Chains (9)
The house chores were finally done, and I was just about to crawl into bed when—knock knock—someone rapped on the door. It creaked open a little, and a soft voice called out.
“...Haeseon? You awake?”
“...Unnie...?”
It was my twin sister, Yeji. Once she confirmed I was still up, she slipped into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
What could she want at this hour…?
“Haeseon. How are things going with that boy lately?”
Suddenly…? The abrupt question about Jihwan caught me off guard.
“...Huh? Why are you asking all of a sudden…?”
“Just… you haven’t looked very happy these days.”
“R-really? I’m fine, though…”
I fidgeted with my fingers and quickly avoided her gaze.
Up until the day exams ended, everything really had been good. I was slowly getting closer to Jihwan, and there hadn’t been any major problems.
There hadn’t been…
There really hadn’t been…
But the moment Min Soyeon, who had stayed quiet until then, started throwing herself at him, everything began to fall apart.
She acted like she was already his girlfriend, making it blatantly obvious that she didn’t like me being near Jihwan. The change was so sudden that I even wondered if the two of them had started dating.
But when Jihwan suggested the three of us sit together, I realized they weren’t in a serious relationship yet. He was still kind to me. I still had a chance.
The problem was Min Soyeon herself.
She kept emphasizing—almost like she was showing off—how close they were, even visiting each other’s houses. Yet the fact that they still weren’t officially dating only made her bragging feel more pathetic.
…But in reality, I was the more pathetic one.
Even a girl like her could bring Jihwan home, while the only thing I could do was bake bread for him.
It felt… endlessly, miserably pathetic.
“...”
My expression crumbled as the gloomy thoughts I’d tried to forget resurfaced. My sister jumped in alarm and grabbed my hand tightly, trying to comfort me.
“...Everything will work out. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll definitely be rewarded. That boy knows how wonderful you are. So don’t get too impatient, okay?”
“...Thank you, Unnie…”
Her warm words soaked gently into my dry, cracked heart. They weren’t quite as comforting as Jihwan’s gentle voice, but they were enough to cradle my wounded feelings.
…Yes. Someday, Jihwan will understand how I feel.
…Someday…
Consulting with my wife had been the right decision. The more I mulled over her advice, the more I realized how complacent I had been.
I had thought that if I tried hard enough, I could soften the blow to Gong Haeseon’s heart. That I could protect her first love beautifully.
But even focusing entirely on my own family was barely enough. Trying to embrace Haeseon on top of that had been nothing short of greed.
Once I faced reality, I could finally understand Gong Yeji’s feelings. No matter how much she cared for her sister, if I refused to accept those feelings, I must have looked like some indecisive bastard in Yeji’s eyes.
Thinking about it the other way around—if some random boy was toying with Soyeon, I would have acted exactly like Yeji did.
“...Haa…”
The guilt that arrived late stabbed sharply at my chest. If only I had noticed a little sooner, I could have spared Haeseon from an even bigger wound…
Because of one mistake, I had ended up hurting not only Haeseon, but my wife, Soyeon, and even Yeji.
This wasn’t a sin that could be repaid overnight.
…I need to reflect on this.
With a heavy heart, I finished preparing for school and left the house.
But then—
“J-Jihwan…!”
I ran straight into Gong Haeseon, who had been pacing nervously in front of the house.
*
…Why is Jihwan acting like this?
Is he in a bad mood today…?
I watched his distant figure from my seat with a growing sense of worry.
This morning, I had tried to walk to school with him to lift the mood, but he turned me down, saying he had something to take care of and that I should go ahead. I had no choice but to head to school alone.
The Jihwan who had sent me away claiming he had business showed up in the classroom with Min Soyeon clinging to his arm.
…That part was fine.
He had always taken care of Soyeon like that. It was normal.
It was fine.
It was also understandable that he moved to a different seat as if avoiding me. And the fact that he, who always sat in the back corner, suddenly chose the most noticeable seat in the very front row—I could rationalize that too. Maybe studying with me had sparked an interest in class.
Re-armed with positive thoughts, I specially baked some bread and approached him.
But…
“...Jihwan. Is something wrong…?”
“No, I’m fine…”
“...R-really…?”
The Jihwan who had always smiled warmly and listened to me now avoided my eyes and answered somewhat coldly.
Is he feeling unwell…?
Startled by this unfamiliar side of him, I quickly held out the shopping bag I had hidden behind my back.
“...H-here, eat this and have a good day today too!”
But Jihwan didn’t take the bag. He gently pushed my hand away and spoke slowly, as if the words were difficult for him.
“...Thank you, Haeseon. But I’ll just take the thought. I’m a little full right now… And you don’t have to prepare breakfast for me anymore. I’ve decided to start eating breakfast properly too… Thank you for everything until now.”
A polite rejection.
Had he ever turned me down before?
“...I-I see…”
Not even once.
Flustered by the unfamiliar sensation of being rejected by Yu Jihwan, I blurted something meaningless and hurriedly fled from the spot.
“...”
The very back corner. The seat Yu Jihwan had always occupied.
He wasn’t sitting there today.
