Chapter 17
Chapter 17
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 17
Chapter Title: The False Paradise
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"Luca? What's the matter?"
"Eh? Oh…… no. My head just suddenly started hurting……."
"Is that so? Are you feeling unwell? I heard you were completely absorbed in your studies this morning……."
"Yeah…… I guess so. Sorry about that."
"It's fine."
The nun smiled kindly and closed the Holy Scripture.
Thump, thump.
For some reason, Luca could tell that something deep in her heart was pounding fiercely.
Heartbeat……?
"Since it's the first day of class, you don't have to do anything in particular. Ah, perfect timing. Shall we offer a prayer to the Lord today?"
"Ah, yes……!"
Luca closed her eyes and began to pray.
"The Sole God of the world, the exalted one, Goddess ■■■■■-nim. Please bestow your mercy upon us today as well……"
The words of the prayer didn't even properly register in her ears.
Even the name of the god was unclear. She could hear the sound with her ears, but it was as if her mind couldn't comprehend what it was.
Strange things kept happening one after another, so Luca swallowed dryly in tension.
Normally, she would have found the phenomenon odd…… but strangely, the only thing swirling in Luca's mind right now was that single phrase from the Holy Scripture that had seemed to shine on its own.
And so the prayer ended.
Hesitating, Luca soon pointed to the Holy Scripture in front of the nun and asked.
"Um…… Sister. Could I take a look at this just once……?"
"Ah, you mean the Holy Scripture. It must be intriguing because it looks different from the one given to you, Lady Luca? This is the official version issued to the sisters."
As she said, its appearance was far more ornate than the one Luca had received.
Honestly, that didn't matter. She just wanted to check the contents.
Maybe something different was written in it.
But.
「You are not wrong.」
No matter which page she opened, everything except the first page was blank.
Then what were the words the Sister had recited from memory……? What on earth?
"How is it?"
"Ah, uh…… yes, it's pretty……!"
Luca couldn't hide her panic, but the nun smiled indifferently as she took the Holy Scripture back.
"You'll come to understand one day, Lady Luca. The true beauty of the Holy Scripture doesn't lie in its appearance, but in the content it holds."
"I-is that so……?"
"Yes. What the Holy Scripture contains is, every single word—"
The word of God.
Watching over.
Exists.
"!!!!!!!"
Huh?
What was that?
Just now, layered over the Sister's voice, it felt like a strange voice……?
"Miss? What's wrong?"
"Eh? Oh…… n-no, nothing……."
The nun touched Luca's forehead with a worried expression.
"You seem to have a bit of a fever too…… I think that's enough for today. We'll start memorizing the Holy Scripture from next week, so prepare accordingly by then. The proper theological studies will begin after that. Understood?"
"Yes……."
* * *
For several days, Luca showed the Holy Scripture she had received from the nun to people here and there.
The maids all recited the passages the Sister had mentioned, as if it were nothing.
Her parents asked if she wanted to become a nun when she grew up, saying they would support whatever she wanted to do. Of course, both parents recited the passages from the Holy Scripture without issue.
Only.
Only she alone could not read the Holy Scripture.
No, she could read it. But— she read something different from everyone else. Only her.
Then one night.
It was a night when she particularly couldn't fall asleep.
Luca wasn't the type to fall asleep quickly to begin with. Whenever she lay in bed to sleep, it always felt like something was missing.
That sense of emptiness didn't disappear no matter how much she touched her head or even with her parents nearby.
Even accounting for that, sleep felt especially elusive tonight.
The most dominant emotion Luca felt right now— anxiety.
The sensation that she had firmly forgotten something.
The feeling that she had forcibly hidden some mistake she made.
Like the time in her childhood when she accidentally shattered her father's cherished porcelain and hid it, locking herself in her room and crying from guilt, but on a scale incomparable to that…… she had forgotten something far more important……
Thump, thump.
Her heart was pounding fiercely.
Something kept shouting at her. She couldn't hear it, but.
Luca sat up in bed and, relying on the dim light of a small lantern, checked the Holy Scripture again.
The content hadn't changed. You are not wrong.
"You are not wrong……."
The words from the Holy Scripture manifested into the world through her lips.
And, strangely enough— just by voicing it, Luca sensed some kind of mysterious power.
'The word of God…….'
What was written in the Holy Scripture was from the Lord…… so, uh…… ■■■■■-nim……?
Anyway, if what was written in the Holy Scripture was the word of the Lord……
'Then "you are not wrong"…… is the word of God?'
If so, what does it mean that I am not wrong……?
What does it mean that I am right……?
—At that moment.
'……?'
Through the window that Luca had always loved gazing out of since childhood, an extraordinarily bright moonlight streamed in.
At the edge of the light— a mirror. The mirror that had always been there.
As if being controlled by someone, Luca unwittingly toddled toward the mirror.
And when she finally arrived in front of the mirror.
"……Huh?"
What greeted her was herself.
A mirror reflects an image. Naturally, it could only show her own appearance.
But this was beyond that level.
Standing there was not the Luca in luxurious pajamas, raised with love evident in her demeanor—
But a Luca in dingy clothes, with a pained expression as if she hadn't eaten properly.
"!!!!!!"
At that instant.
