57. Ruins (1)
Ruins (1)
57. Ruins (1)
I'd always dismissed the phrase 'mountain men of the Green Forest' as utter bullshit, but the men before me seemed like masters of camping. In the time it took me to visit the village, they'd raised three huts in the middle of the ruins. A proper kitchen was still impossible, so they huddled around a campfire eating blanched wild greens gathered nearby. I found myself genuinely impressed that Yeongsan Sect might be just as skilled at survival.
"You're back, Junior Brother?"
Lee Eun-ha moved diligently, holding out chamnamul and fernbrake.
"The White Tiger Fortress people already put up three huts. They may look like that on the outside, but they even built sleeping platforms inside. The scent of the wood is pleasant, and it's surprisingly cozy."
"But why did they build three?"
"One is for the female disciples, one is yours, Disciple, and the last is for White Tiger Fortress."
Such diligence. With camping knowledge and the cheat code of martial arts, their speed was tremendous—enough to rival the twenty-first century.
"Huh? Unni? You're not sleeping with us?"
Cho-ryeong, who'd been listening, suddenly looked at Ban Ho-jeong and asked.
"It's fine, Miss Cho. Those men won't lay a hand on me, so don't worry."
"Huh? They can't lay a hand on you? Why not?"
Ban Ho-jeong meant that the men were impotent, a eunuch, or interested in men, so nothing would happen even if she shared their quarters. Cho-ryeong's innocent question still flustered her.
"Junior Sister, you want to stay with us too, do you not? The Vice-Fortress Leader feels the same about the people of White Tiger Fortress."
Lee Eun-ha spoke gently.
"Then why doesn't Junior Brother use the same quarters as us? If we're the same sect, is it okay for men and women to sleep together?"
This time, Lee Eun-ha was struck speechless.
"That is because ours is a Taoist sect." Lee Eun-ha fell speechless, and Master answered in her place. "They are not Taoists. Every sect has its own rules, so you mustn't interfere, Ryeong."
At last, at the Master's words, Cho-ryeong nodded.
"Our sect has burned to ashes, but I still have two pieces of good news, Junior Brother. First, the liquor and kimchi jars we buried survived. We buried them deep in the ground in the Joseon fashion, so the fire could not reach them. Second, the hot spring is safe. That should be obvious, but a spring welling from the ground doesn't disappear just because someone set a fire."
Lee Eun-ha spoke brightly. This truly was good news. That damned liquor. After everything I'd endured—and after buying the jars myself—how could I have vented my anger if it had disappeared when the bastard responsible was already dead?
"We have nothing to offer as hospitality, but still, it is fortunate. You must all be tired—please soak yourselves in Yeongsan Sect's pride, the hot spring."
"What? A hot spring? There's a hot spring?"
Ban Ho-jeong threw both arms up in triumph.
"Vice-Fortress Leader, you may bathe with us. The other members of White Tiger Fortress may enter after sunset with our disciple."
Our Master's shoulders rose with pride at her one boast. But Ban Ho-jeong was horrified and shouted at the bandits.
"Absolutely not! I don't know about Jang-ui and Son Il, but Gu-dong and Wang-seok are out of the question!"
Right. Those two bastards were homos.
"Now, Vice-Fortress Leader, we may like men, but not every man. You like men too; do you grab just anyone? Besides, I want a leisurely bath alone with Wang-seok, so we'll go last."
"Fuck. If I find your jizz floating around in my hot spring, you die."
"You worry about your own hole, Vice-Fortress Leader. And stop grinning just because you met a young master."
Whoa. Master moved fast. Before I knew it, she'd covered Cho-ryeong's ears and was smiling as though nothing had happened. These bastards might help rebuild Yeongsan Sect, but they were catastrophic for a child's education. The sun hadn't yet set, but exhaustion drove everyone into their huts early. It was slightly uncomfortable, yet the feeling of renting a bungalow—and the relief of finally being home—let me fall into the deepest sleep I had enjoyed in a long time.
The next day, Yeongsan Sect's rebuilding continued. I had no choice but to open my eyes at the racket raised by the White Tiger Fortress bandit bastards from morning on.
