Chapter 32
Chapter 32
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 32
Chapter Title: A Leap of Faith
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"……!"
Eirene quickly ducked out of sight.
Fortunately, Rayfield didn't seem to have spotted her.
"We're not here to hassle you folks. We just came to check if anyone's around, so it'd be great if you could cooperate nice and quick."
It fell to Igeon to deal with the man in place of the flustered abbey director.
"That won't be possible. Even if it's an imperial order, is it really okay to barge into a monastery without a word?"
"Get real. You acting like we're still in the Magnitipus era, or are you seriously saying that?"
"I'm completely serious. And I hear the Empress is on the run right now. You mentioned an imperial decree, but I'd like to know exactly whose orders you're following."
Thump, thump.
Eirene pressed a hand to her chest and sank to the floor right there.
She prayed desperately that the pounding of her heart wouldn't leak out.
"Fine. You talk a good game. Yeah, the Empress."
"Pardon?"
"We got word that the deposed Empress is hiding here."
"……!"
"So we're just gonna take a quick look around. What, I didn't come to torch the place or anything. No idea why you're being so damn prickly. The less you cooperate, the more suspicious it gets."
As he brushed past Igeon while saying that—
"The moment you set foot in the monastery."
"?"
"From the moment you enter the monastery without permission, we can assume the newly enthroned Empress is hostile to the Igugwoden Church and the Saintess, right?"
Rayfield's unchanged expression finally cracked as he glared at Igeon.
Igeon didn't dodge the gaze. Instead, he stared straight back and repeated the word once more.
"The cathedrals and monasteries of the Igugwoden Church are all God's territory, under the management of the Saintess He has chosen. Rummaging through this place without her permission can only be seen as a challenge to our Igugwoden Church. Or—"
Step, step.
Towering a full head taller than Rayfield, Igeon looked down at him and spoke.
"Have you received the Saintess's permission? If so, we'll cooperate."
"……Ha!"
Rayfield turned his head and let out an exasperated sigh.
He muttered something about damn religious nuts.
Igeon didn't rise to the provocation, just kept staring him down.
"Fine, whatever. I'll go get the Saintess's permission then. That means bringing her along, right?"
"That's correct. If you can manage that."
"Always nitpicking...!"
Rayfield fumed for a moment, but he reined himself in faster than expected.
"Sigh... Look, Father. I don't know what you're thinking, but if you're really hiding the Empress, you're making a huge mistake. You don't seriously think that fallen hag can restore the Igugwoden Church as the state religion just by dragging you along, do you? A new era's coming soon."
"……."
"Yeah. A new era. When a new order and new rules take hold, you lot—and that deposed Empress—will just be relics of a bygone age, swept away."
Rayfield clapped a hand on Igeon's shoulder as he spoke—
"I'll be back by tonight. If you want to keep the Igugwoden Church alive under the new order, think it over."
Only after confirming they were leaving with their soldiers—
'…….'
Plop.
Did her legs finally give out? She collapsed right there.
What? New order? What the hell does that mean?
She could shrug off the incomprehensible words, but the most despairing fact right now was—
That her presence here had been exposed.
* * *
"……."
"Thank you, Abbey Director."
A late dinner was laid out on the table.
The menu was plain as always: rye bread, dried herring, and pickled vegetables.
Eirene loved dinnertime. Nothing made her feel more alive after a day of grueling labor than tearing into that bread.
But tonight, she couldn't touch a thing.
"Then this old timer will take his leave, brother."
"Yes. Thank you."
The abbey director nodded to Eirene as well before stepping out.
Her own way of being considerate, perhaps.
"Here, eat up, Lady Rinasita."
"……."
Igeon continued his meal in silence.
He didn't ask why she wasn't eating, just carried on as usual.
The only sound filling the quiet room was the clink of cutlery against plates.
And it was Eirene who finally broke the silence.
"Just now..."
"Don't worry. The Saintess is incredibly wise. She won't cave to their unreasonable demands."
"Th-that's not..."
Igeon's calm voice stood in stark contrast to Eirene's trembling one.
And—
"I believe."
"Huh...?"
"I believe in you, Lady Rinasita. No matter what."
"……."
The word "believe" stirred something deep inside her again.
But with things as they were... she couldn't keep burying herself in sweet dreams forever.
"...Igeon. I have something to tell you."
"Go ahead."
"I've deceived you."
Igeon's hand paused mid-motion with his cutlery.
Eirene couldn't meet his eyes, so she kept her head slightly bowed as she continued.
"I'm not Rinasita. My name is Eirene von Ainsberg. Until a few days ago, I sat on the Empress's throne... the deposed Empress."
"You trusted me, but I couldn't trust you. That's why I used a false name. If you ask how I feel now, well... I'm probably still not trusting you. If I'd trusted you even a little, I would've told you the truth long before this happened. Don't you think so?"
Yeah.
Someone no one could trust couldn't possibly trust in God.
She'd just been playing dress-up in a nun's habit... but she couldn't escape her fate.
"I know the Igugwoden Church's situation well. I know the Saintess has appeared, but... if it turns into a real power struggle, the imperial family's forces won't lose. You know that too, Igeon. The Saintess could even get hurt. Between a deposed Empress and God's chosen Saintess—who's more important—"
Someone like you, a man of faith, could choose without hesitation, right?
"So, I'll go back. It's not exactly fun living as a woman who doesn't believe in God while wearing a nun's habit. Besides, even as a deposed Empress, they won't execute me right away. Dealing with those kinds of people to preserve my life? I've got plenty of experience, so no need to worry."
Just a bit more.
Just a little longer.
Deceiving people without sincerity was her specialty.
She'd never shown her true feelings to anyone. She always wore whatever mask the situation called for.
It was a lonely life, but trusting no one meant no wounds or disappointments. She figured that solitude suited her just fine.
"I've caused you trouble. I won't forget this kindness. If things go well and I regain the throne... or even if not, I'll repay you somehow."
"Rayfield said he'd return tonight. I'll join him then and leave this place. Thank you for your hospitality."
...That should do it.
Igeon was smart; he'd get the hint.
He was a devout priest. He couldn't ignore the Saintess in danger.
Eirene didn't want that either. Igeon would be heartbroken. A faithful man like him might even blame himself.
So... this was fine.
At that moment.
"……!!"
Igeon's hand brushed past Eirene's eye.
"Igeon... wh-what are you—"
"Don't cry, Lady Rinasita."
"Huh...?"
Only then.
Only then did Eirene realize she was in tears.
"How could I hand you over to those people when you're bawling like this?"
"No, I-I mean..."
"Should I call you Lady Eirene now? Anyway... I told you before, didn't I? I don't know how to make us trust each other, how to convince you to believe in me."
Once again.
Igeon effortlessly breached the walls Eirene had tried to erect with her deception.
As if he intended to face ruin alongside her—
"Let's start by trusting each other. You trust me, and I trust you. Then we'll surely understand what really matters to you right now, Lady Eirene."
"I... I..."
"And—"
Eirene bolted up from her seat in a panic, not even hearing him out.
"Lady Eirene...!"
"S-sorry! I don't... want to talk anymore. Until they come back, don't... look for me. Goodbye...!"
—Tatata...
All the way down the monastery corridor, her heartbeat dominated Eirene's mind.
Thump, thump. Pounding like it might burst out of her chest even now.
And that voice. The voice from in front of the portrait—Just believe in God a little.
Just try believing. That unknown yet familiar voice...
Amid the storm of images swirling in her head, the one she least wanted to acknowledge—
'……!'
The moment she realized it.
Eirene clutched her chest, which felt ready to explode, and could only flee.