The Little Hero of the Office
“Ah, the underground dungeon.”
Well, of course. Where else would a failed assassin be dragged off to?
I glanced at Senior Jake, who was puffing out his chest like he was thrilled with his own deduction.
He really does have a wide network and knows a lot of things.
At that moment, Senior Jake’s hand—big as a pot lid—slapped my back again.
“Ow! Why are you hitting me!”
“So, Rookie, didn’t you see anything?”
“I’m not an animal, use your words! Words!”
“To your senior from the heavens above—!”
“You only pull the senior card at times like this!”
When I snapped back at him, Senior Jake clenched his fist.
That’s a knuckle sandwich!
I’d been hit by it once before without knowing better, and it hurt on a completely different level from getting slapped on the back with an open palm.
I quickly raised both arms into a defensive stance and shouted.
“Fine! Yes, an assassin really did break in!”
“For real? What kind of lunatic would pull a stunt like that?”
“No idea. He must’ve taken something weird—he wasn’t in his right mind. His eyes were bloodshot, and later he was foaming at the mouth while charging at me.”
“The world really is coming to an end. It’s the end times.”
Senior Jake clicked his tongue like an old man, then suddenly whipped his head toward me.
“But how do you know all those details? Did you see it yourself?!”
“I did. Right in front of me.”
“Oh my god! As expected, you lucky little thing! Then is the rumor true too? They say some kid who isn’t even part of the personal guard took down that assassin in a single blow!”
I nodded while stepping back to avoid Senior Jake, who was shoving his excited face right into mine.
“Yeah, I saw it.”
“Who the hell was it?! The little hero of the office!”
What kind of cringey nickname is that?
I frowned for a second before answering.
“It was me.”
“What…?”
“I said it was me. It wasn’t exactly one blow, but I did shove him from behind and knock him over. I ended up stuck in the infirmary for a while because of it, though.”
I deliberately left out the part about the assassin using Barga poison and wearing Wickers assassination boots.
There was nothing good about that getting out.
“You? You’re the little hero of the office, Rookie?”
“Ugh, who came up with that weird nickname?”
And why does it have to have “little” in it?
Runelk Ainz’s body wasn’t particularly sturdy, but it wasn’t that far from average build either. It was just that everyone in Knox was ridiculously huge.
Among them, Senior Jake—who had the body of a bear—wrapped one of his thick arms around my shoulders and hoisted me up like a piece of luggage tucked against his side in an instant.
“Let’s go!”
“What are you doing?! Use words! I said use your words!”
“We’re going to the guard post. You’re going to tell the whole story properly, from beginning to end!”
I flailed my legs, but there was no overcoming a rhinoceros-level excited Senior Jake.
“I’m going! I’m already going, okay!”
The moon hung dimly in the night sky.
The guard post for the night shift, lit with bright lanterns, looked even narrower than usual because it was packed full of burly operatives.
“……And when I opened my eyes, I was in the infirmary.”
“Whoa!”
“The youngest is awesome!”
The moment I finished speaking, the senior operatives pounded the table and slapped their knees, letting out hearty cheers.
Even though Knox’s military discipline was extremely strict and they couldn’t touch a drop of alcohol while on duty, their faces were flushed red.
“Hey, hey, you see this? The goosebumps on my arm?!”
“Of course I see it! My hair’s standing on end, sir!”
Seniors Wigen and Hartman—who were from earlier classes than even Jake—shoved their arms and necks into each other’s faces, making a huge fuss.
At first glance they seemed rowdy, but the other operatives who were either sitting comfortably in chairs or leaning against the windowsill according to strict hierarchy were just as excited as kids listening to a heroic tale.
In contrast, the actual protagonist of the story—me—couldn’t hide my thoroughly fed-up expression.
This is the third time. The third.
Ever since Senior Jake dragged me to the guard post, I’d already repeated the same story three times. My mouth was starting to hurt.
If I tried to simplify or skip any part out of annoyance, they’d roar, “You can’t leave out the most important part!” so I couldn’t even gloss over anything.
“Haa.”
I’d rather go through hell training at this point.