I stared blankly at the empty chair, then cautiously reached out and stroked it. There was no warmth left—just a cold, lifeless feeling. The icy reality that traveled up my fingertips reminded me that I had been rejected.
“...Haa…”
As I let out a heavy sigh and continued stroking the empty seat, I heard it.
“Pfft.”
A small laugh came from somewhere.
A sticky, unpleasant feeling coiled around my heart.
…Someone is laughing at me.
With that inexplicable certainty, I frantically looked around and quickly found the culprit.
“...”
In this wide classroom, only one person. The girl covering her mouth while deliberately avoiding my gaze.
…Min Soyeon…
*
After all the classes had ended, I told Min Soyeon to go on ahead.
“...You want me to go alone? Why?”
“I have something to take care of for a bit.”
“...Something to take care of?”
“Yeah. It’s important, but I’ll finish quickly and catch up.”
She hesitated for a moment, clearly wanting to ask what it was about, but eventually told me to come soon and left the classroom.
After confirming she was gone, I felt a small sense of relief that she had listened more obediently than expected.
Soyeon’s been sent off…
Now all that’s left is to talk with Gong Haeseon.
I turned my head and looked toward the back of the classroom. There was Gong Haeseon, packing her bag with a somewhat forlorn expression in the seat we used to share.
The sight made my chest ache sharply.
She had always been a girl who smiled brightly. To see her looking so sad…
The thought that I might have been too harsh crept up on me.
Get a grip…
I shook my head, casting away all the distracting thoughts. If I gave her any room for hope now, it would only leave her with an irreversible wound.
“...Huu…”
With my resolve hardened, I cautiously approached Gong Haeseon.
“...Haeseon.”
The moment I spoke, she jerked her head up and met my eyes.
…Ah…
Her once sparkling eyes had become as dull as my wife’s had been when we reunited after three years.
“...Can we talk for a moment?”
“...Y-yes…!”
Haeseon hurriedly packed her things, saying she had all the time in the world, and I led her to a nearby café. Both of us seemed to need some time to organize our thoughts.
Once we had moved to the café—
“...”
Gong Haeseon stared blankly down at the coffee she had ordered. Steam rose steadily from the cappuccino. Perhaps the barista had made a mistake, because the white heart drawn on top was slightly warped.
I watched her quietly for a moment, then took a sip of my iced coffee and slowly opened my mouth.
“...Haeseon. I’m sorry for being so cold to you today all of a sudden.”
She blinked and looked up at me.
Ugh…
I had prepared so many words on the way here, but the moment our eyes met, they all vanished from my mind. All that remained on my clumsy tongue was the plain truth and sincerity.
In the end, everything I had prepared was nothing but shallow excuses.
…Yes. I can’t hide my true feelings at this point.
I pictured my wife’s face in my mind and continued slowly.
“...The truth is, there’s someone I’ve liked for a long time.”
At that, Gong Haeseon squeezed her eyes shut as if she couldn’t bear to hear it. The sight was so pitiful that it made it hard to keep speaking.
But I had to.
“And yet… even though I knew how you felt, I still accepted your kindness without hesitation.”
“...J-Jihwan… I…”
“I won’t ask you to forgive me.”
I cut off her words and delivered the final line.
“I’m truly sorry.”
At that moment—
“...”
A single tear rolled down Gong Haeseon’s cheek. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t blame me, didn’t curse at me. She simply kept her eyes tightly shut as tears continued to fall.
If I could, I would have patted her back and wiped away those tears. But that would only be deception.
So I sat there silently, waiting until her tears stopped, until the hot coffee grew completely cold.
*
Min Soyeon, who had hidden herself in a corner of the café, listened to the conversation between Yu Jihwan and Gong Haeseon and thought to herself.
If I had been sitting in Gong Haeseon’s place, what would I have done?
Would I have cried endlessly like her? Or would I have grabbed Jihwan by the hair and thrown a tantrum?
Maybe both.
“Whew…”
Min Soyeon let out a sigh mixed with relief and sank deeper into her chair. The only reason she could remain this relaxed was because she had already confirmed his heart with her own eyes. If she hadn’t, she might have gone mad with anxiety and chewed all her nails off.
Well done, Min Soyeon!
With her mind at ease, she sipped the fruit juice she had ordered and continued observing the two of them. That was when—
Vrrr— Vrrr—
Her phone began to vibrate.
“...Hm?”
Min Soyeon pulled out her phone and was startled by the ‘Unknown Name’ displayed on the screen.
[Mom]
Fidgeting anxiously as she glanced back and forth between the phone and Jihwan, Min Soyeon hurriedly left the café to answer the call.
At that same moment.
Gong Haeseon, who had finally stopped crying, cautiously opened her mouth toward Yu Jihwan.
“...The person you like… who is it…?”
“...Huh?”
Jihwan, who had steeled himself to endure even if she threw her coffee at him, let out a dumb sound at the completely unexpected question.
Haeseon wiped her tears roughly with the back of her hand, sniffled, and asked again.
“...I-is the person you like… Soyeon…?”
Jihwan flinched and waved his hands frantically.
“N-no! It’s someone… else…”
Haeseon carefully studied his expression and tone, and became certain.
Min Soyeon was not her rival.