An Ancient Longing (4)
The chaos was overwhelming. Absolute pandemonium. Destruction! No—oblivion! Me! You! All of us, lost in the swirling vortex of pure chaos! The madness was so thick I genuinely couldn’t tell whether the place I was standing in was the conference hall prepared by the Holy See or some twisted den belonging to those damn Chaos Cult lunatics. Not that I’ve ever actually seen their lair, of course. Still, for a group that proudly calls itself the Chaos Cult, you’d expect this level of insanity, right? Or maybe not. Whatever.
“L… Le… Levia, my lady? His Holiness is… your mother? Wh-what on earth are you saying?”
Right in the middle of this chaos was Cheska, half her mind already melted away. Since I hadn’t explained anything beforehand, she seemed to be cooking up some truly ridiculous misunderstanding. Sorry about that.
…Actually, on second thought, maybe I’m not sorry. Because of you, I had to endure hours of Mint lecturing me like I’d committed a war crime! If you’d just believed I was a reincarnator back then, you wouldn’t have dragged me into that bathhouse, you perverted degenerate!
“Levia, I have a question. Should I call her Mother-in-law? Or would Mother-in-law be more accurate?”
And then there was Mint, whispering quietly into my ear so no one else could hear. Was she teasing me? Her eyes looked completely serious, so maybe it wasn’t a joke. Or was she just that good at acting?
“Don’t tell me… everyone knew except me again, right?”
Benika puffed her cheeks out like a chipmunk and was now interrogating the entire former Entat Parish group. She looked seriously sulky. I wondered what the “again” was supposed to mean. Just what exactly happened to you while I was gone, Benika?
After confirming that nearly everyone was staring at me in blank confusion, Benika realized they were all just as clueless as she was and let out a visible sigh of relief. …The hidden truth that literally no one had actually heard her question would remain a secret. I decided not to tell her.
“As expected… I’m truly glad. Levia, you have received the Holy Spear’s recognition. It was only natural.”
I ignored Benedict, who was gazing at me with a deeply moved expression. Or more accurately, I couldn’t afford to pay attention to him. Because right now, the most mentally shattered and confused person in this entire conference room was me.
-KYAAAAH! It’s Master! MASTER!!!! How long has it been since I last touched Master’s cheeks! How long since I last smelled Master’s scent! Huh?! What is this? It feels like Master but… not like Master? Gasp! Did Master get younger?! Huh? Why? Was it necessary? Why though? Weren’t you already young? No way… is the logic that anything younger than a child is even better? No! You can’t have those kind of lolicon thoughts! Bad!
The Holy Spear El-Anat—the exclusive weapon of the Saintess and the very symbol of the Pope—was, shockingly, a weapon with its own ego. An Ego Spear. Wow. It had just been revealed. Mother said she had never mentioned it once in all this time, and she had never even heard that it was an Ego Spear, so… was I witnessing some kind of historic moment right now?
-Anyway, that’s so mean! Why did you only come now?! Do you know how long I’ve been waiting?! Gasp! Don’t tell me you fell for some other human and abandoned me! No! I have never once given my heart to anyone but Master! It’s a misunderstanding! My mind, heart, and body are completely devoted to Master only! Please believe me! Ah…? Maybe not the body…?
During this so-called historic moment, quite a few things were being revealed. The ego of El-Anat was that of a massive pervert. It flexibly wrapped its shaft around my arm, climbed up toward my face, pressed the flat of its blade against me, and started rubbing while spewing all that nonsense. If that wasn’t perverted behavior, I didn’t know what was. Not only did it seem completely unhinged, it was also incredibly loud. Listening to that machine-gun barrage of chatter made me feel like my own mind was about to snap in half. Honestly, was this even a Holy Spear? Shouldn’t it be called a Mad Spear? Why is there not a single normal person around me? Now even the weapons have lost their minds.
-Please don’t abandon me! Master! I’ll be good! I’ll do anything~!
