You Don't Mess With a Dead Man Walking (1)
"We have to move."
Je Hayeong said, looking over the group.
"If we're moving, doesn't that make defending ourselves harder?"
Jin Yigang asked.
"We have to reach Namchang first, where the Jecheon outpost is."
"Namchang's in southern Henan, isn't it?"
"That's right. Three days from here."
Je Hayeong nodded.
"Will you two help us?"
Jin Yigang turned to Bukgung Hansang and Gung Yo with his request.
"And what do we get out of it?"
Bukgung Hansang asked.
"If there's a map leading into the Invincible Fist King's domain, my condition is that I bring you two along when we go in. That's all."
"What gives you the right to make that call?"
"A servant doesn't defy her master."
"Servant? Who exactly are you calling a servant?"
"Pavilion Master Je Hayeong and her twin sister Je Chuyeong are both servants of my good friend Daebo here."
"Ugh…"
Bukgung Hansang looked back and forth between Je Hayeong and Mu Daebo, utterly dumbfounded.
"Hey, you bastard! What the hell are you saying?"
Mu Daebo bellowed.
He had heard Je Hayeong's oath, sure, but the thought of using it as leverage to claim the two women as servants had never once crossed his mind.
"An oath is sacred, you idiot. A promise made must be kept even with a blade at your throat. If the two of you break your oath, it's not just your honor that crumbles — the honor of the Jecheon Medical Manor falls with it. And a house that lives and dies on its reputation would be ruined. Wouldn't you say?"
Jin Yigang asked, looking at Je Hayeong.
He had firmly resolved to marry Mu Daebo off at this very opportunity.
"I will keep the oath I swore."
Je Hayeong bit her lip and nodded. A promise was a promise. Even if he had only saved her by chance, there was no denying that Mu Daebo had destroyed the Five Vices of Heavenly Cripples.
"And Lady Chuyeong?"
Jin Yigang looked at Je Chuyeong.
"Yes."
Je Chuyeong nodded.
"Settled, then?"
Jin Yigang looked at Bukgung Hansang and Gung Yo.
"It's you, isn't it."
Mu Daebo said.
"What is?"
Jin Yigang asked.
"Monstrous Beast Striking Evil Sim Bul-won died to a stone. Faceless Demonic Evil Si Byeok got hit by a stone. One-Legged Crippled Evil Gwang Saeng got hit by a stone. Single-Arm Wicked Evil Bu Ilbi died to a stone, and Single-Handed Secret Evil Noe Cho died to a stone too, you brat."
"Huh?"
Jin Yigang's eyes went wide.
Come to think of it, Mu Daebo was right. Whatever the process had been, every single one of their deaths had been sealed with a rock.
"See, I'm right. So—"
"Hey, hold on. Come here a second."
Jin Yigang grabbed Mu Daebo by the nape and dragged him off to a corner.
"What, you brat!"
"Don't you want to get married?"
"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"
"Then what's your problem?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm working my ass off to set you up, and you keep throwing sand on the fire, you idiot. That's why you're still alone at your age."
"No way, man."
"Not to your taste?"
"It's not about taste. There's someone else."
"Who? You mean you actually like someone?"
"Yeah."
"…Is it something that could actually happen?"
"Honestly, I don't know."
"You're not just staring up a tree you could never climb, are you?"
"Maybe…"
"Can't you just live like a realist for once?"
"You're too young to understand, kid, but the heart doesn't do what you tell it."
"…"
"Hey, you two."
Just then, Je Hayeong called out to Jin Yigang and Mu Daebo.
The two men turned their heads.
"My pride just took a brutal beating, in case you were wondering. Let's drop it and get ready to move."
"Understood. Let's go, you idiot."
Jin Yigang started walking. The two of them went to the front of the wagon and took their positions.
"Why are you coming up front?"
Mu Daebo asked, eyeing Jin Yigang.
"I'm allowed up front."
"Says who?"
"Says the guy in this world who's afraid of absolutely nothing."
