Whore, With A Kindly Smile (2)
Being called an orphan doesn't hurt me. I've never once felt pained by the word. Maybe because I was a bit too old when it happened? My parents passed away when I was in high school. At that age, the word "orphan" wasn't enough to tear through my heart. Well, no one ever said it to my face, either. Because of that, I’ve never thought of myself as starved for affection or suffering from attachment issues. I just liked being alone. I disliked people's attention, and I perceived their concern as meddling and nagging. A bit sensitively, perhaps.
In that sense, the Doctor's family were good people. When I needed it, they would dig deep into my life so I wouldn't feel lonely, and in everyday life, they maintained a proper distance and respected me. That’s not easy to do. That’s why I don't think I ever felt lonely or lacking. But those people are gone now.
I’m used to being alone. No, I thought I was used to it. But ever since that woman was locked in the lab, something has changed a little. Honestly, if she were my lover, I wouldn't be having these thoughts. I would have found it annoying. I would have felt it was cumbersome and inefficient. But her position isn't that. She is exactly what I need. A tool to receive my sexual desires and share warmth. Plus, she was skilled. She looked decent and was clean. So, she is a top-tier tool. Of course, she has the flaw of being "used" rather than a new product, but still.
Anyway, for those reasons, my life has changed a bit. First, I started visiting her more often. At least once a day. Sometimes two or three times. I would go to the lab and thrust my cock into her body. Maybe the problem was that I spent most of my twenties preparing for the apocalypse. The secrets of a woman's body, which I learned so late, are just too stimulating. Just like how I used to get hard in my prime teenage years just by looking at a picture of breasts? My daily goal became producing the semen to ejaculate into her.
Not even a few hours would pass before I’d find myself thinking of her. No, not thinking of the woman. To be precise, I was thinking of that body. It’s not a good phenomenon. Being immersed and obsessed with something makes many things go awry. My priority is survival. Not thrusting my cock into that woman's body. The scariest part is that I started to rationalize it to myself. "What’s so special about life? In a world like this, isn't it not so bad to survive just to have sex?" I can't let this happen. That’s a life where the cart is put before the horse. Living to eat and eating to live are different. Cigarettes and alcohol are luxuries. Not necessities. The same goes for that woman. If the goal is survival, her existence isn't essential. She’s just a lubricant that makes the daily satisfaction level a bit higher.
So, I reduced my visits to once a day. Humans need to know how to exercise self-restraint. It’s stupid to try to control someone else when you can't even control yourself. It’s pathetic. So, I stopped going there several times a day like a loser and shaking my hips. Once a day. After eating dinner and letting it digest, I’d go and have sex just once, like following a routine.
After about three days of that, she must have clearly felt my change. That day, too, I was diligently thrusting my hips into the woman lying there and ejaculating inside her. And as if I had finished my daily tasks, I pulled my cock out without any lingering attachment. Thinking, "I ejaculated comfortably, that's enough." As I stood up and turned to wash my lower body, she suddenly called out to me.
"Excuse me. Just a moment."
When I turned around, she spoke politely, as if not to provoke me. "Could you lie down here? I'll do something nice for you." She didn't seem to be plotting anything. It was just as if, since I had reduced my visits to once a day, she was trying to do something about it. I was curious what she would do. So, I lay down. She positioned herself between my legs, grabbed my cock—which was limp after I had ejaculated—and started to suck it slowly. Anyone seeing this would have thought it was "sincere." She was that serious and proactive. It looked as if she was trying to show me that I couldn't do without her by teaching me the ultimate pleasure. A gesture to prove her own value in this way.
She held my cock, licked the glans gently, and then traced the shaft with her lips while teasing the glans with her fingertips. At the same time, her mouth softly swallowed and released my testicles. Only then did I clearly feel how dangerous what she was doing right now was. My weakness was completely exposed. She could make me impotent if she just put her mind to it. A woman who could inflict a fatal wound on me at any time. I had turned the two men who came with her into zombies. So, she might not see me in a purely positive light. Even so, I couldn't push her away now. Maybe because it felt like losing? Or because I felt like a timid bastard? Perhaps that’s why everything she did was thrilling. I was pretending to be bold, but I couldn't deny that such thrills gave me greater stimulation.
