The Weight of Survival
Look at the state of this country. I gripped the wall of the conference room with one hand, trying to steady my breathing. The reason we had gathered was simple: Seoul was falling. The country was in absolute shambles, and everything we had built up until now could be wiped away in an instant. If things continued like this, we would inevitably be dragged down with it.
I rested my chin on my hand and scanned the room. The representatives of each survivor community were filing in one by one.
Park Yeongsik – Representative of the construction workers.
Bae Sunok – Representative of the apartment residents.
Kim Cheoryeong – Representative of the refugees and head of the security force.
Son Gangjo – Representative of the church congregation.
Jang Yeeun and I – Representatives of the Mapo-gu refugees and the overall leaders of Gongdeok Station.
And finally, Jeong Ihyun, who had just defected.
I looked at Jeong Ihyun with a hint of guilt. He had been dragged straight into a meeting the moment he escaped, but we simply didn't have the time. Once everyone, including him, was settled, I opened my mouth.
"...The state of the country is a disaster. If we aren't careful, we might end up having to fight the regular army."
The moment the words left my lips, the conference room fell into a heavy silence. Bae Sunok dropped the ballpoint pen she was holding with a sharp *clack*. Son Gangjo gripped his cross, his face hardening, while Park Yeongsik repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fists. Kim Cheoryeong crossed his legs and let out a deep sigh. As for Jeong Ihyun... he didn't even change his expression, as if he had already anticipated this.
I took a deep breath. "So, we need to prepare."
Jang Yeeun nodded quietly. "By any means necessary."
I leaned my hands on the table and spoke slowly. "This is a tentative conclusion until my brother returns from Chungjeongno, but I believe we need to unify our opinions to prevent infighting among ourselves."
Amidst the mounting tension, Park Yeongsik was the first to speak, rubbing his chin. "The people from Mapo Station help with the construction work and work alongside us, so we don't have any issues with them. But..." His gaze shifted toward Bae Sunok, the representative of the apartment residents. "The problem is that the side holding the most supplies doesn't seem to like it very much."
Bae Sunok closed her notebook with a cold look. "For our residents, survival is the priority, no matter the choice." *Thud.* She placed the pen she had just picked up back on the floor. "How long do you think our current supplies will last at this rate? A month? No, at most, they'll be gone in fifteen days. Right now, the survivors are living peacefully behind the barricades, but what happens when the rations start to shrink?"
She stared straight at me. "Then that 'dissatisfaction' will turn into a 'riot.' Do you have any idea how hard I had to work to persuade our residents to share the supplies they painstakingly brought with them?"
"...So what are you suggesting?"
Bae Sunok sighed deeply and interlaced her fingers. "People can't even see the sun right now, and they're constantly on edge because of the infected. They don't have any room to breathe, and being trapped in this confined space while under a rationing system... they're being pushed to their mental limits." Her voice was calm, but it was strangely sharp. "Do you know what happens when people are trapped like this for too long?"
She looked around, meeting everyone's eyes one by one. "They go insane."
The conference room went quiet for a moment. Pastor Son Gangjo nodded slowly. "That is true. Recently, the number of people requesting counseling at the church has increased significantly. Anxiety, nervousness, and... many people are showing aggressive attitudes. Fear, when it piles up, turns into anger."
"Exactly. So, it's only a matter of time before dissatisfaction erupts from within. The security force? That's fine. But what happens when people start saying, 'Why are we doing all the work when we aren't even fighting alongside the soldiers?' At that point, the security force or whatever else won't matter."
"Then what do you want us to do?" Kim Cheoryeong asked, arms crossed with a face etched in clear fatigue. "Are you suggesting we disband the security force? That would just turn this place into a lawless zone. The rationing system? We can't abolish that either. Or are you saying we should double the supplies? You just said we'd run out in fifteen days anyway."
"That's why we need to give the people something else."
"Something else?" Park Yeongsik frowned.
"Hope."
Silence hung in the air. "Right now, before they are killed by the infected, people are on the verge of collapsing from within. Our job is to stop them from breaking down. Fighting the infected and surviving isn't the only solution."
"...That's a persuasive argument, but," Park Yeongsik scratched his head. "How are you supposed to give them this 'hope'?"
