Marketing Strategy
White shirt and jeans.
I'd come out in what amounted to a uniform issued to cafe part-timers — with the buttons undone all the way from my collar to the middle of my chest.
Not that it mattered. The shirt was too small to button in the first place.
"Haha.... It's a bit small on me."
"Ah...."
"......"
Beside Han Jihee, who was letting out a long sigh, Lee Hayeon hastily turned her head away, as though she'd seen something she was never meant to see.
It wasn't that revealing, honestly.
And my body had come back from the army in perfect shape, too.
"I'm, I'm sorry! It used to belong to a male part-timer, so I thought it would be fine.... I'll go out right now and buy you a new one! Just wait a moment!"
"While you're at it, pants too, please."
"Right!!"
Han Jihee bolted out of the cafe, and before long she was back with a shopping bag in hand.
"I'll go change, then."
"U-um, Woojin-ssi... no, Woojin...!"
"Yes?"
"It's just...."
Fidgeting and glancing back over her shoulder, Han Jihee stepped inside and shut the door behind her.
"Did you have something to tell me?"
"Well, it's about... last night. Or rather, early this morning...."
Was she going to ask me directly?
Frankly, I hoped she wouldn't.
It would make things far too awkward.
But Han Jihee brought it up in the end.
"I'm sorry! I think I made a mistake while I was drunk! No — I did make a mistake! I'm so, so sorry!!"
Not a question — an apology.
Which meant she remembered, clearly and without a doubt, that I hadn't been asleep.
Then there was no point in trying to play dumb.
"If you're apologizing, I'll accept. Though...."
"I-I know.... I know an apology isn't enough for something like this.... What should I do?? What can I do??"
"......"
For a split second, I almost told her to finish what she'd so uncomfortably left half-done.
But I barely held it in and put on an act of being a decent human being instead.
"Just drink in moderation from now on."
"Huh...?"
"It's bad for your health."
"Woojin..... thank you, really.... I keep owing you more and more....."
"May I go change now?"
"Yes..."
Thankfully, it didn't look like things would get too awkward between us.
The problem wasn't my relationship with Han Jihee, though.
It was the state of this cafe.
The cafe was called Andante.
Han Jihee had named it after the musical tempo, with the idea of encouraging people to slow down and rest for a while amid their busy lives. The interior matched — clean, cozy, and warm.
Apparently, though, people had no intention of slowing down for anything.
Which was why Hayeon and I were the only ones resting at a leisurely pace.
"No customers again today...."
"Nope."
It was my third day on the job.
The lack of customers was almost boring.
And today was supposed to be the weekend, no less.
Three four-person tables and six two-person tables. A cafe that could seat twenty-four in total, pulling in an average of three customers an hour.
Five or so if you counted takeout.
And most of those ordered the cheapest thing on the menu — an Americano.
Was this place actually doing okay?
"What would you two like to drink? I'll make you something delicious~"
"I'm fine, thank you, ma'am...."
"Doesn't really feel like the time for drinks, does it?"
"S-still, you have to eat to keep your strength up!"
"......"
When I stared at her with narrowed eyes, Han Jihee, who had been forcing her energy up, let her head droop all the way down.
This couldn't go on.
At this rate, I might end up working for free and never even collect my rent.
"Hayeon."
"Y-yes??"
"Boss."
"Mm..?"
"Give me a hand here for a minute."
"......"
"......"
We pushed two of the two-person tables right up against the display window, angling the chairs so they'd face outward at a slight tilt, and then rearranged the spacing of all the other tables to match.
That took care of the first step.
"Now close the door for a bit."
"Close it..? But what if customers come...!"
"You get five an hour at best, and they all order Americanos, so that's 17,500 won. If it bothers you that much, I'll order that much myself. Fair?"
"Still... some of my regulars might stop by......"
"Don't worry. They'll come back anyway."
The regulars weren't coming for the coffee in the first place.
They were coming to see Han Jihee.
And I intended to take that one and only advantage this cafe had and crank it up to maximum.
For that, what we needed right now was a shopping trip.
"This one's nice. It's close to the color you usually wear."
"Well, yes, but.... why are we buying clothes..?"
"Because we're running a business."
"Huh..?"
"That's the boss taken care of. Hayeon, you're next."
"M-me??"
"Help out too. Or no paycheck for you."
"Ah......"
"You wouldn't really!"
"I would."
"I think Oppa means it, Auntie."
"......"
With the shopping done, we returned to the cafe.
I'd set fresh flowers in glass vases on every table, and the two of them had changed into the outfits I'd picked out.
One thing, though.
"Hmm...."
Han Jihee was in the beige-toned dress she usually favored.
Hayeon, having taken off her glasses, wore a flowy dress with a thin cardigan over it.
It was already plenty good, but somehow it felt like it lacked impact.
"Does it look strange...?"
"I-I'll go change again...."
"No. No need."
"Yes??"
"You look gorgeous right now."
"R-really..?"
"Yeah. And you look beautiful too, Boss. But something still feels like it's missing."
Standing before the two blushing women, I stroked my chin and pondered.
As my deliberation stretched on—
Sssshk—
Han Jihee slid the shoulder strap of her dress down her arm.
An ordinary dress became a daring off-the-shoulder number, and my problem was neatly solved.
"Wow..... ah! Sorry.... you just look so pretty..."
