Ta-da~ There Is No Absolute in This World (2)
Ta-da~ So there really is no such thing as absolute in this world.
Let me take a quick trip down memory lane. I think I mentioned it before—back in middle school, my mother and father went missing. The vulture-like relatives who tried to swoop in and devour our inheritance claimed they were dead, but neither my little sister nor I believed them. And why would we? There were no bodies.
It was supposedly a collision accident. They were stopped at a red light when a massive dump truck with failed brakes slammed right into them. The weird part was that neither the truck driver nor my parents were ever found at the scene. Maybe that incident is what triggered my chuunibyou phase back then… I suspect.
A friend who came to comfort me said something that actually helped a lot.
It was nonsense. Total bullshit. A clumsy attempt at comfort from a clumsy guy. But it helped. I was the type who preferred hope over despair, so even though it was ridiculous, thinking that way let me pull myself together and keep from falling apart.
…Though it did leave me with a serious dark history as a side effect.
So why the hell is this actually real?
I had stormed into the Papal Palace, ready to flip the entire place upside down if they didn’t accept my demands regarding the treatment of the now-defunct Holy Front Knights. Luckily, the Pope said she had something urgent to discuss and requested a private audience!
And the Pope who greeted me was… my mother who had gone missing.
Why? How? Is this for real? Was I seriously the dense protagonist of some cliché story this whole time?!
The shock was so massive that the tears I was about to shed at reuniting with my mother after thirty-plus years retreated straight back into my eyes. The Pope had black hair and black eyes, with a sharp gaze that looked like it could subdue a person with just a glare if she got angry. Father used to sing endless praises about how charming the teardrop mole beneath her eye was.
“Why… is Mom here?”
I gave up on testing whether she was really my mother from my previous life. The moment our eyes met, I knew instantly. This was the real mother from when I was Gu Gyumyung.
Um… I almost committed a massive act of filial impiety. I’d even been ready to fight. Ahem.
“….Say that again. What did you just call me?”
The Pope—er, Mom—looked completely bewildered after hearing my sudden, completely out-of-left-field words instead of the expected formal greeting like “I greet Your Holiness the Pope,” or “I am a Saintess candidate! I don’t want to do it!” and so on.
It seemed that, unlike me, she didn’t recognize me. Well, of course! Her son had become a daughter—how could she possibly recognize me?! Maybe I should’ve hidden it? Damn it! It was already too late. Once words leave your mouth, you can’t take them back unless you turn back time!
Time for a frontal assault!
“You heard me. Mom.”
“I asked why Mom is here.”
“…Hmm. Benedict told me you didn’t want to become the Saintess. Are you pretending to have mental corruption from fighting the demon race?”
In short, she was asking if I was acting crazy.
“…So you really forgot. A hundred years is a long time… long enough to forget the children you gave birth to on Earth.”
“What…?”
“What do they call you here? Mom’s real name was Park Seonhui, right?”
“You seem to have done a lot of research. I don’t know what your goal is, but your approach is wrong.”
Mother’s voice carried a faint undertone of anger. Oh? So she hadn’t completely forgotten?
In that case…
“There was something I really wanted to apologize to Mom about if I ever met you again… After you went missing, we moved a few years later, and during the move, all of Mom’s male idol merch got destroyed…”
THUD!
“Eekyaaak!”
Urk! I just headbutted the floor and bounced right back up! I couldn’t even react?! Mother’s power is incredible?!
The pain didn’t end there. Mother’s fists, which had grown younger and far fairer than I remembered, slammed into both my temples. Then she started grinding them mercilessly.
“Ugegegegegek!!”
Whoa! It’s real! Every last shred of doubt vanished completely! This feeling! This pain! It was definitely the move Mom used when scolding me! I’m not happy about it— it hurts, so please stop!
“It hurts it hurts it hurts it huuurts!!!! Mom, I’m in paaain!”
“You little brat! Do you have any idea how carefully I collected all that?! And you broke it?!”
“Wait, was it really that precious?! I’m telling Dad! Including how you secretly went to that concert!”
“Oh my god! You’re not just making this up—you’re actually telling the truth! Wait a second. How do you even know about that?”
“Huh?”
“Hmmm?”
Of course I know. How could I not?
“Dad would get upset. You secretly gave me allowance to keep my mouth shut, remember?”
“What are you talking about? Has your memory gotten mixed up because it’s been so long? That wasn’t you.”
“Huh?”
“Hmmm?”
“It’s me.”
“But it wasn’t you?”
What are you saying, Mother? You may not know this, but the flow of time between that side and this side is different. You were the previous Saintess, right? For you, more than a hundred years have passed, but for me it’s only been about thirty years. I’m the one who’s correct here.
“That can’t be…”
“I’m telling you it is.”
“Aren’t you Somyeong? The one I gave the allowance to was Gyumyung.”
“…”
Ah. I should’ve started with that. Somyeong was my little sister’s name.
“Um… Mom.”
“Yes, does it finally ring a bell? Somyeong-ah.”
“I’m… Gyumyung.”
“Huh?”
“Your son. Gu Gyumyung. Now I’m your daughter.”
“Uuuuh?”
“Kuhp…!”
Damn it.
“My son… no, my daughter… wait, originally… khup…!”
