Cafe Conquest: Bitter Espresso to Sweet Victory
I went to the cafe too-yang! I'd carefully stowed the katsu donburi lunchbox I bought at the convenience store in my eco-bag, and now I was heading to my next destination. Which was, of course, the cafe! As if I'd go home just because I shed a few tears at the convenience store. Having brilliantly achieved my first goal, my happiness level is now super MAX!! My confidence is even at ultra MAX.
"Meee~ng! Oops!" I was feeling so good that I accidentally bleated like a goat again. Uwing. Even so, this doesn't feel right. ...Or does it? Somehow... the more I hear it, the more I kinda like it. ... .. .
The cafe, my destination, is right next to the bus stop where I wait every day to head to the Hwaseong Hunter Management Office. Freelance hunters like me, without a guild, have to go to the office every time to declare, "I wanna enter this gate-yang!" if we want to raid one. And since I need money for magic circle ingredients, I have to hit gates every single day, which means waiting at the bus stop every single day. Every time, this amazing coffee aroma wafts over from that cafe, so I've always wanted to try a cup! Of course, I'd wanted to go in ages ago, but... every time our eyes met through the glass window, the cafe owner's expression was... well, now I'm the super-cute, innocent, pure-hearted little lamb Mijeong! So his face should be all heart-eyes this time, right? ...Come to think of it, when do I go to the Hunter Management Office? My savings are running low. I set aside some emergency cash before the summoning ritual, just in case something went wrong after summoning a demon. But I blew it all on clothes and a full-length mirror. Why are kids' clothes so expensive? They're smaller than adult sizes, so shouldn't they be cheaper?? Huh? Why the full-length mirror? Well... now that I'm super short, I can't see my whole body in the bathroom sink mirror. It barely shows my head these days. But what if there's some evil demon mark carved on my back or somewhere I can't see with the naked eye? I had to check. Anyway, clothes, mirror, takeout meals for the past three days, today's lunchbox, and now coffee—I'm basically broke soon. Honestly, I didn't think I'd last four days. But when I ordered food like usual, my smaller body got super full from just a little. Being small has its perks! ...Oh, and for reference, the full-length mirror check came up clean! No tail, no evil demon tattoos. Why do I have goat horns if I'm a little lamb? Anyway, total relief, really.
... .. .
Before I knew it, I was in front of the cafe. The rich coffee scent was still drifting out unchanged, not a single bit different. And the cafe owner visible through the glass window was the same as ever. Hmm, now that I'm actually standing at the door... "...Nervous-yang."
Yeah. Gotta admit what I gotta admit. But who am I? The great Mi! Jeong! Who successfully bought her original target lunchbox on her very first convenience store trip! Wow, am I actually a shopping genius? ...Thinking about it, since my one skill is Deal (A), it's not wrong. Anyway! Here we go!!
*Jingle jangle~* The bell on the door rang as I opened it, and an even richer coffee aroma hit me than from outside. It was a small, spotlessly clean cafe. There were about six tables—some for two, some for four—and the empty spaces were filled with pots of pretty flowers in full bloom. No other customers. At the counter, the bald, bespectacled cafe owner I'd often seen through the window was doing dishes. He looked my way when he heard the door.
...Not heart-eyes.
"Welcome... hmm?"
"A-ah, h-hello-yang!"
"...Oh, hi there, little customer. Here by yourself?"
"Yes, yep!"
Juice! Way better than my greeting to the convenience store sis earlier. ...No, can't relax yet! Ordering a drink is way harder than just swiping a card at the store! I have my menu picked out in advance, so let's calmly say it right! Okay, Mijeong, super focus!!
With that mindset, I approached the counter.
"So, little customer, what would you like to order?"
"Um, uh... Es-espresso! One... please-yang."
"...Espresso? For real?"
Yep. What I planned to order was straight-up espresso. What, you don't know what espresso is? Of course you do! I'm not dumb. It's that tiny amount that's super bitter. But super cheap too. I looked it up online ahead of time—other drinks have tall, big, death sizes to pick, hot or iced, whipped cream on top or mixed in, all that complicated stuff. Too much for a newbie orderer like me. ...And they're super pricey. Why's a drink cost as much as a lunchbox? Is it that good?? Anyway, compared to that, espresso? No size, no temp, stable price—perfect for a soon-to-be-broke me. Super bitter? No problem. Forgot? I'll remind you: I was the guy—er, lamb now—who could cut off his own finger for a summoning. How bitter can a human drink be? Nothing compared to that pain.
"Okay. Real espresso, right?"
"Y-yeah-yang!"
Deal (A) has activated.
"...Okay, got it. Just a sec."
Uwing? Why'd Deal (A) activate all of a sudden? ...Maybe throwing in a snack? After paying, I waited a bit, and the cafe owner brought a tray with a really tiny cup on it. No snack. Hing. ...Wait, that's not the point right now.
