A Lecher for Fine Steeds (1)
Even after that day, whenever they had a spare hour, Jin Yigang, Ji Gon, and Ju Chuchu made their way to the Miscellaneous Studies Library. With his studies of the desert complete, Jin Yigang threw himself into learning languages.
“Today we're learning how to drive a camel.”
So said Seok Dae-ryong when he returned from the early morning briefing.
“Not riding it?”
someone asked.
“We'll never have occasion to ride a camel, so don't worry about that. Come on.”
The group filed out of the barracks and headed for the training grounds on the outskirts of Geumcheon Manor.
Hundreds of camels covered a sand lot stretching across a thousand pyeong or more.
“Hyah!”
“Hah!”
GRRUUUK!
A camel shrieked out a bizarre cry and tore across the sand.
“Whoa, that's fast.”
The onlookers let out gasps of admiration. Its running speed was no slower than a horse's, and with a body that enormous, it actually looked even faster.
“So which one's quicker — a camel or a horse?”
“In the desert, the camel. On open ground it's about even,”
Jin Yigang answered.
“Why would a camel be faster in the desert?”
“A camel's foot is shaped like a serving tray, so it doesn't sink into the sand. A horse, on the other hand, sinks right in with every step. It's not even a contest.”
“Huh. I see. But…….”
Du Maenggun looked at Jin Yigang.
“What?”
“You ever actually been to a desert?”
“I've been hitting one hard all week.”
“All week?”
“Turns out the Miscellaneous Studies Library has a desert in it. Camels too.”
“You mean you read about it in a book?”
“Yep.”
“Knowledge you pick up from books is dead knowledge, son,”
“Still better than knowing nothing.”
“Over here!”
Seok Dae-ryong waved the group over. They crowded around him. In an open space with no obstacles stood a single camel and an instructor.
A dromedary, huh?
Jin Yigang murmured to himself. He'd read that camels came in two kinds — the two-humped Bactrian and the one-humped dromedary. The two-humped kind roamed Xinjiang and the Great Desert, while the one-humped kind was common in the kingdom of Parthia.
The instructor looks like he's from those parts too.
The man was clearly a western barbarian.
The squad took seats on tiered wooden benches.
“I will now explain the camel. The camel is called the ship of the desert.”
The lecture on camels ran on for the better part of an hour.
One thing the instructor repeated more than anything else was that camels had vile tempers.
“Avoid looking a camel directly in the eye whenever possible.”
And with that, the classroom portion came to an end.
“Gu-chil.”
Amira called out to him.
“Yeah?”
“Why do they say not to look them in the eye?”
“They say a camel throws a fit when something uglier than itself stares it down.”
“Then I've got nothing to worry about.”
“We will now begin practical training. You will handle the camels in teams of four. Start by practicing leading them with the reins. Ask the assistant instructors if there's anything you don't understand.”
Jin Yigang studied the camel assigned to his team. It was incomparably bigger than a horse — the top of its hump stood nearly as high as his own head.
HRRNK!
The moment he took hold of the reins, the camel let out a blaring cry. He pulled and tugged, but the beast didn't budge an inch.
“Hey! Instructor!”
Jin Yigang called for help.
An assistant instructor who'd been teaching another team came running over.
“This thing won't move a hair.”
“Hand me them reins.”
Perhaps Jin Yigang's casual tone rubbed him the wrong way, because the man's speech was none too courteous.
Jin Yigang handed over the reins.
“Move!”
CRACK!
The assistant instructor laid into it with the reins, and the camel immediately started walking.
“Works fine, see?”
the man said, glancing at Jin Yigang.
“So it listens when you beat it?”
“It don't obey just 'cause you thrash it. You gotta subdue it with dignity.”
“Dignity?”
“That's right. Whether you've got any, I couldn't say.”
“So I just have to scare it, then.”
Jin Yigang walked around to the front of the camel's face.
“Not scare — dignity. And if it were me, I'd never get in front of one,”
the assistant instructor said.
“I'll be fine.”
PTUI!
In that instant the camel shrieked and spat a load of foul cud straight at Jin Yigang's face. His head snapped left, and his left fist cut through empty air.
