Chapter 113
Chapter 113
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 113
Chapter Title: The First Divine Miracle
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'W-Wait...? You mean... make the spirit happy...?'
That instant.
Like lightning crashing from the sky, a voice twice as loud as before boomed through my head.
<<[Insolent!]>>
'Kyaaah...!!!'
<<[Not some nonexistent figment of barbaric imagination like a spirit. I am a god. A real, existing god! You must never err in how you address me.]>>
'S-Sorry...! God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...!'
Terrified, I bowed my head repeatedly, apologizing over and over.
Somehow, it felt like if I didn't do this right now, I'd ruin everything with my own hands.
With trembling eyes, I looked at my mother.
Her eyes... were far paler than before.
She wasn't even murmuring my name anymore.
'No...!'
There was only one thing I could do: make the god happy.
But.
With my mother dying right in front of me, how was I supposed to stay calm and think of something to amuse a god?
Naturally, in this impossible situation, there was nothing I could do.
"Ah... ahh... ahhhh."
I racked my brain desperately, but all I could do was collapse to the floor and shed tears—wasting time without a single idea.
I had to do something, anything. Tell a funny story? But did I even have one?
What if my story wasn't amusing? Then... then... would it all be over?
Would I lose this chance to save my mother?
Just as my thoughts spiraled into a frenzy, one chasing the next—
<<[Can you hear me?]>>
'Ah... y-yes! Yes, I can hear you! I hear you, God!'
[ Ah Kanp bitch so fuckin boring -_- just tell her to do what I say lol ]
<<[The god has shown mercy. Obey my commands faithfully, and I shall save your mother.]>>
'R-Really?! Understood! I-I'll do anything...!!'
In my failure to even properly heed the god's request, how magnanimous was this?
I was too young back then to articulate it properly, but looking back now—that's how it felt.
I rushed to my mother, who was on the verge of losing consciousness.
"Mother! Just hold on a little longer. The god said He'd help!"
"......"
"Urgh...! P-Please hang in there... I'll save you soon...!"
<<[First, grab your ears with both hands.]>>
The moment the voice spoke, I grabbed both my ears as ordered.
'I-I've got them!'
<<[Now, sit and stand repeatedly in place.]>>
'Understood...!'
And so, I sat and stood repeatedly in place as commanded.
I didn't care at all how I looked to others; I was utterly desperate to please the merciful god.
Yeah.
Up to this point, I'd followed without a second thought.
Until this moment, nothing but the goal of saving my mother had entered my mind.
Not until the next command.
<<[Roll your eyes upward, stick out your tongue, and shout: 'Ooh! Oooh! Ukki-kki! Great God! Bestow your blessing upon this barbaric Kanp bitch!']>>
'Y-Yes...?'
What... did you say?
Bestow a blessing upon a barbaric Kanp bitch...?
What even was a Kanp bitch...? Was that me?
Stunned by the utterly unbelievable command—
"......"
'Mother...!!'
If there was anything I could do for my unconscious mother, I had to do it!
If I hesitated and the god changed His mind, that would be disastrous.
I stopped thinking and did as the god commanded: rolled my eyes up, stuck my tongue out as far as it would go... and, because of my protruding tongue, mangled the words as I chanted them.
"Oo, oooh! Ukki-kki! Igweat God! Bestow bwessing on bawbaric Kanp bitch!"
My breath came in gasps from the ridiculous pose, but it was fine.
Bestow your blessing!
Upon this barbaric Kanp bitch!
I repeated the phrase over and over, sitting and standing each time.
I had no idea why He called me a Kanp bitch or demanded this clownish behavior... but I wanted to save my mother, somehow.
How many minutes passed like that?
As sweat poured from my body and I panted heavily—
<<[Good.]>>
'...?'
[Ah fuckkk hilarious lmao xD Kanp bitch's dumbass face while doing full retard shit is gold xD xD here ya go balloon]
<<[The god is greatly pleased with your actions.]>>
'That means...!'
Right then.
—Crack!
"W-What?!"
Startled, I fell backward, and what entered my view was—
The boulder crushing my mother, shattering.
Cracks spread everywhere as light leaked out—
—BOOOOM!!!!!
"Kyaaaaah!!!"
It exploded, and a fierce gust slammed into me.
I fell flat on my butt, and my mind—
Right then.
While I still clung to consciousness, some words I couldn't even comprehend... I still can't forget them to this day.