To think I, of all people, had to put on a clown show in front of everyone.
Even back when I fell into a Wickers trap, took down ten assassins from a rival organization, and returned without a single scratch, I hadn’t done anything like this.
Being the youngest really sucks.
It wasn’t like this in my day.
When a bright-eyed new recruit who didn’t know anything came in, we used to cherish and dote on them like they were made of gold and silver.
Even if they got caught doing spy work, we’d send them home safely.
The young face I pulled out of my memories after so long was blurry. The only things that came clearly to mind were a small, frail body and lips that had gone pale and dry from tension.
What was that kid’s name again?
Just then, Senior Jake crept up beside me and whispered.
“Rookie. Let’s get out of here.”
When I snapped back to my senses, the others were still busy chatting among themselves.
I could endure three times, but four was impossible.
If they asked me to tell the story again—from the first time I saw the Green Merchants’ leader to the moment I woke up in the infirmary—I might actually forget he was my senior and charge at him to shave off that beard.
“Hey! Where are you two going!”
But sharp-eyed Senior Hartman spotted us grabbing the door handle and shouted.
“Senior Graf said he’d come by soon to see the little hero too!”
That guy, seriously!
Fortunately, I didn’t end up committing insubordination.
It was thanks to Senior Jake jumping in and smoothly talking his way out.
“Aigoo, we still have to at least pretend to work, right? The Rookie and I will stand watch right out front, so call us when Senior Graf arrives!”
Then he tugged at my clothes, muttering, “Let’s go, hurry.”
“……Please call us.”
I gave a quick bow and practically fled from the guard post.
Once outside, the other operatives sitting around the bonfire grinned at me.
“Tough work, Rookie.”
“You did something even the personal guard couldn’t manage. That’s why they’re all so excited. Just bear with it a little longer.”
“……Yes.”
Still, breathing in the crisp night air made me feel a bit better, so I answered grumpily.
I picked up a branch and poked at the fire before asking.
“But is it really okay for us?”
“Huh? Us?”
“We let the Green Merchants’ leader through, after all. I was worried we might get blamed for it.”
“Ah, I thought it was something serious. It’s fine. If we were going to be punished for that, we would’ve gotten chewed out already. The fact that there hasn’t been a single word means they’re letting it slide. I mean, what could we have done? It was a guest personally invited by Decon Gold.”
When Senior Jake waved his hand dismissively, the others around us looked at me with fond smiles, as if I were adorable.
“They’re only acting like that because they know the seniors will be fine too.”
“That’s a relief, then.”
“Rookie, you little punk. You’re surprisingly scared of a lot of things, huh?”
The seniors’ eyes sparkled at the same time.
They’d found a weakness that was fun to tease.
But I asked with a deliberately serious face.
“Have any of you seniors ever seen His Grace the Duke up close?”
“As if.”
“Then what about Dupont Clancher?”
“Well, I ran an errand to the main building once and happened to pass him in the hallway.”
A senior with short buzz-cut hair answered awkwardly.
“The atmosphere… whew, it was no joke.”
“Exactly. After what happened this time, those kinds of people could’ve called us in for a reprimand.”
Gulp.
The sound of someone swallowing dryly rang out loudly.
“D-don’t say stuff like that.”
“Just thinking about it…”
“It’s a good thing I stopped the assassin. If something had actually happened, we wouldn’t have gotten off easy either, right?”
So treat me nicely.
The noisy chatter leaking from inside the guard post suddenly felt far away as the area in front of it fell deathly silent.
After checking their expressions, I stirred the embers like I was playing with fire and continued.
“By the way. An organization like Knox must have tons of secrets that can’t be revealed to the outside world, right?”
“Secrets?”
“Yes. This incident too. No one knows what happened to the Green Merchants’ leader.”
“Obviously he’s in the underground dungeon.”
One of the seniors smoking a cigarette in the corner laughed as he spoke.
“If he’s still alive, that is.”
Everyone burst into loud laughter as if they’d heard a hilarious joke.
I nodded along with them, then prodded once more.
“Before I joined, were there any interesting rumors going around? You seniors have been in Knox a long time, so you must know a lot.”