raised a hand and summoned something into the air. An inventory window bloomed in the empty space, a whole catalog of camping equipment scrolling down the list. A few more taps, and two camping chairs and a fire pit materialized on the ground.

"Whoa, that's amazing!"

"I filmed a camping-in-Terranova series not too long ago," Yuna said, smiling sweetly.

Even the chairs looked like they belonged to a completely different league from the twenty-five-dollar ones I used to own.

While I was still standing there with my mouth open, Yuna walked over and held something out to me.

"Sera, you needed these, right? Consider it a gift."

A cookware set — pot, frying pan, knife, ladle — plus a full dishware set with bowls and cups.

"Th-thank you so much…"

My nose stung. My throat tightened.

Hell yes it was.

I could simmer spicy fish stew. I could cut butter with an actual knife. I could even measure a cup of flour.

Civilization wasn't anything mystical. It was just using tools.

As of today, Sera was no longer a primitive. She was a civilized woman.

And if anyone called me a cavewoman again, I was going to be genuinely upset.

Yuna glanced through the mouth of the cave, then pulled one more thing from her inventory.

"I've used it once, but… if you don't mind, please take this too."

A sleeping bag. An actual sleeping bag.

"Yuna, thank you so much. Are you sure you can just keep handing things out like this…?"

"It's fine. I tend to sleep at home anyway."

Ah. I slept at home too, technically.

My home was a cave. Yuna's was an apartment.

Still — my place had a front yard and a field, thank you very much.

"It's nothing fancy, but the only thing I can offer you right now is grilled fish. Would that be alright?"

"Grilled fish sounds lovely. Although… more than that…"

"?"

"You looked like you were really enjoying that strawberry pie earlier. Would a strawberry pie be possible?"

"Of course!"

The strawberries I'd already picked were long gone, but there were plenty of vines near the house. Gathering enough for a single pie wouldn't take long. I even had the know-how now — plus a knife, plus a cup. I could make it better than last time.

"Yuna, wait right here! I'll be back in a minute!"

Basket in hand, I bounded off toward the strawberry patch near the house — and stopped cold.

Nothing but empty stems remained, swaying forlornly in the wind.

Who could have stripped every last strawberry?

Who else was even on this mountain besides me.

"……Oh. Right. I picked and ate them all earlier."

"Excuse me, audacity? I'll have you know there's an actual goldmine nearby."

I cleared my throat with a completely unnecessary ahem and started walking deeper into the forest.

Strawberries were everywhere on this mountain. Poke around a little and I'd find more.

I pushed through the brush, and a colony of wild berries spilled into view — each one plump and glowing a ripe, fiery red, as if the whole thicket had caught fire.

"See? What did I tell you? This is a real secret spot even you players don't know about."

"I'm going to fill this basket until it bursts, so quit rushing me."

Basket tucked against my side, I picked in a frenzy — and then one berry caught my eye. Huge, plump, perfectly ripe.

The visual was so criminal it went straight into my mouth before I could think.

Pop. Juice burst across my tongue, and the flesh between my teeth was insanely sweet.

"Nom nom. Must be because they're so fresh — they're freaking delicious even raw…"

I had definitely meant to eat just one. By the time I came back to my senses, half the basket was already empty.

"Excuse me. I'm serving a guest. Checking the sugar content is standard procedure. This is strict quality control."

"Okay, okay. I'll give Nureongi some too."

I tossed a couple of berries to Nureongi, who was wagging his tail beside me, and was clicking my tongue with my cheeks still stuffed when something in the brush caught my eye.

Eggs? No — a little smaller than that.

Three small eggs sat nestled in a nest.

"Whoa. Jackpot."

The secret ingredient that made a pie look irresistible. I'd just secured bird eggs to brush on in place of an egg wash.

Couldn't you eat any kind of bird egg, though?

"Come on, chat. Just look at it. It's obviously food."

"Fine. Since you keep going on about it, the royal taster will now commence inspection."

Eating raw eggs wasn't a hobby of mine, but it wasn't like I'd never done it either.

I cracked one of the three, tipped it into my mouth, and the rich, nutty taste of the yolk filled every corner of it.

Gulp.

A window bloomed in front of my eyes.

"See? I told you it was fine."

I tucked the remaining two eggs into my apron pocket.

"Alright! Basket's packed — heading back!"

Kang Yuna, owner of the YunaTV channel.

In her view, nothing in this world came easy.

Just thinking about her nobody days was still enough to jolt her awake at night.

Year five of the streaming life.

These days, people called her an Influential Streamer — the kind who pulled five-figure viewer counts as a baseline just by logging on. But Yuna, too, had once chewed bread soaked in her own tears.

The days she'd sit with three viewers and mine ore alone for five hours straight. The days a single yep in the chat window was enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Luck had come from the stupidest place imaginable. One crispy-chewy ASMR video she'd thrown together on the spot had exploded.

Yuna did not let the opportunity slip. She filmed mukbangs so the viewers who'd found her would have a reason to stay. When the mukbangs went stale, she filmed daily vlogs. When the vlogs went stale, she filmed games. When the games went stale, she filmed camping.

That was how she had clawed her way here.

I'm hitting a plateau…

Lately every piece of content felt like a rerun of the last. She'd already done most of the things worth doing, and her viewers were starting to look bored — same dish, same seasoning. But the scariest part was something else entirely.

Viewer counts and view counts were both trickling downward.

She was still turning it over in her head when her manager sent a message.

Yuna followed the link. On the stream, a pink-haired NPC named Sera was chewing wild strawberries with a vacant look on her face, delighted chat scrolling underneath her.

Huh? This is actually kind of new…

The instinct of an Influential Streamer fired on the spot.

Who was Sera? The general store clerk every Terranova player ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had to pass through in the starter village. She'd even appeared in the ads announcing Terranova's launch. Cute enough that she had a fairly devoted fanbase of her own.

And that NPC had declared her resignation and was now homeless-streaming from a wild mountain.

Could it be a hidden event Terranova had prepared?

If I film this, it might ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠blow up.

She had spent several hundred thousand gold buying Rare-grade tracking items just to find Sera faster than anyone else, and she didn't regret a single coin of it. Spend what you spend. Extract what you invested. That was the whole math.

That was how she had paid her way to this mountain.

Sera was standing by the campfire in front of the cave, planting fish skewers in a ring around the flames.

Yuna had received a quest from Sera herself, once, while playing this game. The woman in front of her was identical to the one from back then.

Which meant, at the very least, that this was not someone cosplaying as Sera.

When Yuna handed over the sponsored cookware and dishware, she watched Sera's reaction — genuine, unguarded, overwhelmed.

The footage was going to look even better than expected. An NPC welling up with tears over a set of cooking tools.

Edit that into a short and a million views didn't feel out of reach.

That was when she saw Sera come trotting down the mountain, a colander heaped with strawberries in her arms. Her apron was bulging with something else besides.

"Yuna! Sorry to keep you waiting! The ingredients are all ready!"

"Wow, you picked so many!"

Here comes my second crispy-chewy hit. Right on time.

Yuna was buzzing at the thought of filming content that would print views.