"P-pretty.... me? A middle-aged woman like me.... But how is it now..? Does it still feel like something's missing..?"
"No. Not at all. You're perfect."
"Whew... thank goodness...."
"Then would you both take a seat by the window? Hayeon, you too."
"Okay."
"....Yes, sir...."
Now for the final inspection.
Time to see with my own eyes whether the cards I'd prepared would land with the public.
"As expected."
Stepping outside and looking in at Han Jihee through the display window, I gave her a thumbs-up.
No man alive could walk past that sight without stopping.
"Boss, you're absolutely stunning! Try pretending to sip your coffee!"
The moment Han Jihee lifted her coffee cup with a soft, glowing smile—
Hayeon began undoing the buttons of the cardigan buttoned all the way up to her throat.
And then.
"Whoa....."
I gasped in admiration yet again.
Because Hayeon had let the loosened cardigan slide off her back, boldly revealing the figure beneath.
A chest like that on a frame like that.
This duo was truly unbeatable.
Any man who saw this and still didn't come inside wasn't a man at all.
There was one thing I'd overlooked, though.
Namely, that seating the two of them like that meant I would be the one run off my feet.
"Two iced Americanos, coming out!!"
"I'd like to order, please."
"One moment! This gentleman was here first. What can I get you?"
"Um.... I'll have... an iced...."
"Excuse me, where are the straws?"
"Straws are over there..! Sorry, what did you say??"
"Ah, hold on. What should I get?"
"Can't I just order first?!"
"Please, there's a line—"
"Put this one in a to-go cup."
"Of course, just one moment, and...."
"There's no straw in mine?"
"Not over there, the other side! Hey, you, guy by the window! This is NOT a hunting pocha! Get back to your seat!"
And they expect me to do this for free?
Even 30,000 won an hour wouldn't be enough!!
My marketing strategy was a runaway hit.
Men flooded in like mad over the weekend, and the photos they posted on social media had the place overflowing even on a weekday.
Nearly all of them were men who'd come to see Han Jihee and Lee Hayeon.
Though the occasional oddball showed up too.
"Hello. I'm with KZ Entertain—"
"O-one, one d-drink m-minimum is... it's our, our store policy.... p-please order first...."
"Oh! Twenty iced Americanos, then. To go. Now, may I introduce myself again?"
"Of course~ here's my business card."
"Yes??"
I snatched the extended business card out of his hand and wedged myself in front of Hayeon.
"Go make the coffee."
"Yes!!"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm her brother, see. You can talk to me instead."
"Ah...."
"And where did you say you were from?"
Honestly, I thought it was a good opportunity.
With her looks, Hayeon could succeed as an idol, an actress, anything she set her mind to.
Sure, twenty was late for a debut as an idol, but as an actress? Who knew.
As long as she could overcome that trauma of hers — the fear of men.
"Are you really not interested?"
"No...."
"Is it because men make you uncomfortable?"
"N-no, it's not that.... I'm just not interested, regardless of that.... I do like watching them, though....."
"I see..."
After closing, I'd asked her casually, but she said she had no interest at all.
Well, fair enough — being pretty doesn't automatically make you a celebrity.
"Ah....!"
"What?"
"A p-package came this afternoon, and I completely forgot about it...."
"A package? Where is it?"
"R-right here..!"
Hayeon pulled a cardboard box out from under the counter and set it on top.
Just then, Han Jihee — who had gone to change her clothes — came back out as well.
"Boss, a package came."
"It arrived this afternoon, and I forgot all about it... I'm so sorry...."
"Oh, don't worry about it~ I bet that's the coffee beans."
"Coffee beans??"
"Yeah. We've been so slow that I was thinking about switching to a new bean."
"Oh... then where should I put this?"
"Open it up. We'll all taste it together, and if it's good, we'll switch over."
"Okay."
"I-I'll go get a knife..!"
"Just tear it open."
I pressed down on the box to pop the tape loose and pulled it apart in one motion.
I rolled up the torn strip of tape, and the instant the box opened—
"......"
"......"
Hayeon and I froze solid on the spot.
Because inside was not coffee beans, but something very much not.
"How does it smell? Think it'll taste good??"
"I-I-I-I don't know anything about it!!!"
"Hayeon! What's wrong? Did a bug crawl out of there or something??"
It wasn't a bug.
Though it was exactly as repulsive as one, given that it made Hayeon flee the scene.
"Haha... no, it's not that....."
"Then what is it?"
Han Jihee had rushed over, hurrying the steps she'd been mid-way through, and peeked into the box I casually nudged toward her.
Thud!
She collapsed straight to the floor.
Right in front of the tumbling box — and the enormous dildo that rolled out of it.
"N-no, it's not what it looks like, Woojin-ssi!!"
"......"
She looked up at me, lips trembling, shouting as though protesting her innocence.
And the moment she darted out a hand to grab the thing and stuff it back inside the box—
Vrrrm! Vrrrm!
Wiggle— wiggle—
"Kyaaa!!!"
With a shriek, the dildo launched itself into the air, hit the floor, and started writhing with tremendous vigor.
Driven to despair by the sight, Han Jihee slowly lifted her head again, her face flooded crimson with shame.
"It's a m-misunderstanding... I really didn't buy it....."
"......"
So you bought the vibrating model.
Guess you like yours full of life, huh.