Chapter 39
Chapter 39
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 39
Chapter Title: The Yandere Fairy's Gaze is Strange
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"Where is the Gold Fairy!"
All my senses were screaming it at me.
The man raging in front of me like a blazing fire.
He was far too dangerous.
'Hoo...'
Stay calm. This is still my house.
I clenched my teeth, knowing that if I let him look down on me even once, there'd be no telling where it would end.
"Who the hell are you?"
"You dare talk back to me!?"
"Kuhk!"
His words alone made my hair stand on end, an overwhelming pressure pouring out that made it hard to even breathe.
My mind started to grow hazy.
My legs went weak, and my body swayed.
Then the man snapped his thumb and middle finger with a sharp click.
"A mere human who can't even withstand this much aura dares to stand against me?"
"...That's not it. I was just asking who you are."
The man, who had been looking down at me with his hands behind his back, clicked his tongue a few times before speaking.
"I am none other than King Yama."
Ye- King Yama?
No way. Why would someone of such high authority in the heavens, who handles the dead, come to a rundown place like this?
Just for one Gold Fairy?
"Are you really King Yama?"
"Indeed!"
If what he said was true, what happens if you lie to him?
No immediate harm, maybe, but would I get dragged straight to hell the moment I die?
'Shit, not only fairies, now even King Yama.'
Confusion swirled in my head like a storm.
Judging by King Yama's fury right now, if the Gold Fairy got caught, she'd be punished up in the heavens too.
Then not only the gold bars, but even the Silver Fairy would stop visiting once she heard the news.
So.
What was the best move for me here?
I had to play this carefully.
Should I protect the gold bars for immediate happiness and rot in hell later as a soul, or give up the gold bars and head to heaven...
Wait...?
Even if I gave up the gold bars, there's no guarantee I'd go to heaven, right?
Have I ever believed in gods?
No.
And I couldn't clearly remember doing any good deeds in my life either.
On top of that, my stacked sins against my father...
Even if I started piling up good deeds right now, could I really escape hell?
'Hmm...'
Suddenly, a strange peace settled over me, my racing heart calming to a steady beat.
I stepped boldly forward toward King Yama, who was still radiating that immense pressure.
"Hey, old man!"
"O-Old man?"
Did I go too far?
No, if I'm going down anyway, better to go all in.
Easier to switch tactics if things went south unexpectedly.
Swipe.
I stiffly raised my chin in front of King Yama, who looked dumbfounded and at a loss for words.
"Does being King Yama mean you can treat humans however you want?"
"What...?"
King Yama started grinding his teeth.
And then he unleashed that suffocating pressure again.
"Kuh!"
There was no retreating now.
Surely King Yama wouldn't kill a healthy living person, right?
No, I'd never heard any folktale like that.
"Say that again."
"...Does being King Yama mean you can... pressure a human like this!?"
I gritted my teeth and endured it desperately. King Yama snapped his middle finger and thumb again, releasing the pressure, and twitched his eyebrows.
"Do you think a mere human like you has any right to speak to me?"
"Watch your words. You approached me first and started talking."
"Hmph! Enough nonsense. Hand over the Gold Fairy right now."
Since King Yama had come all this way, it meant he roughly knew the Gold Fairy had bathed here.
A clumsy lie would only backfire.
I decided mixing truth and lies just right was the best play.
"It's true the Gold Fairy was a guest in our bathhouse, but last I saw her was last night after she finished bathing and headed back to the heavens."
"You lying through your teeth. I definitely saw her come down here, but I didn't see her go back up!"
So fairies bathing on earth usually went unregulated.
But did King Yama have eyes that could see a thousand miles?
With countless fairies in the heavens, how did he pinpoint that the Gold Fairy bathed here specifically?
'Hmm...'
Suddenly, a past conversation with the Gold Fairy flashed in my mind.
She always respectfully added "nim" when mentioning the Jade Emperor, but when talking about King Yama, she'd mix in words like "pervert" and curses.
I eyed King Yama suspiciously.
"How did you know the Gold Fairy came down here?"
"W-What!?"
"You didn't secretly stalk her, did you, King Yama?"
"What nonsense...! I, King Yama, know everything without needing to stalk!"
King Yama's massive eyes bulged even wider.
But his lips trembled ever so slightly.
Convinced my hunch was on point, I pressed the attack harder.
