Chapter 23
Chapter 23
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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 23
Chapter Title: I'll Look Into Your Heart
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I’ll Look Into Your Heart
Warm sunlight and a gentle breeze drifted in through the open window.
I was sitting in a chair, relaxing and soaking in the tranquil atmosphere.
Someone opened the door and walked in.
It was an old man with white hair and round glasses.
His wrinkled face looked incredibly gentle, but his eyes were sharp and held a certain coldness.
I’d already heard he wasn't a bad person, but I didn't let my guard down.
“I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Were you bored, being the last one?”
His tone was soft, contrary to his appearance.
I shook my head in response to his question.
Noticing my tension, the old man gave a faint smile, pulled out a chair, and sat down across from me.
“There's no need to be nervous. Nothing here is dangerous or painful. Just think of it as talking to a friend.”
They say it's a special day that happens occasionally at the orphanage.
Every few months, a professional counselor visits to check on the children's psychological state.
This time, due to the recent incidents, they called him in much earlier than scheduled.
“I know I was introduced earlier, but let me introduce myself again. I'm Dr. Hoffmann. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lily.”
Hoffmann stood up from his chair and extended a wrinkled hand toward me.
I hesitated for a moment before accepting his handshake.
Hoffmann smiled lightly and sat back down.
“Like the other children, please make yourself comfortable.”
Is that something I can just decide to do?
This is my first interview.
The reason I'm so tense is simple: I don't like this.
These people are skilled at reading others' minds, and I'm worried they'll uncover my secrets through their tests and examinations.
So I refused, not wanting to do it.
But I had no right to refuse.
Fine. Since it's come to this, I'll just have to play along.
Psychological tests are no problem; as long as I pick the 'right' answers, I can easily avoid a negative assessment.
“Do you happen to like candy?”
Hah?
I scoffed inwardly at his gesture.
Trying to lower my guard with food? How clumsy.
Something like that won't faze me in the slightest. The sturdy lock on my heart will never be opened.
“Here, how about this one? I hear it's quite popular with kids these days.”
*Click.*
It was as if I heard the sound of the lock on my heart clicking open.
*Gulp.*
I couldn't take my eyes off the lollipop Hoffmann had produced.
That beautiful color. That shape.
If my memory served me right, that was the candy they only made in limited quantities each day.
I’d given up on it long ago, since it wasn't available in this city.
“Here, take it. It's yours.”
…Mmm.
It wouldn't be polite to refuse a gift, after all.
I carefully took the candy and remembered to bow my head in thanks.
*Hehehe.*
I'll save it for later.
“You'd probably rather finish this quickly and go play with your friends, right? First, do you need another explanation before we begin?”
I nodded.
I’d already heard the explanation, so it was fine. The sooner this was over, the better.
Hoffmann smiled and turned his head toward the window. I followed his gaze.
“Don't you think the weather is lovely today?”
*Nod, nod.*
“Have you had any trouble while staying here?”
*Shake, shake.*
“How about the other children? Are you getting along well?”
*Nod, nod.*
“Do you ever think about going back to your old life, before you came to the orphanage?”
…*Shake, shake.*
The ordinary conversation continued like that for a while.
A negative result could cause trouble later, so I gave only positive answers, regardless of my true feelings.
After the final question, Hoffmann took a few sheets of paper from his bag and placed them in front of me.
A quick glance revealed it to be a common psychological test.
“Please be as honest as you can with your feelings. But don't think too hard about it. Just read the questions and write down the first thought that comes to mind.”
I picked up the pen and began to write.
There were no open-ended questions.
It was just checking boxes, so it didn't take long.
I could faintly hear the sound of the wind, the rustling of the curtains, and the chatter of children outside.
The scratching of my pen filled the room for a time, then fell silent.
I put the pen down and handed the test back to Hoffmann.
“Now, for the next part...”
Hoffmann put the test in his bag and took out a few new sheets of paper.
Unlike before, they were blank.
I had a good idea of what this was.
Hoffmann explained, and it was just as I expected.
He asked me to draw the house I wanted to live in, or to draw whatever I wanted. I followed his instructions, drawing with a light heart.
‘So far, so normal.’
This was similar to the psychological tests from my past life.
But this was a world where science and magic had both advanced.
As if to say it wasn't over yet, Hoffmann made a phone call. A moment later...
The door opened, and an assistant came in, wheeling a large machine.
The assistant attached wires connected to the machine all over my head and body.
As I stared at the machine with curiosity, Hoffmann spoke.
“It's all right. No need to be afraid. This machine is just to get a more detailed look at your condition.”
Once the preparations were done, the assistant began fiddling with the machine.
Then Hoffmann started talking to me again, just like before.
The topics were similar to our earlier conversation. More trivial talk.
Interestingly, every time I moved my head in response to Hoffmann's questions, the machine would beep.
Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I saw a rectangular screen on the machine.
Lines on the screen were rising and falling repeatedly, and lights of various colors—red, green, blue—flashed.
I didn't know what it was, but I assumed it was used to analyze my mental state.
The conversation didn't last long.
It was much shorter than the first part.
The assistant wheeled the machine out, just as he had brought it in.
“Thank you for cooperating so well. Now, please lie down on the bed over there.”