Regardless of my inner thoughts, she continued to suck on my cock. Her soft lips kept stimulating it, and her hands were now fondling my testicles. Thanks to that, my cock became stiff again. I had just ejaculated, and there was a sense of anxiety, so it had been limp without any strength, but it seemed it couldn't withstand her persistent stimulation. It’s sad to see things like this. It feels like men lose so much because of this dick. Anyway, as my cock became stiff, she lifted her head, raised her body, grabbed my cock, and aligned it underneath.
"Mmm."
She let out a lewd moan as she lowered her body. My cock slid deep into her already soaked pussy. "Haa... You... do you know how big you are? You know, I don't hate doing this with you. Actually, I like it. So, I want you to keep thrusting deep inside me. Mmm." As she said that, she moved her body back and forth. Slowly. As if riding a rhythm. Because of that, her large breasts swayed beautifully. Breasts that dazzle the eyes. White flesh. A part that drives men crazy. Why can't men take their eyes off them?
"I... touch my breasts. Okay? Mmm..." She grabbed my wrists and placed them on her breasts. It would look a bit strange to pull my hands away after she had gone this far. So, I touched her breasts. Elastic breasts. Yet, they had a soft texture that seemed to suck my hands in. I know how good this is. Once my hands started touching them, they didn't know how to stop. She kept moving with a lewd expression. She bit her lip slightly or looked at me deeply with an expression of pure pleasure. Yet, she didn't stop moving. Furthermore, she repeatedly lifted her body slightly while clenching her pussy tightly, as if to pull my cock out.
This is driving me crazy. It’s a different feeling from when I move my hips and thrust on my own. Back then, it really felt like using a tool, but not now. It feels like doing it with a real woman. It feels like someone is devotedly serving me. "This is good too, but... I really want you to thrust into me. This isn't enough. Will you do that for me?" She got off my body. Then she crawled beside me, raised her hips, looked at me, and smiled wickedly.
"Ha."
I let out a dry laugh, but I had already stood up. She grabbed her hips and thighs and spread her pussy. Her pussy was exposed nakedly, as if saying "here." I pushed my cock into it, and she straightened her back and let out a lewd moan.
"Ahhh... It's big, and deep..."
She gripped the sheets. And as I moved my hips, she continued to moan. "Ahhh. Aaaah. It feels so good. Hnnng. Aaaaaah." Listening to those moans, I grabbed her hips and thrust my cock deep inside her. The dense moans, the sound of flesh colliding, the sound of lewd juices. I ejaculated inside her body again. Even though I had just ejaculated once, I felt like I had ejaculated so much. To the point where my balls felt completely empty. I pulled my cock out. Then, the semen flowed out. She lowered her hips, opened her arms toward me, and said, "Hold me. I want to be held."
But seeing her like that, a thought suddenly crossed my mind. The two men who became zombies. She must have done this to them too, right? Thinking of that, the desire to hold her completely cooled down. Perhaps it was because I had just ejaculated. That’s what the post-coital slump is like. Or maybe it’s because I took the red pill. "Forget it." Saying that, I went to the bathroom, washed off appropriately, and came out. I put on my pants immediately and left her room, and she was still looking at me from the bed with a smile. As soon as the door closed, I let out a sigh. It felt like I had been caught in a spiderweb and managed to escape. A very thick spiderweb at that. A spiderweb that’s hard to escape from easily.
It was definitely good. The sex with her was enjoyable. However, it wasn't just pure enjoyment. Maybe I was gulping down mercury because it looked pretty? That thought crossed my mind. I must exercise self-control. I shouldn't let my dick dictate what I do. My head should be the one to decide. The principles I’ve set, the rules I’ve set, the work I have to do. I must prioritize those. I don't know what she wants, but I shouldn't just be gentle and do whatever she wants. The problem is whether that’s even possible. So, I went back to my room and washed my body. I washed with cold water on purpose. To come to my senses. I’m not sure if this method will actually help me come to my senses, though.