Bae Sunok looked at me and said, "That's for the 'General Representative' to figure out."
I swallowed the curse that threatened to spill out and started racking my brain. *Damn it, what exactly am I supposed to do?*
"...For starters, let's make them 'work' so they can focus on the goals right in front of them."
The others fell into thought, chewing over my words. "What we need to do now isn't just survive. It's crucial that we at least quell internal unrest and ensure people focus more on our internal problems than on the infected."
Park Yeongsik crossed his arms and nodded. "That's true. If people are anxious, they're bound to start doing useless things."
I sighed and moved on to the next topic. "And... I think our priority now is to discuss whether we should cooperate with the 'Civilian Government' or the 'Military Junta'."
At those words, everyone's gaze turned toward Jeong Ihyun. Jang Yeeun gave a slight nod, and Jeong Ihyun cleared his throat and coughed. "Ahem... well, I wasn't at City Hall for that long, but..." He scanned the room before continuing. "The people belonging to the military government didn't seem very friendly toward civilians. Orders to 'prioritize the survival of the soldiers above all else' were issued several times."
"...Does that mean?" Bae Sunok narrowed her eyes.
"To put it simply, the soldiers intend to survive among themselves."
At that moment, a heavy silence settled over the room. Pastor Son Gangjo shook his head, clutching his cross tightly. "That means, in the end, civilians like us are not the ones being protected."
"Then, there's no choice left, is there? Doesn't that mean the military government is highly likely to abandon us from the start?" Kim Cheoryeong muttered with a deep sigh. "...This is why I can't trust soldiers. Even in a situation like this, they were only thinking about how to save themselves."
Gradually, people's opinions began to converge. After a brief silence, Bae Sunok began writing something in her notebook. "If we side with the military government, eventually, someone among our people will be sacrificed. Because we are just 'mere refugees'."
"Then," Jang Yeeun said, looking at me, "we have no choice but to choose the Civilian Government."
"...I suppose so."
In the end, it was decided that Gongdeok Station would cooperate with the Civilian Government. There were some minor discussions afterward, but they were soon settled, and people began to rise from their seats one by one.
"You worked hard today," Park Yeongsik said, patting my shoulder as he walked by.
"Representative, don't push yourself too hard," Kim Cheoryeong said with a grin, leaving the conference room with his security team.
Pastor Son Gangjo also nodded with a warm look. The room gradually emptied, leaving only me, Jang Yeeun, and Jeong Ihyun. However, since I still had to talk to Jeong Ihyun, it wasn't over yet.
That was when the door opened again. Bae Sunok walked back in and approached me quietly. "Here." She tore a page from her notebook and handed it to me. I took it without thinking. Just as I was about to look at it, she said in a low voice, "...Read it alone later."
And then, as if nothing had happened, she turned her back and left the room. *Why would Bae Sunok give this to me?*
Jang Yeeun looked at me with curious eyes. "What is it?"
"...She told me to read it alone, so can I read it first and tell you later?"
Jang Yeeun nodded lightly and didn't ask any further. I sighed, tucked the paper into my pocket, and looked at Jeong Ihyun. "...For now, I'd like your platoon to join the Mapo Station refugee group and take charge of patrolling the Line 5 side. That level of cooperation is fine, right?"
Jeong Ihyun nodded without hesitation. "I never intended to just eat and do nothing. Since we asked you to save us, we should at least provide some compensation."
I smiled lightly, satisfied with his answer. "Good. Then join the security force and help with the patrols."
As the conversation settled and the atmosphere in the conference room began to calm down—a commotion was heard from outside.
...What's going on?
Just as the noise seemed to grow, the door swung wide open. And a familiar face walked in, beaming.
"Big brother is home!"
It was Lee Junhyeok. His face was stained with dust and blood, but at least he was safe. That was what mattered. I was about to speak, but then I remembered Jeong Ihyun standing next to me. *Oh, right.* Major Lee Junhyeok, who was standing in front of me, was someone who absolutely needed to hear this story.
I turned slowly toward Jeong Ihyun. Jeong Ihyun looked at Lee Junhyeok, let out a deep, deep sigh, and—
"...Do I have to explain this all over again?"