The Voice of the Heart (10)
Yoon Seo-a laid me down on the bed. Her hands moved with the care of someone handling a fragile piece of craftsmanship, and soon found their way to the sash of my bathrobe.
The sash, tied simply in a butterfly knot, came undone with nothing more than a tug — no resistance at all.
The robe that had been holding itself closed by that sash alone fell open, exposing the bare skin beneath.
Yoon Seo-a's fingers traced upward from below my navel to my chest, scraping lightly across my skin with a soft, lingering drag.
The sensation was both ticklish and shuddering, and a moan escaped my lips like air leaking from a punctured lung.
And yet, even so, I couldn't move a single finger.
All I could do was roll my eyes and let out little hi, hi sounds, following the path of Yoon Seo-a's hands as they explored my body.
If only I could speak — but even the muscles of my tongue seemed completely limp; forming clear words was nearly impossible.
Making sounds wasn't hard, but what could I possibly say with nothing but babbling huuh, uuh noises?
While I was thinking that, the last of my defenses — the bathrobe — had already been stripped away entirely by Yoon Seo-a's hands.
I was left completely naked, laid bare like a carefully prepared fish. The fact of it was terrifying.
It was similar to being in the bathroom, and yet not the same. At least then, if I'd thought Yoon Seo-a was about to do something, I could have run. Now I was like a death-row inmate waiting for the end, able to do nothing but stretch out my neck and wait.
"Uh, huuh…!"
Her fingertips brushed down the side of my neck in a light, sweeping caress, and goosebumps prickled across my skin. A chill ran down my spine, and my vision shook as though an earthquake had struck.
The helplessness of a body that would not obey, combined with sensations arriving from places I could not see — that alone was more than enough to summon terror and revulsion.
She had laid me face-up, staring at the ceiling, so I couldn't see what Yoon Seo-a was doing below my nose. All I could do was hitch and gasp in response to the occasional light touch that skimmed across my body.
If only I could see what she was doing to me, this fear might have eased a little — but as if she had planned it this way from the start, she continued to explore me from outside my field of vision.
She stroked my thoroughly limp arms. She laced her fingers through hands that could no longer close. She traced a finger up my groin, brushing so close to that secret place that she almost — but not quite — touched it.
To every one of those touches I could only spit out broken little sounds — huh, hyaah, hii. And each time, I heard Yoon Seo-a's soft laugh: fufu.
That laughter made my situation feel all the more wretched.
I stepped in with some half-baked sense of justice to help a bullied kid, and this is what I get — toyed with like this.
Yu Ha-eun, is this what you wanted? To take the bullying in someone else's place and satisfy that pathetic little craving of yours?
If that's the case, then you should have taken all the suffering too. Why am I the only one who has to go through this?
But no matter how many times I howled those words inside my head, I knew better than anyone that the original Yu Ha-eun's voice would never answer.
If an answer had been coming, it would have come a long, long time ago.
"Ah!"
A hand gently cupping my breast cut the thought short. My waist twitched, and I felt cold sweat slide down the back of my neck.
The hand that held my chest worked it like soft clay, and I let out matching little moans in time with the motion.
I didn't need to think about it — my body was clearly more sensitive than usual.
My chest had always been a little sensitive, but not so much that a mere touch would draw moans out of me.
Was it the situation? Or had there been something more than a muscle relaxant in that teacup?
Whatever the reason, only one thing mattered: my body was far more sensitive than normal.
"Ah, aah, uhh…."
I could hardly believe these sounds were really coming from my own mouth. I had never known I could make a voice this sweet and melting.
Looking back, I had always felt so guilty about touching myself in Yu Ha-eun's body that I'd done it in secret under the covers, holding my breath — of course I wouldn't have known a voice like this existed.
But I didn't want to find out like this. If I was going to learn it at all, it should have been later, with someone I actually liked — huh, ah…!
My vision flickered. A crackling, static-like sensation I couldn't put into words ran wild through my head.
It was a climax different from the first one I had ever felt in this body. That one had been quieter, a single sharp peak; this one was fierce and long, rolling on and on.
Yes. The incomplete release from before had finally found its proper shape.
"Ah, ah…."
When my sight returned, it was wavering with moisture. Was I crying? I probably was. My body had gone completely limp under the wave of exhaustion, and from the edge of my vision a face suddenly leaned in close.
"So you have masturbated before. Even with the drug, reaching climax this quickly rather gives it away."
"Uh, uh…."
"I know. Your tongue is too relaxed to speak, isn't it? I'm not saying any of this because I expect an answer from you, Ha-eun. It's just that the silence seems to be making you so anxious. So I'm filling it for you, like this."
"Hhk!"
Pain and pleasure rose together from my chest, and a moan burst out of me on its own. Yoon Seo-a laughed softly at the sight of me and went on.
"Just now I flicked your nipple with my finger. Looking at how stiffly it stood up — as if that little chest of yours actually counts as one — you're rather adorable, Ha-eun."
"Huh, huuh…."
"Ah, you must be curious, right? Why I'm doing this to you?"
She had spoken the very question I had wanted to ask a hundred times, and even in the middle of all this, a flicker of gratitude rose in me.
Enough, at least, that I might dock one slap from the total once this was all over.
