Chapter 245: Ya
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 245: Ya
"Between me, Anna Kabulin, and that little maid of yours... pick the most beautiful one."
"Muen Campbell, who do you choose?"
Celicia’s voice was soft and elegant. Her eyes, shifting between dazed and vacant, were brimming with a watery mist, carrying a hint of coquettishness that didn't normally belong to her.
Between the gentle breaths she exhaled, a faint scent of wine mingled with the fragrance of orchids, plucking at one's heartstrings.
However...
Listening to Celicia’s words, Muen was in no position to enjoy the moment.
He was grief-stricken.
He was in agony.
He was trembling.
Tears streamed down his face.
Why?
I ask you, why?!
Why does every single one of you love asking these soul-torturing multiple-choice questions?
What is the point of asking a question that serves no purpose other than to escalate conflict?
Can’t we just have some peace?
Can’t we have some harmony?
Can’t we just get along?
Why must there be a winner and a loser?
Wouldn't it be great if everyone just became my wings and we all lived happily ever after?
I just want world peace and for everyone to find their own happiness. What is so wrong with that?
"Hu... hurry up and answer."
Celicia urged him. She began to twiddle the Ice Crystal Sword in her hand, swinging it around haphazardly. She looked so weak and limp that it seemed she might drop the sword at any moment.
Yet, accompanying those erratic movements, clear sword gashes began to appear on the door, the walls, and the floor, narrowly missing Muen each time.
With every stroke, Muen felt as if he could see the little goldfish he had accidentally killed in his past life, now standing on the far bank of the Styx, waving at him cheerfully.
"I..."
"Let... let me tell you in advance, I won't accept 'a tie for first place' as an answer, ya," Celicia added.
Why do you have to be so smart at a time like this?!
"Is that so?"
Muen forced himself to swallow the nonsense he had just prepared. He glanced at the Voice Transmission Stone in Celicia’s hand, which was currently recording, and took a deep breath.
"It seems I have no choice but to make a decision."
"Hmm?"
Celicia looked down expectantly.
"Spit it out, ya."
"I choose..."
Muen stared into Celicia’s eyes, a look of absolute resolve appearing on his face.
Then, he delivered his answer.
"I choose—DEATH!"
"Eh?"
As he spoke, before Celicia’s bewildered eyes, Muen suddenly raised his hand and swung his fist...
Right at himself.
With that full-force strike, coupled with a deliberate spiritual shock, Muen performed a three-and-a-half-turn mid-air rotation, grazed the edge of the door, slammed into the opposite wall, and then...
Blacked out.
Silence returned to the room.
Watching Muen knock himself unconscious with a single punch, Celicia’s cherry lips parted slightly. She blinked, her wine-addled brain clearly unable to process the current situation, making her look adorably dazed.
Unfortunately, Muen wasn't awake to see it.
...
...
In the darkness, a light flickered on.
A certain familiar Grand Judge sat high above, slamming his gavel down.
"I hereby declare Muen Campbell guilty of the crimes of two-timing, flowery language, duplicity, defiling the princess, and being the ultimate scum man! He is sentenced to the extreme penalty!
"Carry out the execution immediately!"
"Extreme penalty! Extreme penalty! Extreme penalty!"
The jury pounded the tables and cheered. A certain Lawyer Ai So-and-so, whom Muen found extremely familiar, looked particularly excited, drumming on the table with thunderous force.
"Slay him! Slay him!"
"Wait!"
Muen scrambled to defend himself. "Listen to me, I’m not a scum man! I’m really not!"
But it was too late. The scene shifted instantly. The Grand Judge and the jury vanished, and in a flash, Muen found himself standing on an execution platform.
There was no guillotine, nor was there a noose.
Instead, three young girls stepped slowly out of the darkness.
"Young Master, I’m so sad. Why didn't you choose me?"
"Junior, were all those things you said before just lies?"
"Muen Campbell, are you going to ignore our engagement?"
The girls' faces were filled with sorrow, and in their hands... each held a gleaming cleaver.
"Wait, let me explain! Let me explain!"
Muen backed away in a panic, but there was nowhere to run.
The girls approached slowly, clutching their cleavers. Tears seemed to fall from their blurred faces.
"Since... since you refuse to make a decision, we’ll just have to compromise."
"Wh... what compromise?"
"We’ve decided to grant your wish and get along peacefully..."
"That’s good! That’s a good thing!"
"...By peacefully splitting you up between us."
Muen’s face froze instantly. Then, he saw three gleaming cleavers falling toward his head simultaneously.
In his final moment, only one thought remained in Muen’s mind.
Getting hit by a cleaver is really damn cold!
...
...
"I’m not a scum man! I’m not!"
Muen screamed in terror and snapped his eyes open.
Fortunately, there were no cleavers in sight—only an unfamiliar ceiling.
"This is..."
Muen paused, then sat up excitedly. "Is it morning? I don't have to suffer anymore?"
"Burp... what do you mean, morning?" a familiar voice said.
Muen’s smile froze instantly. He turned his head slowly, his neck so stiff he could practically hear the bones grinding.
The familiar scene filled his vision once more.
The same room, the same candlelight, and the same drunken Princess—it was as if nothing had changed.
He was currently sitting on the only bed in the room, staring silently at Celicia, who was leaning halfway over the edge of the bed.
"How... how long was I out?"
"How... how long were you out?"
Celicia tilted her head, held up a hand, and counted her fingers one by one before holding up three.
"You slept for five minutes, ya."
"Five minutes?"
Muen’s eye twitched.
This wasn't right. The force he’d used earlier should have guaranteed he’d be out until dawn! If he couldn't even control that much, all those nights being brutalized inside the Black Book would have been for nothing.
"Did you do something, Celicia?"
"I healed you, ya."
A green light flickered at Celicia’s fingertips, which then transformed into an icy blue shimmer in the next instant.
"And I gave you a little wake-up call, ya."
"..."
Muen’s mouth twisted. No wonder that cleaver felt so cold; it was her doing.
"Wait, hold on."
Just then, Muen noticed something was off.
Was Celicia’s face even redder than before?
And what was with that cute little "ya" at the end of every sentence?
Muen tremblingly held up a finger and asked, "Celicia, how many is this?"
"That’s..."
Celicia swayed as she lifted her head, scrutinizing the finger for a long time before answering with certainty:
"Three!"
Saying this, she looked at Muen again, placing a finger against her cherry lips in confusion.
"Huh? Muen Campbell... when did you... learn Transformation Magic to make clones of yourself, ya?"
It was over. She was even drunker.
But why? He had never heard of drunkenness getting progressively worse over time.
Muen slowly looked down.
As Celicia shifted her weight, Muen finally saw the object she had been leaning on.
The gift box.
But now, within that exquisite box, at least half of the slots that had held the chocolates were empty.
Muen’s vision went dark.
She had been a nightmare after just one. Now that she’d eaten over a dozen...
My life is forfeit!