The Eighth Ordeal of Season 8
France aggressively promoted its invention of inorganic fertilizer. —A fertilizer made solely by human reason. A synthesized fertilizer through chemistry—emphasizing its de-wilding qualities. This won fervent acclaim from Enlightenment thinkers across Europe.
"This is it. We've finally escaped the dark ages!"
It was the pure embodiment of reason, free from mysticism. Yet this de-wilding propaganda unexpectedly failed to sway Europe's heads of state.
"Isn't it just a bit more complicated quicklime? We've had fertilizers like that overflowing already."
To the governments, inorganic fertilizer seemed merely a derivative of volcanic ash and lime-based ones. "Sure, if the new fertilizer boosts yields, they'll export more to us." For them, the triumph of reason mattered less than bread on the table right now. The volcanic winter that began with the Laki volcano had chilled Europe further, plunging the continent into famine.
"Without the Eden Treaty, we'd all have starved."
Britain endured thanks to French flour prices soaring to 130 francs per sack. "Short on food? That's because you're still using serf-era farming methods. Taxes are about the same everywhere." Prussia scraped by exploiting Poland. "Blood is thicker than water, after all." Spain imported ample grain from France as a friendly nation. "My in-laws have my back." Portugal quietly tagged along for the friendly-nation perks. "France is now giving cash as 'donations.'"
"When we asked for cash, they gave goods; now that we need goods, they offer cash."
The Papal States caught a breather thanks to France's 'donations.' But Austria was different.
"Bread! Bread! Give us bread!"
With successive crop failures compounded by bourgeois hoarding, Austria couldn't escape famine. "40 francs for a loaf? You expect me to buy that now?" Bread prices in Austria skyrocketed daily, a single loaf eventually costing three months' wages for urban laborers. The Austrian treasury had long been drained by endless wars, and even the scraps they had couldn't buy potatoes from France—being an unfriendly nation.
"You said you'd only control wheat exports!"
"Our own country is hit by famine too."
From January 1, 1785, France halved wheat export quotas to unfriendly nations, gradually expanding restrictions and quotas over the year until completely sealing exports by year's end. France had its own excuses, of course. The Grímsvötn eruption's sulfuric acid had dried Europe's rain clouds, bringing mega-droughts to spring and summer. This wasn't France's problem alone but a shared plague across central and western Europe, leaving unfriendly nations like Austria unable to ramp up pressure.
"Even with fertilizer, wheat still needs water to grow. Please understand."
In the end, the unfriendly nations had no choice but to relent. As a result, northern Italian minor states (excluding the Papal States) and Austria suffered extreme famines. Unfriendly nations like Austria couldn't hold out through 1785. Fields frozen by the 1783 cold snap were swept away in the 1784 spring floods. Floodwaters embedded gravel and driftwood in the soil, ruining all farmland near floodplains. Autumn 1784 saw wheat sown beyond the floodplains, only for successive winter frosts to freeze it solid. The 1785 drought then parched those outer fields completely. Dust storms swept away viable land, turning it into more dust bowls. No crops could grow on the desertified soil.
This unprecedented mega-drought affected Africa too. With not a drop of rain falling on North Africa and the Sahara, African plants withered and died. Starved Sahara locusts migrated south and north in search of food. Just then, light rains fell for a week across North Africa and southern Europe. The early spring showers that gave farmers a brief respite ironically turned to disaster. The northward-migrating Sahara locusts, riding Africa's Sirocco winds, laid eggs in North African puddles after the rains. They swarmed, clustered, and multiplied. Like sandstorms, they ravaged southern Europe and the Italian peninsula. Southern European farmers mistook the swarms for clouds. The clouds scattered like snow near fields, devouring every crop in sight. It was a living blizzard in summer.
"Burn them."
Louis XVI established firebreak lines based on Avignon in southern France and deliberately set blazes to halt the locusts' northward advance.
"We've stopped their spread to central and northern regions, but eggs remain. One rain in May, and fire won't suffice."
"Then have the Ministry of Agriculture and the Academy collaborate on it. Full authority granted."
