Welcome, First Time Being an Anomaly? (2)
The plan was simple.
Have you ever heard of those games where you walk into a cursed house and try to figure out what the ghost really is? In those games, the ghost chips away at the player's sanity by tossing cups, slamming doors, and pulling other little stunts—and once that sanity drops below a certain threshold, the hunting begins.
Strictly speaking, hunting wasn't my goal. Still, I could pull a lot of inspiration from those games. On top of that, the notice board even had tips for newbies.
So even Anomalies are into efficient farming these days, huh…?
Essence farming—the kind of thing only some song-obsessed god could ever make wholesome again. Still, scaring ordinary people was clearly a more stable way to harvest Essence than risking a fight with Ghost Hunters.
Is this the safe-bet skilled-trade factory job of the afterlife?
My plan wasn't the slow-burn method of conditioning the homeowner over time, but if everything went according to script, one good scare shouldn't be a problem.
Ding-dong— knock knock.
"Anyone home? We're here on a report of unpaid rent."
"Ugh, that smell. Wait—is this a corpse smell?"
They're here.
Two men's voices. The word "report" suggested they were probably cops. Funny thing, though—ghosts in media always phase through walls and fly around with X-ray vision, but I had none of that. I could only move at a normal walking pace, like I'd just been turned into a regular invisible man.
Either way, the prep was already done. Lights off. Faucet left slightly running. My corpse angled just so.
I'd wanted to drag the body somewhere more dramatic, but I didn't have that kind of strength.
Clatter— clatter—
Someone frantically dialed 911, and then came the sound of the locksmith they'd brought picking the lock.
Click—
"Ugh, what is that smell. Wait… Officer, is that a body?!"
"Officer Lee, get the police line up and lock down the area. Now."
One of them stepped outside to secure the scene, but it still wasn't time.
While the tape went up, the remaining officer flipped on the room light and bent over my corpse to check it.
"Tsk tsk… What a waste. So young."
"Officer, perimeter's secure!"
"Good. Officer Lee—what did they teach you at the academy for situations like this?"
"Yes, sir! In cases like this, we preserve the scene and visually assess the approximate cause of death!"
"Right. Now bend down here and check the neck. No ligature marks or wounds that I can se—"
Now!
Creeeak— SLAM!
I lifted the doorstop just enough and tugged the hinge side of the front door so it gathered momentum and swung shut on its own.
"Whoa! Jeez—Officer Lee, did you seriously not prop the door?"
"No, sir! There's no way I—"
Sorry. That was actually me. You look like a rookie, so go easy on him.
"Eh, must've been a strong gust. Where were we?"
"The neck wounds, sir!"
"Right. Anyway, if there's no obvious trauma or defensive wounds, lonely death in the apartment is the most likely call. The National Forensic Service can handle the rest of the cause-of-death work and the autopsy."
Ah, so that's the protocol.
Training was training, but I still had a job to do.
Clatter, thunk— rollll…
Creeeak—
Rattle-rattle.
I knocked a cup off the kitchen counter, cracked the bathroom door, gave the window a little shake—the whole production. If nobody had reacted, it would've been a total waste… but luckily, the one who looked like a rookie had excellent hit feedback.
"Wha—?!"
"Hyeek!"
"Hiiik!"
Now I finally understood why the haunted-house staff at amusement parks always zero in on the cowards first. People who aren't scared just… never get scared, no matter what you do.
Oh. Something's flowing in.
Was this that Essence you were supposed to be able to sense on instinct? It was hard to describe—like something plumping my soul back up. Imagine fasting a full day for an endoscopy, then suddenly tearing into fried chicken and beer. Yeah. That. Energy was coming back. I felt like I could move heavier things now.
When I circled back for a look, the senior officer's eyes on his previously rock-solid rookie were going colder by the second.
"Officer Lee. Don't tell me you're scared."
"N-No, sir! I'm fine!"
Yeah, real convincing with that cold sweat pouring off you.
Zzt— click.
I worked the room switch so the lights flickered, then died. You know how every kid messes with the light switch growing up, trying to get it perfectly level? Of course, the ending was always a smack on the back of the head for wasting electricity.
"Huh? What's wrong with the lights."
"Must be the old building, sir. I'll go flip them back on!"
The rookie's face had gone paper-white as he scrambled to his feet. Maybe he just wanted to look like he wasn't scared.
For the record, the place I'd been renting was less than five years old. Practically new construction.
Mmm… this is gourmet.
The greater the fear, the better the quantity and quality of Essence pouring in. If before had been fried chicken, this was omakase.
At this rate, I couldn't even imagine how good the finale was going to taste.
Before the rookie could fully straighten up, I quickly worked just the fingertips of my corpse, snagged his ankle, and tugged the head slightly so it was staring right at him.
"Officer, why are you grabbing my ank—huh? GYAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
The rookie tore free of my wrist and bolted outside, screaming the whole way.
That counted as a massive success.
The other one stormed out looking ready to murder someone, though… rest in peace to that guy too…
You never know. Maybe he'd die someday, become an Anomaly, and we'd meet again. There's a story that when a person dies, the Anomaly that killed them shows up first to greet them. I've always liked that one.
Anyway—I could definitely feel the power boost. Before, I'd been roughly a two-weeks-starved UNICEF priority case. Now I was more like a well-fed, warm-backed, sturdy young man.
But that wasn't my main concern.
Points! The shop! A new body! New abilities!
If all I wanted was to keep my soul intact, living on as a ghost like this would probably be fine. But I'd been a dopamine addict even before I died. The idea of spending an even longer afterlife on a dopamine detox? Absolutely not happening.
Well… mostly I just wanted to experience all those clichés I'd only ever read about firsthand.
I pulled up the gallery window right away.