Is this the last part?
Nothing was difficult, but I'm a little tired.
I did as I was told and lay down on the bed.
Hoffmann pulled a chair over and placed it beside the bed.
“Alright, just relax like that.”
Hoffmann took a small device from his bag and placed it on the shelf next to the bed. After fiddling with it, he stood by the bed, clasped his hands, and began muttering in a strange language.
A faint light emanated from beneath his feet.
After the light faded, Hoffmann perched on the edge of the chair.
Hoffmann didn't move, but I could tell he was doing something.
I closed my eyes. I didn't fall asleep.
He might try to unmask me while I'm asleep.
Silence filled the room.
‘I think I heard there was magic that could read minds. Is this that kind of magic?’
If he really is reading my mind, what will happen?
Will Hoffmann figure out that I'm the Grim Reaper?
I'm worried about how this will end.
If that's truly the case, what choice should I make?
As I waited for this to be over, organizing my thoughts in the darkness, a loud noise suddenly shattered the silence.
I opened my eyes and turned my head.
The chair Hoffmann had been sitting on was overturned, and the old man's face was pale. He looked like someone who had seen something he shouldn't have.
His tightly pressed lips trembled slightly, and his dull eyes were unfocused.
As if sensing my gaze, Hoffmann finally came to his senses and adjusted his glasses.
He wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead and smiled at me.
It was a forced smile.
At first, I thought he was afraid because he'd discovered I was the Grim Reaper, but a closer look told me that wasn't it.
The emotion in Hoffmann's eyes wasn't fear or shock, but pity and sorrow.
His incomprehensible gaze left me confused, but the interview was over.
How unsettling.
*
The children's interview sessions at the orphanage were over.
The children had gone outside, leaving Red and Hoffmann alone in the room.
Red stood by the second-floor window, looking down at the playing children.
One child noticed her gaze and waved with a bright smile.
Red raised her hand and waved back.
She watched them for a moment with a warm smile before turning around to speak.
“How were the results? Are the children okay?”
“They're fine. They're all strong. Despite everything they've been through, not much has changed. Perhaps they've grown so accustomed to such things that they overcame it quickly.”
Hoffmann brought the teacup to his lips.
Red wore a somber smile.
“What about Lily?”
“…”
Hoffmann's hand paused for a moment. Red didn't miss it.
“…Dr. Hoffmann? Don't tell me the results were bad?”
Silence followed.
A small seed of anxiety began to sprout in Red's heart.
After a long wait, Hoffmann finally spoke.
“No. The first and second tests were both normal. However…”
Red's brow furrowed slightly.
Hoffmann didn't hesitate and continued.
“…She draws well.”
Hoffmann had suddenly changed the subject.
Red tilted her head but went along with it.
“Yes, she does. If she had been born in a much more peaceful era, she might have dreamed of becoming an artist.”
“What do you think when you see her drawings?”
Red thought about all the pictures Lily had drawn so far.
For a child, her skill was exceptional, and her style was distinctive.
She would capture the various landscapes in her mind on canvas, and the other children would look at her drawings and say...
That they were beautiful.
Red agreed.
But at the same time, she felt something else.
“They look lonely.”
A ruined city.
A fantastical landscape that seemed to come from a dream.
A snow-covered city.
A submerged city.
Every single one depicted a ruined city, never straying from a poignant and wistful atmosphere.
“Yes. Her other drawings were similar. A person's art often reflects their heart.”
Red understood what Hoffmann was trying to say.
Someone exposed to a terrible environment for a long time becomes emotionally devastated. And when such a person draws, the atmosphere is dark.
The children who first came to the orphanage were all like that.
Perhaps Lily was the same.
But seeing Hoffmann's expression, she knew there was more to it.
“Stop beating around the bush and just say it.”
Hoffmann quietly set down his teacup.
“I looked inside that child's mind, Lily's mind.”
Hoffmann let out a long sigh.
“It was horrifying. The other children were all the same, but not to her extent. I have never seen a place so dark.”
Hoffmann described to Red the world he had seen inside Lily's mind.
Mountains of corpses, piled high everywhere.
Rivers of blood flowing down from the bodies.
A pitch-black sky without a single point of light.
Screams echoing from all corners of the darkness.
He added that if he had delved deeper, he might have been able to uncover her past, but he couldn't risk being swallowed by that darkness.
A shadow fell over Red's face.
Red fell silent, lost in thought.
What kind of past must she have had for her heart to be so dark?
Red's heart ached.
After a moment, her tightly closed lips parted.
“…Is that so.”
“If you intend to be responsible for her, you'll need to watch her carefully. She may look fine on the outside, but inside, she's completely broken and rotten.”
“The responsibility feels heavier now.”
“It was your choice.”
“That it was.”
Red muttered somberly.
All the children brought to the orphanage have deep scars on their hearts. Caring for them is a much heavier burden than one might think.
That's why some people tease her, saying she's just looking for trouble.
Red has no regrets. She chose this path knowing everything.
She believes that just as the other children got better, Lily will too.
*Drrrring~.*
An alarm rang from her pocket. Red took out her phone and opened it.
Red's face instantly contorted into a frown.
It was a message from Isaac.
It was about the promise they had made at the zoo.
The appointed time had come.