Crashing the Perfect Proposal
In the center of the event hall stood a white staircase, with a massive bell hanging from the ceiling. Beneath it, a man knelt on one knee, offering a ring, as the onlookers cheered wildly.
"We've been together for ten whole years already. Now, for the next ten—no, fifty years—I want to be with you not as your boyfriend, but as your husband. Will you marry me?"
The ring in the man's hand must have cost him several months' salary. It was pricey.
"Woooow~~!!"
"So cool!!"
"That's a real man!"
"She's so lucky~~"
A once-in-a-lifetime event. Publicly proposing to a woman took real guts. The woman looked deeply moved too. Well, after ten years together, marriage was the natural next step. That's why they'd stuck it out so long—wanting to become husband and wife, and more.
"...I want to marry you too—huh?"
As she rushed toward her boyfriend—soon-to-be husband—with her approval, the woman froze. She'd seen her ring slip into someone else's hand.
"Whoa, this looks expensive. How much?"
—I'd crashed the party.
"It's worth 15 million won. Who the hell are you anyway?! That's mine! Get lost!"
Even in a rage that boiled his blood, the guy answered my question honestly. My sudden appearance turned the hall's festive vibe hostile in seconds.
"Boooo!!"
"Who the fuck is that guy? Some psycho?"
"Don't ruin the proposal!"
"Drag that asshole out! He's lost his mind!"
The crowd's jeers were understandable. Hell, barging into a proposal was crazy. But the real insanity was this world.
"Hey, you! This is a private event—get out!"
Several staff members rushed over, grabbing my arms to drag me away.
"Everyone, pull this guy out! It's an emergency!"
"Calm down."
"Yes, sir. We'll calm down."
"Let go of my arms."
"Yes. Everyone, let him go!"
What a hassle. The staff released me at my word and just stood there blankly.
"Hey! What the hell are the staff doing?!"
"Yeah! I said drag him out! Why are you just standing there?!"
"Did the staff take bribes or something?"
The crowd, expecting me to be hauled off, started booing again.
Annoying pests.
"Hey. You're all too loud. Shut your mouths."
"“““…………………….”””"
"All of you, go home and masturbate for a week straight without saying a word. Got it?"
"“““……………….”””"
The crowd shut their traps like ghosts had possessed them and shuffled home. Good luck with that week of wanking.
"What the fuck is this shit?! What the actual fuck!! What the hell is going on?!"
The proposer lost his mind, hopping mad. He couldn't comprehend the situation—which made sense. If he could, he'd be the crazy one.
"You like this girl?"
"Huh?! Of course I do—that's why I'm proposing! Who the hell are you?!"
I turned to the woman next.
"You like him?"
"Y-yeah, I do? Who are you? Give me back the ring!"
She went full guard-dog on me. Whatever.
Why else crash this if not to mess with it? No point in a hypnotized world otherwise.
"First, you. Guy."
"What?! You little shit!"
"You got a religion?"
"Catholic. So what?!"
"From today, you're a devout Buddhist."
"What? Fine, whatever."
"See women as stones and live celibate forever."
"What? ...Yeah, okay."
"Shave your head, head to the mountains, and become one with nature."
"Sure, why not."
The guy scratched his head and wandered off somewhere. Mountains? Or a barber? Didn't care.
"H-hey, honey! What are you doing?! Get the ring back!"
The would-be bride called desperately after her boyfriend. But he wasn't the man she knew anymore.
"Greed for possessions is all fleeting illusion. All forms decay and vanish in time."
"What are you talking about, honey?! We're supposed to get married!"
"This exists because that exists, and that because this."
"What the hell's wrong with you?! Even if the proposal flopped, I love you! I want to marry you!"
"This humble one has already offered body and soul to the Buddha."
"What kind of insane bullshit is this?!"
She wailed, but he strode out with palms pressed together, resolve like steel. No trace of desire on his face. Yeah... like an enlightened monk already.
"Sob! Hic! How did this happen?! We'd been together so long! Hic! Hic!"
She collapsed, tears streaming. Fair enough—her dream day turned to nightmare, dumped on top.
"Hey."
"Fuck off! N-no, I'll call him later, talk calmly. He must be heartbroken from the interruption!"
"Obsessed much. You like him that much?"
"I said I do!"
"Plenty of guys out there."
"Shut up! Hic! Hic! He's the only man in my life."
"Never dated anyone else?"
"No! Hic hic! I can't let him go. I'll see him again, no matter what."
"Forget all about him."
"Hic! Hic! ...Huh? Why was I crying?"
She went blank, like an idiot. Still panting, but her face relaxed.
"You're the type who'll fuck any guy."
"Yeah, pretty much. Oppa free today? Wanna hang?"
"You're ugly, so no. I've already got Jisu and Sua—my two flowers. I just crashed 'cause they looked happy."
"What? You're trash, oppa? Why ruin their happiness?"
"Ouch, that stings. From today, sell your body."
"What? Got it. Suits me anyway—any guy's fine."
"And swing an elephant trunk while chanting 'I'm trash' 10,000 times."
"Got it."
—"I'm trash! I'm trash! I'm trash!"
Leaving her endless chant behind, I slipped out of the event hall. Right in the middle of the amusement park, I spotted Jisu and Sua masturbating (my orders, of course).
"Ah. O-oppa♡ What've you been up to?"
"Customer♡ My pussy hurts from fingering for like thirty minutes♡"
"Ah, just wandering. This is an amusement park, right?"
I commanded them to stop. Sua whined she didn't want to, but looked disappointed when I made her.
"Honestly, never been to one with girls before. Wanna enjoy it for real today."
"Yeah! Let's do it, oppa."
"Whatever you want, customer."
Sua's attitude bugged me from earlier. Like she'd tag along if she felt like it. Time for a tweak.
"Hey, Sua. What do you think of me?"
"? You're the customer."
"From now on, obsess over me. Love me like crazy."
"Yes♡"
Sua beamed.
"You two both obsess over me, got it? Not that I care about you."
"Yeah! Oppa♡"
"Even if you don't like me back, please keep me by your side, customer♡"
That's how girls should react. Heh. With two smiling beauties tugging my arms possessively, I strutted through the park. Men's envious stares gave me a massive superiority rush. Me, who used to envy couples! Heh heh.
I even groped any cute girl's tits or ass I spotted. Boyfriend or not, didn't matter. Jisu and Sua puffed their cheeks, whining for attention—but it was just cute coquetry, no arrogant jealousy or rage.
This was alpha dating. No—super alpha.
"Thirsty."
"I'll grab drinks, oppa!"
"No, let me! I know the good stuff!"
"I'm tired."
"Piggyback, oppa!"
"Lean on me, customer!"
Heh heh. VIP treatment. Leaning on girls while walking? Only I could pull that off. For me, it was barely luxury.
After strolling with their pampering, I spotted the carousel from my childhood. Long line, as expected for a popular ride... You know what's coming, right?
"Tell everyone to get off."
"Complainers, crawl home like ducks."
"Waiters, stay and watch me enjoy."
The classic three-pack, bumper-car style. One tweak: For cute girls, I added "masturbate while watching me."
Girls on dates ditching boyfriends' hands to finger themselves, faces flushed? Always hot.
Only me, Jisu, and Sua boarded the carousel.
"As a kid, I thought: Carousels have horses, carriages, all sorts. Wanted to try 'em all, switching each time."
"Cool, oppa! You're amazing!"
"I love you, customer...♡"
With girls giving yes-girl reactions to everything, I rode horses, carriages—looped it eight times solo.