The Most Comfortable Seat in the World
Staring closely at the reed thicket, he came face to face with two points of black gleam. There was no way a beast would be here. And even if there were, no beast had pupils that large.
The distance to those eyes was a pace and a half.
Close enough that even in the dark, he couldn't help but see everything.
"You—you……?"
"If you scream, people might come running."
The figure crouched in the reeds was Jin Yigang, in disguise.
He had hidden on this hill for the same reason Ji Yak-ran had: the reeds offered good cover, and the elevation made it easy to spot enemies approaching. Then a woman had climbed up to relieve herself.
Ji Yak-ran, pants still down and still unable to stand, could only glare at him.
"Finish what you were doing."
Jin Yigang said it as he sat up and shifted sideways.
"Would you look away, please?"
Ji Yak-ran said after steadying herself.
"Why bother with modesty when I'm a dead man walking anyway?"
"Because the most comfortable seat in this world is the one you take for a piss."
"Fine, then."
Jin Yigang moved away.
"So, what do you think?"
Ji Yak-ran asked while finishing what she'd started.
"About what?"
"The fire you set at Wihae."
"If it had been one or two of you, I might've managed something. But there were too many. Did it work?"
"A lot of them will have died."
"And they'll be furious."
"Probably."
"Is there a way for me to survive?"
"Come with me, and you'll live."
"And who are you?"
"Ji-wang, the Wisdom King."
"The ruler of Hubei and Hunan?"
"That's right."
Ji Yak-ran stood and pulled up her pants as she spoke.
"Why would going with you mean I survive?"
"You're speaking down to a king, you know."
"I'm a bit like that."
"Resentful of martial artists, are we?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because a martial artist cost you the life you should have had."
"How do you know about me?"
"I even know you placed first in the Imperial Examination."
"Then you know everything. I asked — do you resent martial artists?"
"……"
"Aren't you going to answer?"
"Answer to what?"
"Why going with me means you live."
"The nine of us made a bet."
"A bet on whoever catches me wins?"
"A million nyang each."
"So they figured I'm carrying the map to the Invincible Fist King's Earth in Funiu."
"Do you have it?"
"Yeah. But it's in here."
Jin Yigang tapped his own head.
"Even without that, I've decided to take you there alive, so you don't need to rack your brain."
"Then I can take these out, huh."
Jin Yigang pulled all the reeds tucked into his clothing.
"Smart as ever, I see."
"You're talking about the reeds I had stuck in my clothes?"
"Well, it's not something just anyone would think of."
"That's because I'm weak, not because I'm clever."
"You think so?"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Liquor?"
"People who smell of alcohol in their urine are rare."
"I drink quite a bit."
"Drinking even out on a battlefield…… That's a sickness. A condition you drown in drink — a case of obstructed meridians, if I've ever seen one."
"Did you study medicine for the exams too?"
"I spent five years at the Jecheon Medical Manor, remember?"
"Lingering at a medical clan doesn't mean you know every symptom and remedy for obstructed meridians."
"A Geomseonin doesn't have anything to do besides take pills. Reading was already a habit for me."
Swish! Swish-swish! Swish-swish!
Then women dropped down around Ji Yak-ran. Disciples of the Phoenix Divine Maiden Sect.
"How's the other side?"
Ji Yak-ran asked.
"About half of them appear to be dead, Your Highness."
The woman reporting was Du Cheon-hwa, the Lotus Jade Maiden, commander of the Iron Phoenix Squad.
"So many dead."
Ji Yak-ran looked at Jin Yigang.
"You're the ones who attacked us, remember."
"How insolent, you wretch!"
Du Cheon-hwa shouted.
Jin Yigang stared straight at her.
"What exactly is insolent about it?"
he asked.
"She is a king."
"Your king. Not mine."
"You shameless……"
Du Cheon-hwa's hand closed on her sword's hilt.
"Draw that sword and you die here."
Jin Yigang's eyes went cold.
"You dare, someone who doesn't even know martial arts……"
A thick killing intent seeped from Du Cheon-hwa's body.
"Even if your mouth gets torn, you ought to speak properly. I lack internal force, not martial knowledge. And if I went all out, it wouldn't be hard to take you along as my companion to the afterlife. If you doubt it, go ahead and test me."
Jin Yigang drew the dagger the old woman had given him.
'That dagger—?'
Ji Yak-ran's eyes went wide the moment she saw the blade in his hand.
"That's enough."
"Your Highness!"
Du Cheon-hwa whirled toward Ji Yak-ran.
"He's someone I need."
"Understood."
Du Cheon-hwa bowed her head. Then she looked at Jin Yigang.
"You got lucky, whelp."
"That's my line. Just consider yourself pardoned for today."
"Why, you……"
"I'm not finished. Just because you seized the throne by force doesn't mean the people will call you 'Majesty' or 'Highness.' Oh, sure, they'll say it to your face. But that's fear, not reverence — they don't actually think of you as emperors or kings. The moment your backs are turned, they curse you. Call you upstarts who slapped on an armband and started strutting."