"What kind of nonsense is that?"
"It means the front line is my seat."
Jin Yigang gave the horse's neck a light pat. Then he took up the reins and headed out. Je Hayeong and Je Chuyeong moved up as well. Torrential rain was pouring down. They hadn't taken more than a few steps before everyone was soaked through.
"Gung Yo, Bukgung — take the left and right flanks."
Jin Yigang called out.
"Got it."
"Got it."
The two shifted into position immediately.
"Chah!"
"Tah!"
"Haa!"
The moment they set out, the forces surrounding the nosuk came at them. Jin Yigang hurled a stone straight ahead. It punched through the downpour and shot forward.
THWACK!
"GRAAAH!"
A hideous scream tore through the rain.
Whoosh!
He flung the stone in his left hand, hopped up onto the driver's bench, and snapped the reins.
CRACK!
Neigh!
The horses whinnied loudly and surged forward. The wet ground kept the wagon from picking up real speed.
"Hyah!"
Jin Yigang kept whipping the reins.
Thwack! Thwack-thwack! Thwack-thwack-thwack!
"GRAAH!"
"AAAGH!"
"UWAAAH!"
Screams began erupting all around. Thanks to Bukgung Hansang and Gung Yo, the enemy was bleeding far more than their own side.
Whoosh!
Jin Yigang bit the reins between his teeth and threw another stone. It struck true, every time. And anyone his stone found never got back up.
"Chah!"
"Tah!"
Je Hayeong and Je Chuyeong, riding at the head of the column, cut down the attackers. The two women's job wasn't the wagon — it was protecting the horses.
"A little farther and we hit the downhill slope! Just five more li!"
Je Hayeong shouted from the front.
"I am Je Hayeong, Master of the Evil Pavilion of the Jecheon Medical Manor!"
She roared again. Announcing her name was a warning to their attackers.
"The Heavenly Physician Wagons carry tribute for the Imperial Court! You are committing treason this very moment!"
They hadn't actually been handed over to the court yet, and they weren't technically tribute either — but she threw out the claim anyway, desperate to break the crisis by any means. The attacks didn't stop.
Shhk!
Something came flying out of the darkness.
"Eep!"
Jin Yigang ducked fast. A projectile of some kind whizzed over his head.
"Chah!"
He swung his left arm toward the spot the projectile had come from. A small stone tore through the rain.
THWACK!
"Kgh!"
"No matter how urgent things get, you don't attack a man with an expiration date, you bastard. Hyah!"
Jin Yigang snapped the reins again.
Stone in hand when throwing; reins in hand when whipping.
But how did I dodge that just now?
Jin Yigang tilted his head.
The only martial art he'd learned in the past five years was the Five Animal Frolics, said to have been devised by the physician Hua Tuo — or more precisely, the Shaolin Five Fist forms.
The Shaolin Five Fists imitated the movements of five animals — dragon, tiger, leopard, snake, and crane — and were called Dragon Fist, Tiger Fist, Leopard Fist, Snake Fist, and Crane Fist.
The explanations for each fist ran on and on, but boiled down, Dragon Fist strengthened the dantian, Tiger Fist built arm strength, Leopard Fist trained the whole body's power, Snake Fist cultivated flexibility, and Crane Fist concentrated qi. It wasn't a martial art at all — just calisthenics.
He'd found that out two years into training the Shaolin Five Fists. Honestly, with a name like Hua Tuo's Five Animal Frolics, the Shaolin Five Fists, anyone would assume it was some profound martial art. Jin Yigang had trained like mad on the strength of the name alone.
Along with the Five Fists, he'd been given — no, not given, merely handed the verse formulas for — an internal cultivation method: the Heaven's Will Six Harmonies Art.
Heaven's Will Six Harmonies Art.
A name that lost nothing to any legendary grand technique.
He'd been convinced that a cultivation method with a name so obviously agonized over couldn't possibly be third-rate.
So he trained it just as hard as the Five Fists.
