Put Some Muscle Into It, You Rascals (2)
Third-Rate (2) — Put Some Muscle Into It, You Rascals (2)
“Aargh! Damn it! This hurts like hell.”
Jin Yigang opened his eyes. The first thing that greeted him was a ceiling carved with all manner of strange patterns.
“Been a while, old ceiling.”
He smiled faintly. It had been just shy of five years since he'd first come here — beaten black and blue until his whole body swelled, poisoned half to death, dragged in looking no different from a corpse.
And then, once he'd healed, he'd walked right back out.
“Long time no see.”
An old man with a face full of wrinkles grinned at him. This was Gu Ham, who cheerfully introduced himself as a third-rate quack doctor.
“You can say that again.”
Jin Yigang pushed himself up.
“Ugh!”
A groan escaped him before he could stop it. Slicing pain flooded through every inch of his body. He flinched for a moment, then flopped back down.
“Hurts quite a bit, does it?”
“Give me medicine.”
“Medicine?”
“That bastard Yi Seung will be along any minute, won't he?”
“Which means…….”
“You want me to ask for the Hocheon Divine Pills, obviously.”
“Got it.”
Gu Ham brought back pills the size of a pinky nail.
“How many?”
“Ten.”
Jin Yigang dumped them all into his mouth at once.
“You idiot, you eat all of those and you'll die.”
“My dying wish is to gorge on elixirs until I drop. Tastes like shit, though.”
Scowling at the bitter taste, Jin Yigang swallowed them down.
“Good medicine is supposed to taste bitter, you fool.”
“Anyway, these lunatics really did a number on me.”
“From what I heard, it wasn't the lunatics who did you in — it was you who did yourself in…….”
“I only cursed because that pervert asked me to curse at him.”
“Asked or not, you told the Tagwaek his life was a garbage dump. You think a man's lid doesn't blow off after that?”
“Old man.”
“Talk.”
“You know what's good about a beating?”
“There's a good part?”
“Both the one swinging and the one taking it feel great afterward.”
“…….”
“I got word the results came out. First place.”
“You mean the imperial examination?”
Gu Ham asked. Rumors had circulated that Jin Yigang had passed, but the man himself had never once said it out loud.
“Yeah. Truth is, the palace examination held before the Emperor isn't even a real exam. It's a formality — the rankings are decided in advance. They said I was the Zhuangyuan. The people of my village pooled their money and even built a Zhuangyuan Arch in my honor. On the day I left for the palace, they held a farewell ceremony in front of it — and that was the very day word spread that the empire had been overturned.”
“Tsk!”
“It took me three years to accept that. I thought I'd forgotten all about it. Apparently not.”
“With a head that good, why didn't you do something else with it?”
“A man who spent twenty years reciting Confucius this and Mencius that — what do you think he could actually do?”
“Still, the Geomseonin gig is one where you pay with your body, isn't it? Your life's on the line.”
“Paying with my body was the only thing I had left.”
“A man who did nothing but study his whole life, now paying with his body. That makes even less sense.”
“The first condition for studying well is a strong body. Doesn't matter how smart you are — if your stamina can't back it up, you can't study. So back then, I hunted for one hour every single day, rain or shine.”
“Hunting?”
“You need meat to build stamina.”
“Fair enough.”
“Hunting, digging up herbs and eating them — that's how my body got strong. But all I had was stamina. I didn't know how to do a single useful thing. For a man like that, a job that just pays you to stand still? The Geomseonin position was the best job in the world.”
“Did you never consider you might die?”
“The notice never said anything about dying.”
“But plenty of people died in here anyway. The survivors all left the moment their contracts ended. You didn't leave. Back then, I thought you were trying to die.”
“I was.”
“…….”
“You know what happens when you place first in the imperial examination?”
“No.”
“You can take any post you want. Want the Hanlin Academy, the most prestigious office? Done. Want one of the Six Ministries? Done. The Imperial Guard's Five Army Command, provincial posts — no need to even ask. The most powerful positions in the empire, yours for the wanting. All I had to do was wish for it. Work hard for ten, fifteen years, and I could have become the head of at least one of the Six Ministries. And it all vanished in a single day. If you were in my shoes, old man, could you just shrug it off with a ‘fuck it! These things happen, I suppose’?”
“It's not too late even now.”
“For what?”
“I'll kill you for you. Just with this…….”
Gu Ham picked up a blade and took a stabbing stance.
“Have you lost your mind, old man? Yi Seung's coming.”
Jin Yigang shot to his feet.
“Lie back down.”
“That's why they call you a quack.”
Creeeak!
Just then came the sound of the main door opening.
Gu Ham looked at Jin Yigang. Gu Ham hadn't heard a single footstep. But Jin Yigang had heard them long ago, and had already risen.
“You……?”
“I've taken more Cheonriji Cheonghwan than anyone could count.”
“Cheonriji Cheonghwan?”
“The medicine that succeeded in production thanks to me. They're raking in thousands of nyang a month off that stuff, I'd bet.”
“Physician Gu, I've arrived.”
Yi Seung's voice followed shortly after.
“You may come in.”
Jin Yigang said.
The door opened and Yi Seung stepped inside.
“My wages, please.”
Jin Yigang held out his hand.
“Wages?”
“Surely not even a single day has passed?”
“Tell me your condition first.”
“I took ten Hocheon Divine Pills all at once a little while ago. I couldn't even lift my body at the time, but as you can see, now…….”
Jin Yigang sprang to his feet.
The blanket covering him slid down in a heap.
“Old man!”
Jin Yigang glared at Gu Ham. His lower half was in its original, natural state — but of all the things an adult man ought to have, one was missing. His pubic hair.