"Here's your espresso."
"S-so ti-, uh, Mister... "
"Hm? What's up? It's tinier than you thought?"
"Not that... I wanted... takeout-yang."
"...Espresso can't be takeout."
"...Ueng?"
Surprisingly, espresso doesn't need size, temp, or price decisions... or even takeout. Espresso... I trusted you. Hiiing. ... .. .
Can't waste food or karma'll bite me later. Plan changed, but gotta drink here. ...Espresso.
I set the tray on a four-person table and sat. Eco-bag with lunchbox and hand axe went beside me. Heard solo customers shouldn't take big tables, but it's just me, right? ...Luckily, owner said nothing. So, how to deal with this jerk.
-Take that, you traitor espresso! I trusted you! Who knew you were a spy from the So clan!!
-Took you long enough! Too late now! You failed takeout, what can you do?
-...At least, I can get revenge-yang!!
-Ho ho, think a mere lamb like you can drink me?
-I can-yang!!!
-If that's your choice...
-Come at me then!
-!!!
I grabbed the impudent So clan spy and brought it to my mouth. Slurp— ...Huh?
"Kyaaah—!! Cough cough!"
"Whoa, kiddo, you okay? Want some water?"
"N-, cough!... No, cough cough! Nothing-yang!!"
"Uh... okay, got it."
???? What the heck, why's it THIS bitter?!? Is this really a drink?? For humans?? Did I get scammed?? Did he give me something bad??? ...No. Deal (A) activated, so it can't be bad. Does that mean... this is its real taste?
"...Lies-yang."
No way people drink this for fun... I may have been a mute, but my taste buds were fine. Why pay for this? Super rich and just wasting? Give it to me then. Dunno... don't wanna know. This time, I'll just be the fool. ...But wasting food brings bad karma... What do I do?
"U-u... snif."
Tears came unbidden. No. I wasn't the crying type before. Ah, not a guy anymore. Whatever, super embarrassing... As I rubbed my eyes to wipe the tears, the cafe owner came over with another tray.
"Aigoo. Already tasted it, huh? Can't handle more, right?"
"Snif! Nooo-yang, I can finish it-yang... "
"Haha, really? Impressive! Truth is, that was an unfinished espresso."
"Snif...? Unfi... nished-yang?"
"Yeah, my bad. Not many order espresso, so this old man messed up."
?? Wait, really?? The new tray had a much bigger glass than my tiny traitor cup. It was filled with ice and halfway with milk. Looks yummy. The owner said,
"Pour what you had in here—that's real espresso."
"Uwing? Really-yang???"
"Yep, really."
...No. Online pics showed espressos all tiny like my So spy. Big glass espresso too? Hmm... I'm a total country bumpkin first-timer, and he's the coffee pro who's run this place forever. He knows better.
"Kiddo, give this old man a chance to fix it?"
"Ung... sure-yang!"
He took my cup, poured it into the milk, and stirred. The pitch-black So spy turned milky brown. Hah! Serves you right! And that made the real espresso. He even stuck in a straw. This time, for real, right? Trusting the owner, I took a sip.
Slurp— !!!
"Better, right? Way smoother?"
"Yep! So tasty-yang!!"
Yes! This is it!!! Unlike the just-bitter one, super smooth and sweet. Slight bitter aftertaste on the swallow, but... I can handle that!! No way that black, hot, ultra-bitter stuff was for humans. Surviving a sip? I'm the best! Praise me! Amazing!
"Meee~ng"
"Hahaha! Looks delicious—glad to hear it."
Feeling great, I bleated again, but whatever. I'll bleat. Slurped the milky goodness.
...Huh? Why'd Deal (A) activate though? Eh, whatever! Tasty, so good!
****
"B-bye for now-yang!"
"Sure~ Come again!"
I force-converted the takeout-ruining espresso into espresso-latte in my belly and left the cafe. Phone clock said nearly 3 PM. Goals done, heading home to eat katsu donburi. Skipping home happily, two phrases echoed in my head.
-Sure~ Come again!
-Sure~ Come again!
"Meeeeng~"
So happy, another natural bleat. My life's first communication. Interaction. Deal... ah, not first deal. Anyway, success—huge relief. Never talked to anyone my whole life. Even with a voice, misunderstandings or hate from my screw-ups would've broken me. Sure, easy win thanks to voice and new looks... but whatever! Good is good.
...Money's really tight now, so tomorrow: Hunter Management Office for new awakener registration and gate raid. But I nailed first social win!! Tomorrow, I'll do great too.
... .. .
Home at last. Nuked the katsu donburi. Whirr~ Ding! Katsu scent filled the place. Where, where. Nom. !!!!!
"This lunchbox!!! Immediately delicious-yang!!!"
Insanely good.