"Agh! Fuck! You crazy bastards! You do know you're basically hostages, right? Remember the Flame Sword Aura? I'm telling you, you can really die here! Show some restraint!!"
Ban Ho-jeong's voice tore through the air.
"I mean, what do you expect us to do with someone who looks like that? Just the smell of a woman makes us retch—how are we supposed to sleep next to her? And Vice-Fortress Leader, isn't it you who's the weird one, not us? Why is it that since we were all in the same beggar state, the Yeongsan Sect Leader has given off a fragrance, but you reeked of rot?"
"Do you know what it's like to be locked in a prison cell without even being able to clean up your menstrual blood?"
At the noisy voices, my master and senior sisters came out too and stared at their hut in bewilderment.
"Ah! That's it! We'll just build one more hut, so Vice-Fortress Leader, you stay alone!"
The bandit who kicked open the door met Master's eyes and immediately bowed. They were looser than an ordinary sect, but among bandits the chief's authority was absolute. He had clearly recognized Master as Yeongsan Sect's leader.
"I say, I understand your rough speech because you've done rough work, but couldn't you speak a little more gently? As you can see, we have a young disciple..."
"Apologies, Sect Leader! Today, I will move my quarters to the forest opposite Yeongsan Sect at once!"
His voice rang out. Master, who had probably never seen bandits before, looked deeply uneasy. As he strode toward the opposite forest carrying an axe, Lee Eun-ha called after him.
"Wait. Please have a meal before you go."
"Ah... Did you personally prepare food even for a wretch like me? This Wang-seok is truly moved."
At that, the other bandits poured out and crowded around Lee Eun-ha. The sight was faintly threatening, but she didn't flinch and calmly served the food she'd prepared.
"Junior Brother, please eat too. You've been eating the Murong Clan's rare delicacies all this time, so my cooking might no longer suit your palate."
"How could that possibly be?"
How long had it been since I'd had braised kimchi? How long since bulgogi? My trip to the village yesterday had truly been a godsend.
"Uh...? What? This is no joke, is it?"
After a few spoonfuls, Wang-seok spoke with a shocked face.
"Right? How can you make cooking like this without even a proper kitchen?"
"This might be the most delicious thing I've ever tasted in my life?"
They were all stunned by Lee Eun-ha's skill. Jang-ui, the eldest and impotent one, spoke quietly.
"As expected, a sect with women is different!"
"Yes... yes, it is? All this time, I felt so proud of the Green Forest, those mountain men, but now a sect with only men feels incredibly shabby."
At Eunuch Son Il's words, Ban Ho-jeong's eyes blazed with fury and she screamed.
"You bastards, really? Who is a sect with only men? All this time, my hands have turned into rags from cooking for you bastards!"
"Vice-Fortress Leader, just taste one spoonful. You'll realize that what you've fed us all this time wasn't food."
"Wouldn't you, Vice-Fortress Leader, also want to risk your life to evade the eyes of a Qi-Guided Sword master and kidnap Miss Lee Eun-ha to White Tiger Fortress once you taste this cooking?"
At her underlings' mocking voices, Ban Ho-jeong took a spoonful of yukgaejang. Sure enough, her face turned just like the other bandits'. Lee Eun-ha's skill was indeed great, but what the hell had these bastards been eating all this time to make such a ridiculous fuss?
They stood politely behind me and waited until I began eating. It had been a long time since I had last endured that custom. Once Hwangseong completed the improved Spirit-Binding Art, I'd ask Master to abolish this miserable dining order entirely.
Even though I'd stopped at every inn along the way and ordered them hearty meals, the bandits emptied their bowls in an instant like people who'd been starving for days. Ah... That went for our Yeongsan Sect, including me, too. I didn't know why, but unlike the calm Lee Eun-ha, I felt a swelling pride.
"Hoo-ah. Truly, my tongue feels like it's melting. We never knew all this time, but isn't Yeongsan Sect really wonderful? From the Sect Leader to the youngest miss, it's a complete den of beauties, and the Daoist is a tremendous master. This is what a real sect must be like."
