Chapter 29
Chapter 29
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 29
Chapter Title: A Leap of Faith
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"Lady Rinashita. Please wake up."
Igeon urgently shook Eirene awake as the rain pattered against the window, where she had been trying to sleep.
"Mmm..."
Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice, and she saw his expression was gravely serious.
"What is it...?"
"It looks like we need to leave this place far away."
"...What?"
"I heard some ominous news at the cathedral today."
To summarize what Igeon said:
The rebel soldiers planned to thoroughly search every single house in the outer districts soon.
So far, the chaos inside the imperial capital had prevented a proper search operation, but the gist was that they now seemed intent on hunting down the escaped prisoners.
'Looking for prisoners...'
That surely included searching for the missing Empress.
"So, we need to get out of the Igugwoden Citadel first. Come this way—"
"Wait."
Eirene said that and brushed off the hand he extended to her.
"Lady Rinashita...?"
"Th-that's..."
Of all times.
Of all moments, one of the rules that had constricted her entire life flashed through her mind.
—Never trust others lightly.
The path of an Empress that Eirene had walked was a road of deceit where if you didn't deceive, you'd be deceived. If she had legitimacy or a cause to back her, that might be one thing, but she was a woman with no power base of her own, having merely inherited the throne due to the previous Emperor's sudden death.
Most of her retainers had no intention of accepting her, who had become Empress by sheer luck, and they didn't even hide their moves to cozy up to the young princesses and princes to form their own factions.
When she had first ascended the throne, she had foolishly been deceived. She had been toyed with by the nobles' flowery rhetoric to the point where the title of Empress didn't suit her.
She resolved herself. To kill off the heart of the dreamy girl who spent her time at tea parties inside the imperial palace, beautifully adorned like a birdcage.
The purges that followed. She never stained her hands lightly with blood but mercilessly eliminated those whose intent to aim for her neck was certain.
Her goal was singular. To strengthen imperial authority as much as possible so that the First Princess, who would become the next Empress, could govern in a somewhat stable environment.
The religious world had seen the emergence of a Saintess, and the external demonic energy was growing stronger, causing monsters to rear their heads once more.
If the political situation became unstable in such times, the Ainsberg imperial line would be exterminated, as always, and a new empire would rise under a new house.
She could never go down in history as the one who ruined the imperial family in her generation—that alone drove her to suspect people, and suspect them again.
Just when she thought she might finally reap the fruit of a stable foundation, the rebellion erupted.
And by the hands of a general she trusted and the nephew she had raised herself.
Contrary to her expectation that it would be swiftly suppressed, she ended up hiding and relying on others.
In this situation... was it right to trust this man and go outside?
All his kindness to her so far might have been for this moment, or perhaps he had long realized she was the Empress and would sell her out, or...
"Lady Rinashita...?"
"..."
Eirene was a woman with shame. She knew that throwing words like "I can't trust you, so I won't follow" at someone who had helped her in every way until now was nothing short of childish petulance.
Of course, a lively young woman might be forgiven for such whims.
But wasn't it ridiculous? A grown woman of 36 acting coy with a man!
Moreover, he was likely younger than her. Regardless of status, she couldn't bare her inner thoughts to him.
Especially... if he was a man she was starting to care about.
Yes.
Unable to rely on anyone... she was now suspecting even the one man helping her out of pure goodwill.
—What am I doing here?
Was it the fate of an Empress deposed by her nephew to fail to make a crucial decision at the final moment because she had no one to trust?
Her body trembled. Eirene realized she couldn't give any answer.
She couldn't say she didn't trust him, nor that she did...
Igeon said nothing for a moment...
"Ah...!"
And grasped the hand of the trembling Eirene.
"You're doubting me, aren't you?"
Eirene looked at him in shock, her eyes wide.
His eyes... were warm. Not eyes that reproached her. They were eyes that gently swept over her.