"……"
Du Cheon-hwa could only glare at Jin Yigang, unable to draw her sword.
"When do we leave?"
Ji Yak-ran asked him.
"Where's the meeting place?"
"The Funiu Inn, at the entrance of the Funiu Mountains."
"Then let's head out once my companions arrive."
"You think I'll allow that?"
"Yeah."
Jin Yigang nodded.
"……"
"Do you know why I entered the Jecheon Medical Manor?"
"No."
"To die."
"……"
"I didn't have the courage to kill myself. So I took everything they handed me there. Call it cursed luck — five years of gulping down poisons like a madman, and I'm still hale and hearty. If anyone wants to finish me off, they're welcome to any day of the week."
"Then why did you draw a dagger in front of the squad commander just now?"
"That was the least I could do — my last flailing at this world."
"So it hurts less to be wronged if you go down swinging, is that it?"
"Maybe. Anyway, wait until my companions come."
Jin Yigang leaned back against a tree and rummaged through his pouch. Soon he tossed a single pill into his mouth.
"What medicine is that?"
Ji Yak-ran asked.
"Tусhiryeong-hwan — the Night-Piercing Pill."
"If it's that pill, then……"
"Take it long enough and night looks bright as noon."
"How long have you been taking it?"
"Five years, same as everything else."
"So that means……"
Ji Yak-ran's face twisted as she remembered their earlier encounter.
"My eyes have been getting a little weak, that's all."
"You—?"
Ji Yak-ran glared at Jin Yigang.
Ignoring her entirely, Jin Yigang worked his jaw, chewing hard.
"Getting the carriage through won't be easy yet, will it?"
he asked, gesturing at the reed thicket.
"The men could manage somehow, but the horses can't."
"We'll have to wait until morning, then."
Jin Yigang slipped into the reeds, found a spot, and lay down.
"Aren't you all hiding too?"
he called, sinking into the grass.
"Why should we hide?"
"No sense advertising that you've caught me, is there?"
"You think they'd actually attack us?"
"Eight million nyang is no small sum. Plus a map to the Invincible Fist King's Earth on top of that……"
"……Conceal yourselves."
Ji Yak-ran ordered Du Cheon-hwa.
"Yes, Your Highness."
Du Cheon-hwa gave the order at once, and the Iron Phoenix Squad melted into the dark. Ji Yak-ran came and lay down beside Jin Yigang.
"Afraid I'll run?"
"Yeah."
"You're escorting me all the way to the Funiu Mountains — what reason would I have to run?"
"Watching you even if it's uncomfortable is better than regretting it after you've fled."
"Fair enough. Sleep deep tonight — you might not get to after this."
"You mean they'll attack at night?"
"If I were them, I would."
Jin Yigang closed his eyes. And soon he was asleep.
"Lucky him, falling asleep so fast."
Ji Yak-ran looked at him with envy.
Sleep came slowly to her. There had been nights she'd waited for it until dawn broke.
"You overthink things."
Jin Yigang murmured, half asleep-talking.
"You weren't asleep?"
"Maybe because it's my first time sleeping next to a woman — my mouth keeps watering."
"Do I look like food to you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Otherwise why would I be drooling! And we are not sleeping together!"
"Lying right beside you is sleeping together. And I don't know why my mouth waters either. Now I'm really going to sleep."
Before long, even breathing issued from Jin Yigang's nose.
The carriage arrived before dawn.
Waiting for it, Jin Yigang walked over.
"Thought we'd lost you, you rascal."
Mu Daebo said, grinning wide.
"The Jecheon Medical Manor's poisons couldn't kill me. This doesn't even scratch it."
Jin Yigang climbed up onto the driver's seat.
"Tougher than a whale's gullet, this one."
Yu Bong-ji said with a smile.
"That's me."
"Who is that woman?"
Je Hayeong approached and asked.
"She'll be escorting us to the entrance of the Funiu Mountains."
"She's……"
"The Wisdom King, she says."
"The Wisdom King?"
Je Hayeong's eyes widened. She went straight to Ji Yak-ran and bowed her head.
"A pleasure to meet you. I am Je Hayeong of the Jecheon Medical Manor."
"Likewise."
"May I ask what you mean by escorting us—"
"To be precise, I'm escorting him. But he insisted on climbing into the driver's seat, so here I am traveling with the rest of you."
"Why would you escort him……"
"Because of the map inside his head."
Jin Yigang said.
"You told them—"
Je Hayeong was quick on the uptake. She grasped the situation at once.
"Every king in the land is converging on us. We'd be slaughtered before we ever reached our destination. This is the best way."
"Understood."
Je Hayeong nodded.
"Have you all rested?"
Jin Yigang asked.
"We have."
"Then we leave at once."
"Yes."
Je Hayeong nodded and turned to Na Seok-jin.
"Move out!"
At Na Seok-jin's command, they set off at once.