Its disappearance was a side effect of the poisons he'd taken as a test subject. At first, even the hair on his head had all fallen out, but as he built resistance to the toxins, it grew back. His armpits and groin, however, never did.
“Well, at least it makes the Daebo unmistakably clear. Honestly, at that size you could show it off proudly, couldn't you?”
“Still, this is going too far. Give me my underclothes.”
“Here.”
Gu Ham tossed them over, and Jin Yigang dressed quickly. Then he gave Yi Seung a detailed account of his symptoms, and Yi Seung recorded every word.
“The Hocheon Divine Pills are finished, so…….”
Yi Seung stared at him steadily.
“Surely you're not suggesting I take the Gangsinhwan?”
“You do all that, and you get paid, they say.”
“Skinflint.”
Jin Yigang pursed his lips. Yi Seung had clearly already collected the payment. He was simply withholding Jin Yigang's wages until the work was done.
“Two days!”
Jin Yigang said.
He was talking about his leave.
“Two whole days?”
“You shorted me a day last time, didn't you?”
“……Hmph! Start right now, and I'll give you two.”
“I'll get dressed and follow you, so wait outside.”
“Understood.”
Yi Seung went out.
“Give me a binlang.”
Jin Yigang held out his hand to Gu Ham.
“What for?”
“Crack one in my mouth and it looks like blood, doesn't it?”
“So all this time, you've been…….”
“If you bleed from the mouth in a fight, it counts as a loss, right? After that, they either stop hitting you, or hit you gently.”
“Hahaha! So that's what this was for.”
Gu Ham held up a mesh pouch. It was what he'd fished out of Jin Yigang's mouth.
“That's right.”
“Anyway.”
Gu Ham quickly packed the binlang into the mesh pouch for him. Jin Yigang popped it into his mouth and headed outside.
Before long, he entered the chamber where he'd been beaten unconscious by the Five Fists of Jecheon. Inside, there was one new addition besides the iron chains — a frame resembling a torture rack. Jin Yigang stripped off his clothes and lay down on it. Four men stood around the frame, a club in each of their hands.
Clank! Clank!
Yi Seung bound his arms and legs.
The restraints were there to keep Jin Yigang from injuring himself. The Gangsinhwan was known to the outside world as nothing more than a muscle-strengthening medicine — but that was only the public story. In truth, it was an amplification pill that strengthened both muscle and internal force.
“Ah! Open up.”
Yi Seung approached and said.
Jin Yigang opened his mouth.
Yi Seung dropped an acorn-sized pill inside.
“So bitter! A little sweetness would make it better.”
“Sweetness?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you just speak down to me?”
“A man who could die any day should be left to do as he pleases.”
“Still, you brat…….”
“Your liver hasn't even noticed that one.”
“One more?”
“Five.”
“That's too many, you brat.”
“The more medicine, the better. Are you giving them to me or not?”
“Five?”
“I've built up resistance, haven't I? So shouldn't I take more than a first-timer would?”
“Then you'd better take ten.”
Yi Seung poured the Gangsinhwan into Jin Yigang's mouth.
“Got any honey?”
“You're talking nonsense now.”
“Here it comes. Uuurgh!”
Jin Yigang's torso bent like a drawn bow.
Tendons and muscles bulged out from his contorted body.
“Pour it!”
At Yi Seung's shout, one of the men poured a strange liquid over Jin Yigang's body. It was Gangsin-liquid, a solution that hardened the skin.
“Strike!”
“Chaha!”
“Taha!”
“Yap!”
The waiting men swung their clubs in unison.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
“Ugh! Kgh!”
Screams tore out of Jin Yigang's mouth.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! THUD!
The four men hammered his torso in perfect rhythm.
“Speak up!”
Yi Seung shouted.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
“Ugh! Nngh!”
“Does it hurt?”
“Of course it hurts, damn it! If it didn't hurt, would I be human? No — even a beast would be scared shitless, it, it hurts, you, you bastard.”
“This brat's mouth is still alive. Hit him harder.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Taha!”
“Chaha!”
“Haa!”
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
“Khegh! Aghk! Uuurgh!”
“Blood's coming from his mouth!”
One of the men striking him shouted.
“Stop!”
At Yi Seung's cry, the club-wielders halted all at once.
“How is it?”
This time he asked the men with the clubs.
“Remarkably springy, sir.”
“You didn't feel anything like rebound?”
“Not at all.”
“Douse him in Gangsin-liquid and start again.”
“Understood.”
SPLASH!
Whoosh! Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh!
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
“Graaagh! Aaagh! Uraaaaaagh!”
'Damn it, and no binlang either…….'
Jin Yigang muttered inwardly. He stole a glance at the men swinging the clubs. Sweat was streaming down their faces.
'Yi Seung, you idiot. They've been at this for five years already — what's the point of using weaklings like these? Then again, how long has it been?'
Jin Yigang shifted his gaze to the hourglass set off to one side. The one-hour glass was nearly run out.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
“Huh?”
The man swinging the club flinched in shock. Suddenly, his club had rebounded as though he'd slammed it down on solid timber.
He turned his head.
Just then, the man beside him happened to look over as well.
—It bounced?
the man asked.
—Yeah.
—This guy really has no internal force at all, right?
—A man who learned third-rate martial arts can't have internal force. Obviously.
—And that guy withstood our Jecheon club-beating?
—Didn't he pass out from the Cheonchu Five Fists' beating?
—And if we can't knock him out……?
—Then we're completely humiliated.
“Put some muscle into it, you rascals.”
“You little…….”