A Happy Delusion
"Mom. Mommy."
The alarm bells went off in my head.
Someone who knew my true identity had finally shown up.
The Hero. Leopard.
No idea what his family name was.
Then again, maybe he never had one.
He was the miracle worker who had toppled the Demon King fifty years ago, and astonishingly, he still looked exactly as young as he had back then.
The thing was, the name Leopard apparently sounded about as rustic as something like Kim Deokchun or Jang Deoksam back in Korea, because the man kept pleading with me to just call him Leo.
Naturally, I told him where he could shove it. Nice try, Deoksam.
"Mom. Hmm? Hmm-hmm-hmm?"
Anyway, he clearly knew who I was.
It hadn't been a bluff.
He'd seen through the fact that I was the Saintess, and Tia's true nature, in a single glance.
And on top of that, he claimed I used to be his girlfriend...
Honestly, I couldn't tell whether that was a lie or not, but I'd concluded it was most likely some scheme designed to blow my mind.
Only that conclusion could give me any peace of mind.
"Moooom! Can't you hear me? Mmmmuuuh!"
But the real problem was that I still had no idea what the man actually wanted.
Judging by the fact that he hadn't handed me over to the Church, he seemed to be trying to win me over—but I had my doubts that was truly his end goal.
The fact remained that the Church was hunting for me, and with my neck on the line, Leopard held all my weaknesses in his hands.
He could hand me over to the Church to be torn apart at any moment.
Maybe he was just playing with me—I couldn't tell—but one thing was certain: he was not particularly loyal to the Church.
*Why on earth is the Church looking for me...*
Leopard had said that if the Church ever caught me, I would never come out alive.
Not "you'd die"—but "you'd never come out alive."
So he knew my regeneration was a curse that wouldn't let me die.
Then why was the Church so determined to imprison me for all eternity?
It's not like I was going to destroy the world in the future.
*I should probe him a little next time we meet.*
Leopard was the only one I could ask.
He was bound to come slinking around again sooner or later anyway, so I'd take my time fishing for answers then.
Knowing that bastard's personality, the moment I ask him anything, he'll demand my body as payment—what do I do then?
God, it drives me insane.
I'm not a prostitute. I'm not even a woman. And I sure as hell am not gay.
"Mom!"
"Wha—"
Something blocked my vision and snapped me back to my senses.
Something had grabbed my head and was yanking on it so hard I thought my neck would break.
The soft, squishy belly pressed against my face was unmistakably Tia's.
She immediately wrapped me in a crushing hug and let a fart rip right in my face.
"Mmhuheheheheh!"
Only then did Tia dissolve into peals of giggling, let go of my head, and flop back down onto the floor.
Her face was soaked with sweat from all her romping around.
I'd nearly suffocated to death.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"You wouldn't answer me, Mommy...!"
"I wouldn't?"
"Yeah! You kept ignoring me!"
"I'm sorry. Sorry. I wasn't trying to ignore you."
I gathered up Tia, who was sulking with puffed-out cheeks, into my arms.
Then, in that instant, my shoulders jolted under the sudden weight and I flinched.
Has she always been this heavy...?
It was getting harder and harder to carry her.
Where she used to fit comfortably in one arm, now she filled my entire embrace to bursting even when I held her with both.
Little pig.
"Mom. Are you okay?"
"Hm?"
"Did that mistuh not do anything bad to you?"
"..."
The words stuck in my throat, refusing to come out.
Come to think of it, I'd gone up to the second floor with that bastard right in front of Tia.
This was the worst.
"Uh—no. Nothing happened."
"Really?"
"Really."
I startled myself with how utterly unconvincing it sounded.
A man and a woman go up to the second floor and come back down shortly after, and nothing happened?
That was the kind of excuse you'd offer a toddler.
"Mmm. That's a relief..."
And Tia was barely a month old.
I hugged her close as she nestled into me, looking relieved.
Adorable little thing.
If only she could stay like this forever.
"Yulia, we'll clean up the rooms. We'll take your name off the chore chart, so get some real rest today."
"It's fine. There are still hours left before closing."
"No, no. Rest. You've had a shock, after all."
"What shock? Nothing happened upstairs."
"Sure. Of course it didn't. Just rest anyway. And if you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me..."
"..."
Only Tia, of course, was innocent.
No matter how much I explained myself, Irina's pitying stare never wavered.
Why does she keep treating me like a victim who got violently ravished?
I'm telling you, nothing happened.
Just as I decided persuasion was hopeless and moved to give up, Sasha rose slowly from beneath the table, starting with her long horn, until her face emerged.
"Um, Yulia?"
"Yeah?"
"What's it like with a man? I'm just curious—could you explain it to—"
"Sasha. Get out here."
"Ah! Why? That hurts, Irina-unni!"
In a flash, Sasha was seized by the hair and dragged out.
Thanks to my forced vacation starting in broad daylight, I suddenly found myself with quite a lot of free time.
What should I do?
"Mmhehe."
"Don't even ask, I'm not nursing you."
"Fuuuh."
I looked down for a while at Tia, who was amusing herself by pawing at my chest as usual.
She'd apparently been running around nonstop today; I gathered her wild, tangled hair in my hand to smooth it out.
There was so much of it that even grabbing it in one hand was a struggle.
Her hair had just a hint of a curl to it.
Mine was dead straight.
Apparently an inheritance from that lizard bastard.
Though I couldn't for the life of me understand why a dragon—who doesn't even have hair—would carry a curly-hair gene.
Holding my long hair up beside hers for comparison, I thought she really didn't look like my daughter at all.
