Burying the Memories I Long For

She knew exactly what became of a vampire discovered in times like those. So was making me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠her familiar her passing whim — or some perverse taste of hers?

And for me, no longer human, was that moment good fortune — or bad?

"Ha... I was getting way too immersed, wasn't I?"

I must have sunk so deep into the world inside my memory that somewhere along the way I'd started acting exactly like the me of back then — I caught myself and shook my head hard. By the time that shaking had escalated into headbanging fierce enough to rattle my skull, any number of nameless soldiers ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠had me surrounded.

"Don't move! Move and you're skewered!"

Was it that I was finally coming back to my senses, or that the jellyfish bastard's power was gradually winding down? The faces of the men ringing me in had grown faintly visible — roughly furnished with eyes, noses, and mouths, just barely enough to recognize that those things were supposed to be human.

Even so, the commander's face I could make out tolerably well, unlike the rest. Probably because that terrified expression of his had been branded properly into my memory.

Thank goodness... if it's like this, I'll get to see it one more time.

As I chuckled at the recollection of that dear face, another bellow rang out.

"Hands up!"

Just as ordered, I slowly lifted both hands above my head—

Chunk—

"I told you not to move!!!"

A spear had buried itself in my stomach.

"Kyaaaaaagh!"

"Just kill it! AAAAAAAAGH!"

"O Demon King... please, I beg of you....."

Everything around me was far, far too loud. This place, awash in screams and curses, was the underground prison of the Holy Kingdom.

On the demons they'd taken alive, they roasted, seared, carved apart, and stitched back together..... Humans got thrown into the mix here and there as well, but whatever the case, this was the Holy Kingdom's dungeon, drenched in blood and carnage.

And yet, living through it firsthand, I couldn't help but marvel all over again at just how remarkable the Holy Kingdom truly was.

If they'd been researching the most efficient ways to kill demons, I'd have said nothing. But what those bastards were doing was nothing more than venting their spite. No — it went beyond venting. Cheeks flushed, swooning with pleasure as they tortured demon after demon — that was no act of vengeance on behalf of the dead.

Watching it, I had actually felt a twinge of pity for the demons.

It's just... revolting.

Because by then I knew the purpose that drove them to such atrocities — and that purpose was not a righteous one.

How could anyone defend a cardinal who'd pulled every last tooth from a captured succubus and dragged her along behind him by a chain?

Ugh, that one genuinely makes me want to puke. Even seeing it again, it's too much...

The world flowed past as though someone had hit fast-forward.

Perhaps because every day was an exact copy of the one before, or perhaps because something wanted to show me something. For me, at least, it only meant skipping past the tedious stretches, so there wasn't a single downside.

And so a long, long stretch of time spooled away...

"Die! Just die already!"

Some brat of a priest was swinging a knife at me.

"You monster bastards... every last one of you, just die!"

What had gotten this one so worked up, I wondered. Ah — so it was that day.

"Hey... the Hero ran away, didn't he?"

"How... how could he....."

"Took the Holy Sword and bolted, too?"

Clunk— The young priest dropped the sword he'd been holding.

His face, gone white as a sheet, said everything about the shock rushing through him.

"The man who was supposed to march on the Demon King the day after tomorrow just up and leapt into another world... yeah. We're finished, aren't we?"

"U... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠UAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

Rustle— rustle— Snatching up his knife again in his frenzy, the boy went right on carving at me; I ignored him entirely and simply let a hollow laugh slip out.

"Heh heh....."

The Hero, Mikhail.

The Hero of the present age, the one who had drawn the Holy Sword said to have felled the Demon King in the era of the first Hero, long ago. Once the illegitimate son of a ducal house of the Empire, he had, from the moment he became the Hero, piled up feat upon feat and lifted high the torch of hope.

With the Holy Sword in hand, every sweep of his arm cut scores of demons clean in two, and rising past the high-ranked ones, he claimed the heads of legion-commander-class demons with his own hands. Most famous of all was the day he split the True Ancestor Batori lengthwise in half — and thanks to him, no vampire remained above me anymore.

He was retaking, one by one, the lands that had been stolen from mankind, and preparing the final battle against the Demon King — and right in the middle of it all, he vanished without a trace.

I heard later that he had hurled himself into a gate bound for another dimension, or some such...

And once the Hero was gone, what do you suppose became of humanity?

Hell itself opened its gates, that's what.....

