I Wanted to Die
I had been transmigrated into a novel written by some complete degenerate.
That was the only conclusion I could draw, really.
Every year, no matter how the classes shuffled or the grades changed, there was always that one guy. The one who sat in the corner, whether during lessons or breaks, glued to his phone, snickering to himself in the most irritating way.
I never held any grudge against them. I was just genuinely curious — what could possibly be that funny? So I'd sneak up from behind, snatch their phone for a second — okay, borrow it — and nine times out of ten, there it would be: a web novel with a title so stupid it hurt to read...
"Mmgh."
"Saintess! Are you regaining consciousness?"
I couldn't shake the feeling that this world was exactly like that.
Saintess, my ass.
Look at what I'm wearing and you still call me a saint?
Even the most shameless country bumpkin alive wouldn't be caught dead in an outfit like this.
And Korean, in this medieval setting no less —
Worse, the cover of the book lying beside me had Hangul slapped across it in bold serif type, so apparently the alphabet here was Korean too.
Witnessing the undisputed champion of narrative convenience, I could only conclude that I really had landed inside one of those fantasy web novels — the kind that glasses-wearing pig had been so engrossed in.
But seriously. If you're going to drop someone into a web novel, send a diehard fan, not me — a guy whose entire knowledge of the genre amounts to a cover art so uncanny it sits somewhere between photorealistic and 2D in the most unsettling way, plus a title so long it qualifies as a sentence.
"Hah?"
"Please stay lying down, Saintess. You lost a great deal of blood."
That snapped me fully awake.
I hastily threw back the covers and checked myself from the bottom up.
And down there was...
Fine?
I hadn't seen wrong.
Nothing down there hurt anymore, and nothing was torn.
I couldn't be entirely sure about the inside, and I certainly wasn't about to go fishing around with my fingers in front of that man, but still.
"Do not worry, Saintess. I cleaned you while you were unconscious. Ah... forgive my rudeness. I had no idea today was the day of your monthly bleeding."
"Ah."
Glancing aside, I saw a girl in a nun's habit diligently scrubbing laundry.
Her skirt hem was stained red — the same whore's clothes I was wearing.
So they keep multiple sets of this garbage on hand, huh.
"Sister! There's something all slippery on the clothes!"
"You must have been brushed by a slime while she was unconscious. Scrub it thoroughly!"
"Yes, Sister!"
Fuck.
That's semen.
Dragon semen...
Only then did everything from before I blacked out come flooding back like a tide.
The memory of that sensation, that feeling, resurrected itself and crashed over me.
That massive thing relentlessly piercing and churning my lower belly.
Those enormous claws pinning me down, as if to deny me even the smallest movement...
"It's all right, Saintess. It's over now. Everything is all right."
It was only when a large palm closed over my hand that I noticed.
I was trembling all over.
Come to think of it, I did feel a little cold, too.
But with that huge palm wrapped around mine, my hand pinned completely still, something that might vaguely be called a sense of security washed over me.
"Um...! We are the adventurer party assigned to escort you, Saintess!"
Just then, fists came hammering rudely against the door.
I flinched at the noise, and the grip around my hand tightened.
Ah. It's warm.
"Enter."
The priest's voice had gone a bit rough.
The door swung open, and three young men and women filed in wearing grim expressions.
One had a dagger strapped at his waist...
One girl carried some bizarre-looking staff.
Altogether, they had the kind of look that made me worry whether they were experiencing some kind of psychotic episode.
If I'd read the occasional web novel like a normal person, maybe I'd have had some idea what situation this was.
Should've spent that Spanish-study time on web novels instead...
"Saintess!"
"Huh?"
The lot of them planted themselves in front of me and stared me down with deadly serious faces.
I jerked backward in alarm —
which only left me pressed flat against the headboard of the bed...
It was scary.
Total strangers, glaring at me like they wanted to kill me...
"We are so sorry!"
