Chapter 94
Chapter 94
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 94
Chapter Title: That Which Lies Within (1)
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“Asking you to keep the truth to yourself alone would be cowardly, wouldn’t it?”
I had nothing to say.
When I stubbornly kept my mouth shut, Judith was the first to break the silence.
She switched the leg she had crossed and began.
“You must have realized it just from seeing us here, but we’ve thought your behavior has been strange lately.”
“…”
“What strange behaviors of yours have you noticed yourself?”
“Notice? Excluding this incident, nothing in particular…”
“No, you know. You’re the type who’s meticulous about self-management.”
I couldn’t fully agree with Judith’s words, but it was true that I was sensitive about health issues in that regard.
Moreover, it wasn’t as if I had no inkling at all.
“…My sense of time was off. I skipped meals because I wasn’t hungry even when mealtimes passed… I think I skipped quite a few. Is that it? Did you get a hint from that here too?”
“Exactly right. And one more thing. When I suggested we eat together, you watched my actions and mimicked them. I know your usual portion size. The normal you would never eat that much.”
Hearing the story, it was definitely true.
Eating is an essential activity to sustain life, and it’s in the realm of instinct.
But over the past two days, I had forgotten that instinct.
The problem was that even though I recognized my state as abnormal, I deliberately avoided thinking deeply about it.
If things continued like this, I’d have to scrutinize every little action, like endlessly monitoring my own breathing or closing my eyes.
‘Then should I explain it as it is? But how?’
I had smoothly fallen into the trap that Ivan’s presence had set, and I had fallen for it spectacularly.
It felt like being sucked into an antlion pit.
Perhaps my very premise was wrong.
If I threw these four people, who knew nothing, back into that battlefield, wouldn’t it lead to an even worse outcome?
“It’s a situation where I need help. Maybe I should have asked for it sooner.”
It didn’t matter if I paid the price for my choices.
Naturally, these four here shouldn’t pay any price for my choices.
But in this situation, what if I made a half-hearted excuse?
Wouldn’t clumsily trying to hide the truth lead us to a conclusion we shouldn’t reach?
‘The worst case is if this incident pinpoints Ivan’s presence and gives him power.’
With the situation like this, there was no more room to retreat.
The moment the focus shifted to that being that grew stronger on fear and awe, the balance we had maintained so far would shatter, and we’d meet the same end.
Choosing the lesser evil over the worst—that was the only thing I could do now.
“—I’ll explain.”
Regret that I should have done this sooner came late, but ruminating on it wouldn’t undo what I had done to Theodore.
So I decided to frame it this way.
From now on, our opponent wasn’t Ivan’s presence, but the guardian angel—decided.
Guardian angel. If it was the embodiment of fear itself, I planned to lower its maximum value.
If my anxiety and fear had strengthened Ivan’s presence, then its power wasn’t fixed.
In that case, perhaps I could reduce its power through perception.
‘It’s a gamble, but…’
If that was really possible, and if I could control it well, I might even downgrade it to a lower being.
“The guardian angel has been devouring the academy’s fear and become a stronger existence. More precisely, it’s started to take form. And it’s blackmailing me to fulfill some promise.”
“A promise?”
“The problem is, I don’t even know what that promise is.”
I recalled the words Ivan’s presence had spoken while mimicking me from within the shadows.
〔This is absolutely not the end!■■! Next time, and the next, it will continue as long as my soul exists!〕
That was clearly something I had screamed at Ivan’s presence some time ago.
Those words, likely the cause of all this, were probably the starting point of whatever promise Ivan’s presence and I had made.
‘If there’s basis in that rage-filled outburst, then as long as my soul exists, this endless cycle continues.’
I didn’t know why I had said such things to Ivan’s presence, but I was clearly out of my mind.
The me, who least believed in the world after death, had talked about souls to both Theodore and Ivan’s presence.
It wasn’t something trivial that would make me hurl such a curse—not-curse at Ivan’s presence.
Anyway.
“The guardian angel was obsessed with Theodore. It thought Theodore remembered what I couldn’t.”
“That’s…”
As the topic turned to Theodore, Arthur interjected.
Arthur Usher, one of the most famous six at Aegis Academy and a genius swordsman of swordmaster class.
His potential was unprecedented.
But he had a history of abuse from his family in childhood, and he was especially close to Theodore, with whom he had spent his youth.
I raised my palm toward Arthur to stop him, then continued.
“My private involvement with Theodore so far was absolutely not intentional, but since this incident is what the guardian angel wanted, I think… there was some hidden intent.”
Even as I spoke, I lost confidence.
What I was saying now was like interrogating Theodore, even drugging him, then excusing it as ‘Actually, someone else told me to do it.’
But unexpectedly, Theodore was the first to agree.
“You’re right. Actually, while Arma Cruise was pressing me, there was one special sign.”
“…Sign?”
Recalling that time, the only thing I properly remembered was using an accent subtly different from mine.
The rest was mostly an explosion of negative emotions.
