Damn, You're a Worse Bastard Than Me (2)
Padun clenched his fists as he watched Jin Yigang come charging at him. He was so grateful he could have wept. His left leg was in bad shape, and he couldn't unfold his footwork properly. If he'd had to chase his opponent down in this condition, the fight would have turned against him — but the man had come to him all on his own. It couldn't have worked out better.
I'll finish this in one blow.
Padun's eyes went cold.
He could see Jin Yigang hoisting his club high overhead.
He'll swing for the upper body, no question.
Whoosh!
In that instant, Jin Yigang hurled the club.
"Gah!"
Padun was startled. And not only him — the onlookers who had been watching with amused interest now stared at Jin Yigang in disbelief. The weapon had been borrowed from him, with a gift of roast duck thrown in as a sweetener on top. And now the man had simply thrown it away. It defied comprehension.
"His right leg," someone murmured.
"Aargh!"
A scream tore out of Padun's mouth. He had lifted his right leg to dodge the thrown club, and a searing pain shot up from the stab wound — a violent, burning agony, as if the knife were carving out the flesh all over again. The pain instantly shattered his center of balance.
The moment his body tipped, Jin Yigang's fist came flying in.
There's no way you can block me like this.
Even with his balance gone, Padun thrust out his right fist. Both fists hurtled toward each other's jaws.
THUD!
THUD!
Twin dull cracks exploded from their jaws. The first to fall was Padun.
As Padun crumpled to the ground, Jin Yigang toppled over right on top of him. Padun, who had blacked out for an instant, came to immediately.
I... I actually...
Poke!
Something jabbed him in the ribs, and he opened his eyes. Jin Yigang's face was right there in front of him, watching him with his eyes still open.
I lost again?
Padun couldn't believe it. He had distinctly felt the impact of a heavy blow. At that force, his jawbone should have shattered. And yet the man showed no sign of pain at all.
"Padun didn't raise his inner power," someone was saying.
"If he had..."
"Gu-chil's jaw would have been smashed to pieces."
"So he knew Gu-chil had no inner power, and deliberately fought him with pure strength alone."
"Looks like it."
"He didn't seem like much, but he's a decent one."
"Let's go."
Cheon Pae and his party rose from their seats and filed outside.
"You bear of a man, you owe me a drink," Jin Yigang said.
"Why the hell should I buy you a drink, you punk?" Padun roared.
"Thanks to me just now, you got branded as a scared little bastard with a heart of gold."
"I've always had a heart of gold, you punk."
"That woman earlier said the Twin-Ten Squad was trash, you know."
"Which woman?"
"The one built like a feast."
"Her name isn't 'built like a feast.' It's Cheol Ran."
A woman's voice came from behind them.
"So you didn't leave."
Jin Yigang sat up as he spoke.
"The one who called you trash was you, Gu-chil. As I recall, I called you a valuable resource."
"Not me, but this bastard here is definitely trash."
Padun sat up as well.
"Why?"
"He poisoned Amira."
"I didn't poison her. That thief laid hands on my things, that's all. So, did you cut her finger off?"
"Nearly did."
"What kind of answer is 'nearly'? You either cut it or you didn't."
"She ate an antidote and cured herself, you punk."
"But there isn't an antidote for it."
"What poison doesn't have an antidote?"
"It's not a poison, so there's no antidote."
"......"
"Her name is Amira?"
"Right. She's the Palace Master of Gongson Clan."
"Vicious woman. If it were me, I'd have cut the finger off and chosen to live."
Jin Yigang brushed off his backside, stood, and went back to his own seat. People kept streaming into the mess hall.
"Damn it! You're a worse bastard than me!" Padun bellowed.
"Is your leg all right?" Cheol Ran asked.
"Not a problem, ma'am."
"Stop by the physician's and get some medicine before you go."
Cheol Ran rose and left the mess hall.
"Those ten — they're the army commanders?" Jin Yigang asked, handing his club over to Du Maenggun.
"That's right. And Munin Mihu, the Iron Phoenix you called a man, is the commander of the First Army."
The answer came from Oh Gwang.
Jin Yigang looked at him.
"The man who knows the chronicles of the Jianghu better than anyone is Master Wind Cloud here," Du Maenggun said.