El-Anat shifted the shaft that had been coiled around my arm down to my leg and immediately began spitting out lines that could ruin a person’s dignity in seconds. We literally just met today, you crazy thing! The way it clung to me like it was hanging onto my knee gave me goosebumps. I shook my leg wildly, trying to fling it off.
“Sorry, but I really don’t know you! Get off me!”
-Gasp! Is this the legendary ‘Who are you? How rude to act so familiar’ breakup line I’ve only heard about?! That’s too cruel, Master! Did you forget all our time together?
“I’m telling you I really don’t know you!”
-Aah… I can’t hear Master’s inner voice anymore… Have I been abandoned…?
The blade of El-Anat drooped downward with a pathetic fwump. It looked exactly like an abandoned puppy. Just like how dogs make a sad “whine…” sound, the little bells attached to its body jingled sadly with a soft chink… chink…. This was insane. Holy Spear? More like Deranged Spear.
-Uwaaah! Don’t throw me away! Masteeeer! Uwaaaah!!
Now it was straight-up crying. Good grief. After holding back as long as I could, I finally gave up and asked for help.
“Mom, please send this thing back. I think I’m going to lose my mind too.”
“That’s… I’ve been trying since earlier, but it’s not working. The contract has been severed.”
Excuse me? What did you just say?
-Hah! As if I would ever form a contract with a fake Master when the real one is standing right here! The reason I’ve been standing tall all this time was to build up momentum! So I could greet this day—… But I got abandoned… Hooong…!
Drops of water began flowing from the jewel embedded in El-Anat. That was actually kind of impressive. A spear that cries real tears.
“Gasp! That must be one of the Holy Spear’s abilities—Holy Water generation! To see it in person…!”
Hahaha… so it’s Holy Water. Thanks, Noah. That was truly valuable information I never wanted. Pretty sure Holy Water isn’t supposed to come out like this, though.
But that wasn’t the important part right now. This bastard just insulted my mother right in front of me?
Clang!
I smacked the flat of the blade—what I assumed was the back of its “head.”
“Watch your mouth.”
-This pain! This sensation! This resonance! I’m so happy to meet you again! Is… is this a signal that you’re accepting me back?! Oh my~ If you flirt like this I’ll get embarrassed, Master~
This crazy thing. Or should I say crazy girl? The voice was androgynous so I couldn’t tell. Goddamn it. Since Mother seemed to have no way of dealing with it, I turned to someone else for rescue.
“Unfortunately, that is indeed El-Anat’s true personality,” Benedict said.
So being insane was its default state. Great.
“Since you have received the Holy Spear’s recognition so clearly, all that remains is gaining the support of the other Cardinal and being chosen by the Hero.”
Haha. Once again, I had taken another step closer to becoming the Saintess. How exciting. I wanted to take a step backward, so why did it feel like I was only moving forward? There was that saying from a certain future witch from Mercury: if you run away you gain one, if you advance you gain two. I really did run away and ended up gaining one. Wow. So what happens if I keep moving forward? Will I end up becoming the Saintess, then the Pope, and eventually even a god?
…That actually sounded a little tempting. If I became a god myself, I could finally punch the bastards who dragged me and my parents here straight in their stomachs until their guts exploded.
“Daughter. Stop thinking those kinds of thoughts.”
As I was seriously considering moving forward, Mother spoke up, apparently having heard something from the Goddess. Did you hear that, Goddess? It’s fine. I said it on purpose. What are you going to do about it? It’s not like you gave me my divine power anyway. Go ahead and try to take it back. Bleh.
“She says my head hurts, so stop it.”
“Ah, yes ma’am.”
-Hehe! Even if I can’t read Master’s thoughts anymore, I still know everything! You like me, don’t you! I know you were just embarrassed from our reunion and pretending to be mean! Hehehe…
I thought it had calmed down a bit, but El-Anat was back to spewing nonsense. Or should I say spear-nonsense. It was probably better to just ignore it. I’d leave it alone for now and later slowly explain things and convince it to cancel the contract.
