Swallow Whatever You're Served and You're Bound to Get Screwed

Among the righteous sects, it had long been customary to bestow epithets like Dragon or Phoenix upon the most outstanding of the younger generation's rising stars. The least of these stood at the Peak Realm, and the prevailing assessment held that sooner or later, most would reach the Transcendent Realm.

That said, among the young martial artists of the age there also existed those who, despite possessing talent so overwhelming it brooked no argument, were never once called Dragon or Phoenix...

"I wonder if Muyeong made it there safely... Before I head back to Sichuan, I really ought to stop by the Zhuge Clan Estate and see his face at least once."

Among them was the Tang Clan's Poison Butterfly, Dang Mulin. Then there was the Zhuge Clan's Little Kongming, whose martial attainment was thin beside the rising stars of the other great clans, but whose genius for formations and stratagems had people hailing him as Zhuge Liang reborn.

Dang Mulin was an exceptional case, of course — but such people all shared one thing in common: talents that ordinary mortals could not begin to comprehend...

"Oh my... you've changed quite a bit in a year?"

Fury surged through me at the sight of that figure lazily deflecting, with the very tip of a blade, the hand I had thrown with everything I had — and I flung out my other hand.

'Just one hit... land just one hit...'

To be honest, I was flailing away at that bastard on the simple conviction that if I could just land a single blow, I'd get to vent everything coiled in my gut — but...

"You've grown a great deal... and yet, still not enough."

That bastard kept parrying my hands with an expression of pure, unhurried ease.

Watching him appraise me so serenely while lording that composure over me, I lunged, baring my teeth in a spiteful snarl—

"That said, I fail to see much point in going any further."

With those words, the figure shot backward in a flash, threw a wide gulf between us, and settled into a stance, face gone grave.

The instant I moved my feet to close the distance again, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the figure seized the sword in both hands, raised it high overhead, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and drew in an enormous breath.

"Ssssshhhhaaaah—"

I hurled myself at that figure, torso pitched forward like a sprinter driving out of the blocks—

"Hup!!!"

The moment that breath cut off, azure sword qi congealed along the blade, and as the sword fell, a solid mass of that qi came surging toward me.

"Ah... shit!"

The instant that murderous qi — vicious enough to make my knees buckle from sight alone — came screaming at me, I spat a curse and scrambled to throw myself off its path, but...

"!!!!!

In that instant, my body had frozen stiff for no reason I could name, and my feet refused to leave the ground.

Thanks to that, I could do nothing but choke down ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my dread, cram every scrap of strength into my arms, and raise them crossed to meet the blow.

BOOM—

A thunderclap split the training grounds as a pillar of dust bloomed skyward...

Before long, a soft breeze swept the dust aside, revealing Dang Muyeong sprawled unconscious across the ground and Namgung Han standing at the center of the arena, calmly straightening her slightly loosened hair.

Dang Jihyeon smacked her forehead and muttered under her breath.

"Sigh... they did say the Young Clan Head of the Namgung Clan is a Transcendent Realm master. So why does our own Young Clan Head have to go flaring up with pointless bravado, take one hit, and keel over..."

Face burning with secondhand embarrassment, she hoisted her Young Clan Head off the ground where he lay in a pathetic heap, gave Namgung Han a curt nod, and marched out of the arena.

"Uh— not that way!"

The Chief Steward who had been standing beside Dang Jihyeon chased after her and out of the arena, and once a stretch of time had passed...

"Hah... utterly absurd."

She slid the sword back into its sheath and murmured, studying her own raised hand.

"Mmgh..."

Staring at the palm mottled with blotches of black, she let out a low groan and drove the poison qi from her body; only when her hand had returned to its original color did she scratch her head, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠inspecting it.

She looked for a moment in the direction Dang Muyeong had been carried off, then broke into a wry chuckle.

"A man who was barely Third-Rate a year ago has turned into this? It's not as though he simply turned over a new leaf... so the real monster was someone else entirely."

Like the hem of one's clothes getting soaked even under an umbrella on a rainy day — she had blocked every last bit of it, and yet the poison qi had ridden up her blade and gnawed into her flesh all the same. Clicking her tongue, she shook her head in sheer bafflement.

