Self-Destruction (7)
“Are you truly serious? I have a family, you know.”
“You accepted the situation fully aware of everything, didn’t you? Besides, if anyone overheard, they’d think I was actually telling you to have an affair. Watch your words.”
This old man… They say age brings shamelessness, and Jeon Nando was skillfully dodging the subject, shutting down my protest entirely. No matter what, wrong was still wrong. Asking me to coax Gong Haeseon and turn her into the Association’s spy? Wasn’t that just toying with a person’s heart?
I opened my mouth to draw a clear line. “…Even so, that’s not—”
At that exact moment.
The atmosphere plunged as if someone had dumped ice water over us. Jeon Nando gave me a subtle glance, silently urging me to answer, then sank deeper into the sofa.
I quickly pulled out my phone and checked the screen. The familiar name glowing there stopped me cold.
CALLER: Min Soyeon
Ah. A low sigh escaped me as I suddenly remembered I had planned to reach out to her. I shot up from my seat and answered urgently.
“Hello?”
I moved to a quieter corner, pressing the phone to my ear. That was when her voice came through.
“…Where are you?”
Min Soyeon’s icy tone sent a chill down my spine.
“Sorry. The conversation dragged on longer than I expected and I forgot—”
“…I asked where you are.”
She cut me off coldly. She was clearly in a bad mood.
“I’m still at the Association…”
“…When are you coming back?”
I glanced over at Jeon Nando on the distant sofa. He was already lighting a fresh cigar. It looked like he still had plenty left to say.
I turned away, covering the microphone, and spoke carefully.
“…I’ll head over right away.”
No matter how important the discussion was, it couldn’t outweigh my daughter.
“…Hurry.”
When I told her I was on my way, her voice finally softened just a fraction as she urged me to come quickly. I kept apologizing until I finally hung up.
Returning to Jeon Nando, I told him I needed to leave immediately. He asked if the call had been from my wife.
“…Was that Yeonhee?”
“No, sir. It was Soyeon.”
At the mention of Min Soyeon, he gave a quiet nod of understanding. Without pressing further, he simply said we would continue our talk another time and saw me off.
*
I rode in the car Jeon Nando had arranged, and before long I arrived at Min Soyeon’s house. It was just past eight in the evening.
In truth, eight o’clock wasn’t terribly late. More like the mild thought of Ah, work ran a little long. That was genuinely what I had believed.
But…
The moment the clock struck eight, my wife’s message had arrived like clockwork. Combined with Min Soyeon’s insistent call to hurry, I began to wonder if I had been the one in the wrong.
Standing before the gate, I quickly typed a reply to my wife.
After briefly explaining the situation, I approached the intercom to unlock the gate. Just as I reached out—
It was exactly the message I had expected from my wife… yet it somehow still carried the weight of come quickly.
I sent a final reply saying I would simply make sure she ate and then leave, then swiftly unlocked the gate.
Clank— The heavy gate swung open with a deep rumble.
Without thinking much of it, I stepped over the threshold, crossed the familiar yard, and headed straight for the front door. I unlocked the deadbolt with practiced ease and pulled the handle.
Creak—
In the pitch-black darkness beyond the door, a pair of gleaming eyes met mine.
“Ugh!”
Startled, I instinctively stumbled backward. The motion sensor triggered, flooding the entrance with light.
Flash— The darkness vanished, revealing the brightly lit entryway.
“…S-Soyeon?”
There she was—Min Soyeon, crouched down and hugging her knees tightly on the floor of the entrance.
She had been staring blankly into space. At the sound of my voice, she slowly rose to her feet. Her expression was utterly dry, devoid of any readable emotion. At first glance, she almost looked angry.
“…You’re late.”
Her words fell coldly, like a blade tossed aside.
…What is this?
Her tone felt subtly different from usual—enough to stir a faint sense of unease.
“…Sorry. The conversation went longer than expected and I completely forgot.”
I honestly admitted I had forgotten and apologized. She stared at me for a long moment before answering in a low voice.
“…Next time, contact me first.”
Her words carried the tone of a scolding, yet there was an oddly commanding edge to them. A faint, inexplicable discomfort rose in my chest. For some reason… she reminded me of Ju Yeonhee from her younger days.
“…Yeah. Sorry.”
I watched her reaction carefully as I apologized again. She stared at me wordlessly, then abruptly turned her body.
“…I’m hungry.”