"Huh?"
The words they bellowed sailed clean past my expectations.
I have never met you people in my life.
What exactly are you apologizing for?
"We were formed to be your escort, Saintess! But when we came face to face with the Black Dragon, we all succumbed to terror and fled! We are truly sorry! We should have protected you at the cost of our very lives!"
"Ah..."
"W-well, thank goodness you're safe. Heh heh. We were worried the dragon might have, you know, violated you. If that beast had had his way, by now you'd surely be—"
"You little—! Will you shut your mouth already!"
"Gah—!"
My head dropped.
Because it was true. I had been violated.
I could feel it right now — warm dragon semen still sitting deep inside me — so what was there to say.
God. Dammit.
I wanted to scrape it out.
But there was no way to get at what had settled deep inside my womb, and that only made my mood sink even lower.
Hm?
Just then, I caught sight of a crowd of people hauling farming tools bustling past the window.
They seemed to be gathering in front of the building, their footsteps growing louder and thicker by the moment.
"Now then. Do you all admit to the charge of abandoning your duty to protect the Saintess?"
"We admit it! We are filled with regret! If you would only grant us mercy—"
"Enough. If you admit it, then get out of my sight. I can't stand the look of you."
"Yes! Yes, sir! We are truly sorry! We deeply reflect on our failures! Should you ever require the services of Luke's Party again, we will offer you a generous discount!"
Right up until they left, the big-sword-on-his-back one kept rubbing his hands together, making an absolute spectacle of himself.
I could more or less see where those losers' futures were headed.
Turning my head sharply away, I soon heard the door creak open and shut again in quick succession.
"How dare you abandon the Saintess and run!"
"W-wait a moment! What is the meaning of—"
"Kiyaaaaah!"
The wet thud of farming implements slamming down somewhere.
Then screams erupted, and the sound of flesh being torn.
It was a long while before that gruesome noise finally stopped.
By then I'd turned my face away from the door, eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Ah. Those poor people.
No. Wait. They left me to be raped by a dragon. Maybe dying is exactly what they deserve.
My feelings were a mess.
"Truly a blessing, Saintess. Because you are chosen by God, it seems even that wicked dragon did not dare lay hands on your life."
"Yes..."
"You must still be exhausted. Haha. Forgive me. Please rest more."
"Ah..."
The priest rose to his feet with a smile.
The moment his palm left mine, a wave of cold came rushing in.
Cold.
I know it's belated to notice now, but this place is really, really cold.
Something. I want something warm...
"Rest well, Saintess."
But the priest only offered a bittersweet smile.
Then he seized the laundry girl by the back of her collar and dragged her out with him.
And just like that, I was alone.
Alone, in a room that was neither large nor small.
The instant the people were gone, there was something I had to check.
"Haaa..."
For the first time, I examined my body in detail.
Pale white skin, slender limbs.
And two masses of fat sitting on my chest, heavy and oppressive, like something had been placed on top of me.
The sight, the sensation — it all felt like I was still trapped inside a dream.
I hiked up the skirt and inspected below.
The faint dampness I'd noticed earlier was real; everything down there was already soaked.
Only now did I truly understand.
No — I'd known before. I'd known all along, but only now did it land.
I had become a woman.
The thing that once symbolized my manhood — a good deal longer than fifteen centimeters — was gone, and in its place sat something roughly fifteen centimeters deep.
It didn't take long to accept that fact.
I'd already been forced to accept it, mind blank, while a dragon had his way with me.
What I wasn't used to was the outside — this part that looked, at a glance, perfectly normal.
Surely it had been stretched to tearing when it took that massive thing.
I watched it get spread open to an absurd width with my own eyes.
"Ah..."
I slid a finger down and pressed it inside, and my head tipped back on its own.
A strange, ticklish feeling flooded my groin.
It tingled as if my entire inside were being stimulated at once.