"AAAAAARGH!"

Dang Muyeong snapped awake, thrashing on the bed in the quarters assigned to him.

He bolted upright and scanned the room —

"Coming back to your senses at last?"

Dang Jihyeon was staring down at him, eyes gleaming with mortification.

"That bitch! Where's that bitch!"

When I demanded Namgung Han's whereabouts with my face twisted into knots, she answered listlessly.

"And what would you do if you knew? March over there and what, exactly? You already took one hit and passed out cold..."

Struck speechless, I could only listen as she pressed on.

"How many times did I send you voice transmissions telling you she's in the Transcendent Realm? That you couldn't win? She isn't even counted among the rising stars to begin with, and you strutted around so confident just because you once lucked your way past a Transcendent Realm master — well, don't you look splendid now?"

Her words stabbed into my chest like daggers, again and again...

"I mean... if I actually used the True Ancestor's power, I'd beat her with room to spare..." I mumbled.

"Hm? What was that? If you have something to say, say it louder."

"Nothing..."

"In any case, if you insist on dueling someone, stick to the Hwangbo Clan or the Peng Clan. Even the Lady herself would have her hands full with that one. She didn't earn the epithet 'Mad Sword' for nothing."

"Mad Sword? You mean a shining sword? Well, it was all glittery earlier, now that you mention it..."

"Not that kind of mad. It's because she's a madwoman obsessed with the sword that the name stuck."

At the Namgung Clan Head's birthday banquet, when the talk turned to marriage proposals, she declared:

— words that made the Namgung Clan Head clutch the back of his neck and collapse at his own birthday feast. At that, the Sword King declared:

"Very well then — if you set foot in the Transcendent Realm before your thirtieth year, the seat of Young Clan Head is yours."

To which she coolly replied, "It won't even take that long." — and a mere four years past her twentieth year, she did indeed reach the Transcendent Realm, accepted the mantle of Young Clan Head, and carved her name into Namgung Clan legend.

Afterward, she left behind a single sheet of paper reading 'I am off to see the world for the sake of my mental training' and wandered the Jianghu raising one storm after another —

her conduct so deranged that some insisted her epithet couldn't possibly mean 'one mad about the sword,' and had to be shorthand for 'a mad swordswoman.'

"Hah... she's a complete psycho."

As I let out a dumbfounded laugh after Dang Jihyeon's explanation, she nodded and said:

"In a certain sense, she is rather remarkable, I suppose."

"Well... you need look no further than the time she went on about taking a male courtesan right in front of the Lady..."

"She said that in front of my sister?!"

When I asked, wearing the expression of a man still parsing what he'd just heard, Dang Jihyeon stroked her own arm and answered.

"Yes... from what I've heard, the two of them fought while flinging lethal poisons back and forth, and the Blade King himself had to step in and pull them apart."

"I chose my words poorly... she's not a psycho — she's a bona fide lunatic..."

"Hence, Mad Sword. Even if she does reach the Profound Realm someday, I'd wager her epithet won't be Sword King or Sword Emperor — it'll be something like Mad Sword Queen."

Just as Dang Jihyeon and I had spent a good long while tearing into her...

"Ahem... even I would feel a little hurt, hearing such talk about me over and over."

A voice drifted in from beyond the door.

The two of us looked toward it with dumbstruck faces, and there stood the very star of our gleeful roast — Namgung Han, letting herself in with a sheepish expression.

At the sheer absurdity of the scene, I asked in a flat voice:

"Seriously... why are you here?"

"You're the little brother of an old frenemy I haven't seen in an age, and we never got to talk earlier — so I came to have a bit of pleasant conversation."

"Was that really necessary?"

"Well, what can I say... when I've set my mind on something, I do it."

I had once idly wondered whether I would ever again, in my life in the martial world, meet anyone as shameless as Dang Giyeong. Now that idle fancy had become flesh, I failed utterly to school my expression and answered flatly:

"You're asking the man you once called your male courtesan to share a cozy little chat? Isn't that beyond shameless?"

At my words, she produced an embarrassed laugh.

"Ah... you mean that business? There seems to be some misunderstanding — I only said those things because I was drunk. Haha..."