At the homo bandit's words, Master didn't seem to know whether to laugh or cry. A real sect? That was what we wanted to say about Yeongsan Sect.
"For a start, having women here makes the atmosphere completely different from our White Tiger Fortress."
"Shut up. Don't you remember clinging to me, crying and begging me to do it for you just once before your dick got cut off?"
Ban Ho-jeong scowled and scraped her voice raw. Cho-ryeong had already been led away somewhere by Jeong-hyang's hand.
"Hey, that was only because you were the only person with a hole back then, Vice-Fortress Leader. Thinking about it, we're probably not so different from Wang-seok and Gu-dong, who like men. What good is a pretty face when her chest is a flat field?"
The eunuch spoke, giggling. The impotent one joined in, teasing Ban Ho-jeong.
"Exactly. Look at Miss Lee Eun-ha. Her face is even prettier than the Vice-Fortress Leader's, and what a feminine body she has. That's what a real woman is, which must be why she cooks so well."
In that moment, Ban Ho-jeong's face looked as if something had snapped.
"Hey. You bastards. All of you, get down."
"Huh? Oh, Vice-Fortress Leader! Are you going to humiliate me in front of the Yeongsan Sect people just for one little joke? A person with the chest of a real man—what are you doing, pretending to be jealous?"
"Shut up. Vice-Fortress Leader's orders. Get down."
"Ah... fuck. This is embarrassing."
Contrary to their grumbling mouths, the bandits assumed a push-up position you'd sooner see in the military. Ban Ho-jeong fetched the iron carrying-pole staff I didn't use much and began beating them with it.
"Hey!"
Thwack.
"You goddamn lunatics!"
Thwack.
"I!!"
Thwack.
"Told you not to cross the line!!"
Thwack.
She truly was a strange woman: Vice-Fortress Leader Ban Ho-jeong of White Tiger Fortress, possessing both the intelligence of a strategist or steward and all the wildness expected of a bandit.
"Fucking bastards. Are you all itching to die? I told you I'd kill you if you harassed the Yeongsan Sect people, didn't I?"
Thwack.
"Ah... no. What harassment is that? We're eunuch bastards anyway, so what kind of harassment is that?"
"Shut up!!"
Thwack.
"Eunuchs or men who like men, it is harassment if the other person hates it! You sons of bitches! Do you think these people are loose bandit trash like me? How dare you stare at this young lady's chest and harass her?!"
Ah... it had been a long time since I'd heard that one. If the victim felt bad, it was sexual harassment. Ban Ho-jeong delivered twenty-first-century-style harassment education with a spectacular beating. Like Cheon Myeong-hwa, her real specialty might have been a staff—the crude Wolf Fang Club of a bandit. After a long and brutal thrashing, she set down the iron carrying pole and ordered them,
"Get out. Now. Don't you dare crawl even one step into Yeongsan Sect from now on!"
When the beating ended, the bandits rose while rubbing their backsides. The relationship was genuinely amusing. They made Ban Ho-jeong run the household like a maid and sometimes used her to relieve their lust, with sexual harassment treated as normal. Yet at moments like this, they clearly respected her authority as Vice-Fortress Leader.
"I mean, then, Vice-Fortress Leader, are you going to help these people all by yourself? We'll sleep outside, so we have to come in and work during the day."
I ended up laughing at the sight of the bandits grumbling to the end and scurrying out of Yeongsan Sect to avoid the venomous Ban Ho-jeong.
The bandits were idiots as ever, but extraordinarily capable ones. They swiftly drew water, split the lumber left from the huts into neat firewood, completed an outhouse before I noticed, and raised a passable wooden fence. Little by little, the grounds began to resemble the old Yeongsan Sect again.
On top of that, a bandit brought back pheasants and rabbits he'd caught somewhere and politely presented them to Lee Eun-ha with eyes full of anticipation. In the midst of that, he skinned the rabbits and collected the shed fur to make a ball and even gave it to Cho-ryeong as a gift.
Truly useful moron bastards.