Tea Time Terror and Dungeon Secrets
The dungeon known as the Dragon's Mouth had appeared in the mountains: Drakanscale. A city positioned at the gateway to the grand road cutting through the central Dragon Continent. It was a vital trade hub with the Chelas Kingdom to the northeast of the Empire, a city of opportunity where merchants flocked, eager to seize fortunes and success via the Chelas route.
At the highest point in that Drakanscale, inside the office of a mansion gleaming magnificently under the morning sun, a slender woman with ashen hair was savoring a tea time worth its weight in gold.
"Phew—delicious. It really puts my mind at ease~"
The young lord of the Tremorn Count family, Susan Tremorn. She smiled broadly, deeply satisfied by the subtle aroma and flavor of the tea leaves teasing her nose.
"I've got to hand it to the elves' tea-making skills. To think they can drink something like this like water—truly a blessed race."
A lover of luxury shopping, tea times, and horse racing, she had splurged heavily on these leaves this time. They weren't meant for commercial distribution by merchant caravans. Among the already exorbitantly priced elf teas on the market, these were the ultra-exclusive ones they kept for themselves in small batches, never released to the public.
The moment her tongue touched it, a rich flavor burst forth. It didn't burn at all while held in the mouth, but as it slid down her throat, a refreshing coolness followed. Then, at some point, a chill spread through her entire body, with an outstanding effect at clearing her head. A perfect choice for her current predicament, where her skull felt like it might split open after more than two days of agony.
—Knock, knock.
"...Young miss."
But such peaceful moments were fleeting. The head butler, who would never disturb her tea time under normal circumstances, was knocking on the door and calling for her.
"What is it? Don't you know this is my morning tea time? Of all times, you should know not to interrupt me during this—"
Ignoring Susan's words entirely, the butler opened the door and entered. And the words that followed were more than enough to snap her mind into crystal clarity.
"Lady Parates has arrived."
"Pfft!"
Tea sprayed from Susan's mouth. A sight that would make anyone who knew the price of those leaves lament. But right now, that wasn't what mattered to Susan.
"W-what do you mean, she just shows up out of nowhere without a word?!"
Faster than she could wipe the sprayed tea, a familiar figure popped out from beside the butler. For a fleeting moment, she harbored a slim hope that it might be the eldest Parates daughter she'd rarely seen, rather than the familiar one—but no, of course not.
"Hey, Susan. I'm here."
Aren Parates had barged in wearing a commoner's outfit: an indigo tunic, leather pants, and worn boots. Her hair was casually tied back, her signature narrow slit eyes crinkled wide in a beaming grin as she waved cheerfully.
"Kya啊啊啊啊啊!!"
Susan recoiled like she'd seen a ghost, screaming.
"A-Aren! What brings you here without any prior notice...?"
To Susan, one of the people in the world she was most terrified of running into unprepared. With movements utterly lacking the dignity expected of a noble lady from a prestigious house, Aren approached. She grabbed a chair from against the office wall, plopped it in front of the desk, and sat down.
"Do we really need formal notices between us?"
"You're off leisurely recuperating at that orphanage you opened in your village, but I'm busy with work and not always at my post?!"
"Then I'd just be disappointed, disappointed, disappointed, and head home."
"Don't emphasize it three times like that!"
Susan hurriedly wiped up the spilled tea. Without asking why it had spilled, Aren just muttered that her tea time was still going strong.
"—Lady Aren. This is tea brewed from leaves airlifted from the Isilia Kingdom. Please, have some."
"Whoa, it's been ages since I last had elf kingdom tea."
Before Susan could signal him, the elderly butler who'd announced Aren's arrival poured her a cup with practiced ease and set it before her.
"I don't think I saw you last time I was here. Keeping healthy in your old age?"
"Heh heh, my back's been bothering me lately. Fortunately, thanks to Lady Susan's consideration, I avoid tasks that strain it."
"Wow, she knows how to show consideration. Susan's really grown up~"
"Haha..."
Words that would feel utterly rude from anyone else, but Susan just smiled awkwardly. She had no choice.
It had been over ten years ago, back in her childhood. At that time, Susan was the epitome of what people called a "villainess lady"—arrogant to a fault. Back when she saw the world divided into valuables and trash, things to claim and things to discard. She had meticulously selected ladies from baronet families and above, around her age, who might prove useful in the future, and hosted a grand tea party for them.
An invitation from the eldest daughter of the Empire's prestigious Tremorn Count family naturally drew a line of haughty young ladies from top houses.
The gathering of typical noble ladies seemed poised to proceed elegantly to its conclusion—until.
- "Kyaa!!! S-sorry, Lady Susan!"
- "......Hah."
One maid serving fruit cake had spilled it all over Susan, shattering the atmosphere. The sticky sensation of mashed cake dripping down her face pushed Susan's rage to its peak. To leave such an unforgettable stain in front of all these ladies' eyes—in this perfect spotlight—she couldn't tolerate it.
The maid trembled as if facing her final moments. Susan issued her verdict: Strip naked right now. Kneel on the floor banging your head until the tea party ends, and you'd be forgiven.
A punishment so vicious that the current Susan would shudder at the thought. But back then, she was more than capable of it.
- "Sob, hick, s-sorry......"
- "Pfft, she's actually doing it. Lowly things can only pay with their bodies, right?"