He delegated locust re-infestation prevention to the Academy and Ministry of Agriculture. "Time to prove our worth. Nail this, and we score points." The Ministry seized the chance to assert itself with aggressive pest control. "Fields later. Eradication first." They assigned public works in southern French cities and villages for the campaign.
"Corpses acidify the soil. They're precursors to volatile bases, but decay mixes in other nasties."
They avoided the crude method of torching farmland outright. Pest control teams followed the Academy's chemical guidelines. "Limewater should do it. Kills locust eggs and neutralizes soil." They sprayed limewater on fields to suffocate locust nymphs and prevent soil acidification. "Just water here, so bleach it." Abandoned wells and springs got dilute bleach to purify the water. "Mosquitoes dying too?" It yielded minor mosquito control as a bonus, but paled next to locusts. "No farming in forests, so spray hard." Forests and mountains got sulfur solutions.
This aggressive administration dealt a fatal blow to southern French agriculture. "The land's dead." The chemicals, meant for pests, devastated the soil, killing off bugs and most plants alike. "Better start over." Most farmers abandoned natural recovery, burning fields to restart from scratch. And surprisingly, this was the right call. Fire incinerated toxins and buried locust and pest eggs. Only ash remained, absorbed into the soil to restore fertility.
"Not edible, but not worth growing either."
Yet chemical residues weren't fully neutralized by ash alone. Olive and grape farms—impossible elsewhere—gratefully resumed without locusts, but opium poppy and hemp cash crop farms gave up on recovery. Reviving those demanded years of fallowing and green manures. "The soil's in awful shape. Care to sell?" Bourgeoisie pounced on the gap.
"Five years idle minimum to farm again, and who knows if locusts return? Better sell and head to safe central or northern regions."
Farmers needed tillable land now; bourgeoisie needed factory sites. "Central region, huh. Yeah, poppies grow there too." Interests aligned, farmers sold gladly and relocated centrally. Bourgeoisie handled deeds, payments, and transfers, then built factories on the land. Leather processing, textiles, dyes—labor-intensive industries. Some even borrowed for French steam engines. Southern industrial zones emerged, dividing France into three: import-processing sales in the south; cash crops for southern sales in the center; food exports from the north. This shift sharpened regional specialties.
"Or so the reports say."
This division reached Louis XVI via the National Intelligence Agency. But he saw no need to intervene. "Division of labor is industry’s foundation." Viewing it as natural progress, he forbade 'disappearances' of land-buying bourgeoisie. "Food scarcity at this level is ideal. Too much abundance breeds sloth. Farmers need some enlightenment too. Prioritize fertilizer sales to central cash crops."
Per Louis XVI's famine-utilization policy, the government induced slight shortages. "Rations! This week's turnip rations!" Famine-struck villages got potatoes and turnips. Bread was just 10% of allotments.
"Potatoes? You want us eating fodder for swamp rats?"
French commoners naturally rebelled against breadless rations, but "Roasted locusts too—want some?" "Can't eat those." "No choice. South's a locust apocalypse. Heard of the Avignon firebreaks?" Officials stressing national crisis silenced them into taking rations. This erased anti-potato sentiment in France. Better than locusts, after all.
"Aigoo! If it isn't Boss Maxim!"
Rations had other mechanisms. "Here for rations? Everyone! This is the man who paid the 13th highest taxes in Rouen! Big applause for Boss Maxim!!! Thanks to him, taxes flow and rations exist!"
It was the quid pro quo for taxes. "Take your fill!" Honest, high taxpayers faced no limits. "Everyone!!! This is Boss Maxim, running the premium timber mill north of Lac d'Annecy!" But with massive public scrutiny. "Two loaves, three sacks of potatoes, and a plate of roasted locusts! Boss Maxim's taking roasted locusts!!!" Ration clerks announced bourgeois hauls loudly before the crowds. "Please stop. It's for my workers—keep it quiet..." Thus, bourgeoisie couldn't just grab bread in front of thousands. This is how France overcame the famine.