“I’ve already told the others, but it was the eyes. While Arma was the [Guardian Angel], there was a ring of light around the pupil, like flickering flames.”
Theodore tapped the eye covered by his eyepatch.
Talking about pupils while tapping an eyepatch—maybe Theodore’s idea of a joke, but in this situation, it wasn’t funny.
“…Why didn’t you at least defend yourself minimally when you saw me in that state.”
“That’s…”
Theodore, who had barely answered Arthur properly, responded earnestly to me.
“Because I knew Arma Cruise’s consciousness was still there.”
“Consciousness? I’m telling you not to trust me anymore, and even now, I’m doubting myself. Wondering if I’ve been possessed by that damned monster.”
“That’s not true. At least not just before.”
I almost snapped, demanding how he knew.
Perhaps guessing the unspoken question, Theodore answered first.
“I was certain when I grabbed your arm. It felt like the one harboring anger toward me and the one who wasn’t were fighting for control of the body.”
It wasn’t a conscious action, but precisely because of that, Theodore had focused on it.
I was grateful.
Though whether defending me was good for Theodore and me was another matter.
“Why not just explain why the guardian angel targeted you and Theodore? Wouldn’t that be faster?”
Judith, who had been listening to our conversation, cut in.
I shook my head as I looked at Judith.
“There are circumstances right now that prevent me from explaining the incident’s details myself. You all in Crown of Thorns Class can probably guess why.”
“…Ah.”
Theodore nodded belatedly.
“What do you mean?”
“If you can’t say it, just write it down and show us, right?”
Shirley and Judith each added their thoughts.
But I shook my head again.
To explain that presence in any way, I’d have to mention Ivan from the Aegis creation myth.
Judith, with her different religion, was unlikely to catch on immediately, but for Shirley, raised in this country, it was riskier.
While I pondered how to explain, an unexpected savior appeared in Arthur.
“The <promise> itself seems to have a non-disclosure clause, or mentioning it causes a curse to rebound on you, Senior.”
Closer to the latter than the former, but that wasn’t a perfect explanation either.
Fortunately, it seemed sufficient, as both Judith and Shirley nodded in agreement.
“I’m sorry for hiding it all this time. I had no reason to drag you into something this dangerous. It seems I made some promise with this guardian angel entity. But I failed to keep it. The problem is, as I’ve said, I haven’t grasped exactly what that promise is.”
“It’s like a devil’s contract. Deals with devils seem fair at first glance, but in reality, they’re endlessly disadvantageous for the contractor and favorable for the devil.”
Oh no, Judith was sharper than expected.
I hurriedly tossed a new topic to Judith, who was approaching the truth.
“It followed me targeting me for that reason too. Because of that promise I don’t remember, there was a price it could claim from me. And my guess is, after collecting that price from me, the guardian angel will become uncontrollably powerful.”
Right now, the guardian angel merely chased away and harmed several cadets.
But if Theodore’s words and the nightmares I’d repeatedly had weren’t lies, the guardian angel would grow stronger, bulk up, and eventually devour the entire academy, and even the kingdom’s mainland.
“What’s that price? You don’t remember that either?”
“Probably my soul.”
“Your soul…”
Shirley’s face paled.
Then she gripped my shoulder tightly.
“Let’s petition Makina for sanctuary. If it’s accepted, even mid-semester, we can leave the island for a bit.”
It was the most serious expression I’d ever seen on Shirley.
The complete opposite of her usual carefree, joking self.
“That won’t solve it.”
“Even if the price is your soul? If this continues, won’t the guardian angel possess you? Let’s go to the kingdom’s priests. Send word to Countess Tessa Cruise too.”
Searching for solutions through Mother… I hadn’t ignored that option.
But I didn’t think leaving this island would free me from Ivan’s presence’s influence.
Rather, right now, with Ivan’s presence’s interests confined to Hazard Island, my escape might turn its gaze to the mainland interior.
If that happened because of my choice, I’d go mad.
“Shirley, calm down.”
“How can you stay so calm!”
“I have no intention of dying meekly. And in this situation, going to the mainland would be more dangerous for me. The target could shift to something easier. And that target would have to relearn everything I’ve realized so far from scratch.”
It was common knowledge that I was the weakest existence on this island.
But on the mainland, there were far more fear-vulnerable states—like children, the sick, the elderly—scattered everywhere.
I patted Shirley’s hand on my shoulder and removed it.
Shirley let go without resistance, yielding her hand to me.
“Everything is an unfortunate coincidence. Hazard Island has too many factors that empower the guardian angel. Superstitions and distrust are rampant, it’s isolated, and most of the island’s inhabitants are young.”
This place was a sort of isolated cradle.
A cozy cradle for Ivan’s presence to stay in and smoothly bulk up and grow.
The guardian angel had already gorged on the abundant fear provided by Hazard Island and grown tremendously.
To the point of seizing my ego and trying to use Theodore.
‘Lesser evil over worst, and if lesser evil, the one favorable to me…’
Makina Christie.
I thought of the one person on this island currently with influence equal to the guardian angel.