Tooth-Pulling Day
"Tia."
"Muuh?"
"It's about time we pulled that tooth."
"······?"
Tia tilted her head to one side, wearing the expression of someone who understood absolutely nothing that had just been said.
Looks like a kind, patient explanation was in order.
"You see how it wobbles like that?"
"Muuh."
"That one has to come out so the new tooth can grow in."
"How do you pull it out?"
"You just—snap. Give it a good yank and off it goes."
"······."
Tia's face went white in the space of a heartbeat.
Then, before I could even reach for her, she bolted out of the room like a shot and went tearing off down the hall.
How foolish of me.
I should have blocked the exits before bringing it up.
"Tia! Come back here!"
"Muuuuhhh!"
I hurried after her and flung the door open.
Thankfully, Tia hadn't gotten far.
She was clinging to Sasha, who was just clocking in for her shift, like a koala latched to a eucalyptus tree.
Sasha's strained, awkward smile said everything about just how heavy Tia was.
"Shasha! Mommy's being mean! Waaah!"
"She's faking those tears. Don't fall for it. See? She only does this because she needs a tooth pulled."
"Ahaha. Well, if that's the case······."
"Shashaaa! And I trusted you! I trusted you!"
I peeled the pitifully pleading Tia off of Sasha and took her back.
Then I bent down to scoop her up by the bottom—only to find her so heavy that I outright dropped her on the floor.
Worried she'd bolt again, I quickly grabbed her hand.
And so Tia turned on the charm, big sparkling eyes doing their absolute best to look as pathetic as possible.
For a second, my resolve nearly wavered······
"It doesn't hurt. We'll pull it out fast and be done with it."
"Mueeeek! I don't wanna!"
"Ugh, my ears. What kind of crying is that? You sound like a wailing little demon."
"Yulia, you can't say that to a child······."
I dragged Tia straight into the tavern.
With her monstrous strength, she could easily have resisted—but she didn't.
Probably because she was worried she'd hurt me if she actually pushed back, the little sweetheart.
Clever girl.
"It hurts! It's gonna hurt, I know it!"
"It doesn't hurt. Probably."
"Mueeeee······."
I tried to dig up my own memories of having a tooth pulled.
How did it go back then, exactly?
It all felt so impossibly distant now that I could barely recall it.
"Shasha, help me!"
"Want to go change first? I'll finish pulling Tia's tooth and be right out."
"O-okay······."
"Shashaaa!"
Once Sasha was out the door, I fetched the sewing box from Irina's drawer.
I snipped off a short length of thread, a suitable thickness, and approached Tia, who was sniffling at my side.
"Come on. Open up."
"Muuuuh."
"No shaking your head. Open. Quickly. The faster you open, the faster it's over."
"Muuuuh······."
"Ugh! This is unbearable! Open your mouth!"
"Mmhmhmph!"
I pounced, tickling her armpits and sides ever so gently.
Tia clenched her lips shut, desperate to keep her mouth sealed, but the laughter burst out of her almost instantly.
Seizing that exact moment, I slipped my finger into her mouth.
The instant my fingertip touched the wobbly tooth, Tia's thrashing stopped dead and her whole body froze up solid.
Subjugation successful.
"Open your mouth. Slowly. If you don't listen, I'll just yank it out with my hand. And that? That would hurt a lot."
"······."
Tia's face drained of all color in an instant, and she gave a trembling little nod.
Her mouth opened, revealing the full landscape of that tiny maw of hers.
It was the kind of view that, every now and then, stirred an urge to poke at that cute little uvula hanging in the back.
Of course, I heroically resisted and focused on tying a loop of thread around the wiggling tooth instead.
I decided to leave the ones that weren't loose yet alone and only pull the ones practically ready to fall out today.
That way it wouldn't hurt.
If I made her first tooth-pulling a painful ordeal, there was a real chance she'd refuse to ever let me near her teeth again.
"Done!"
"Mueuh······."
It was clumsy work, but after a full three minutes of wrestling, I'd managed to tie the thread snugly around the tooth.
Keeping her mouth open the whole time had left Tia's lips absolutely coated in drool.
Now all that remained was to stretch the thread taut and tie it to the door, and we'd be all set.
Pulling by hand might not get it out cleanly, so slamming the door shut was the sure bet.
"Muuuhhh······. I'm scaaared······."
"What's there to be scared of? I told you, it doesn't hurt one bit."
Wiping away what might have been tears or might have been drool, I found I couldn't hold back the grin spreading across my face.
She's just so adorable······.
Her reactions only made me want to tease her more and more.
I wanted to take her out on a hot-air balloon ride, show her the sights of the capital—but no, that was still off the table, wasn't it.
I scolded myself for even thinking it.
"Alright. When I count to three, out it comes."
"I'm scaaared!"
"Scared of what? Get over there. If you stay this close to Mommy, I can't pull it."
Tia kept whining and trying to burrow into my arms.
But the thread had to be stretched taut for the trick to work.