“Enough. Be quiet.”
-Roger that!
El-Anat bent its shaft, pressed the upper part of the blade against itself, and made a sharp clicking sound as it straightened. Did it just salute…? …I’d think about that later. That wasn’t important right now. We still had to finish the meeting. We couldn’t let this slippery eel—literally wriggling like one—keep muddying the waters.
“Alright, everyone. Let’s focus on the main topic for now. I’ll explain all the parts that need explaining later.”
After all, half of this chaotic atmosphere had been created by one insane Holy Spear, and the other half by me calling my mother “Mom.” It wasn’t like I was Hong Gildong or something—I couldn’t just casually call her mother whenever I wanted. This was all because of that psychopathic bastard who killed me and Lumentis.
“Daughter. Don’t forget Umbrio.”
Ah, right. The gloomy goddess Umbrio too. Oops, my bad! She was the Goddess of Darkness.
“Let’s get back to the main point.”
Getting back to the main point somehow felt like it took about five thousand characters of blank space and special symbols, but whatever.
“So how exactly is this thing proof that the first Saintess is still alive?”
“The jewels embedded in El-Anat are connected to the first Saintess’s soul. As long as she has not died, those jewels will continue to shine brilliantly.”
He added that El-Anat’s behavior toward me was further proof. And that other proof was—
“El-Anat does not reveal that it is an Ego Spear unless its true master is present.”
Ego weapons were weapons that contained souls. A soul meant ego, and ego meant emotions. The Holy Spear El-Anat apparently showed this behavior because its loyalty toward the first Saintess was extraordinarily strong.
Loyalty…? It didn’t feel like loyalty. It felt closer to some kind of unnameable, near-maniacal obsession. It reminded me of a superior version of Skadi.
“Kgh… To lose to a mere spear… I will work harder.”
Skadi. You terrifying dark elf. You said you could read my expression well, but are you actually using mind-reading magic? And don’t work harder! Please lose at things like this. Even a person—no, even a dark elf—should know how to accept failure! You’ve lived so long, yet… Uh, why is your face turning red? Don’t tell me you noticed I was insulting you and started having some weird delusion again… Fine, go ahead and enjoy that look of contempt you love so much, you insane dark elf.
“It has been proven by how much El-Anat follows you. That you are deeply connected to the first Saintess.”
-Hey! Benedict! Are you crazy?! Why have you been spouting nonsense since earlier! Master is right here!
“Oh dear, it seems El-Anat has developed a case of madness.”
-What?! Hey, are you done talking?! Fine! Let’s settle this today, you damn brat!
“I am currently speaking with your master. Please be quiet, ‘El’ Anat.”
-You! I told you not to put emphasis on the ‘El’ like that!
It seemed the insane Holy Spear and Benedict did not get along. This was the first time I’d seen Benedict speak so sarcastically. Wait a second. The way they were talking to each other so naturally… wasn’t that strange?
Benedict had said that El-Anat was a weapon created for the first Saintess and had been passed down through generations of Saintesses and Popes. The first Saintess lived eight thousand years ago. And El-Anat supposedly only spoke in front of its true master. Yet the two of them clearly knew each other? And they seemed close enough to throw verbal punches back and forth with genuine affection?
“Hold on.”
“Ah.”
-Yes, Master!
“Benedict. I have a question.”
“Oh no, I got too excited and made a mistake.”
“How old are you?”
“Older than I look.”
“How much older?”
Benedict gently closed his characteristically kind, narrowed eyes. As his eyelids lowered, his round pupils became thin slits. Combined with the long outer corners, they turned into a squint. It looked so natural—so perfectly fitting—that it felt like this was the real Benedict.
“I stopped counting properly after around two thousand years old.”
The squinting Benedict smiled faintly and finished his sentence.
“I’d say I’m well over eight thousand years old now. Haha.”