Chapter 54: Encounter
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 54: Encounter
The edge of the greatsword drew closer and closer. At this distance, Muen realized that the scarred man wasn't using the sharp side of the blade; instead, he was using the blunt back of the sword, just as Muen had done when dealing with An.
I just punched him as hard as I could, and he still only wants to knock me out?
He’s so considerate, I’m gonna cry... No, wait, now is not the time for that! If this keeps up, I really am going to be knocked unconscious and forced to become this bear-like creature’s (male!) bandit bride!
Anything but that!
But just as Muen was racking his brain for a solution, he suddenly heard a chant so gentle it nearly brought tears to his eyes.
"Compassionate Earth Mother Goddess, please grant me..."
An earthy yellow light enveloped his body. The back of the steel sword slammed into it, producing a dull, heavy thud, but it failed to budge him an inch.
"This is—"
The scarred man’s cheek twitched. He looked up at the girl he had been ignoring this entire time.
"Are you planning to interfere with my good business?"
"That’s the price of ignoring a mage," the girl said, lightly waving her magic wand with a playful smirk. "Besides, I don’t consider kidnapping a young... man to be 'good business.'"
"Dammit."
The scarred man grit his teeth. If he had known, he would have dealt with this woman first!
"You lot! Go take care of that little brat!" he barked at his subordinates.
But no one answered.
Turning his head in shock, the scarred man found his lackeys—Bandits A, B, C, and D—already sprawled on the ground, fast asleep and snoring.
"You didn't think I’d be as stupid as you, did you?" The girl gave a mischievous wink. "Avoiding useless chatter is a prerequisite for any excellent mage."
"You’re a lifesaver!"
Having escaped certain doom, Muen burst into laughter, wanting nothing more than to scoop the girl up and give her a massive kiss. But he didn't let the opportunity slip by. While Scarface was caught in a fit of impotent rage, Muen delivered another fierce uppercut straight to the man's chin.
"Defense Enhancement."
"Speed Enhancement."
"Fighting Spirit Recovery Enhancement."
"Reaction Enhancement."
"..."
Just as the scarred man was forced back a few steps, over a dozen enhancement buffs were cast on Muen in one fluid motion. For a moment, Muen looked like the flashiest guy on a nightclub dance floor, his entire body radiating a literal rainbow of halos.
"I feel like I'm overflowing with power!"
Muen clenched his fists, the excitement in his eyes impossible to suppress.
Is this the sheer bliss of having a top-tier support? With buffs like these, you could lead a dog into battle and it would still rack up a legendary kill streak!
With this kind of support, why should I be afraid of some gay bandit?
"Haha, let’s keep going!"
Suddenly under the illusion that he was invincible, Muen didn't hesitate. He raised his sword and charged at the scarred man with a wild war cry.
The scarred man raised his blade to defend, looking for an opening to counterattack. But Muen gave him no such chance. His moves were wide, powerful, and completely unpredictable.
To put it simply, he was just swinging his sword like a total maniac.
Though there was no technique to speak of, there was a saying: "A flurry of random punches can kill a master." Under the influence of the powerful buffs, he actually managed to force the scarred man into a steady retreat.
"Is that it? Is that all you've got? Is that it?!
"You really thought you could catch this Young Master to be your bandit bride? You're dreaming! Why don't you go take a leak and look at your own reflection—do you really think you're worthy of even a single leg hair on the handsome and invincible Muen Campbell? Huh?!"
"..."
Watching Muen pounce toward him with a green glint in his eyes, hacking away with increasing vigor, the scarred man suddenly had a moment of doubt regarding his own preferences.
He liked perverts, sure.
But this naked blonde guy... wasn't he a bit too much of a pervert?
Between the two of them right now, who was the actual bandit villain trying to kidnap a "maiden"?
"Dammit, you win this time!"
Seeing that the situation had turned against him, the scarred man was decisive. He turned tail and bolted, abandoning his subordinates without a second thought.
"Just you wait, I'll be back for you, beauty! Muen Campbell, right? I've remembered that name!"
The scarred man threw a parting threat over his shoulder before vanishing into the dense forest.
"Hey, wait!"
Muen’s reaching hand froze in mid-air. "He runs that fast?"
Watching the scarred man’s silhouette disappear in the blink of an eye, Muen scratched his cheek, unsure for a moment whether he should give chase.
"I’d advise you to give up on chasing him."
The girl had appeared beside Muen at some point.
"Eh? Why? Isn't this the best time to kick him while he's down?" Muen asked, puzzled. He didn't want a gay man lusting after his body at all times.
"Three," the girl said, ignoring his question.
"Two."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"One."
The moment she finished the countdown, Muen’s pupils suddenly constricted.
His body went limp as if all his strength had been siphoned away. He collapsed to the ground, a tidal wave of exhaustion crashing over him.
"This... this is..."
"Enhancement magic can boost your combat power and shield you from pain, but your stamina and your body are still your own. If you use them like that, of course your body is going to give out," the girl said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"So that's it."
Muen breathed a sigh of relief and gave up struggling, lying flat on his back. "I thought I’d been poisoned again."
"Why do you assume someone would poison you the moment they meet you?" the girl asked, tilting her head in confusion.
"Haha, that’s a long story." Muen laughed it off, not elaborating.
"..."
"..."
The two of them fell into a strange silence. After a moment, Muen was the first to find the cold atmosphere unbearable. He spoke up tentatively:
"Um... beautiful lady?"
"Yes?"
"Though this might be a bit abrupt, could you please help me strip some clothes off those bandits? I’ve suddenly realized I’m a bit cold," said Muen, who had been streaking for several days.
"No," the girl refused flatly.
"Why?" Muen’s eyes widened. "Is it that hard?"
"It's not hard." The girl turned her face away. "It's just that my mother warned me from a young age never to get close to perverts."
"I'm not a pervert! Why can't you come near me?!"
"Wandering around stark naked in the middle of nowhere—if that's not a pervert, what is?"
"There’s a reason for that! It’s because some evil woman stole my clothes!"
"Outdoor exposure? You city folk really know how to play." The girl took a subtle step back. "This is bad. I feel like I definitely shouldn't be near you. I might get pregnant. I have a lover, you know! If I’m defiled by you, what am I supposed to do? Waaaah."
"The fact that those words are coming out of your mouth is what's 'bad' here!" Muen protested tearfully.
Just as he was about to say more, his vision went dark as a beast-hide skirt was tossed onto his face.
"Thanks."
Muen forced his body up and wrapped the hide skirt around his waist.
"Huh?"
Muen looked down at his current appearance and couldn't help but stroke his chin. While it did cover the essentials, something felt off.
It felt a bit like... a naked apron?
No, no, it had to be his imagination. A beast-hide skirt and an apron were two completely different things. Besides, those bandits were clearly smaller than him; he couldn't fit into their clothes, so this would have to do for now.
"Anyway..."
Determined that he had cleared himself of the "pervert" suspicion, Muen extended a hand toward the girl and smiled. "Let me introduce myself. I'm Muen. For now... let's just say I'm unemployed."
"I'm Eluka."
After staring at Muen’s hand for a good while to ensure it wasn't tainted by "pervert energy," the girl—or rather, the young woman—finally reached out and shook it.
"A former adventurer. Currently, I'm a newlywed wife, in the middle of some 'excellent' training."