So I kept having to peel her off and set her back at the end of the line.
Man, this was getting exhausting.
Since when was pulling a single tooth such a monumental undertaking?
Soon enough Tia burst into genuine tears, and I panicked.
Left with no choice, I sat her down and soothed her for a while, gently stroking her head.
"Tia. Look at Mommy's face."
"I'm looking······."
"Has Mommy ever lied to you?"
"You have."
"Hmm. Fair, a few times. But out of all the things Mommy has said this seriously, face to face like this—have I ever lied? Have I?"
"Muu."
"Pulling this tooth doesn't hurt at all, I promise. But if we don't pull it now, your new teeth might grow in all crooked and you'll turn ugly. You don't want to be ugly, do you?"
"I don't······."
"Then will you trust Mommy and let me pull it out nice and quiet?"
"Muu. Okay······. Pull it······."
Tia's tears stopped almost immediately.
She hadn't even had the tooth pulled yet, and already I felt like her soul had been sucked right out of her.
Still, all that remained now was the easy part—flinging the door open.
My instinct was to do it by surprise, but if I did that, Tia would probably sulk for a solid week. So I resolved to do it properly, as promised, on the count of three.
"Okay. Counting now. One······"
"Tia! Did you get all your teeth pulled?"
"Ah."
Slam.
My hand hadn't even touched the doorknob—the door swung open in an instant, and Sasha burst in.
The tense, anxious look on Tia's face froze solid.
In her wide-open mouth, a single gap where a front tooth had been stood out with perfect clarity.
"Oh. It came out."
"You lied to me AGAIN! Waaaahh!"
A wail unlike anything she'd produced so far erupted from her lungs.
How on earth was I supposed to console that······.
My head started to throb.
"Let me see that tooth. Hmm. Nice and clean. See? Didn't hurt one bit, did it?"
"Muu······."
Tia gave a nod, her sullen glare unrelenting.
This was the look of someone whose anger had long since faded but was still staging a protest out of sheer stubbornness.
"Sasha, she's not too heavy?"
"Ahaha, it's fine! She's strong, but I can manage!"
"I appreciate it, but······."
And Tia remained glued to Sasha all the while.
Sasha was the one who'd flung the door open and yanked the tooth out—so why was she glaring at me and snuggling into Sasha's arms?
What a strange child.
That said, seeing a third party carrying her really drove home how much she'd grown lately.
There was a time I could lift her with one hand; now her whole body had to be squeezed and squished just to fit in someone's arms.
She was big enough to graduate kindergarten by now, yet she still acted like a baby—genuinely ridiculous.
"Oh, Sasha. One thing I'm curious about—mind if I ask?"
"What is it?"
"Have you ever tried breaking that horn of yours?"
"Excuse me?"
"Or pulled it out, maybe? If a horn comes off, does it grow back? Or do you just live the rest of your life with a hole where it used to be?"
"······."
Sasha froze in place, dead still.
Figuring that as a fellow horn-owner she'd know about broken or pulled horns, I'd waited for an answer—but no matter how long I waited, nothing came.
Instead, her face steadily turned a shade of deathly pale, which suggested today simply wasn't a good day for her health.
"Yulia! I've got good news and bad news!"
"Irina Imo!"
"······!"
The front door burst open and a raucous voice rang out.
It was Irina, a small paper envelope in hand.
Tia immediately made her escape from Sasha's arms and zipped across the floor to throw her arms around Irina's waist.
The way Sasha's eyes went hollow in real time was a sight to behold.
"Good news? What is it?"
"Ta-da. Your Citizen Card."
"Wow······!"
With elegant precision, Irina slit the envelope open with a knife and drew out the card, placing it on my open palm.
Yulia. It was an identification document with my name engraved on it.
All those diligent trips to church every week, all the backhand bribes slipped to the civil servants—it had finally paid off.
I now had the means to prove, with my own two hands, that I was a free citizen residing in this city.
At the very least, I no longer had to worry about being beaten to death in the street as a gypsy of unknown origin and status.
Finding proper, respectable work would be far easier from here on out, too.
Tears nearly welled up and spilled over on the spot.
"Irina. Thank you. For everything you've done for me—truly, thank you."
"Mm-hm. Although the bad news is still left over······."
"Bad news?"
Come to think of it, she had mentioned good news and bad news.
Irina was glancing at my face and dodging my eyes, and it could not have looked more awkward.
Just as I was wondering whether she'd somehow wronged me, the door creaked open, and the sound of heavy dress shoes striking the tavern's tile floor echoed through the room.
"The thing is, a guest showed up. I told them, clearly, that we weren't open yet? But they kept insisting and following me anyway, so······."
"Long time no see, Yulia."
"Ah."
The moment I confirmed the owner of those shoes, a groan escaped my mouth entirely on its own.
The Hero. Leopard stood there, waving at me with an idiotic grin plastered across his face.
A face that, no matter how many times I saw it, made me want to spit.