[One balloon for 1000 won fuckin expensive -_- total ripoff fr]
《Ah!! Dtamuk Thinking Army bro! Five balloons! Thank youuu~~! Wow! Bro's first donation again today! First donation cheer! Cheer cheer cheer! Thanks a ton bro! Alright! Rock-breaking time let's goooo!!!》
<<[God exists.]>>
<<[The god's name is 'Dtamuk Thinking Army'.]>>
<<[This is the name of the one true god and absolute sovereign whom you shall henceforth revere.]>>
<<[Pibiola, you are the one chosen by the god. Never forget that.]>>
Dtamuk Thinking Army...
That was... the god's name...?
I'd been chosen by the god?
More than that, five balloons—what did that even...?
Unable to grasp the various phrases swirling in my mind, I blacked out.
* * *
When I came to again, I was lying in bed at home.
"Pibiola! Pibiola! Are you conscious?"
"M-Mother..."
"Oh, thank goodness... Truly, thank goodness, Pibiola..."
Only when my mother's scent tickled my nose as she hugged me lying there did my senses fully return. I bolted upright and bombarded her with questions.
"M-Mother? Mother! Are you... are you okay...?!'
"Yes, Pibiola. Mother's fine. Completely healed. The god... the god saved me..."
"God...!"
Right, yes. The god!
At first, I thought it was a spirit's voice, but it was a god's...!
He'd forced some truly bizarre and grotesque actions on me, but somehow, He'd saved my mother from the brink of death.
'Thank you, truly thank you, Lord Dtamuk Thinking Army...!!'
Just then, the sound of the door opening rang out.
In walked the head of our family and a member of the council of elders—my grandfather.
Despite his advanced age, he was still hale and hearty, serving as the de facto guardian for us after Father's passing.
"You're awake, Pibiola...!"
"Grandfather...!"
"Yes, I've heard everything from your mother. About hearing the spirit's... no, the god's voice—is it true?"
"Yes... it is."
I explained everything that had happened to Grandfather.
How we'd gone to the mountain with Mother, encountered the accident, and as she lay dying, suddenly heard the god's voice.
How the god had used something called a 'balloon' to perform a miracle.
And how the god's name was 'Dtamuk Thinking Army'.
"...A god, is it."
Grandfather pondered for a moment, hand on his chin.
"It seems the legends passed down are true after all."
"What do you mean?"
"Pibiola, you know what the spirits are, right?"
"Yes. They're the ones who dwell in all things, watching over us. With a spirit in every aspect of nature, it's our ■■■ duty to live in harmony with it."
"Indeed. But there's a legend we never taught you children because it sounded so far-fetched."
"Yes...?"
"Truth is, all spirits were originally one vast conceptual entity... called 'god'."
Grandfather continued gravely.
"In the era of the god, there were women called 'shamanesses' who communed with Him, and the ■■■ flourished endlessly around them—but foolish ■■■ grew greedy without end, so the god shattered Himself and embedded His fragments into all things. In that process, the shamanesses vanished."
"W-Wait... women who communed with the god... shamanesses?"
Nod.
At my words, Grandfather looked at me with utmost seriousness.
"Pibiola. If it's true you heard the god's voice in your head, then... it seems you've been chosen by Him."
"...!"
The voice that had swept through my mind before I passed out resurfaced.
The words telling me to never forget I'd been chosen by the god.
"Father... what should we do now?"
"Don't worry, Helena. If her healthy return is thanks to the god's miracle, becoming a shamaness is a blessing, isn't it?"
"But..."
"Pibiola. It may be bewildering, but with the god's power... we ■■■ might even become masters of this continent. Serving the god, but wouldn't that benefit us all?"
"!!!"
Grandfather's expression was deadly serious.
As if he'd snatched incredible fortune from the jaws of death.
"I'll report to the council. That you've been chosen by the god. When they see miracles wrought by petitioning Him, they'll agree."
Then, with his wrinkled hands gripping mine tightly—
"Just as you saved Mother, become a shamaness for this old man—for all us ■■■, Pibiola!"
—Now, looking back, I don't clearly recall my exact thoughts upon hearing Grandfather say that.
But at the time—I think I just wanted to repay the god who'd saved my mother.
A faded old memory.
Saving my mother on the brink of death.
That was my first encounter with the god's miracle—the god's 'balloon'.
If we hadn't witnessed that miracle, perhaps us Kanps would look a bit different today.
No matter how many times I think about it, there's no way to recapture spilled water.
—A few days later.
I was officially made the shamaness representing the ■■■.
And—that was the beginning of everything.