Someone Else's Rice Cake Always Looks Bigger

Shff—

Sword qi came slicing through the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wind straight at me, and I flung myself sideways in a panic — a few strands of shorn hair went fluttering off on the breeze...

"What in the..."

I raised my head to see who had thrown the first punch out of nowhere...

"Sis?"

And there was Namgung Han, face scarlet, hammering me with sword qi one blast after another.

Shweeaa— Shweeaaa—

A barrage of sword qi came screaming at me with murderous force, and I rolled across the ground, yelling.

"Why are you doing this all of a sudden! At least tell me the reason!"

"You ask because you do not know? There is no chance you do not know."

"What are you even talking about! Whatever it is, I don't know anything about it..."

"Your name was written bold as brass in that letter — and you claim ignorance?"

"Ah....."

Watching her carry on about the letter with a face so red it looked ready to spout a blood fountain at the first pinprick, I finally remembered the note I'd sent to bait her.

"That was... that was Mulin's doing..."

Habitual blame-shifting spilled out of my mouth, but...

"Today I shall properly cure you of that habit!"

Namgung Han's eyes had long since rolled back with rage; she didn't so much as pretend to hear my excuse, and clasped her sword firmly in both hands.

The blue glow of her sword qi slowly deepened into a rich indigo, until at last sword gang rose along her blade.

It looked like a sword forged of lapis lazuli — mysterious, even beautiful, but...

"Wow... Squad Leader, whoever coined it, that title 'Mad Sword' really does suit her."

"Doesn't it? Next to the Mad Sword, Lady Mulin's practically a fairy... Young Master! Fight on!"

"If you've got time to crack jokes, how about pulling her back!"

The sword's owner was roughly half out of her mind...

and unfortunately, that sword was pointed at me, so with no time to admire the sword gang I was witnessing for the first time anywhere outside the Dang Clan's council hall, I busied myself preparing to bolt.

"Sis...? Let's let the anger cool and talk this out."

As the saying goes: meet a wild beast in the mountains, and never show it your back — retreat slowly, one step at a time.

Thud— thud—

I began backing away, slow and careful.

But that plan of mine burst like a soap bubble...

"Hoo....."

The moment a sigh left Namgung Han's lips, my whole body was crushed under an instant, immense weight.

"This goddamn... the most broken clan in the game, living up to its name again..."

If the Dang Clan had the Poison Blood Heart Art, famed for making poison run through one's veins in place of blood, then the Namgung Clan had the Emperor's Sword Form — the technique that pressed all things beneath its heel.

Seriously, every single time I end up on the receiving end of this thing it makes me feel filthy...

True to form for the secret art of the most overpowered clan — the one always recommended to every newcomer playing Murim Conqueror — the Emperor's Sword Form's effect was simple, and devastatingly strong.

The greater the gap between you and your opponent, the fiercer the binding — and it even bit, to some degree, into foes ranked above you. Taking a top-tier crowd-control skill head-on like that, the cursing came entirely on its own.

"Shit... it's too filthy to fight fair against... Sis, isn't this cheating?"

Step—

"Nobody needs to stack Emperor's Sword Form on top of sword gang..."

Step—

"Haah..... you're the one who threw the first punch, remember?"

Step—

For all my continued diplomacy, she kept coming, blade dyed a deep, frigid blue...

"Dushik, pull everyone back."

"Yes...? Everyone, fall back!"

To answer her determination to see blood no matter what, I steeled myself and let both arms hang loose at my sides.

"Ah... not a single cloud in the sky. Not even a breeze..."

Drip, drip, driiip—

I channeled qi into my fingertips and clenched my fists, and beads of blood began to seep from my palms...

Drop by drop, the blood that had been falling toward the ground had, at some point, begun turning to smoke.

As the distance between Namgung Han and me slowly closed, she finally looked me in the eye and spoke.

"Are you quite prepared?"

"Oh? Were you waiting for me? I'm so touched I could cry."

"Hah... Today I shall beat the difference in our realms directly into your body, so learn it well."

"Sure... knock yourself out. All I need is one clean hit and I win anyway."

"Ambitious, aren't we."

And with those final words, Namgung Han's sword came falling down on me.

KWAANG—

The blade had cut nothing but empty air, and yet the ground caved in from the aftershock. Watching it, I sucked my teeth and thought:

Tssk... there is absolutely no blocking that head-on.

Gang, in the first place, was something like the exclusive privilege of warriors who had reached the Transcendent Realm.

Sword gang, saber gang, even spear gang... unless you were a martial artist of the same Transcendent Realm, it was simply unbeatable, and for the me of right now there was no answer but to evade.

Shaaaaa—

But I hadn't exactly been standing around sucking my thumb either...

Little by little, a red mist began to settle over the training grounds.

"Uhh..... everyone, pull back further!"

"Y...yes, sir!"

As the vicious poison qi came rolling toward them, Dang Giyeong hastily drew the Green Heaven Squad even further back.

PWANG— PWANG— PWAANG—

Namgung Han's sword kept flying at me, one strike after another — low, high, middle, high...

A heavy sword... no... this is closer to a tyrant's sword.

Her blade came at me like a tyrant's, bursting with ear-splitting detonations even as it cleaved nothing but empty space.

"Scurrying this way and that like a little rat, are you? Then go ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠on — try dodging this one too."

Before her words had even finished, the Emperor's Sword Form began binding my body tighter than before.

Namgung Han drew her sword back toward her own flank...

Hold on... why does this stance look so familiar...

KWAAAM—

— and thrust it at me.

It was much the same stance as that punk from Qingcheng whose face I could barely remember anymore — but where his sword had pierced like an awl, hers came on as if to pulverize everything in its path.