Countless corpses piled up like mountains, and the blood that flowed from them pooled into seas. Kingdoms that had boasted of their resplendent histories collapsed; the great cathedral that proclaimed the Holy Kingdom's majesty crumbled into ruin. The minor states — republics, duchies, and the like — sank without a trace into history's back pages, and all that remained to mankind were three nations, the Empire among them.

What of the other races, you ask? The elves could do nothing but watch as the World Tree — their spiritual pillar, nothing short of a god to them — was split into firewood. Their queen burned with it, arms wrapped around its trunk, dying together with their god...

The dwarves, who had built their home beneath the earth, saw more than half their people buried alive when an ancient demon beast came to roost on top of them — and all the wondrous armaments they had been so proud of went down with them.

The beastfolk, who had lived on nothing but pride, betrayed mankind in a heartbeat the day the Tigerkin — said to be the mightiest of their kind — were annihilated overnight. Though the endings that await traitors were never all that kind.

Guardians of the Balance, Progenitors of Magic, the Greatest Race in Existence... When the dragons, who had borne every one of those titles, finally took the field, the demons seemed ready to be driven back — until the Demon King pried his heavy rear end off his throne and marched out to hunt the dragons personally.

The result? Aside from a handful of dragons living among humans, every last one of them ended up as somebody's leather armor.

And in the midst of that world in chaos, I was living in idle comfort, entirely alone, in a house I had built myself deep in a forest.

"Hmm... it's a little crooked, isn't it?"

Why was it that the asymmetry only ever revealed itself after I'd finished the whole thing?

"Eh... it'll do."

Rebuilding it was more effort than it deserved, so I let it slide and flopped onto the bed. The reason I'd come to live this deep in the woods was a simple one: by then I couldn't stand the sight of any of them — demon or human alike.

Besides, fitting in with people had become impossible, and fitting in with the demons no easier.

When the great cathedral came under attack, a riot had broken out in the underground prison. Some scatterbrained fool had unfastened the restraints on a captured succubus, forgotten to fasten them back on, and thrown her into a cell anyway. Teeth pulled, horns smashed to pieces — none of it changed what she was. A demon's body belonged to an entirely different order of existence than a human's, and with the power-suppressing restraints gone, something as mundane as a lock was never going to stop her.

And so every demon in that place went free and began slaughtering the priests, whoever came within reach...

"Hey, vampire. You should head out too. Go on out there and drain every one of those insects dry."

"Ah... right. I suppose I should."

I took the hand of some hulking demon, blue from head to toe, and rose from my seat. Of course, with the bloodbath in full swing, I quietly eased myself out of the fray and fled.

Ah, that's right...

The cardinal who'd treasured that succubus so dearly lay dead with a massive mace driven straight through his backside. He had died wearing that eerie grin of his, though, so you could call it a fitting end, in its way.

Anyway — after tearing my way out of there with everything I had, I had slipped into a forest where no living soul dwelled, and waited for someone. For her, who would come looking for me here before long.

Just how much time was left, I wondered.

The world was beginning to blur at the edges. Everything around me warped, like a child dabbing paint onto a canvas with bare fingers. The countless colors bled together into a scattered few, and the boundaries between things lost their definition.

And in that dissolving world, I sat in my chair, waiting for her...

Knock, knock—

"P... please... help me....."

Along with the sound of knocking came a voice I had missed so dearly.

"Haa... calm down. Calm down, me....."

I took a moment to even out my breathing, quieted my hammering heart, and closed my hand around the door handle...

CRACK—

A rock came down from somewhere far overhead and cracked me across the skull, and I woke from the long, long dream.

"Ah... for fuck's sake....."

I looked around. The jellyfish bastard's corpse had melted away to little more than a stain, and the arm I'd lost had regenerated — imperfectly.

"Of all the moments to cut out, it had to be there. Ah... this is total dogshit."

Was this what it felt like to be absorbed in a movie, only for the power to go out right at the highlight, the film snapping off mid-scene?

But once I'd choked down my anger and finished regenerating the arm, a second look at it all left me thinking that maybe it was just as well. What was I supposed to do if watching more ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠only made the longing swell even worse? Those days had been painful enough to live through the first time.....

I steeled myself and looked up at the sky; far above, sunlight was spilling down.

"Time to head back."

Flap— With a bittersweet smile, I spread my wings and beat them toward the light.

And as I broke free of the darkness into the open air, the ones there to greet me were the warriors of Nanman, and—

"Uuughhh....."

"Muyeong!!!"

...there was Dang Jihwan, barreling straight at me with a black-red miasma of poison boiling off his body.