WHAM!
The punch landed squarely on the camel's cheek.
GWEEEEK!
The camel screamed and staggered.
“That rattled your skull, didn't it?”
Jin Yigang stared the beast dead in the eyes.
GRRUUUK!
This time the camel thrust its head forward.
“Wanna settle it head-to-head? Fine by me.”
Jin Yigang drove his forehead down onto the camel's crown.
THUD!
A dull crack exploded through the air, and the camel swayed backward, wobbling.
“Still think I'm beneath you?”
GRRUUUK!
The camel scrambled up and charged straight at Jin Yigang.
WHAM!
But before it could bowl him over, it took an uppercut to the jaw and ground to a halt. Visibly rattled by the situation, the camel rolled its eyes in wild circles.
“I haven't even gotten started yet, you bastard.”
Jin Yigang leaned in close, locking eyes with the beast.
PTUI!
The camel spat again.
Jin Yigang's face whipped left, and his right fist cut through the air.
WHAM!
This one hit hard enough that the camel reeled off to the left — and right then his left fist cracked across its other cheek.
WHAM!
GWEEEK!
The camel shrieked.
GRUUUAAAGH!
With one last monstrous bellow, it threw itself at Jin Yigang.
WHAM!
Jin Yigang snapped his head forward, seized the camel's neck with both arms, and shoved. Man and beast locked in a dead-even struggle. The whole bizarre spectacle of one man wrestling one beast unfolded as everyone dropped what they were doing to watch.
“Walk.”
someone said quietly.
“I'm the camel.”
“I'm the horse.”
“I'm the camel.”
“I'm the horse.”
“I'm the camel.”
“Why is Gu-chil the horse?”
Amira asked.
“Ever bathed with Gu-chil?”
“I'm a woman, you know.”
“Sleep with him once and you'll know exactly what I mean. Far as I can tell, that man was a horse in his past life. A stud through and through.”
“Hmm…… horses are my favorite animal.”
“You like horses?”
“Mm-hm. That's why my nickname is Lecher for Fine Steeds.”
“Funny, I thought it was something other than horses you liked.”
“I like both.”
“So are you placing the bet or not?”
“What odds?”
“Two-to-one.”
“Twenty nyang on the horse.”
Amira laid down twenty nyang.
“Isn't that betting a little heavy?”
“That bastard cost me twenty nyang before. Time to win it back.”
GRUUUUAAAGH!
The camel let out a monstrous bellow.
“What in the world?”
Instructor Poi Rap asked, turning to the assistant instructor.
“It appears he is taming the camel, sir.”
“Taming it?”
“The camel refused to heed the young master, it seems.”
“And the spit?”
“It spat, but the young master dodged like so and drove his fist home.”
The assistant instructor tilted his head back and thrust out a fist to demonstrate.
“One left to the cheek, one headbutt, one right, another left — and now this grapple you see.”
“Heh.”
Poi Rap let out a dry chuckle.
“The horse is gaining ground!”
someone from the Twin-Ten Squad shouted.
“Hey, Stud! I got twenty nyang riding on you! You win this, I'll sleep with you once!”
Amira hollered.
“You thieving woman! That got through to him!”
Padun bellowed.
Jin Yigang was pushing forward, inch by inch.
“Unbelievable.”
Poi Rap laughed in sheer disbelief.
The camel Jin Yigang was locked in a contest of strength with measured over ten feet in length and weighed in the neighborhood of nine hundred kilograms. It had originally been brought in as a racing camel, but an accident along the way delayed its arrival by a full year.
The assistant instructors had stepped up to try taming it, but there was no taming a beast that had already grown to full size. That was how it had earned the nickname Monster.
Nobody had imagined they'd witness a man lock horns with a camel of that caliber.
“That man is completely out of his mind, sir.”
the assistant instructor said.
“He is no madman. He is a 'Murka.' A Murka is one who subdues the beast through strength and nothing else.”
Poi Rap shook his head slowly.
Never thought I'd live to see a Murka from the Central Plains — and no desert man at that.
Poi Rap watched Jin Yigang in silence.
“What was that, sir?”
“Nothing.”
GRUUUUAAAGH!