And two years later, he learned the Heaven's Will Six Harmonies Art was just a variation of the Six Harmonies Fist. In five years, those two things were all he'd learned. When he discovered what they really were, he was disappointed — but since he'd only entered that place to earn money anyway, he didn't dwell on it.
At the Jecheon Medical Manor, the most intensive treatment he received, alongside the drug trials, was acupuncture.
The purpose of the acupuncture was to maximize the cultivation method's effects and, ultimately, to produce an inner core.
From what Jin Yigang could tell, they hadn't actually expected a core to form when they performed the treatments.
They'd simply fed him drugs and driven needles into him because, in theory, that was how a core would form. But no core ever formed — only a tumor.
"Downhill! Tah!"
Jin Yigang whipped the reins with all his strength.
Neigh!
The two horses screamed and bolted.
"Too fast, you idiot!"
Mu Daebo shouted.
"It's do-or-die anyway! Run! RUN!"
Slap! Slap!
Neiiiigh! Neiiiigh!
The horses gave it everything, and the wagon hurtled forward at a terrifying speed.
"Kill the driver!"
As the wagon's speed climbed, the attackers visibly panicked. A few leapt into the air and loosed arrows at Jin Yigang.
Shhk! Shhk-shhk! Shhk!
Thk! Thk!
He dodged two and snatched two out of the air with his bare hands.
"I've lost my mind."
Jin Yigang muttered, staring at his own hand.
"They say a man changes when death comes knocking. Guess that saying's true."
He shook his head and tossed the arrows away. More came flying after that, but he batted them all down.
When killing Jin Yigang failed, they shifted their aim to the horses — but the animals were armored, and that wasn't easy either.
All the while, the wagon ran like the wind. The downhill slope stretched on without a break. The enemy's attacks grew wilder, and the screams piled up one after another.
"Daebo! I'm out of stones!"
Jin Yigang shouted toward Mu Daebo.
"I'm a little busy myself, man!"
"Just pick up a few for me anyway."
He said it with the reins clenched in his teeth.
"Nobody on this earth is better at being a pain in the ass than you."
Mu Daebo scanned the ground as he fought. A stone caught his eye. Size didn't matter — he snatched it up with Vacuum Grasping and flung it toward Jin Yigang.
Zip!
"Give me a dagger too."
Jin Yigang said, catching the stone. It was the size of his own head.
"Grrgh!"
This time Mu Daebo drew a dagger and hurled it the same way.
Jin Yigang caught it, tucked it into his belt, and settled onto the driver's bench. He laid the stone across his knee, drew the dagger, and brought it down hard. Even with his rear end bouncing from the wagon's violent shaking, the motion of his arm was dead accurate.
Crack!
The stone split clean in two.
He pocketed one piece, cut the remainder in half again, and kept going until he had a supply of just the right size. Then he slid the dagger back into its sheath.
"Haaah—!"
Jin Yigang rose to his feet.
The wagon rocked like a little boat in a storm, but he didn't care. The reason he could throw stones with ease even in conditions like these was the relentless practice he'd put in against the Thousand Martial Statues at Thousand Martial Plaza. Passing through those statues had meant throwing punches even as he fell. That experience had made it possible to hurl a rock in any situation imaginable.
He started to throw — then paused.
"Better make these last."
Stone clenched in his right hand, he drove the wagon on.
"There are too many of them! If we keep going like this, we'll be wiped out!"
Mak Hong shouted.
Je Hayeong already knew how bad it was. But she had no clever answer.
"Five more li and we reach open ground! Just five more li!"
Je Hayeong roared.
"Hyah! HYAH!"
Jin Yigang whipped the reins with everything he had.
CRACK! CRUMBLE!
"A tree's coming down! A tree's coming down!"
Ugh.
Jin Yigang's face twisted. A colossal tree, a good ten zhang tall, was toppling across the main road.
"STOP!"
Je Hayeong screamed.
"Like hell. TAH!"
Jin Yigang whipped the reins even harder.