Whether she read that intention in my eyes or not, Yoon Seo-a smiled as she spoke.
"Don't look at me like you want to hit me. The more you look at me that way, the more I want to torment you. Now then… where should I begin…."
She thought for a moment, still fondling my chest, then made a small sound of realization and continued.
"Mm. Yes. Shall we go back to the entrance ceremony?"
The entrance ceremony? Even with her hands on my chest, I couldn't help but feel puzzled.
After all, the first time I had properly crossed paths with Yoon Seo-a was after the ceremony, when everyone gathered in the classroom. That had been our first meeting.
But as if she had read the thought, Yoon Seo-a smiled and said,
"Strictly speaking, the first time we met wasn't in the classroom. It was at the entrance ceremony. More precisely — I was watching you, one-sidedly."
Watching me? Had she been sitting somewhere near me?
"Right behind you. You were sitting in front with your friend Hong Su-ryeon, and I was sitting behind you."
Yoon Seo-a spoke slowly, as though sifting through the memory.
"At first I only thought you were a cute young lady. Small, and with a face so babyish no one would believe you were a classmate. So I thought, if I ran into you again later, I'd keep you around as decoration."
You're looking at a person as decoration? I stared at her with open disgust, but Yoon Seo-a paid it no mind and went on.
"But when I met you again in Class 1-D after the ceremony, I thought — this is fate."
A deep smile curved her lips at the recollection.
I, on the other hand, was wearing the eyes of someone who would absolutely have been making a rotten face if only the muscles still worked.
Fate? Since when were we the kind of relationship that used romantic words like that?
"Even so, up to that point, the interest I had in you only went that far. A doll that would be fun to play with. That was all."
"But then you appeared again somewhere I never expected. The moment I was trying to take control of the class using Shin So-hye."
"In that moment, I felt an impulse. Do you know what it was?"
Before I could react in any way, Yoon Seo-a leaned in very close and whispered,
"I wondered — just how long can this young lady named Yu Ha-eun keep up that attitude of hers?"
"I'll admit it's an arrogant, sadistic thought. But think about it. The sun is melting the ice, and some little ant stands in front of it trying to block the light so the ice won't melt."
"Who wouldn't go and fetch a magnifying glass to look at that ant?"
"So I picked up the magnifying glass to watch how the ant would react. I was curious what it would do."
Yoon Seo-a laughed as though she were thoroughly enjoying herself and continued.
"At first I thought it would give up and submit right away, or else run back to the burrow it came from. An ant that had lived its whole life in the comfort of the earth couldn't possibly endure having its body scorched and its limbs burned."
"But astonishingly, the ant held firm even under the sunlight that was burning it. Of course it couldn't take all the pain — it cried and screamed — but it still stood there, blocking the light."
"Watching that ant for a long, long time, a certain feeling came over me."
Her hand rose and stroked my face. Both her palm and my skin were smooth, so the touch only glided softly — and yet somehow that caress felt terribly sticky.
At a distance where our breath crossed, Yoon Seo-a said,
"I want that girl."
"I want everything about her to be mine. So that those eyes never look at anyone else but me. So that that sense of justice blooms only for me."
"But the ant — no, Ha-eun — didn't do that. You rejected my offer and chose to stand against me."
Even as she spoke of being rejected, Yoon Seo-a smiled as though she were delighted.
"And yet, in that moment, I was happy. If you had simply accepted my proposal, I would have been pleased at first — but I would certainly have grown bored of you later. That's the kind of person I am."
"When you hit me at the pool, I was happy too. Because I thought I could use that as a pretext to make you mine."
"This feeling of mine can surely be called love."
Love. At that word, I twisted my face. Or I would have, if I could.
This isn't love. It's nothing of the sort. It's just obsession bordering on madness — a base, filthy desire.
As if she had read the thought in my eyes, Yoon Seo-a curved her eyes prettily and said,
"You're right. It's a feeling a young lady shouldn't have. Falling for another woman, and even drugging her to take possession of her."
"But I told you before, didn't I, Ha-eun?"
"I'm the kind of person who can't rest easy until I have what I want."
"Even if I have to force it."
"Hhk…!"
A wet, sticky sensation — a finger touching the most private place of all.
Still slick from the climax I had already reached, she tapped lightly at the entrance with a rhythmic little tuk-tuk, as though savoring the wetness, and my body trembled on its own.
As I let out a shaking moan, Yoon Seo-a left a small kiss on my cheek and whispered,
"Don't tense up. The drug will keep it from hurting too much."
"Ah, ah…!"
It pushed inside. Parting the soft flesh, ignoring every bit of resistance that tried to push it out, it kept pressing deeper and deeper.
Tears spilled at the foreign sensation I had never felt in my life, and a scream like a baby's babble tore from my mouth — but Yoon Seo-a licked away the falling tears and kissed me.
Whatever was digging into me stopped advancing at some point, as though it had hit a wall. But I knew.
It wasn't that it truly couldn't go further. It was holding back at the end on purpose — to savor my reactions.
"Congratulations, Ha-eun. You're a proper young lady now."
With Yoon Seo-a's laughing words, the wall broke.
It hurt so much that all I could do was keep crying.