"People who have been hurt a lot often can't trust others easily. You said it on the first day—you don't trust people. Wasn't it because you trusted someone once and got hurt, so you were protecting yourself?"
"Igeon... I, I..."
"But—"
—Trusting someone isn't a sin.
"!!!"
"So, even if there were bad things in the past, when you think deep in your heart, Lady Rinashita—if you feel like you want to trust this person just once... I think it's okay to do so."
Because we humans are born to live trusting and relying on each other.
"You might get betrayed again. But if you're too afraid of that to do anything, don't you think it's a real shame to miss out on someone you could truly trust?"
Eirene quietly gazed at Igeon's face.
Thump, thump.
Was the pounding of her heart from the sudden urgency of having to flee, or...?
"Come on."
Igeon extended his hand to Eirene again.
"Trust me this time. I'll show you that living by trusting people—trusting something beyond people—isn't so bad."
And so, Eirene cautiously took his hand—
* * *
In the back alleys of the Igugwoden Royal Palace, shrouded in thick darkness under a light rain.
Two figures, a man and a woman, ran hand in hand toward somewhere.
"This way."
"This is... a carriage?"
"Could you change into these clothes inside first?"
Eirene entered the luggage compartment.
As he said, there was a set of clothes. One she had seen before—an Igugwoden Church nun's habit.
Come to think of it, disguising herself as much as possible was the best way to safely escape the citadel.
Eirene undid her bound hair. Her long, bright yellow hair cascaded down to her chest.
Then she changed out of her clothes and into the nun's habit.
'...It's a bit tight.'
It felt like the clothes might burst at any moment, but she managed to squeeze into them somehow.
The outfit shamelessly exposed her aggressively ample sideboob... but foolishly, she thought the openings might actually prevent it from ripping.
They say the bigger the breasts, the greater the divine power, but she couldn't understand what was good about it. They were just heavy and uncomfortable. As such thoughts crossed her mind—
'What does Igeon... think...?'
Suddenly, such a cheeky thought popped up.
It wasn't strange. The Igugwoden Church folks liked big breasts. Even when they first met, he had complimented their size...
'...What are you thinking, Eirene!'
Eirene slapped both her cheeks.
Was this the time for useless thoughts when they needed to escape right away?
Having properly donned even the black veil of the nun, she stepped out of the luggage compartment—
"...Wow."
"Hm...?"
Igeon turned his head away, avoiding her eyes.
Eirene worried there might be some problem—
"Ah, no. Sorry. It's just... you're so beautiful."
"...!!!"
Eirene whipped her head away—
"D-don't spout nonsense. Ever since a while ago... even if you flatter me like that..."
"It's not flattery! It's true. But... as you said, Lady Rinashita, this isn't the time for such talk."
She took his outstretched hand again, her face slightly flushed.
Thump, thump.
The rain was growing heavier.
Her body was getting wet from the rain... but she felt relieved.
She was afraid he might hear her heartbeat.
Holding hands like that, they reached the citadel gate.
The guard greeted Eirene and Igeon with an annoyed expression.
"Where are you headed?"
"To the Aegerdeng Monastery."
"Ah, it's Igeon. Hello. And that one..."
The guard eyed Eirene in her nun's habit.
It should have been tense, but with Igeon beside her, she felt no anxiety.
Instead, she calmly closed her eyes and bowed in greeting.
"Hello."
"A nun I've never seen before."
"She's an ascetic who recently resolved to follow God's will."
At Igeon's explanation, the guard nodded without pressing further.
"I see. If you're with the priest, no problem. Go ahead."
Igeon bowed gratefully.
"Thank you. This way."
* * *
How long had they walked hand in hand?
As the raindrops grew thicker, she looked back to see the Igugwoden Royal Palace already quite distant.
She, who had always looked down from the palace towers, had been chased from the throne.
Now she was fleeing through the gates and looking up at the distant capital Igugwoden—but—
"Be careful, Lady Rinashita. It's raining."
