Chapter 345: Though I Smoke...
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 345: Though I Smoke...
"Speak up. What do you want with me?"
The Saintess sat with her pale, shapely legs crossed, expertly holding a cigar between her fingers as she asked:
"And don't give me that nonsense about wanting to borrow the All-Knowing Eye from His Majesty again just to help you find some student you 'accidentally' lost."
"Nonsense! Am I the kind of scumbag who only shows up when he needs something?"
The Pink Bear rubbed his paws together, chuckling. "Can't I just come visit you for once?"
"Oh? Since when did you develop a conscience?"
The Saintess lowered her eyes, casting a cold, mocking glance at the Pink Bear. "That’s not what you said when you came looking for me two days ago."
"Ahem, well, that was an emergency. Look, the crisis is temporarily over—well, half-over—and didn't I come to see you immediately?"
The Pink Bear squeezed out a fawning smile and patted his chest. "This represents my absolute, heartfelt sincerity!"
"Heh, sincerity? You call showing up empty-handed sincerity?"
"What do you mean empty-handed!"
The Pink Bear straightened his back, his voice ringing with conviction. "What could possibly be more precious than our friendship!"
"Heh. Ten years have passed, and you’re still as shameless as ever."
The Saintess gave him a look reserved for the lowest of scumbags. Then, she lazily propped her chin on her hand and blew a smoke ring directly into the Pink Bear’s face, chuckling. "In that case, have you noticed anything?"
"You..."
The Pink Bear suddenly went quiet. He looked at the Saintess, a woman worshipped by countless people, and said softly, "You seem a bit different than before."
"Different?"
The Saintess arched a slender, willow-leaf eyebrow, idly twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Am I?"
"Yes, definitely. I almost didn't recognize you earlier."
The Pink Bear nodded vigorously, his gaze following the movement of her slender fingers.
Her pale gold hair cascaded down, shimmering with a faint, ethereal glow. Arcane patterns flowed across her skin—the "Goddess’s Marks" spoken of by countless believers. Even the unusual "vastness" of her chest seemed to testify to her equally broad and compassionate heart.
Though her posture was no longer as elegant as it once was—looking more like a beautiful delinquent than a Saintess—it still couldn't hide her perfect appearance and holy aura.
But...
"I remember your hair didn't used to be this color," the Pink Bear’s voice suddenly turned low and raspy. "Does the Holy Light of the Life Church actually have an erosive effect? Did it make you..."
"Hmm? Oh... you mean this?"
The Saintess casually pulled a lock of pale gold hair in front of her eyes. "I dyed it."
"Dyed? Are there side effects? Or is it... wait, what did you say?"
The Pink Bear’s face froze, his voice jumping several octaves. "You said you dyed your hair?!"
"Yeah. I felt my old hair color was too plain, so I dyed it this color. Does it look good?"
The Saintess flaunted her long, sun-kissed hair with a toss. "Not only that, but to make it more eye-catching, I even applied a special fluorescent powder."
"Fluorescent powder?! It’s not Holy Light?" The Pink Bear was even more shocked; his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Of course not."
The Saintess rolled her eyes at him as if he were an idiot, showing him the shimmering powder on her palm. "Who could radiate Holy Light twenty-four hours a day without a break? I'd be exhausted. I just let a little bit of my aura leak out so people won't notice the difference."
"You, you, you..."
The Pink Bear stared wide-eyed. Suddenly, he shuddered, his gaze sweeping over the arcane patterns on her skin. "Wait, if the hair is dyed, then these legendary Goddess’s Marks are..."
"Tattoos."
"Ta..."
The Pink Bear nearly bit his tongue off.
The reason many believers followed this Saintess so fanatically was because she was born with "Holy Runes"—marks supposedly left by the Goddess herself, proof of her divine favor.
The Pink Bear knew the patterns weren't natural, but he hadn't expected...
"Then your chest... that looks like a second puberty..."
"Padded, obviously. Every Saintess in history has been quite well-endowed. If I weren't a bit bigger, I’d feel out of place. Besides, I’m basically an 'auntie' by now; how could I have a second puberty?"
