Chapter 154
Chapter 154
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: penny
Chapter: 154
Chapter Title: Not Out of a Sense of Justice (1)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
After that, I had almost no memory of the next half day.
I clearly remembered Theodore saying something to me (and even that I replied), but overall, it was just a blank.
Once I finally closed the child's eyes and stepped out, I thought my mind had settled down somewhat, but it was obvious that some kind of scar had been left deep in my psyche.
'Damn it...'
I tried not to toss and turn so as not to wake Theodore, who might be sleeping lightly, but my body wouldn't cooperate.
〔Theodore, let's meet during afternoon free period later. I'll be waiting in the reception room at the Tree Cross House.〕
In the end, I barely slept a wink through the night, left a note for Theodore at dawn, and slipped out of the room.
The events from yesterday kept dragging my thoughts into a quagmire.
'Logan.'
Before I knew it, Ivy's face had overlaid with Logan's, and then the Logan from my past memories shifted into Ivy's face.
Logan had died at just about that age, too.
Ever since yesterday, my mind had been fixated solely on that.
It was a kind of trauma response.
"Arma."
Judith, who had silently seen me off, called out to me from a distance.
It was still early dawn, with the blue tint not yet faded from the sky.
Judith was dressed in the academy-issued white ceremonial uniform from head to toe, different from her usual sea-blue one.
"What's with the ceremonial uniform? Something going on?"
"Sir Reynolds suddenly drafted us for some unheard-of event, but I didn't catch the details."
"Lectures are suspended, so what kind of event?"
"Exactly. Whether this is his own scheme or what, I don't know precisely either."
Maybe it was because of yesterday's events, but did it feel overly suspicious that he was calling Judith out 'of all times, right now'? Was that too sensitive a reaction?
Judith didn't seem to think much differently from me, but in any case, there was no grounds to refuse the summons now.
Besides, since Judith was enduring the academy's grueling life with naturalization as her goal, that made it even more so.
"Arthur got drafted too, then?"
"Yeah. The poor guy's already on the verge of exploding from master class stuff."
"If anything happens—"
"That's what I wanted to say. Arma, I'll play dumb as much as possible. So you do the same. Until we have solid evidence."
"—Got it."
Since our opponent had become none other than the academy itself, the restrictions on our actions were a major regret.
Fighting from unfavorable ground was utterly exhausting.
We needed some new stratagem.
'In the end, do I have to leave the island?'
Securing a skilled captain who could navigate the treacherous sea routes to come and go from here was top priority... Damn. The more I thought about it, the more my head ached.
"Arma, hold on a sec."
Judith, who had been silently inspecting my appearance, stepped closer, straightened the decorative cord braided from gold thread, and patted my shoulder.
"I want to tell you not to bottle it up, but that'd be irresponsible."
"......"
"Since I didn't personally keep vigil at Ivy's deathbed or get forced into that role."
After that, Judith meticulously adjusted my crooked cloak collar and holster strap before slowly pulling her hands away.
"But still, I think I should have stopped you."
Before I could ask why, Judith added,
"If I'd known you'd get hurt this much over something involving a total stranger."
"...I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal."
Truth be told, as a cadet, this kind of thing was bound to keep happening.
In a way, experiencing it only now could be seen as late.
Moreover, it wasn't hard to infer why Judith was so composed and calm.
'Someone who's already witnessed the deaths of close ones multiple times.'
There was a kind of unspoken boundary between Judith and me.
For me, it was the story of Logan; for her, it was the 'past' before coming to the Holy Aegis.
I couldn't bring myself to probe deeply into it, lest Judith completely shut me out emotionally.
"What did you do?"
Asking Judith that was pure impulse.
It was poking at the intimate part she'd kept silent about all this time.
'Is she gonna get mad?'
Maybe I'd crossed the line in an impulsive mood without realizing.
The moment I tried to apologize, Judith revealed an unexpected side I couldn't have imagined.
"I mourned deeply. Until I could convince myself."
"......"
"I know there's something you can't shake off easily lingering in here."
Judith deliberately pointed to my chest area with her prosthetic right hand.
"Loss isn't the kind of thing you overcome. That's why I'm telling you not to bottle it up. Don't try to overcome the loss—just mourn it. And let's uncover why Ivy had to end up like that."
"Yeah. ...Thanks."
"No problem."
Judith turned on her heel and headed toward the main building of the Tree Cross House.
I doubted I could expect more help from her beyond this.
But I couldn't just let it go like that either.