Strangely, just having Igeon by her side made her feel like things would somehow work out, a positive mood rising.
At any rate, they had made it out of the citadel.
Once they reached the monastery to hide, she could properly check on the situation of her vassals in other territories.
She considered going there directly... but with no certainty about which vassals had sided with the rebellion, she needed to preserve her mobility.
Splash, splash.
"We have to go up this uphill path... are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
The rain was pouring heavily, but hadn't she roamed around quite a bit in her youth?
A few minutes after stepping forward with that thought—
"Ugh...!"
"Lady Rinashita!"
Pathetically, she tripped on a stone and twisted her ankle.
Yes, even if she had roamed in her youth, she was no longer a young girl.
Checking the injury... it was swollen enough to be obvious.
Igeon knelt and gently examined Eirene's wound.
"It's not too serious... but can you walk?"
"...I can walk."
"Really?"
Eirene stood resolutely and moved her foot a few times... but—
'...!!!'
The sharp pain shot through her again, and she collapsed.
Her body, soaked like a drowned rat—what a disgrace.
At that moment.
Igeon, who had been checking the wound, turned around, squatted with his back to her—
"Lady Rinashita. Come on. Get on my back."
* * *
Whoosh—
The rain lashed at Eirene's back.
...She hadn't wanted a piggyback. She just didn't want to stubbornly cause trouble for Igeon in the rain.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
Eirene's chest pressed fully against Igeon's broad back.
More than the embarrassment of her breasts touching... she was worried about her heartbeat giving her away.
What to do? If he finds out, what should I...?
Afraid her heart would leap out, Eirene squeezed out some words.
"...Aren't I heavy?"
"No. Not at all."
Igeon was clearly a different kind of human from her. Tall, broad-shouldered... with firm arms.
A thought kept surfacing: a man, different from a woman.
A man, whom she had never truly acknowledged until now.
Eirene foolishly wondered if men really had bodies so different from a woman's.
Whoosh—
As they climbed into the mountains, where the sound of rain hitting leaves echoed—
"...Igeon."
"Yes?"
"When no one trusts you, how do you make people trust you?"
Unknowingly, Eirene bared her heart to another for the first time.
The inner thoughts she had never shared to avoid seeming weak.
"I didn't trust anyone because trusting led to betrayal. In my world, trusting someone was proof of weakness. Those who trusted were destroyed by that trust. No one remained."
She spoke words that would be incomprehensible without prior knowledge.
"Naturally, no one truly trusted me. I liked it that way. Since I trusted no one, having someone trust me was just tiring. But... now, ridiculously, I don't know how to trust someone. Or how to make someone who doesn't trust me come to trust me... I have no idea. That's why I couldn't answer you earlier, Igeon."
She wasn't really expecting an answer.
She just... wanted to open up. Because he had said humans must rely on each other.
No one approached me sincerely as Empress... but since you don't know I'm the Empress, maybe I can rely on you.
"When no one trusts you, a way to build mutual trust..."
Igeon didn't dismiss her words as foolish but pondered them seriously.
Each time he shifted as he thought, a masculine scent wafted from him.
And—
"I don't really know either."
Once again, this man gave an unexpected answer.
"What...?"
"Things like how to make people trust you, or convincing those who don't... Honestly, I have no idea."
With that, he turned his head back to the piggybacked Eirene, flashing a starlit smile—
"So, why don't you figure it out with me from now on?"
"...What?"
"Let's figure it out together. How we can trust each other."
Thump, thump.
Thump, thump.
—Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump...
Her wildly pounding heartbeat swallowed the sound of the rain.
His voice, her thoughts—everything was devoured entirely.
What remained was the heartbeat's echo. The thrill of a sensation felt for the first time in her life. Realizing she was a woman before she was Empress.
Eirene von Ainsberg.
At the age of thirty-six, she finally came to know a man.