The Breath of Space
It felt like lightning had struck inside my skull. ‘Manipulating space……!’
The rigid shell of prejudice that had been covering my mind shattered with a crisp crack. It was an answer I had never even considered. The concept of “space” had never entered the scope of my thoughts. My reasoning had fixated entirely on the stone. A physical object with form and mass. I had been trapped inside the narrow premise of “lifting a stone,” viewing everything through tinted lenses. No wonder my perspective refused to expand.
‘So magic is about handling space.’
Back when I read the grimoire, I had dismissed all those incomprehensible metaphysical phrases and pretentious words as nonsense. Apparently, the entire book had been about space all along.
‘What the hell have I been doing?’ What exactly had I been reading? A hollow laugh escaped me. For four years I had pored over the same magic text hundreds of times, even copied it by hand when understanding refused to come. Yet the true core had slipped right past me while I obsessed over meaningless combinations of letters. If Natasha could explain it this simply, why had the authors buried it under mountains of drivel? Magic is the manipulation of space! One sentence would have sufficed. The sheer waste of effort left me hollow.
Later, if I ever meet the scholars who wrote that book, I’ll burn it right in front of their eyes.
‘Damn it.’
While I was mentally cursing faceless authors, Natasha’s voice pulled me back to reality.
“In other words, [Space] is both the foundation and the essence of magic. It is the beginning and the end.”
“Then does that mean you can’t use magic if you can’t manipulate space?”
“Of course. However, before one can manipulate space, one must first possess the aptitude to perceive it. Those who cannot comprehend space can never walk the path of magic. All magic begins with the perception of space.”
Perceiving space…… I chewed over her words the way one chews food, slowly and thoroughly.
“In ancient times, mages were sometimes called ‘Spacewalkers.’”
Everything she said sank in immediately. I might not know much about Natasha, but she was clearly an excellent teacher.
“There is much more to discuss regarding space, but since this is your first lesson, we shall keep it light and focus only on the concept. That concludes the theory. Now, let us move on to basic practice.”
She tossed the stone she had been holding onto the ground and dusted off her hands.
“Juno. Let us go where there is water.”
For practice we needed water, so Natasha led me to another location. She seemed familiar with the forest; without any guidance from me she quickly found a large pond. We stood side by side at its edge. Gentle blue ripples spread across the surface.
“Do you remember what I said earlier? That we must begin by perceiving space?”
“Yes.”
“From now on, we shall practice that.”
My very first magic lesson! My heart pounded like a drum. I had been nervous during the theory lesson too, but now the excitement had doubled, and my chest thumped loudly. The reality that I was finally stepping into the world where I could truly experience magic was sinking in.
Natasha stared at my strangely flushed yet stiff face, then burst into laughter.
“Are you trembling?”
“Yes. Honestly, I’m a little excited. Is it that obvious?”
“Your cheeks are as red as tomatoes.”
“Ah. Like the face you made when you saw yourself drooling in the mirror earlier?”
“W-why bring that up again!”
It was just a casual remark, yet Natasha’s face flushed in a perfect gradient. If she had looked like a tomato before, now she resembled a fully ripened persimmon. If I balanced one on her head, it would be hard to tell which was which. Speaking of persimmons, I suddenly wanted to eat one. I quickly looked away; I couldn’t let thoughts of fruit ruin my concentration on the lesson.
“Come now, there’s no need to be so embarrassed. Not between us. Don’t worry, I’ll erase the memory of you drooling in your sleep from my mind completely.”
Yeah, that was a lie. How could I ever forget such an amusing scene? It was perfect material for future teasing.
“Who’s embarrassed! Everyone drools in their sleep! Have you never drooled while sleeping?”
“I haven’t. I sleep with my mouth closed.”
“Hmph! Tonight, try sleeping with your mouth open! Let’s see if you drool or not!”
She flapped her arms like a bird taking flight and hurriedly changed the subject.
“Enough of that. A-anyway! Close your eyes already!”
I switched back to serious mode and shut my eyes. Once the window of my eyelids closed, the other senses imprinted on my body opened wider. The scent of grass, birdsong, the chirping of insects, the ticklish brush of wind against my cheek, the faint sound of rippling water, the temperature of the air, the dampness of the soil beneath my feet……
Though my vision was filled with darkness, the colors of the world shimmered in rainbow hues. Through that rainbow, Natasha’s gentle voice flowed in.
“From this moment onward, believe that only two existences remain in this world: you and the space surrounding you.”
“I just need to imagine that nothing else exists?”
“Correct. Imagine that no objects exist at all. No ground, no sky, not even wind. A perfect void. Within the vast universe of space, you are the only living being.”
I entered the world of consciousness. I pushed away the darkness filling my vision and recalled the natural scenery I had seen earlier, painting it inside my mind. Then I took a giant eraser and wiped away the grass, trees, rocks, and pond—every single thing that had stood in its place. What remained was only emptiness. A dense, overwhelming mass of pure white void stretching in every direction from me. No matter which way I reached, my hand touched nothing but space.
Space flowed like water. In the endless sea of space whose beginning and end could not be known, I existed. As a living being, I inhaled the breath of the void.
Huff. Haa. That breath became mine inside my lungs. The moment I exhaled, it seeped back into the void and became the breath of space once more. Our breathing connected. We shared breath, linked with space, and gradually became one.
Then, at some point, something strange occurred. Space began to feel like a single living existence. As though it possessed its own ego, like a living creature. Face to face with it, person to person, life to life. It was as if I were staring at the face of a being called [Space] that had eyes, a nose, and a mouth. An indescribable, alien sensation.
I had no idea how much time had passed. The more I immersed myself in the universe of space, the duller the flow of time in the outside world became. All I could feel now was this bizarre sensation. It was so eerie and foreign that I began to wonder if I had taken a wrong turn.
“Space is breathing. It feels exactly like a living creature. It’s kind of creepy and strange. Is this correct?”
“……”
“Natasha?”
Strangely, there was no reply. With my eyes closed, I couldn’t see her expression.
‘Why isn’t she saying anything?’ She didn’t run off just because I teased her a little about that embarrassing moment, did she?
After a brief silence, a response finally came. Fortunately, she hadn’t fled.
“……The sensation you are feeling is not mistaken. Continue to perceive [Space] as an [Existence] and connect your [Consciousness], [Imagery], and the three worlds of [Space] into one.”
So I wasn’t wrong after all. A relieved breath escaped me. It seemed I was on the right track. Following her guidance, I dove back into the universe of space. Consciousness. Imagery. Space. I crossed between the three worlds, breathing with them, forming a single overlapping point.
It was a process that consumed an enormous amount of mental energy; sweat trickled down my forehead. I wondered how much time had passed when the veins of my consciousness and imagery world finally connected with the veins running through the universe of space, reassembling into a single blood vessel.
“What do you feel? Whether you see something, touch something, or hear something—any sensation at all, tell me.”
“I can see something.”
“What is it?”
“I suppose you could call it a net. Anyway, something like a net is spread out in every direction.”
“A net?”
“Yes. It looks like shimmering golden threads woven into a grid pattern, just like a net.”
“……”
“Natasha?”
Silence. Once again, no answer. This silence lasted even longer than the previous one.
Hello……? If she stayed quiet any longer I was going to open my eyes.
“Natasha. What is this net-like thing?”
I had to wait a long time for her reply. But when it finally came, it was completely unrelated to my question.
“Oh dear. This is insane.”