“Mom, you can just laugh.”
“Ahahahahaha!!!”
What the hell is this…? Usually when families reunite, isn’t it supposed to be touching and emotional? Is this how it’s supposed to go? Instead of a hug, I got a knuckle to the head and Mom’s secret(?) fist-grinding technique? And she’s holding back laughter even though her son became a daughter?!
“So this is what a family reunion looks like?”
That aside, where is Dad? Since we were both transferred to this isekai world by truck, he must be somewhere in this world too.
I still can’t believe it. The previous Saintess and current Pope is my mother from my past life. The previous Hero is my father from my past life…? What kind of absurd, plot-hole-riddled coincidence is this?
Hey, Goddess of Light Lumentis. It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the one who arranged that reincarnation request and made me reincarnate! Huh? Look at this, the size fits perfectly! I only had circumstantial evidence before, no physical proof or witnesses, but now I have a witness right here! What kind of grudge do you have against the Gu family?! First Mom and Dad, now me! You’d better stop at me! If you drag Somyeong into this too, I won’t stay quiet!
“Son… no, daughter.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t curse the Goddess like that.”
Oh right. My mom was a Saintess and the Pope. Becoming a Saintess lets you communicate with the gods. Maybe becoming one for just an hour wouldn’t be so bad? I could curse her out directly.
“I told you not to. The Goddess is a delicate person. And it’s not solely her fault, so blaming only one side is wrong.”
“Then?”
“Curse the God of Darkness Umbrio too.”
So if I’m going to curse, I should do it properly? Aha!
“Anyway, we don’t have much time, so we’ll have a proper family reunion later… Listen to your mother carefully now.”
“Yes.”
“Become the Saintess.”
“No thanks.”
THUD!
“Kyaaang!”
Did I mention it before? Oh, I didn’t. That loud THUD! sound is the noise of a knuckle flick to the forehead.
“Become the Saintess. While I’m still asking nicely.”
“Yes…”
The sayings of the ancient sages are truly great. They work even across dimensions. This episode’s moral is this:
—Listen to your mother.
I swore I would never, ever become a Saintess. Ta-da~ So there really is no such thing as absolute in this world!
The force behind it was simply too overwhelming to refuse. Instead, when I meet Dad, I’m telling him everything. How on your wedding anniversary she went to a male idol concert instead of visiting her in-laws.
“Your Eminence.”
“Yes. I heard as well. The thirteenth Saintess candidate has arrived at the Papal Palace?”
“Yes.”
“This is an opportunity. His Holiness the Pope has bestowed a blessing upon me.”
“Shall I prepare the assassins?”
“No, that’s no longer necessary. Since she has willingly walked into the deepest heart of Eliaque, the eighth Saintess candidate will take care of it herself.”
The Cardinal dismissed the Holy Knight who had come to report and sent him away. Then he turned and entered a certain room.
There, a completely naked girl sat on the bed, basking in sunlight as she gazed out the window.
“Is that you, Gregcio?”
“Yes, Lady Ashurta.”
“You said the thirteenth has entered the Papal Palace?”
“Officially, it is to receive rewards for saving Minoris and liberating the Entat Parish.”
“A splendid achievement for a mere human. Even I would have granted her a prize.”
“It is nothing more than the feeble struggle of a human.”
“Enough. Since she has come here, it will simply become the final achievement engraved on her tombstone. For I will soon become the Saintess.”
“Wise words indeed.”
Pleased by Cardinal Gregcio’s sincere flattery, Ashurta rose from the bed and stood before him.
“Kneel, human who carries the light. I shall grant you my blessing.”
The moment Ashurta spoke, Cardinal Gregcio immediately dropped to his knees and bowed his head.
“I, Ashurta of the last Light Clan, declare: You shall not be judged by the light…”
Golden divine power flowed from Ashurta’s hand like threads and entered Gregcio’s mind.
“And you shall become my eyes and ears, contributing to the descent of the true god.”
“Thank you, Lady Ashurta.”
“It is merely a fitting reward for your hard work.”
Overwhelmed by intense emotion, Gregcio couldn’t even think of lifting his bowed head.
“However, there is one thing I am curious about.”
“Yes.”
“What is the name of the thirteenth?”
“There is no need for this lowly human’s name to—”
“Yes. That is what I said. But this time I must move personally, which is why you came to me, is it not?”
In other words, it was information necessary for strategy.
“The thirteenth Saintess candidate’s name is Levia Leviathan.”
“What… did you just say?”
“Levia Leviathan.”
“That can’t be…”
“Lady Ashurta?”
“That is impossible. How dare a mere human use the surname Leviathan!”
Gregcio couldn’t help but be shocked. Because the sight the girl before him was showing was something that must never happen.
The eighth Saintess candidate whom he served and had personally nominated… was trembling in fear.
“Th-that’s a lie. Someone with the Leviathan surname… is a Saintess candidate? Don’t make me laugh!”
And on top of that, she was enraged to a degree he had never seen before.
“How dare! How dare!!! A mere human! While I stand here with my eyes wide open, you dare speak the name Leviathan!”
“Very well. She is a wench whose breath I will snuff out with my own hands anyway. I shall pass judgment upon her!!!”