I headed in the opposite direction from where Judith went, toward the annex.
'First, I need to meet Dillon.'
Unlike the main building clustered with classrooms, the annex housed professors' offices, prep rooms, and special rooms.
The club rooms were in this direction too, and since Dillon spent nearly every day there, I was sure to find him.
I hurried along and arrived at the "Baby Angel's Fruit" room.
*Knock knock knock.*
"Come in."
As expected, Dillon was there.
"Looks like something's—up."
Before I could even speak, Dillon read my expression, guided me to a seat, and locked the door.
"Where are the little ones?"
"They went to class after scarfing some snacks. So, what's the problem?"
*Creak.*
We sat facing each other in the innermost corner of the club room.
Ironically, this now-unused backroom of a club room felt perfect for secretive talks.
"One of the hired kids from yesterday died from that contagious disease."
"...Hired kid? Name?"
"Ivy, they said."
"Damn, Ivy..."
Not just frequenting the civilian homes like they were his own, but Dillon seemed closer to Hazard Island locals than I'd thought.
"Alex, right? The sick kid you met when you went with him."
"Yeah."
"Ivy was in almost the exact same state as that Alex kid. Red sores on the skin, severe coughing. Is she the other one who got sick first, like they mentioned?"
"Right. But Ivy didn't have any adults to care for her—how'd you meet that kid?"
"Colette, from the medical staff, was looking after her alone. Probably in some basement area used by the hired help."
I went on to tell Dillon what had happened in that basement.
Of course, I omitted that Colette seemed part of the local group revering me as the executor.
Dillon was so intimate with the locals that he might have some close ties I didn't know about.
"Yeah, Ivy..."
Dillon lowered his gaze.
With his usual playful expression gone, an eerily inhuman chill emanated from his face.
"Thanks for Ivy's sake. That kid was really diligent and good. You probably didn't see her much since she ran errands for the Silver Chalice House."
"No, I didn't do anything..."
"That's not true. Ivy wasn't an academy cadet, but she'd been here a long time, so your presence must've been huge comfort."
The unspoken part Dillon deliberately left out was 'Arma Cruise as the executor.'
After a brief silence, Dillon spoke as if resolved.
"Drop this matter now."
"What?"
"Exactly that. Anyway, how you ended up meeting Ivy... jeez..."
Muttering with a heavy frown, Dillon thunked his forehead on the table.
From the mood, he looked like he might pull out a cigarette, but he didn't smoke.
"Oh, one thing I wanted to tell you."
"Yeah, go ahead."
Dillon's expression had turned completely resolute, unlike moments ago.
I doused that resolve with cold water.
"I'm not backing off."
"What? Arthur, as a senior about to graduate, getting tangled in headaches—"
"It's a matter of conviction. So I don't think it's something others can weigh in on."
"......"
It must feel out of left field.
Or maybe chalk it up to youthful sense of justice.
But I wasn't doing this out of a sense of justice.
This was a form of self-rationalization.
Wanting to reverse the irreversible, to ease my mind even a little—that kind of self-rationalization.
"Dillon, as you said, I'm a graduating senior. If I just let this slide somehow, I'll graduate."
And unless I avoided the problems staring me down—elusive obsessions and fears, guardian angels, campus rebellion, blood-soaked graduation ceremony, and such—I couldn't leave this island.
The academy's suspicious experiments had just gained one more entry among the many issues.
"I just questioned whether I could live rightly knowing all this."
Of course, I had plenty of blueprints for life after graduation.
Mostly dismissed as overly mature dreams for my age, but they were my vision for a normal life, in my own way.
Though I'd already drifted far from normal, I felt that to achieve those dreams, I couldn't compromise on this incident.
'I'll regret it, no doubt.'
Ever since last summer, the only things I could handle were cookie's affection disguised as body slams.
I couldn't comprehend my own recklessness in tackling what I couldn't handle.
"So Dillon, we have to resolve this. For my peace of mind, at least."
"......Hah. See? I said I couldn't stop you."
"...Pardon?"
I'd mustered what I thought was major resolve to say that, but Dillon's reaction was odd.
His response, if you could call it that, seemed directed at someone else in the room.
"There's a limit to twisting your own fate. Really can't talk you out of it."
"Shirley sunbae, you're heavy."
"I think those last two chicken pies were overkill too."
"Shirley... and Theodore?"
Surprisingly, the [Baby Angel's Fruit] room had prior guests besides Dillon and me.