"Hey, Heart-of-Gold. Come over here and have a drink with us," Jin Yigang called to Padun.
"You sneaky son of a bitch! Playing doctor after stabbing me."
Padun grumbled his way over to their table.
"I trained under a physician, so I'm good at it."
"You were a physician?"
"Learned it over someone's shoulder. I botch it half the time and people end up in the ground."
"So what you're saying is you're a quack," Padun said.
"Exactly."
Jin Yigang filled Padun's cup with liquor.
"The commander of the Second Army is Golden Dragon Heavenly Lord Cheon Bok-yang," Oh Gwang continued.
"The one with the wheels?"
Jin Yigang recalled the man. Medium height, shoulders as broad as a door frame, a pair of wheels slung across his chest. The man's angular face had radiated the stubborn rigidity of a career bureaucrat.
"That's him. The commander of the Third Army is Black Mist Blood Guest Jan Yang."
"Is Jan Yang the one who seemed like a drawn sword?"
Jin Yigang pictured the gaunt, skinny frame that gave off such a gloomy air. The first time he'd seen him, he'd had the sensation of standing before a sheathed blade saturated with killing intent. The man would sip his tea in silence, and every so often a cold gleam would flicker through his eyes.
"Right. And the commander of the Fourth Army is Golden Demon Monk Dae-beom, out of Shaolin."
"The handsome one?"
Jin Yigang nodded. Of all the men and women gathered there, the best-looking hadn't been Munin Mihu at all — it had been the Shaolin monk.
"Don't let the pretty face fool you. His heart is colder than a sheet of ice. Some call him the Coldblood Monk."
"And the Fifth Army?"
"Green Forest Iron Empress Dae Ryeo-gun. Dae Ryeo-gun wields a saber."
"Ah, that woman."
Jin Yigang nodded. The utterly unremarkable-looking woman came to mind.
"She looks ordinary, but she's the Grandmaster of the Green Forest who once ruled the whole Green Forest bandit world."
"So she's a terrifying woman, is what you're saying."
"She is. The commander of the Sixth Army is Painted-Face Phantom Empress Sasa."
"The woman whose face gave off a seven-colored glow."
"That face is how she earned the name Painted-Face Phantom Empress. Her weapon is the Myriad Poison Ink-Scale Whip, one of the Absolute Ten Weapons. And the commander of the Seventh Army is Black Dragon Divine Lord Cheon Pae."
"Only two left."
"The one with the spear is the commander of the Eighth Army, Killing Spear Moyong Cheonhu."
Disharmony, Jin Yigang thought to himself.
The spear wielder had been a single man — and remarkably short. Maybe it was because of his height, but something about him had felt sinister, as if he were hiding something.
"The commander of the Ninth Army is Nine Abyss Demon Wolf Nang Baek. He wields a sickle called the Heavenly Wolf Demon Sickle. The Heavenly Wolf Demon Sickle is also one of the Absolute Ten Weapons."
"You keep saying 'Absolute Ten Weapons' — don't tell me all ten of their weapons are on that list?"
"They are. Munin Mihu's Formless Demon Sword, Cheon Bok-yang's Sun Moon Twin Wheels, Jan Yang's Mangled Silk Sword, Dae-beom's Hundred-Eight Asura Prayer Beads, Dae Ryeo-gun's Cruel White Asura Saber, Sasa's Myriad Poison Ink-Scale Whip, Cheon Pae's Heaven-Conquering Blood Axe, Moyong Cheonhu's Demon Thunder, Nang Baek's Heavenly Wolf Demon Sickle, and Cheol Ran's Thunder Mallet — together, they're called the Absolute Ten Weapons. And those ten commanders together are known as the Ten Weapons Ten Heroes."
"How do they compare to the Hidden Dragon Ten Talents?" Jin Yigang asked.
"You know the Hidden Dragon Ten Talents?"
"I know two of them. Bukgung Hansang and Gung Yo."
"More people rate the Ten Weapons Ten Heroes a cut above the Hidden Dragon Ten Talents."
"I suppose that reputation comes from carrying such fine weapons?"
"That's not entirely wrong, either."
Just then, Amira and some twenty other members of the Twin-Ten Squad came pouring into the mess hall. The moment Amira spotted Jin Yigang, she bolted toward him like an arrow.