Thankfully, this time a trace of life had returned to her voice. It seemed she had accepted my apology.
*
Swish— Swish swish—
I sat across from Yu Jihwan, blankly watching his skilled chopstick work. In seconds he had removed every bone from the fish, leaving only thick, appetizing pieces of flesh.
“Here.”
He naturally placed the perfectly prepared portion onto my spoon. The glossy white rice and beautifully grilled mackerel brought back old memories without warning.
…Back then, Dad always used to debone the fish for me…
Now Yu Jihwan was doing it for me.
Satisfied, I slipped the spoon into my mouth, chewing slowly while stealing a glance at him. He was watching me with a warm, content expression—the kind that seemed to say I was precious.
…Yes. This is how it should be…
Earlier, when I had been sitting alone in the dark entrance, I thought I was truly going to lose my mind.
Each minute, each second waiting for him had felt suffocatingly heavy. My heart had pounded so violently I feared it would burst. What if he said he wasn’t coming? What if something had happened to him on the way? What if he had been lying to me all along and was doing something else?
All kinds of negative emotions and terrible thoughts had wormed their way into every corner of my mind, devouring me from the inside.
After he answered my call, I had felt a little better. But that relief lasted only briefly. Ten minutes passed. Twenty minutes. The endless suspicion and dark thoughts surged again.
Is his work more important than me? Does he not want to see me? Was he never planning to come and only forcing himself to show up? …Is another woman holding him back?
The suspicions chained together endlessly, turning my mind into a wasteland. Just as that horrific nightmare threatened to swallow even my last shred of hope, the tightly closed door finally opened.
The Yu Jihwan I had desperately waited for had appeared. His sincere apology melted the ice that had frozen my heart, extinguishing the blazing suspicion in an instant.
If he had been even a little later… then…
“…Soyeon. What happened to your nails?”
Yu Jihwan’s voice snapped me back to reality. I glanced at the nails he pointed out. Some were bitten short, others left long and jagged. I had gnawed on them relentlessly while waiting for him.
Feeling slightly embarrassed, I quickly hid my hands and told him it was nothing. But he didn’t seem convinced. His face filled with concern as he asked gently.
“…How did they get like that?”
…What should I say?
I hesitated, unsure whether to tell him the truth or make up an excuse. If I admitted, “I was so anxious because you didn’t contact me that I bit them,” all the ugly, negative emotions I harbored might be exposed.
He would definitely see me as a bothersome, strange girl. But a random lie felt just as awkward. I couldn’t claim a rat had eaten them—he wouldn’t believe something so ridiculous.
“…”
While I wavered, trapped in indecision—
“Soyeon.”
Yu Jihwan spoke first.
“After we finish eating, I’ll trim your nails for you.”
“…Huh?”
He would trim my nails? Jihwan… my nails…?
Before I could fully process his sudden offer, he told me to eat first and continued deboning more fish for me.
“…Here. Let’s eat first.”
Not wanting to stir up unnecessary trouble, I quietly closed my mouth and continued the meal. It seemed the moment had passed safely.
*
Click—! Click—!
The cheerful sound of the nail clippers rang out as the mangled, torn nails on Min Soyeon’s fingertips were neatly trimmed away.
I held her fingers carefully, gently running my thumb over each one to check for any sharp edges from bad cuts. The blunt, firm texture told me they had been trimmed well.
“…All done. Next finger.”
She silently extended the next finger for easier access. I adjusted my grip, cradling her hand as if protecting it, then carefully positioned the clippers.
Click—! Click—!
Looking at the haphazardly torn nails, it was obvious they had been bitten. All ten fingers were in terrible condition. It was clearly a serious issue.
Still, I couldn’t directly ask the sensitive, delicate girl what was wrong. The priority was to trim them properly so she couldn’t bite them anymore.
Recalling memories of trimming her nails when she was little, I carefully worked through each one.
Click—! Click—!
By the time I reached the last finger, a light sheen of sweat had formed on her palm. At some point she had pressed herself tightly against me, leaning in. Her breathing had grown short and shallow, as if she were slightly uncomfortable.
Hmm… it’s almost finished…
To finish faster, I drew her even closer, carefully sliding the clippers into position, and spoke softly.
“…Soyeon. If it’s too much, tell me.”
I didn’t say anything more. I believed she would understand what I meant.
Min Soyeon, still clinging to me as if hugging my arm, buried her nose deep against my forearm. She took a slow, steady breath and nodded.
…She understood, right?