- "To commit such an outrage against Lady Susan in a place like this—she deserves death. How merciful."
- "Banging your head on the floor nonstop must hurt. Should we put some pastries in a bowl down there for her?"
- "Hohohoho!!!"
As the maid slowly untied her apron, sniffling in humiliation, the ladies watching Susan's cue competed to mock and jeer at her. A quiet few held back, but they were the minority.
- "Ha."
A cold scoff cut through.
- "The personality level of Imperial ladies."
The price of Susan's choice was brutal. Immediately after.
For the first time in her life, Susan experienced the rare thrill of being hurled from the mansion's fourth floor downward.
By the Parates family's eldest daughter, the girl with those striking slit eyes. Aren at age 14.
'Uwa啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!'
Just recalling the memory of dangling by her ankle, staring down, made Susan's body shudder even now. From that day on, Susan became a different person. The arrogant villainess Susan had died, reborn with a new soul.
Right before her skull would have smashed into the garden stone from the fourth-floor drop. Faster still, the one who'd thrown her had kicked off the air itself, swooping down to save her. Until then, her life had flashed before her eyes as she thought, 'I'm dead.'
That incident forged their bond into friendship. Not that she'd wanted to be friends from the start—it just happened after getting tangled in a few major events afterward. That's why Susan could say it confidently.
Aren was a madwoman. An utterly unhinged lunatic, even over ten years ago. And now, after all the life-and-death trials she'd endured...
"Hey, Susan. What're you thinking about to make your face rot like that?"
"Hiiik! Save me! I did it all wrong!!"
As Aren leisurely set down her teacup and leaned in, Susan toppled backward off her chair with a beastly shriek.
"...She's especially bad today. Head butler, has she been having a rough time lately?"
Aren turned to the butler. He chuckled and refilled her cup.
"She's had a lot of bad news lately. Enough that I've specially ordered headache remedies for her."
"Aigoo, no wonder... the tea she's drinking suits that. Must be tough..."
Aren rose, carefully supporting her. She righted the chair, sat her down, then cradled her in her arms, patting her crown with a palm.
This embrace-and-pat service was reserved for a select few close ones. Truly special.
"—Uuuu, I don't wanna die...."
"Her mental state's turned to soft glutinous rice cake. There, there. Calm down a bit and let's talk."
Only after much soothing did Susan regain her senses.
"—Ahem!"
About ten minutes of being held, and Susan cleared her throat, slipping out of my embrace. My chest twins had proven their worth once more. Hug 'em tight like this, and nobody hates it. Especially Susan—being so skinny, she had that same satisfying hug feel as my kids.
"S-so, what brings you here?"
Having smoothed her disheveled hair and calmed her startled chest, Susan returned to a perfectly normal state and asked.
"Do I really have to spell it out?"
"???"
She turned a troubled gaze toward the past at my words.
"That was a joke. You're recruiting a massive subjugation force for that dungeon deep in the mountains, right?"
Her eyes widened slightly at the dungeon mention.
"Y-yeah?"
"What's with the kids' level?"
"Huh?"
I gave her a quick rundown of yesterday's events.
"On their way here to join the subjugation force, a band of mercenaries stopped by the village and raided our orphanage."
"Gasp."
"They sniffed out Gia as a demon and nearly kidnapped her... even broke into the annex and almost looted our dishes..."
"Aaaah..."
She closed her eyes, shaking her head with a sigh, then slyly peeked them open again.
"So, what happened?"
Instead of words, I held up six fingers, then mimed slicing my throat with my hand.
"...Yeah, figures. Hah, to think there are such idiots..."
"I was shocked too. They booked an inn room and pulled it off the very next day."
"...No chance of backers, then. Unless those backers are total morons too."
As she finished, Susan started gauging my mood.
"I'm not here asking you to do anything about that, so don't look so wary."
"—Phew."
"But don't get too relaxed either."
"—Hah."
Susan alternated relieved and anxious sighs, then glanced at me slyly.
"Then why are you here? If it's to tease me, mission accomplished."
"Got it. Small talk ends here."
I leaned back even more comfortably, crossing my legs.
"You're recruiting around two hundred for the subjugation force, even sending a bunch from your family knights? How big is this dungeon to send that many for the first assault party?"
Susan rolled her eyes awkwardly, then signaled the head butler. He bowed politely to me and withdrew. Guess she wanted us alone.
"...I'll tell you straight. But this is top secret. I'm only spilling because I know from experience your lips are sealed."
I nodded, propping my chin.
Susan let out who-knows-how-many sighs before her, spilling the truth that had been pounding her skull for days.
"A few days ago, I sent a scouting party. More like a subjugation squad in name only."
"Quick action."
"It had appeared where a dungeon once popped up before. That one was C+ difficulty, something our family knights could handle with ease."
Susan lifted her teacup.
"Ten knights. Four mid-tier, six low-tier—I figured that was overkill..."
Clink, clink.
Her hand trembled enough to spill a bit of tea.
"All but one wiped out. The surviving low-tier knight barely dragged his broken body back to report."
His assessment, by his own logic:
"Estimated dungeon difficulty: At least A+ rank. Maybe even higher."
She looked up at me with the world's most depressed expression.
"Aigoo, my head..."
I pressed my forehead, sighing too. Headaches aren't contagious, but hearing that made my skull feel like it was splitting. Looked like heading back early today was a bust.