"If you know without stalking, then why ask me where the Gold Fairy is right now?"
"T-That's..."
"Mind if I relay everything you've said today to the Gold Fairy?"
"What!?"
"With her personality, I can already guess how she'll react."
I shook my head side to side with a sigh, and King Yama gaped before clenching his fists and raising his voice even louder.
"You bastard! Once you're a soul, do you need to see the Hell of Slander firsthand to come to your senses!?"
Yeah.
I never expected life to be easy anyway.
You gain something, you lose something else, right?
So fearing it was just a waste of time.
I planted my hands on my hips and lifted my chin.
"Fine, kill me and I'll live in the Hell of Slander."
"What...?"
"But in return, I'll make sure to tell the Gold Fairy everything you said. Spying on your subordinate outside work hours... just imagining it is horrifying."
"W-Who said I was spying!?"
"Huh? You're acting so righteous, so why get so mad?"
People only get mad when they're dealing with someone on their level.
No matter how rude a kid is, would you hit them if they weren't yours?
"You really... want to die, don't you."
King Yama ground his teeth so hard they might shatter, but he didn't resort to force.
Since I'd cracked the whip, now it was time for the sweet carrot.
I casually sat back in the rooftop chair and spoke.
"Ha... I came up to throw the Gold Fairy's clothes in the wash..."
"What!? Clothes the Gold Fairy wore?"
Leaning back in the chair, I pointed toward the sauna with my finger.
"Oh, the clothes she wore briefly when she went into the sauna. They were soaked with sweat, so they need a good clean."
"The Gold Fairy's sweat... soaked...?"
When the Gold Fairy referred to King Yama, she'd thrown in "pervert," so I tested the waters with that angle. Sure enough, his nostrils flared wide in reaction.
Now was my chance.
"I thought since King Yama was here, maybe you'd brought a gift to thank me for taking care of the fairies' baths."
"The Gold Fairy's sweat... soaked... wet...?"
"You show up out of nowhere yelling at me, and I'm the one confused."
"The Gold Fairy's sweat... soaked... wet... wash it... see it...!?"
I never said "see it"?
King Yama repeated himself like his brain circuits had fried.
His eyes were already glazed over, and bright red blood trickled from his hugely flared nostrils.
He looked like he might die from blood loss if left alone, so I stood from the chair and gently placed my hand on his massive shoulder.
"If King Yama shows some sincerity, giving me the occasional sweat-soaked robe the Gold Fairy wore would be no big deal..."
"What!?"
"Come on, King Yama. Let's be straight as men. You like the Gold Fairy, don't you?"
"...You lying mouth dares to—"
I hurled the Gold Fairy's sweat-soaked robe, draped over my arm, right into King Yama's face.
He froze on the spot like a stone statue, cutting off mid-sentence.
His shoulders heaved—he was sniffing it.
"King Yama?"
"Sniff sniff!?"
"Hey, how long are you gonna just sniff it?"
"Sniff sniff... W-What are you talking about!"
King Yama snapped irritably.
But he still clutched the Gold Fairy's sweat-soaked robe tightly in his right hand.
This was enough to confirm King Yama was a pervert, so I sidled closer, pretending it was a mistake as I scratched my head.
"Oops! I accidentally gave you the Gold Fairy's sweat-soaked robe... Hand it back to me for now—"
"Tell me."
"...Pardon?"
"That proposal you mentioned earlier!"
Finally, he'd bitten the bait.
From our back-and-forth, it seemed the Silver Fairy and Fairy of Fables didn't know about coming here to bathe.
King Yama only seemed interested in the Gold Fairy.
So.
No need to mention the other fairies and risk stirring up trouble.
If I spilled unknown info and he reacted like, "The Silver and Fable Fairies bathe here too!?" it'd just create problems.
I continued calmly.
"Every time the Gold Fairy visits, she gives me a gold bar."
"Hmph! Don't stop there, keep talking."
King Yama's eyes were already mad with the thought of getting the Gold Fairy's sweat-soaked robe—he'd do anything.
He seemed to have lost all interest in his original goal of finding the Gold Fairy.
"Respected King Yama."
"Yes."
Strike while the iron's hot, as they say.
Like a master merchant closing a big deal, I rubbed my hands together and lifted my eyebrows.
"I can give you one of the Gold Fairy's sweat-soaked robes every time she visits... but what can you do for me, King Yama?"