Silver hair with a faint blue sheen, straight as a blade, versus pitch-black curls.
"Whuh?!"
I took Tia's cheeks in my hands and lifted her head so our foreheads bumped together.
Beautiful eyes in that scrunched-up little face.
Those, without question, were mine.
They were straight-up copy-pasted.
In other words—
*If the eyes were plucked out...*
If one of us—Tia or me—were to lose her eyes, we would become complete strangers.
Then in this world, with no genetic testing, there would be no way left to prove any blood relation between us.
"Mhihi. Mommy, kissy."
"..."
Not that I was saying I'd actually do it.
I had no intention, for now, of cutting ties with Tia and running off.
But if a truly unavoidable situation ever arose, I needed a plan ready for it. That was all.
A contingency of contingencies, nothing more.
There was no guarantee such a situation would ever happen.
Thinking this seriously about my own daughter made me feel like a psychopath, and a wave of self-loathing washed over me.
"You do it to Mommy."
The instant I said it, Tia came charging over and slammed her lips into mine.
My front teeth ached from the impact.
Could you maybe be a little gentler...
I set Tia down on the table and got to my feet.
Time to get ready to go out.
Tia's hair had grown long enough now that she'd soon need hair ties or pins to keep it in place.
"Mommy. Where we going?"
"To buy you a hair tie. We have to hurry before the market closes. Go get ready."
"..."
Tia planted both feet together, stood ramrod straight, and stretched her arms up toward the sky.
She wanted me to change her clothes.
Meaning she couldn't do it herself.
She looked about three on the outside—I figured at that age she should be perfectly capable of taking clothes off and putting them on by herself.
"Change by yourself."
"Mm...?!"
Tia's arms dropped like stones.
With an expression like the world was ending, Tia looked up at me, brimming with tears.
For a heartbeat I nearly sprinted over and swept her into a hug, but I barely held myself back.
What can't be done can't be done.
Two months old means it's time to dress yourself.
"Mmm! Eeek?! Ugh!"
The whole time she was changing, strange wailing noises—somewhere between monster noises and screams—erupted from behind me.
I snuck glance after glance over my shoulder: she had jammed her head into the garment and was flailing hopelessly, unable to find the hole. It was heartbreaking to watch.
After a long battle with the clothes—stumbling, banging her head against the wall—Tia finally succeeded in getting her head out through a hole.
"Dun!"
"*Sigh*."
The problem was that it was the hole meant for her arm.
I walked over with a sigh and dressed her properly.
Apparently she wasn't ready yet.
Last came combing Tia's hair into order, slipping her adorable little shoes on—and she was ready to go out.
"Don't forget your hat."
"Mm."
So we still had one left.
I'd nearly forgotten; the moment I reminded her, Tia yanked her hood up over her head.
The hood, with its little animal ears jutting up, rose above her head and hid her horns perfectly.
Every time I saw it, it was unbearably cute.
I could never thank Irina enough for recommending that beastfolk hat.
"Let's go now. Hold Mommy's hand tight."
"Mmhehe..."
Tia was already so worked up she'd started bouncing on her feet.
The kind of child who, the moment you look away, is suddenly way over there.
I gripped her hand hard, determined never to let go.
And so we slipped quietly out of the shop through the back door.
My feet, heading naturally toward the market, came to a stop.
After a brief moment of hesitation, I turned us toward the main boulevard instead.
It was just a hairpin—but wouldn't buying her something nicer at the department store last longer and serve her better?
Truthfully, though, what I wanted more than anything was to show Tia the bustling city.
Life is built out of experiences.
I didn't want to raise a child who knew nothing but stinking back alleys.
"Feeling hungry?"
"Chuchu?"
"I said, are you hungry?"
"Hungwy!"
"Then let's get something to eat. Anything you want?"
"Ish cweam!"
Ice cream...
I hadn't had it once since coming to this world either.
I'd gone looking for a place to buy some, but one look at the prices and I'd given up all hope.
Apparently they used magic for the freezing, and in this world, the moment magic gets involved in anything, the price skyrockets.
Still, life is all about experience, after all.
The thought crossed my mind that it wouldn't hurt to try it just once.
"No. Pick something else."
"Mmm!"
Of course, that was as far as the thought went.
Earn your own money when you're older and stuff yourself silly.
I already know exactly what ice cream tastes like.
"I hear there's a cheap, delicious pie shop near the department store. We'll go there."
"..."
Cheeks puffed out, Tia trudged along, deliberately stomping her feet loudly.
I recognized a fake sulk instantly.
If she were genuinely sulking, she'd already be on the verge of tears, whimpering.
And sure enough, the moment the crowds thickened and the carriage-lined boulevard unfolded before us, Tia forgot all about her puffed cheeks and started gasping in wonder nonstop.
"So many people, Mommy..."
"Be careful not to let go of my hand. The second you get careless, bad people could snatch you right up."
"Hiihk...!"
The grip on my hand tightened noticeably.
Adorable.
"I'll protet you, Mommy!"
"You'll protect me?"
"Mm!"
The day Tia protects me, huh.
Then again, hadn't she inherited a dragon's strength? She might well have some truly monstrous power.
For all I knew, an astronomical amount of mana or divine power was sleeping inside that little body.
"Pfft."
"What's funny?"
"Nothing. Protect me well, okay? When Tia grows up..."
It was a happy delusion.
Complete nonsense, really.
Because this world never flows the way I hope it will.
Tia strutted along beside me, proud as if she'd already become my sworn guardian knight.
Reassuring.
And somehow, before I knew it, a smile had crept across my face.