Back then I'd been in too much pain — numb with it — but now I could feel every inch of my own finger, sharp and clear.
Ah. So this is what it feels like to be a woman.
"Ah-hnn...!"
When I tried to go a little deeper, something caught, a sensation of being blocked.
Nope.
This is definitely not happening.
It was obvious that forcing my way past it would feel better, but I couldn't do it.
If I did, I was afraid I'd fly off somewhere far, far away and never come back.
I had zero desire to get accustomed to this body.
Because I was going back. Soon.
I had no clue when, or how, but I was going back.
"Hnn... so this is the Saintess..."
Too frightened to do more than timidly prod around the shallows, I arrived at one realization.
The fact that my passage — stretched to at least double, no, triple its normal width — and my organs, crushed nearly flat, were both perfectly intact meant only one thing.
My body does not take wounds.
Or rather, even when wounded, it heals in an instant.
I'd bled plenty, yet recovered without a mark — the fact that everyone assumed I'd simply been menstruating made that obvious enough.
Something like a saint's divine blessing, perhaps?
After all, even the country-girl Saintess in the real world had been granted the absurd cheat ability of maxed-out battle command. In a web novel world, a power like this wasn't strange at all.
"Haa... haa..."
I'd finished taking stock of my body's condition, more or less.
I'd been transmigrated into the body of a woman called the Saintess, with a recovery ability that defied all reason.
But the next problem was the real one.
Beyond that, I had no way of knowing anything.
This body's name.
The name of the warm priest who had taken my hand in his.
The name of the girl who had so diligently washed my clothes.
I had no way to learn any of it.
What if I closed my eyes and opened them again, and all of them were gone?
What if I was pinned to the floor again, being violated?
What if I was trapped in that hellish dream all over again?
Suddenly my heart was pounding, hammering, growing frantic.
"Hnn...!"
I tried to sit up — and tumbled clean off the bed.
My upper body moved exactly as I willed it. My lower half would not listen at all.
My legs simply wouldn't work properly.
They responded, but whether the muscles were slack or seized up, no matter what I did, no strength would go into them.
Well, no shit. I got pounded until my pelvis nearly broke — it'd be weirder if my lower body were fine.
"Hm?"
No, wait.
A strange question surfaced, and my mind went blank.
When something that thick goes in, the pelvis — everything, really — is supposed to shatter. That's how it should work.
And yet while my passage had torn, I'd never felt the pain of breaking bone.
If I had, I genuinely would have passed out on the spot.
"Ha. Insane."
I twisted around to look behind me — and recoiled in horror.
I hadn't even paid attention, but now that I looked: an ass so enormous it was frankly alarming.
How was my waist obscenely thin while my hips were this big?
What part of this looks like a saint to anyone?
This is just a courtesan's body.
And these breasts...
My nipples drag along the floor and it hurts.
Haah. Unbelievable.
They're trying to spill right out over the top of my clothes.
Just how big are these things?
"Mmmgh..."
I'm losing my mind.
This can't be right.
This body is just walking sex.
Or no — I can't even walk right now, so maybe the accurate term is crawling sex.
Either way, these absurdly oversized breasts and hips make me feel something every single time — dragged along the floor, bumped against a wall, or hell, even just brushed by a passing breeze.
"Ah—"
Then the door burst open, and I flinched so hard that my collar scraped down against my chest.
If it grazes me now, while I'm this sensitive...
Ah. I'm in trouble.
I haven't been able to use the bathroom this whole time, and my bladder is completely full.
"Saintess. Are you all right?"
"Ah."
It's coming.
Something is coming.
It's coming, and it's coming out where everyone can see—
Ssssshh...
"Don't look at me!"
"S-Saintess. My deepest apologies..."
The instant I screamed, the priest lifted his gaze, unable to hide his bewilderment.
Feeling the warmth spreading down my legs, I shuddered, beyond any control of my own body.
My life was ruined.
I wanted to die. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to die.