At this 'I was drunk' defense, I kept staring at her with a thoroughly rotten expression, and Namgung Han began scrambling to elaborate.

"You see, back then you were quite the cute little thing — exactly my type — and since you were merely Third-Rate and I judged you'd never make Young Clan Head, I intended to invite you into my service as a concubine. It simply came out rather differently, is all."

Even that left me staring at her with the same rotten expression, so she laughed awkwardly, then shifted her tone.

"Hm... well, in any case — how about we forget the past and go tip back a cup or two?"

"Hah..."

"It's all ancient history, no? Besides, back then that bitch Mulin went wild and hurled Bone-Melting Powder at a perfectly healthy, living person — I took a horrific beating in the process, so let's call it square."

In the privacy of my heart, I promoted Namgung Han to a rank above Dang Giyeong as I answered in a low voice — but...

"You're telling me the Young Clan Heads gathered here for a summit should go guzzling wine while the sun hasn't even set?"

"Oh, don't be like that... I've a fine tavern scouted just ahead, so we'll only nip over for a moment. It's called a summit, but nothing actually gets done, does it?"

The truth was, I hadn't set foot in a single tavern since arriving in this world, and feeling myself sway, I stole a careful glance at Dang Jihyeon...

"Sigh... do as you please, Young Master. It's not as though you'd stay put if I told you not to go."

Taking that as permission-if-not-quite-permission, I set off outside with Namgung Han.

"If the place is a dump, I'm turning straight back, got it?"

"Oh come now — what do you take this Young Clan Head of the Namgung Clan for! Naturally, I've already scouted the finest establishment in the vicinity. Just put your faith in me and follow along."

That repertoire felt awfully familiar from somewhere, and I still didn't trust it one bit — but I followed her out all the same.

Deep in the night, the moon drifting slowly toward the top of the sky, a voice cold with fury rang out from someone's quarters.

"A... a tavern, you say?"

"Yes... there's one just ahead called the Red Flower Pavilion, and he's there now with the Young Clan Head of the Namgung Clan..."

Snap—

Even as her beloved brush snapped clean in two, Jegal Baekhwa paid it not the slightest heed, sitting in grim, silent thought.

After a long moment of deliberation, she said:

"I must go there myself."

She declared she would go to the tavern to retrieve her fiancé, and her retainer — part bodyguard, part runner of miscellaneous errands — scrambled to dissuade her.

"My lady... you cannot mean to walk into a tavern in the dead of night. Would it not be better to call on his quarters tomorrow morning?"

Her answer was resolute.

"No. I will confirm it with my own eyes, this very moment. Guide the way."

In the end, the escort had no choice but to lead Jegal Baekhwa to the tavern.

On a street still busy with comings and goings, I was weaving along shoulder-to-shoulder with Namgung Han, well and thoroughly drunk.

"Aigoo... just call me Big Sis, would you."

"Yes, Big Sis. Your little brother will serve you faithfully from this day forward."

"That's it, that's it..."

The sight of the two Young Clan Heads — the very people meant to lead the righteous path into the future — staggering drunkenly down the street drew odd, sidelong stares from more than a few onlookers.

Then, of all things, Namgung Han suddenly thumped my shoulder and said:

"Uh... u-um... A-woo! Right there, straight ahead..."

"Hm...?"

When I squinted ahead through half-lidded, liquor-drowned eyes, a white-haired girl, of all people, was staring at me with eyes gone round and brimming.

Her face was hard to make out in the dark, so I frowned and peered at her.

"Uh... who are you?"

"!!!!!

At my words, Namgung Han went rigid with horror, hastily peeled herself off my shoulder, and hissed into my ear—

"Isn't that your fiancée!"

— she explained in a frantic rush, but the water had already been spilled. She — my fiancée — glared at me with eyes one blink away from overflowing, while the people around us had turned both eyes and both ears wide open upon this sudden lovers' drama, drinking in the spectacle.

Struggling desperately to hold back her tears, she mastered them at last and shrieked at me:

"Y-you... you trash!"

Confronted with that sight, I couldn't manage a single word. I could only heave a sigh inside as the thought struck me:

'Ah... so I really am trash...'