“GRAAAAARGH!”
Camel and man roared in unison and heaved with everything they had. Jin Yigang's muscles erupted in terrifying knots.
“GRAAAAARGH!”
With a bellow, Jin Yigang tore his head free — then drove it forward with all his might.
GRUUUUUAAAGH!
The camel screamed and gave back a single step. Jin Yigang advanced exactly that much.
The standoff resumed. A good half hour dragged past that way.
Shff.
The camel's hind legs slid back slightly.
There it is!
“GRAAAAAAARGH!”
Jin Yigang howled and drove into the camel.
GRUUUAAAGH!
“Too slow, you bastard.”
Jin Yigang pushed forward like an unstoppable ox. The thousand-five-hundred-geun beast gave ground again and again.
GRUUUK! GRUUUK!
The camel bellowed wildly, as if to say this was unacceptable.
WHUMP!
At last, the camel dropped to its knees.
Jin Yigang pressed his forehead to the beast's, eyes locked with its eyes.
“I won, didn't I? Admit it, you bastard.”
GWUUUAAAGH.
“Good. Now I'm going to ride you.”
Jin Yigang lifted his head first. Then he released his left hand, kept his grip on the reins with his right, and sidled along the camel's body while staying pressed against it. Then he sprang up and dropped neatly into the seat behind the hump.
GRUUUK!
The camel bolted upright and reared its forelegs into the air.
“Down, I said—!”
Jin Yigang yanked the reins and shouted, and the camel slowly lowered its forelegs.
“Old man.”
Jin Yigang called out to Poi Rap.
“What is it?”
“How do you ride this thing?”
“Why would you climb on top of a beast you cannot ride?”
“I figured if I didn't ride it while it was still beaten, I might never get another chance. So I just hopped on.”
“It is much like riding a horse. Move your body with the camel's rhythm and you will do fine.”
“So it's about the same as a horse.”
“That it is.”
“Got it. Let's go.”
“Without a saddle, you will chafe your backside and thighs raw.”
“My hide's tougher than rock. I'll manage. Say — this thing's got a funny walk. Both legs on the same side move together. Is that normal?”
“It is. Does it not make you dizzy?”
Poi Rap tilted his head.
“Nah. Let's go.”
Jin Yigang gave the reins a light flick.
The camel began to walk, slow and steady.
Dududududu!
“Out of the way!”
Just then, someone barked furiously.
Jin Yigang turned his head toward the voice. A man in a robe that left one shoulder bare was glaring daggers in his direction. His swarthy skin and coarse, hard-cut features made it plain at a glance that he was no man of the Central Plains.
GRUUUK!
Startled, the camel twisted sharply around.
Jin Yigang's balance gave out, and he toppled clean off the beast.
THUD!
“Ugh.”
Jin Yigang groaned.
WHUMP!
The camel charged back at him and slammed its forelegs into the ground right in front of him, halting dead — kicking a face full of sand over Jin Yigang for good measure.
“Who are you?”
Jin Yigang asked.
“I am Irab Dahan, of the Great Desert Sand Blood Family.”
“I'm…….”
“I have no interest in knowing, so spare me the introduction. All you need to do is never mount that camel again.”
“And why exactly can't I ride it?”
“Because a Talca is no camel for worthless trash to be riding. Lay a hand on that Talca one more time, and I will kill you.”
Irab Dahan delivered the threat coldly, then drove his own camel away.
“Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine.”
Jin Yigang got to his feet, beating the sand from his clothes.
“Come here, you.”
He called the camel over.
The camel eyed him sidelong, making no move to approach.
“Guess that wasn't enough for you, huh?”
Jin Yigang raised his right fist.
GRUUUK.
The camel came straight up to him.
“Sit.”
When Jin Yigang flattened his palm and pressed downward, the camel sank onto its foreknees. He swung himself aboard at once.
The moment he settled in, the camel rose.
He said he would kill you.
A sound transmission brushed against his ear just then.
Jin Yigang turned the camel around. Irab Dahan was glaring in his direction.
“Still running that mouth, you motherfucker.”
Jin Yigang snorted, wheeled the camel around, and rode off.