The Saintess ran a finger over her "majestic" bosom and blew a kiss at the Pink Bear. "Custom-made by the Shuzao Holy Temple. Even if someone tried to grope me, it wouldn't be exposed. The feel is absolutely realistic. Want to... give it a try?"
"..."
For a moment, in the sudden silence of the confessional, the Pink Bear’s mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for air on dry land. He didn't know what to say.
The words dyed, tattooed, padded swirled in his mind like a kaleidoscope.
He turned to look at the statue of the benevolent Goddess and suddenly felt a chill of existential dread.
What was wrong with this world? Was nothing sacred anymore?
Even the Saintess was a fraud!
"You... you are deceiving the believers!" The Pink Bear beat his chest on behalf of the masses.
"Deceiving them? Am I?"
The Saintess looked at him with a half-smile, her gaze turning meaningful. "As someone who is extremely well-acquainted with such things, you should know very well that my reputation is among the best of all the Saintesses in history."
"..."
The Pink Bear was speechless.
Because she was telling the truth.
The current Saintess’s reputation was indeed exceptionally good.
"So, do you get it now?"
The Saintess switched which leg she had crossed and took a long, satisfying drag of her cigar. "Even though I smoke, dye my hair, and have tattoos, I’m still a damn good Saintess."
"..."
"But... to not even be able to see through this... Oranriel, your eyes are as terrible as ever." Her smile turned slightly cold.
"Ha... I thought being a Saintess was like a teenager going to a new school and wanting a total makeover," the Pink Bear said with a twitch of his lips and a sheepish grin.
"I stopped being a teenager a long time ago. Not since twenty years ago, when the Saintess before the last one abandoned her duties to pursue 'true love,' and the previous Saintess died unexpectedly after only two months in office, forcing me to take the position."
The Saintess took one last puff, crushed the cigar out on her chair, and stood up.
"If you came here just for these boring matters, then excuse me. Unlike you, I don't have a lot of time to waste."
"Wait... wait a minute. I have one more question."
"Speak."
"Since..."
Amidst the lingering smoke, the Pink Bear lowered his head, hiding his ridiculous face in the shadows. He asked softly, "Since you are such a 'damn good Saintess,' why did you suddenly start this ceremony to choose a successor at a time like this?"
"Hmm..."
The Saintess rubbed her chin and smiled. "Maybe I want to be like the Saintess before the last one and be a little selfish for once?"
"Liar."
The Pink Bear snapped his head up. "If you were truly selfish, you wouldn't... you wouldn't have gone this far."
"True... selfish people don't bother pretending to be good children."
The Saintess’s smile vanished. Her eyes grew deep and dark as she stared at the Pink Bear. "So... are you sure you want me to tell you the truth? The real reason?"
"..."
The reason...
All the flippancy and absurdity drained away. The Pink Bear raised his hand, as if to touch the woman standing right in front of him.
If he touched her, he would know everything.
But... in the end...
That paw, which could hardly even be called a hand, hovered in the air for a moment before falling dejectedly.
"Heh. You really are a coward, Uncle."
The long-unheard address made the Pink Bear daze for a moment. By the time he snapped out of it, the Saintess was smiling again.
A perfect smile.
She turned and walked away.
Holy Light washed over her, cleansing every trace of "filth" from her person. She folded her hands over her stomach, her back straight and dignified. Once again, she was the Saintess worshipped by millions.
"Ah, right."
The Saintess suddenly looked back. "I know you wanted to ask about something else. But regarding the Lost Homeland of Cantville, that matter is entirely under His Majesty’s jurisdiction. I cannot interfere. However, I can promise you this: in this matter, everyone is at the same starting line. That includes the children under my wing. Understand?"
With that, without waiting for the Pink Bear’s reply, the Saintess stepped into the light outside, leaving him alone in the darkness.
...
"A coward?"
Inside the confessional, a human hand reached out from the Pink Bear’s mouth, holding a cheap, rolled cigarette that was seconds away from burning out.
"If only I really were a coward. Then I could go find a woman with a big chest and have a good cry."
The Pink Bear stared at the benevolent statue of the Goddess, flicking his ash and scratching his backside with zero reverence.
"Too bad there are no cowards here. Just one goddamn adorable little pink bear."