Suddenly, the ground beneath her feet began to shake.
Could it be…… an earthquake?
It happened occasionally, but Luca was only a 13-year-old child, hardly able to stay calm.
"W-what is this……!! Mom!!! Dad!!!"
Her panic calling for her parents lasted only a moment—
Luca realized something was fundamentally wrong.
This isn't the ground shaking, upon closer look.
The walls are shaking.
Everything except where she stood…… was melting away.
The walls, the dolls, the warm bed, the diary she had diligently written in, all of it.
"W-what is this?! Save me! Please save me!"
She cried out in terror here and there…… but soon, the space turned pitch black.
The only thing left before Luca's eyes, the mirror.
And within it, her miserable-looking self.
Before she could even ponder what was happening—
'That voice' began to speak.
<<[Luca.]>>
"!!!!"
From above…… a voice.
Someone from above…… watching me?
"Wh-who are you……?"
<<[I am God's Proxy. Calm yourself. There's no need to be afraid.]>>
—Nod, nod.
All Luca could do was stiffly nod her head—
'D-don't be scared……!'
She had to be brave. Dad said so. Courage is the highest virtue above all……!
Luca raised her head and, squeezing out the strength from her heart with great effort, said.
"Th-then, if you're the proxy of the Lord…… are you the proxy of ■■■■■-nim?!"
<<[No.]>>
—The name of the god is not that.
<<[Luca. If you've seen the Holy Scripture, you should know.]>>
'……!'
<<[You alone could see the 'word of God' that everyone else couldn't even discern. Because you are loved by the god.]>>
Me, loved by…… the god?
<<[Hearing this voice now is part of the same reason. The god desires your happiness.]>>
"The god…… desires my happiness?"
<<[Yes. That is why we created this place in response to the god— a comfortable false paradise where you can live as Luca de Poitiers, loved by all, where only happy things ever happen.]>>
Because the god's will is your happiness.
"Yes……?"
Hearing that, Luca froze with blank eyes.
Wait a minute.
What do you mean you created a comfortable false paradise……?
The world I'm in…… is fake?
Instead of answering, God's Proxy continued with what had to be said.
<<[You must be wondering why this is the path to your happiness. It's a very simple story. You—]>>
—Are fated to never be happy, no matter what.
* * *
I want Luca to be happy— that is the god's will.
The strong intent of the true Sole God looking down upon us.
With the 'omnipotent power' bestowed by the god, it searches and searches for every possibility where Luca can be happy.
But it couldn't. It was like being unable to resurrect one who had fully ascended to heaven.
However, the 'will of the god' must be fulfilled no matter what. Thus, the answer derived by the world—
—A promised eternal happiness in the miniature garden.
A happy place without pain or sorrow.
A father who loves her, a wise mother, maids like sisters. A place where sad things never happen.
That was the only path for Luca to become 'happy.'
"Does that mean……"
……it's all fake?
My mom and dad too?
The family I loved…… were all, all just illusions?
Luca collapsed to the ground.
It was absurd, but strangely, she was certain.
The being speaking to her now, God's Proxy, was not lying.
<<[That is why I have come to you.]>>
"Yes……?"
<<[Luca. You are a child loved by the god. The god rarely uses such immense power. That is how much the god values your 'will.']>>
It's simple. If you desire it, I will send you back to the 'real world.' To that place where you cannot escape your harsh fate.
Of course, if you wish to remain in this world— at least your soul can rest in eternal happiness, unaware of any truth.
"That means—"
<<[Yes. It is your choice. What will you do?]>>
Luca bowed her head, contemplating her answer.
Of course, she intended to return. To where her parents were waiting.
If this was a dream, she planned to cling to them, sobbing that she wanted to sleep together.
But.
But something kept nagging at her.
The words 「You are not wrong.」
The persistent thought that she had forgotten something.
Luca slowly touched her head.
……No, this isn't it.
She had forgotten something.
Would she remember if she returned to the original world?
But…… does that even matter?
'……Yeah.'
Yeah. This is a terrible nightmare.
When she woke up, she would tell her mom. That she dreamed of God's Proxy.
Her mom wasn't that religious, so she would worry, wondering what dream her daughter had this time. Luca really loved that warmth from her mom.
Her dad too. The dad who always worried about her.
Even in tough situations, he always yielded food to her and habitually said 'the god is watching'—
'……Huh?'
Drip, drip.
Suddenly, tears like chicken droppings fell to the floor.
……Dad?
To me…… to me……
Always saying the god is watching.
Watching everything I choose…… Dad.
Luca couldn't possibly articulate her current feelings into proper sentences.
How could a 13-year-old girl explain feeling such profound longing for someone she didn't even know the identity of?
<<[Choose freely, Luca. The god will not judge you.]>>
"……."
Luca gazed at her other self in the mirror, then quietly closed her eyes.
And touched her head again.
You said it, miss. Every time I stroke your hair, you say 'this doesn't feel right' or 'something's missing.' I thought you felt empty with your long hair gone, so I saved it— how is it?
I……
What the Holy Scripture contains, every single word is the word of God.
If what is in the Holy Scripture truly is the word of God—
Luca slowly stood up and stared straight into the darkness above her.
"……I want to return to the original world."
—I wasn't wrong.