"You little bastard!"
"Lay a finger on me and this time the Itch Powder goes down your clothes."
Amira froze in her tracks.
Itch Powder did no lasting harm to one's life, but it was a poison that triggered convulsive, uncontrollable itching. Scratch and scratch until you bled, they said, and the itch wouldn't fade. On ordinary skin that was bad enough, but if it got anywhere near your private parts — well, at that point you were simply dead.
"Go get your food and eat it," Jin Yigang said.
Amira glared daggers at him, then stalked off toward the serving line. A little later, the Twin-Ten Squad members came over with their trays.
"That square-jawed man over there is Mad Martial Son Go I-gyeok. If I had to sum him up in one phrase, I'd say he's a man obsessed with martial arts."
Oh Gwang was still doing the narrating.
"Who's that sleazy-looking fellow over there?"
"Lust-Blood Demon Claw Eum Han-mu. Though I'm curious — how did you know he's a master of the lust arts?"
"I can feel it."
"You can feel it?"
"Take enough medicine and you just know these things."
"......"
"What about that woman who looks like she's got a chip on her shoulder?"
"Spark Demon Baek Gun-ryeong isn't frustrated, she's just angry, you idiot."
"Anger is a form of frustration. I'll just call her Frustrated from now on."
"What about that plate-faced one over there?"
He pointed at a woman whose face was covered in scars. There were so many that her original features had been worn away entirely.
"Cold-Faced Rakshasa Ju Chuchu. You going to give her a nickname too?"
"Iron Nerve."
"Iron Nerve?"
"No one could press a blade to their own face unless they were that ruthless."
Ju Chuchu, who had been eating her meal, stopped mid-motion and looked at Jin Yigang.
"Dying is harder than living, isn't it?"
"......"
"What's the deal with that guy eating alone over there, all by his lonesome?"
"Iron Armor Body Jin Ri. Her nickname is the Stinky Captain."
"Stinky Captain?"
"She's been in that armor for ten years. Hasn't taken it off once."
"Must reek, then?"
"That's why nobody goes anywhere near her. She even sleeps in a dugout outside the barracks, all by herself."
"Not Stinky Captain — Lonely Captain. She wins the loneliness prize."
"Lonely Captain?"
"She doesn't wash so that nobody can come near her, doesn't she?"
"She doesn't wash to keep people away?"
"That's my theory. And that ink-soaked old gentleman — what's his name?"
"Phantom Scholar Chae Gyeong. He's steeped in learning, just like you said. Held an official post, too. But how did you know he was a scholar?"
"I do a bit of physiognomy on the side. Let's nickname that old man Inkwell."
"What about me? Do I get one?"
"You're a former constable. So — Constable."
"You're really a fortune-teller, aren't you?"
Du Maenggun asked, wide-eyed. He had worked as a constable in his younger days. The pay was pathetic and the work was brutal, so he'd quit — and regretted it many times since.
And Jin Yigang had dug all of that up on his own.
"Then what about me?" Oh Gwang said.
"Fortune-teller."
"You really are a ghost."
Oh Gwang clicked his tongue in disbelief. His former profession really had been fortune-telling.
When the meal was over, the squad headed back to the barracks.
Jin Yigang went to his spot, leaned against the storage shelf, and opened a book.
"Is that one of those third-rate martial arts manuals?" Du Maenggun asked.
"Yep."
Jin Yigang nodded.
"Then what's that supposed to be?"
He pointed at the object climbing the wall like a chimney, straight up toward the ceiling.
"It's a flue."
"A flue!"
"Set a stove down below and it lines up with the flue perfectly."
"So it's a flue for heating the barracks, in other words?"
"That's right."
As he answered, the door swung open and several squad members came in hauling two enormous stoves and a load of briquettes.
They lowered one stove beneath the flue and pushed it into place. Just like that, a heating system sprang into existence. They installed the second stove at the far end of the room, fed it kindling, and got a fire going; once the flames had taken hold, they added dozens of fist-sized briquettes.
As the briquettes burned, the heat began to warm the inside of the barracks.
"Looks like I'll be sleeping warm tonight."
Jin Yigang grinned.
And so the first night of enlistment deepened.