When had I been driven back this far? The wall that had stood mere paces behind me blew open as though rammed by a siege engine.

Pit— pit-pat— splat—

My legs refused to budge no matter what, so I'd been forced, reluctant as could be, to wrench the firing line of her sword gang off course with both bare hands — and now blood was streaming freely from both palms.

Head hanging, I stared down at my hands and spat a curse.

"Ah..... fuck."

"A martial artist wouldn't be milking an injury this minor for sympathy already, would he?"

Just as Namgung Han, walking slowly toward the bowed Dang Muyeong, opened her mouth to speak —

Flinch—

"Young Master! You mustn't!!!"

In that instant she felt as though countless eyes had fixed themselves upon her, and she hastily retreated a step — while Dang Giyeong, watching from a distance, shouted at their Young Clan Head:

"Restrain yourself!!!"

But even at his call, Dang Muyeong kept his head lowered in silence, giving no answer whatsoever...

What... was that just now?

Goosebumps crawling over her own skin, Namgung Han could only stare at him with a trace of bewilderment.

"Young Master!!!"

".........."

No matter how Giyeong bellowed his name, Dang Muyeong just stood there frozen and unresponsive — and Giyeong muttered, unease creeping into his voice.

"Those things of his really, really shouldn't be used..."

Of the blood-demon powers the Young Master had shown him some time ago, a few — like the Blood Orb — had looked comparatively normal, but...

"Y...Young Master... what exactly is this?"

"Just a grab technique. It's honestly quite handy, but..."

"If you go showing that to people, I suspect you'll end up blacklisted in the Murim records as a villain, won't you?"

"Right? That's why I'm thinking I'll only ever use it in a true emergency — then slaughter every last witness on the scene."

"Please. Just don't use it at all."

They were nothing like the martial arts of the righteous sects — no, hardly anything you could even call martial arts — and having witnessed those grotesque abilities with his own two eyes, Giyeong prayed with all his heart that Dang Muyeong would never again unleash the things he'd shown that day.

And so that fleeting moment — which felt excruciatingly long to at least one person present — finally passed...

"Ah!"

Suddenly Dang Muyeong lifted his head, face bright and refreshed, and let out a cry of realization.

The eerie presence from before had vanished, and Namgung Han narrowed her eyes at him.

"Have you perhaps attained enlightenment?"

"I suppose... something like that? Shall we continue, then?"

Grinning wide, Dang Muyeong raised both hands — where earlier there had been mere qi gathered at his palms, now...

"Gang qi... so you have become Transcendent Realm in the blink of an eye."

Ki that shimmered like black and crimson flame coiled around his hands.

I beamed pleasantly at Namgung Han, who was staring back at me, dumbfounded.

"Phase two begins now."

And as I said it, I clenched both fists...

FWOOOOM—

The blood mist filling the air around us ignited like a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠splash of burning oil and erupted.

"Ngh!!!"

Namgung Han drew her sword-wielding right hand to her left flank and carved out one immense slash...

Whiiiing—

and the sword wind born from her blade drove the explosion back.

"Not yet twenty, and already at the Transcendent Realm. A monster, you are."

"You're too kind..."

They smiled at each other for a beat — then hurled themselves at each other in the same breath.

PAK— PAK—

Two detonations rang out in the space of a blink.

THUD—

Namgung Han and Dang Muyeong toppled forward, out cold.

"Heh heh... the Namgung Clan Head and the Dang Clan Head were sure blessed when it came to children..."

At the sight of an old man strolling over at an easy gait, sheathed saber resting across his shoulder, Dang Giyeong and the Green Heaven Squad scrambled over and bowed their heads.

"We pay our respects to the venerable Saber King!"

"That's quite enough now. What's all the ruckus for, greeting an old fogey from the back rooms?"

Hand waving lazily, Saber King Paeng Juhon walked up to the two fallen youngsters and studied their faces for a moment...

"Hmm... this one I can make sense of, but what in the world is this one supposed to be?"

"W...well, you see..."

"Anyone who saw him would swear he isn't human."

"P...pardon.....?"

"I'm certain San was a year older than this fellow... and he's already at the Transcendent Realm... He outshines even his own brother."

Chuckling heartily to himself, Paeng Juhon at last turned away from the bewildered Dang Giyeong and said as he left the training grounds:

"When the two lads come round, tell 'em I came by looking for 'em."

"Yes, sir! Travel safely!"

"I will, I will~"

Soon after the Saber King departed, hand still flapping lazily over his shoulder...

Dang Giyeong tucked Namgung Han and Dang Muyeong under either arm and headed for the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠residence, calling back over his shoulder:

"Deputy Leader, take the squad and see to the cleanup. I'll carry the Young Master and Young Clan Head Namgung back."

"Understood."

Fortunately, the training grounds that had been thick with poison qi were now brimming with fresh air — their Young Master's artful demonstration of controlled explosion had burned every last trace of it away.

"Phew..... I suppose that's one mercy."

Dang Giyeong unceremoniously dumped his weighty Young Clan Head — and the even weightier Young Clan Head of the Namgung Clan — onto the floor of the residence hall.

"An unfamiliar ceiling."

When I came to, an unfamiliar ceiling swam into view, and I was still fumbling to gather my addled senses when —

"Awake, are we?"

"GYAAAAH!"

PAK—

I drove my fist into the face that had popped up out of nowhere right in front of me...

"Dushik....."

"You called, sir?"

"This time you've really gone and—"

"Gone and... what?"

"—you lunatic! Who shoves their face right up into someone's like that!"

There was the small matter of a thoroughly sulky Dang Giyeong, but...

in any case, I made my way to the Saber King's residence together with Namgung Han.